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It had been exactly one year since that incident.
One year since the survivors of the HAL18 crash had to fight for their lives against nature, one year since the space-time transfer phenomenon, one year since the death of one of Utsumi’s twins and… one year since the disappearance of the man Kokoro had loved. The one she'd known as “Satoru”.
Kokoro exhaled a shuddery breath, images of Satoru's form running up to her from the ocean flashed through her mind. The warm memories of those letters exchanged, reassurances, his voice messages. After everything they battled against together, as twins whose connection transcended space-time. After everything... it only took a second for him to vanish, for his body to become an empty husk that housed no soul. Angry tears welled up in her eyes at the thought.
"Kokorooon!"
A familiar, boyish whine echoed from the living room, snapping her out of her reminiscing.
Kokoro closed her eyes and exhaled, threading her fingers through her hair to bury those bittersweet memories of him right back to where they came from. When she opened her eyes again, she had on a bright, somewhat funny smile like that of a mother attempting to soothe her sobbing infant.
When she finally walked in to the living room, she saw Yuni relaxing on the couch, flipping through various TV channels aimlessly.
‘He really has grown even more since that day, huh?’
She mused to herself. There had barely been any difference between the Yuni of 2012 and the Yuni of 2011 appearance-wise, but Yuni had hit an unexpected growth spurt over the past year and he now reached up to Kokoro's shoulder. Something he'd been very eager to boast about the minute he'd noticed.
Ever since the escape from Mount Akakura, she and the Yuni of 2012 had begun living together. Since Yuni had nowhere to go after the incident and Kokoro lived alone in an apartment close to Kyumeikan Women's University, she proposed the idea of becoming his legal guardian. In a way, that gesture hadn't just been to support Yuni, she'd wanted to ease her own heart too. Over the course of that week, she had gained just as much as she had lost, and she couldn't accept going back to a world devoid of reminders of what had happened. She was the only one who could truly understand Yuni's feelings, and he was the only one could provide comfort to her. Being somewhat like a dear younger brother to her, they helped each other cope with the labyrinth of memories that kept haunting them.
Kokoro walked over to Yuni and sat down next to him, slinging an arm around his shoulder.
“So, what did His Highness need so desperately that he had to call me all the way over here?~” she asked, a playful lilt in her voice as she slightly rocked Yuni's slender frame back and forth.
"Geez, Kokoron, I was hungry! It's already 10am, you know? Breakfast should have been ready by now!"
As she tussled Yuni's blonde locks, Kokoro continued, “you've become so spoiled over the last year! What happened to the mature and responsible kid that was more capable than the adults around him?”
“I kinda did save your life, Kokoron. If you won't marry me in return, at least pretend to be my wife and spoil me.” Yuni responded smugly. Kokoro huffed indignantly upon hearing his words.
"You little snot-nosed brat! That's never happening! I won't allow you to pretend either!" Kokoro scolded, a tiny smile on her lips.
“Fine…” Yuni huffed “Kokoron, can I get eggs and bacon for breakfast? Pleeease?.”
“Now that’s a good kid! Big sis will try extra hard to make the perfect sunny side up. Right away!” Kokoro beamed and saluted Yuni, moving to get up. But before she could, his next words froze her in place.
“Wait.” A serious tone, a Yuni drastically different from the playful Yuni of just a second ago appeared.
A small hand was holding onto her wrist, when she turned to look around, he motioned to her to sit down again.
“Is something wrong? You're acting kind of... awkward, like you're trying too hard or something.” he questioned in a gentle tone, but the knowing glint in his eyes made it clear he knew exactly what was going on.
“You really are observant, aren’t you? It amazed me when I first met you, and even now, you're...” Kokoro trailed off with a note of exhaustion in her voice, finally dropping her happy go lucky pretense.
“Is it… that again?” Is it because of the date today?" He continued prodding her, ignoring her remark.
Her silence provided Yuni with the answer he needed. He let go of her arm and leaned back into the plush couch and sat there in silence for a moment, staring into space, pondering something only he could ever know the answer to. After a few seconds, he leaned forward again without a word, and quietly wrapped his arms around Kokoro, feeling her body stiffen in response.
“H-Hey, Yuni? If you really did know as much as you seemed to, couldn’t you have also saved them? That girl experiencing the space-time transfer with Inubushi Keiko? Hotori-chan, and... Satoru.”
Her body shivered at the last word.
Even though uttering those names again was painful, a sense of freedom enveloped her as she finally managed to ask him what had been weighing on her for so long. Kokoro was airheaded, but she wasn’t stupid, a year of reflection over the incident and Yuni’s vague answers eventually gave her an idea of what the bizarre events she’d experienced could have been, even if she didn't quite know the details..
In response, Yuni averted his eyes. His expression blank, he hesitated. His fingers playing with the hem of his shirt, he mumbled out an answer.
“If I tried to save Hotori too, I might not have been able to save you… or everyone else in the cabin, we wouldn't have enough supplies to survive. And Satoru, his existence was simply that of one who couldn't be chained to this world for any longer.”
Yuni had regrets about not being able to save everyone, but he wasn’t selfless or idealistic enough to try and and put Kokoro at risk as result. He had liked Hotori, she was like another big sister to him, she was a good person who hadn't deserved to be wrapped up in any of this. As for Satoru, he was harsh, sometimes insensitive, and he wasn't what he seemed to be, but the SELF that had inhabited him at that point was clueless, he truly had everyone's best interests in mind. Yuni had wanted to save them both... but he had no choice, right? His heart had leapt with fear at the very thought of lowering the chances of Kokoro's survival. That warm hand that had gripped his, protecting him. His turn had finally come to repay her, to protect her, and he’d gone though everything he did to fulfil that one, selfish desire - saving Kokoro. No matter how much the memories of those days tormented him, if it meant meeting Kokoro and saving her, he'd gladly do it all over again.
“I’m sorry…” He cast his eyes downwards. His small hands grew shaky as he gripped the fabric of his shirt even tighter.
Upon hearing that, Kokoro silently returned his hug, patting his back reassuringly. She had known all along. Known that Yuni had regrets about this outcome as well, regretted the precious things they had lost. Kokoro was the same, after all. She didn’t think she could ever be rid of the ache in her heart whenever Satoru came to mind. But despite it all…
She smiled. A big, genuine smile that came from the heart.
“You don’t need to be such an adult all the time you know? You’re just a kid, no matter how mature you pretend to be. Saving so many lives isn’t a burden that should’ve been placed on you in the first place. Rely on your big sis more y'know? Or I'll end up feeling worthless!” She mocked wiping away tears from her eyes.
As he gazed at her, Yuni's dark expression too started to lift, and he softly chuckled, warmth gradually returning to his eyes. For a second, Kokoro thought she saw the corner of his eyes glisten with a tear.
“Don’t treat me like a child Kokoron! I’m a mature, dependable man, you're the one who should be relying on me. So if you’re feeling sad, run into my arms for comfort whenever you please!”
“You little-!” Kokoro chuckled and grabbed him, putting him in a chokehold and mussing up his hair as he struggled futilely in her arms like a cute little woodland creature. Just like that first encounter on HAL18. The memories made warmth blossom in her chest.
“Kokoron!~ M-My glasses! They'll breaaak!!!” Yuni whined as he tried to escape her grip. She just smirked challengingly.
"You're not getting away that easily Yuni!"
She had gained many things over the course of that fateful week, and she had lost just as much. However, there was also a lot that she didn't lose, a lot that made her want to live on. So despite everything...
Somehow… she knew they’d be okay.