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There he was, right where Shuichi expected him to be. Like clockwork, every weekday at 3:00 pm, he was there under that spectacular cherry blossom tree behind his school with two of his friends, smoking, talking, and snacking, completely unaware that they were being observed. Shuichi daringly inched closer to them, mere feet away at this point, his only cover being a rather large black trash can. Would they see him if he dared to move even closer-
No, he mustn't. After all, as much as Shuichi adored him, he couldn’t risk revealing himself. He’d spent so much time admiring from afar that he was smitten, although they’d never said a word to each other. If Kaito Momota knew how Shuichi felt, he would probably just be creeped out and write Shuichi off as some creepy stalker, rather than a perfect match for him. If only Shuichi had spoken up the first time he’d ever seen him. Shuichi remembered the scene clearly; Kaito was looking up at a poster for Danganronpa 52, eyeing a determined Rantaro Amami and an expressionless Tsumugi Shirogane. He smirked, whispering to himself, “If I were in there, I’d’ve won before Monokuma presented the first motive. Cowards.” He lit himself a cigarette and left, not noticing a quiet teenage boy blushing darkly and tugging on his hat from around the corner. Those words had sent a pang of warmth and adrenaline into Shuichi’s heart which hadn’t died down even after several months. He’d started following Kaito around, learning his schedule, his favorite brand of cigarettes, his friends’ names… But if only he’d had the courage to talk to him that first time; they could have gone somewhere together and shared their loves for Danganronpa, they could’ve gotten to know each other, they could have had something more-
No, stop it. Clutching his Monokuma keychain, Shuichi resolved to stay in the moment and stop letting his imagination run wild. Staying focused and rational in a dire situation was what Kyoko Kirigiri would do, after all.
He focused on their conversation, but mostly on Kaito’s voice, his deep, handsome voice.
“He tried snitching on you again? Hell, if we were in Danganronpa, I would’ve fucking killed him!”
That made Shuichi’s heart skip a beat. He could feel his cheeks growing hot, too. If Kaito were in Danganronpa…
Just this once, he had to bask in his wonderful imagination and forget the task at hand. His mind ran wild with ideas for talents, outfits, and personalities for Kaito. Of him killing someone, failing or succeeding, of his execution-
Woah, woah, control yourself, Shuichi, you’re doing it again.
Shuichi had a habit of immersing himself too much in his thoughts and fantasies, often missing out on his real life. He’s lost days to maladaptive daydreaming, and this would bother him more if he even had a life to begin with. No friends to speak of, really, at least not in real life. But in his defense, his classmates really aren’t all that interesting, anyway. But, then again, all that piques Shuichi’s interest these days is Danganronpa, and it’s been that way since middle school. Maybe I’m just as boring as my classmates…
In fact, he’d followed Kaito and his friends to their secret smoking spot for the umpteenth time in order to catch a glimpse of the real Kaito Momota. He dreamed of him so often and had so many different yet perfect(at least in Shuichi’s eyes) versions of Kaito living in his head, but his attempts to stay content with just dreaming were failing desperately. So, he thought, if he was going to cast Kaito as the lead role in his fantasy movies, he may as well portray him as accurately as possible.
“Could you imagine it? Me killing him with a giant needle or something? Talk about snitches literally getting stitches.”
“Alright, cool it Momota. I think it’d be enough if we just knocked some of his teeth out or something-”
*clack*
“What was that?”
“Did it come from… that trash can?”
One of the boys walked toward the trash can, curious as to what could’ve caused such a noise, before Kaito called out to him.
“Hey, isn’t it more important that we discuss how to beat the shit out of that Ouma kid?”
Shuichi’s adrenaline levels were at an all time high as the boy abandoned pursuit. In the heat of the moment, Shuichi had dropped his phone as he heard Kaito share a potential murder plan. It always made his heart race, hearing Kaito so openly discuss anything Danganronpa, but what made Kaito special was his particular interest in murder, which was an interest that both he and Shuichi shared. Now, people would talk about and praise Danganronpa, but it was a rarity to find someone so interested in wishing to participate in a killing game, let alone actually murder someone. It set Shuichi aside from his fellow Danganronpa fans. It made them think he was weird, disturbed even, how he’d passionately and fervently describe all the killing and even execution methods he could dream up. But Kaito… Kaito wasn’t afraid to voice his murderous desires, he’d even get creative with them most of the time. And that… that set Shuichi’s heart ablaze.
And it helped all the more how attractive Kaito was. He was tall, fit, tan, he had purple hair! Just how many people do you know that both have and rock purple hair? That fine collarbone of his jutted out and above his shirt that was just the most piercing shade of crimson red… It wasn’t even part of his uniform, though, Shuichi learned. It was actually supposed to be white, but Kaito Momota wasn’t exactly a stickler for rules. His jacket, which actually was part of his uniform, really did fit so nicely on his semi-muscular arms too. And that face… Such a boyish, angular face suited him and his rough personality. Shuichi momentarily wished for Kaito to look at him with that face, even if it were with disgust.
“Hey, I’m hungry, let’s get out of here.”
“Same, let’s hit up that coffee shop Ouma works at.”
“Hell yeah, he better give us free shit again.”
They stomped out their cigarettes and left, not bothering to dispose of the evidence. Sighing in both relief and disappointment, Shuichi stood and stretched his legs when he was sure he was alone. These ventures were always so stressful, yet so rewarding. Killing someone with a needle, a loose-lipped victim, a revenge motive… Kaito really was just too wonderful for words.
Shuichi left the school premises on a high. His head was fuzzy as he squeezed through a broken fence far away from the school’s entrance. He couldn’t have any of the staff see him so deep within the school grounds. After all, he didn’t go to school here, but down the road, a mere five minute walk from the broken fence and Shuichi’s secret backdoor to his crush’s hangout. Normally, Shuichi wouldn’t worry too much about being spotted, but he was wearing his own school uniform this time. The one he usually wore needed to be washed, it was worn so often. He’d stolen it from the boys locker room last month during lunch. Shuichi could just steal another uniform, but that last venture required extensive planning, research on how to pick locks, and convincing his mother that he needed to stay home “sick”.
Luckily, Shuichi left the school undetected and went on his usual route home. These walks home were always so full of longing and pining that they left him exhausted. He began to fill his mind with delightful scenarios to make up for the dull and disappointing reality that was his life. He thought of running into Kaito at the supermarket, or better yet, a Danganronpa merch store. He could casually ask him what his favorite season was, or where he thinks the next season’s setting will be, just to start a conversation. Oh, just a casual conversation would be so nice, wouldn’t it? Anything at all would be nice, but Kaito was always around people, so he and Shuichi could never be alone. The only time that had happened was the first time Shuichi saw him, and it never happened again. They don’t even go to the same school, so miracles like that were rare, too rare. In fact, it’ll probably never happen again, the thought of which sending Shuichi into a sweet, slight despair. It distracted him so much that he didn’t notice figures coming from around the corner with duct tape in the hands. He was so, so deep in bittersweet daydreams that he also didn’t notice the white van silently rolling up just behind him. And, before he knew it, he’d been grabbed and stuffed into that van, shouting and flailing helplessly as passerby either watched nervously or ignored the scene completely.
Perhaps, if Shuichi hadn’t spent so much time immersed in his own perfect world, he could have improved his reality, but no matter. It was too late for that now, and he was quite convinced that his kidnappers, who had covered his nose with a strong-smelling cloth, were going to kill him. Briefly, so very briefly, he wished that Kaito would come and save him, but that never happened, and it never will. Maybe the two could meet again, perhaps, in another life.
For the first time in months, Shuichi’s mind went blank, and he easily slipped into a deep, dreamless sleep.