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It was as normal a day as any for Choi Soobin, the college junior hopped out of bed, as graciously as he could, quickly got dressed and grabbed a banana for the walk to campus as he met up with his best friend Choi Yeonjun.
Said best friend was waiting for him at the entrance to his dorm, he was always the more punctual one of the two. The older shot Soobin a smile which he returned, before the duo made their way to their respective classes.
Even though the two of them were probably the most opposite you could be, they always had a strong bond. Yeonjun being the more extroverted and easy going one, whereas Soobin was the introverted one. He wouldn’t call himself shy, it’s just that he doesn’t really click with people easily, that being said he was lucky he had Yeonjun, otherwise he probably had to go through college friendless.
The two of them quickly fell into a conversation, Yeonjun nagging the younger that he should have a proper breakfast, as Soobin hastily munched away on his banana. “I will hyung don’t worry, you know how late I wake up.” The younger pouted, which always worked on Yeonjun, the older quickly squishing his cheeks and cooing about how cute he was.
Their conversation ended as they arrived at their college campus, Yeonjun waving goodbye as the dance major made his way to the Arts department of their college building. Soobin always admired the older for still managing to dance so graciously even though he wasn’t much shorter than Soobin himself.
The younger waved back before heading off to his first class. He liked being a literature major, he loved reading, but the 8 a.m lectures about the history of poetry really weren’t necessary if you asked him.
He was making his way over to the entrance of the building when he saw a boy standing outside of the door, visibly confused. The boy was shorter than he was, height was always something Soobin focused on first, and had curly black hair. He was wearing a yellow flannel with jeans and sneakers, and seemed to be very lost.
Soobin hesitated, he couldn’t just walk past him as if he did not see him struggling with what seemed to be his schedule for 5 minutes. So he took a breath, put on his most friendly smile, and stepped towards the boy.
“Hi! I saw you struggling with your schedule so I wondered if you needed any help?” Soobin said, seeing the boy up close he could now tell the boy was shorter than he was, and his hair looked very soft, falling in waves over his forehead.
“A-ah yeah….I’m a freshman and I really don’t know where I’m supposed to be.” The boy chuckled, finding the situation seemingly amusing. Soobin glanced over at his schedule, trying to get a glimpse of what his major was.
“Ah!” Soobin exclaimed, startling the boy, “Sorry, I saw you’re a music major?” The boy nodded.
“That would explain it, the Arts department is on the other side of the campus square.” Soobin pointed at the building, but the younger didn’t follow his finger, simply letting out a small ‘ahh’ as he scratched his neck.
Soobin dropped his finger, the boy obviously didn’t have a clue where he was supposed to be, and Soobin wouldn’t be Soobin if he left the younger standing here on his own. So he shifted on his legs, biting his lip as he was sure he was going to miss the beginning of his lecture now.
“Do you want me to walk you there? It’s quite far.” Soobin said.
“Really? I don’t want to bother you, but I do think I’ll get lost without your help.” The boy chuckled again, moving parts of his bangs out of his face.
“Yeah it’s fine! Let’s go.” Soobin said, really not wanting to miss any more of his lecture than he had to.
As they began walking, he noticed that the boy had a small grip on his sweater. He wasn’t tugging him, it was more of ‘so I won’t lose you’, which was weird, because the campus square was practically deserted.
“I’m Soobin by the way, Choi Soobin.” He realized he hadn’t even introduced himself.
The younger grinned, looking up at him,
“I’m Beomgyu, Choi Beomgyu.”
-
They made it to Beomgyu’s class in time, students already rushing in to take their seats. Beomgyu turned to look at Soobin, still holding on to his sweater.
“Thank you for walking with me, Soobin hyung.” The younger said, his voice soft
Soobin’s breath hitched, he wasn’t called hyung often, his only friend being Yeonjun who was older than him, called him hyung sometimes to annoy him, but nobody ever said it because it was true.
Soobin was about to reply, when a woman who he assumed was the professor stood beside him. “You must be Beomgyu!” She said, sporting a friendly smile.
Beomgyu nodded, to which the woman replied, “Did you find your way here all right? The building can be quite confusing sometimes.”
Beomgyu smiled, “Yes, Soobin hyung helped me find it.” He said, moving a bit closer to Soobin.
“That’s wonderful to hear, thank you Soobin-ah.” The professor said, before ushering Beomgyu inside to take a seat.
Once the younger was far away enough, the professor turned to him again, whispering slightly, “Thank you again for helping Beomgyu, it must’ve been hard finding his way around. I told him he could take his cane to school and it wouldn’t be a problem, but he insisted he was fine without it.”
As the professor rambled on, it clicked in Soobin’s mind. He looked at the younger, who was feeling his way around the seat, obviously trying to get familiar with it. He thought back at how Beomgyu didn’t follow his finger when he pointed, and how the younger always seemed to look slightly to the left when he looked up at Soobin.
Beomgyu was blind.
-
He had arrived at his own lecture 15 minutes too late, but him being Soobin he was able to charm his way into the lecture. He couldn’t stop thinking about how he didn’t notice that Beomgyu was blind, but the younger really didn’t look like he was .
He continued following one more class after his 8 a.m lecture, and after that he had a scheduled lunch break. Yeonjun and him always made sure to schedule their lunch breaks at the same time, so they could catch up throughout the day.
The blue haired boy, courtesy of Yeonjun, who insisted that they dyed their hair together, quickly packed up his stuff and made his way to the spot they usually ate their lunch at, it was in the middle of the campus square, right underneath a big oak tree that was apparently just as old as the campus itself.
He found that the older was already sitting there, scrolling away on his phone. He quickened his step and flopped next to the older, his long legs deserving a break. The older chuckled, before ruffling the other’s hair, “Aww Soobinnie, did you have a hard time?” He cooed again, speaking in that ridiculous baby voice he always did.
Soobin shoved his hand away, before getting out his lunch, the older doing the same. They played around, stealing each other’s food and talking about their classes. Soobin was listening to Yeonjun, who was talking about a freshman in his dance class who kept messing up the choreo, but Soobin could see the fond smile on his face as he talked.
His gaze shifted to behind the older however, when he saw a familiar mop of black hair come out of the Arts department. He almost lifted his hand up to wave, before mentally slapping himself.
The younger made his way over to the square, and was probably going to pass by them. For whatever reason, Soobin was just itching to talk to the boy again though, so he probably did the most un-Soobin thing ever.
“Hey Beomgyu-ah!” He semi yelled, his voice didn’t really pack a punch so it was more him just talking really loud. The younger jumped, turning to the sound of Soobin’s voice.
“Soobin hyung?” He asked tentatively, as if he wasn’t really sure it was him.
Soobin stood up, leaving Yeonjun who protested at him interrupting his story, before heading over to the younger boy.
“Yeah it’s me.” he said, “Did your class go well?” This really wasn’t a Soobin thing to do, but he felt compelled to ask the younger, eager to see the smile on his face again.
And he did, the younger smiled brightly before turning his head up to him, “Yeah it went well hyung! It was fun~” He said, bouncing back and forth on his feet.
“Do you…..do you have class right now?” Soobin asked, biting his lip again, something he always did when he was nervous- wait, why was he nervous?
“Nope.” The younger said, popping the p.
Soobin looked over at Yeonjun, who was watching the interaction with confused eyes, before turning back to Beomgyu, “Do you want to eat lunch with me? With us I mean, my friend is here too, but he’s nice I promise!”
Yeonjun laughed at that, and Beomgyu turned to the sound of his laughter. He seemed hesitant for a moment before nodding, to which Soobin beamed. The younger grabbed onto his sweater almost immediately again, and Soobin smiled at the hands around his sleeve.
They sat down, Soobin foregoing his spot next to Yeonjun, deciding to sit opposite him, next to Beomgyu.
“Hi! I’m Choi Yeonjun, Soobinnie’s best friend!” The older said, voice as hyper as ever. He held out a hand, which Soobin quickly slapped away. Yeonjun looked at him offended, but Soobin turned to Beomgyu instead.
“Hi, I’m Choi Beomgyu, uhm, Soobin hyung helped me find my class this morning.” The younger explained, voice a stark contrast to the pink haired boy sitting opposite from him.
“Ayee, that’s Soobin for you, always needing to help people.” Yeonjun said, to which Soobin’s face reddened.
“Ah well I’m glad, I probably wouldn’t have been able to find my way without him.”
Soobin’s face reddened even more at that, and he was glad Beomyu wasn’t able to see it.
“Ah why? I don’t think the campus is that big?” Yeonjun asked nonchalantly, popping a grape in his mouth.
“Well….I’m blind.” Beomgyu deadpanned.
The tension was palpable at the table, Yeonjun’s face quickly morphed into one of shock, and Soobin wanted to kick him. Beomgyu however, laughed, and he laughed loudly, hands coming together to clap excitedly.
“Oh my gosh, I wish I could see your faces right now, it must be hilarious. Sorry, I say it so often I don’t even think about how it sounds anymore.” He said, coming down from his laughter.
Yeonjun quickly shook his hands, “No no oh my gosh I’m sorry for being so blunt I really...I really didn’t notice wow.”
“It’s okay hyung, you learn how to deal with it, especially if you’ve been blind for almost half your life.” Beomgyu said, quickly eating his lunch.
Soobin wanted to ask more, but before he knew it lunch break was over and he had to go to his next class. He stood up, the other two following his movements, “I have to get to class, I’ll talk to you later hyung, I’ll see you around Beomgyu-ah!”
He was going to walk away, but he felt a tug on his sweater, and soon found out that it was Beomgyu, looking up at him with big eyes. He handed the older a note, which had his number on it, “For when I get lost again and need your help.” Beomgyu grinned up at him and Soobin swore his heart did a backflip.
-
Beomgyu quickly became friends with the two boys, they ate together almost every lunch break they had, and the youngest seemed to fit well in the dynamic the older two had.
Soobin had also been texting the younger a lot, and they would often talk until midnight, until the younger got too tired to speak into the microphone. Tonight was one of those nights, he could feel the younger getting sleepy through the phone, his replies not coming as fast anymore.
The text bubble kept appearing and disappearing, and Soobin wondered if the younger had fallen asleep already, that was until a speech bubble popped up and Soobin clicked on it eagerly, Beomgyu’s voice coming through his speakers, “Do you mind if I call you hyung?”
Soobin smiled, he could hear the drowsiness in the younger’s voice, but sent out a “Of course Gyu.” anyways. A couple of moments later the screen lit up, caller id ‘Beommie <3’ took up the screen. The younger had called himself that, after finding out Soobin had him listed as Choi Beomgyu, which was unacceptable for the black haired boy.
He picked up, and breathed out, “Hey, Beomgyu-ah.”
The younger giggled, and Soobin wished they were facetiming right now, as he knew the younger was doing that nose scrunch Soobin found adorable. “Hey hyung.”
“Why did you want to call all of a sudden?” Soobin asked.
“I was gonna fall asleep, and I didn’t want to.” Soobin could hear the pout in his voice.
“And besides, I wanted to talk to you more.”
Soobin’s breath hitched, Beomgyu’s voice sounded so sincere, it made Soobin’s gut twist.
“A-Ah well, you’re hearing it now, what do you want me to say?” Soobin chuckled, flustered.
It was quiet for a bit, and Soobin almost thought the older fell asleep, when a soft voice spoke, “Could you…..sing for me hyung?”
Soobin spluttered at that, “Sing?!” he all but shrieked at the speaker, “I can’t sing Gyu.” He trailed off, biting his lip again.
“Doesn’t matter hyung, just want to hear your voice.”
Now, the younger had to stop saying things like that, because he was sure his heart was going to beat out of his chest. “O-okay, I’ll try.” He said, scratching his throat.
He began singing, a soft tune that his mother always sang to him when he was younger. He didn’t know why that came to mind first, but he didn’t question it.
He finished the tune, and he was sure it sounded awful when he didn’t get a response from Beomgyu so he asked, “Gyu? Beomgyu-ah?”
When he didn’t get a response again, he smiled, the younger must have fallen asleep. “Goodnight Gyu-ah, sleep well.” He said, before ending the call.
He put his phone on the bedside table, before turning off the lights. He wasn’t sure if it was the new heater he’d installed the week before, but he went to sleep feeling warmer than usual.
-
Soobin was getting ready for class a couple of days later, sending his usual good morning text to Beomgyu. He didn’t know how the younger did it, using a screen reader on his phone, but he was glad he didn’t have to send voice memos every time, he really didn’t want Beomgyu to notice how flustered he made him.
He didn’t get anything back however, but Soobin thought the younger must be in class, his own starting at 11 a.m this time. He walked to campus alone, none of his friends shared his 11 a.m lecture luck, so he was trudging to school alone.
He attended his lecture, but he kept focusing on his phone. It was odd that Beomgyu hadn’t responded yet, usually he would get a goodmorning back, accompanied with a sling of emoji’s, but today it was silent.
He didn’t know if he had to worry or not, surely nothing could have happened right? He anxiously fidgeted the whole lecture, and practically dove out of his seat once it was finished. He quickly checked the time, it was 12:30 p.m, he had a small break in between lectures so he opted to speed walk to the Arts department.
He passed by the dance rooms on the way to the music rooms, where he spotted a mop of pink hair through the window. He opened the door hastily, when a couple of eyes fell on him. “Yah, what are you doing?” Yeonjun said, walking towards the younger.
“Hyung, have you heard from Beomgyu at all today?” He said, voice rushed. Yeonjun tried calming him down, putting his hands on his shoulders, “No? I figured you two were together and didn’t want me to disturb you.” He chuckled, but the smile quickly dropped when he saw Soobin’s face pale.
Soobin didn’t spare him an explanation, he ran out as quickly as he could, looking into every music room he came across. He was about to pull his hair out, when a familiar mop of hair came into his vision. Beomgyu was sitting in one of the music rooms, hunched over a sheet of paper, guitar on his lap.
Soobin breathed out as a sign of relief, and quietly went into the room. “Hey, Beomgyu-ah.” He tried to speak as quietly as he could, but he still managed to startle the younger.
Beomgyu whipped his head up, clearly not expecting anyone, when Soobin noticed the tear streaks on the younger's face. He quickly pulled up a chair and sat next to the younger, trying to wipe away the tears on his face. “Hey Gyu, what’s going on?”
Beomgyu moved away from Soobin’s hands, face moving down. The older quietly dropped his hands to his lap. When it looked like Beomgyu wasn’t going to say anything he tried again, “Beomgyu are you alright? Are you hurt?”
The black haired boy turned around at that, face hard even though the tear streaks were still apparent on his face. “I’m fine hyung ,” he spat out, “Can you stop trying to baby me for once?”
Soobin was shocked, the younger had never talked with that much malice in his voice before, and definitely not directed at Soobin. “I...I-” He was at a loss for words, but it seemed like Beomgyu wasn’t.
“It’s always ‘Beomgyu-ah ‘Gyu-ah’, I can take care of myself just fine you know? I don’t need you to hold my hand every day!” The younger raised his voice, and Soobin could see him crumpling up the piece of paper. He could faintly make out the music notes, but he knew they weren’t what they were supposed to look like.
“Gyu-,” He quickly caught himself, “Beomgyu, I’m just- I’m just trying to help?” He asked, confused where this came from all of a sudden.
“Yeah and I don’t need it, I don’t need you.”
It seemed his words dawned on him, as Beomgyu’s face softened, sputtering out words. But it was already too late for Soobin’s heart, which felt like it had been trampled on. The older swallowed, before standing up, his chair making a screeching sound with the movement.
Beomgyu followed the sound, head moving up and eyes watering again. “Uhm...if that’s how you feel then...I guess I’ll go.” Soobin fought the tears that were threatening to spill, not wanting Beomgyu to hear his voice break.
“Hyung…” Beomgyu whimpered, reaching out to grasp at the older’s cardigan. It stopped Soobin in his tracks momentarily, before removing the younger’s hand, noting how soft and small his fingers were in comparison to his.
“No it’s okay Beomgyu, I think you made your point.” Soobin said, moving to get his backpack, and quietly headed out of the room.
Beomgyu was left alone, and the tears flowed freely. His hand hovered over the piece of paper, before balling it up and throwing it away. He dropped his head on the desk, sobs racking through his body.
-
Soobin still had another class to go to, but it didn’t feel like he heard a single thing the professor said, Beomgyu’s words ringing in his head.
‘ I don’t need you.’
That hurt the most, Yeonjun always told him he was clingy, but the older didn’t seem to mind, so was it his fault for assuming Beomgyu would be the same? His mind was running into overdrive, he didn’t even realize his lecture had ended already.
He hastily packed up his stuff, before meeting Yeonjun out at the entrance. He tried looking as normal as possible, but he knew the older saw right through him anyways. Which was looking to be true, as the pink haired boy’s expression dropped once he saw Soobin.
He quickly embraced him, patting him on the back soothingly as he asked what was wrong. Soobin hated questions like that, as it only made him cry harder, which he did. The older shushed him softly, before the two of them walked to Soobin’s dorm.
Once they were there, Soobin explained to the older. He told him how Beomgyu had snapped once he found him, and how he told him he didn’t need Soobin, the memory of the black haired boy saying it coming back to mind, making him sob more.
Yeonjun consoled him, assuring him he loved his clinginess, and if Beomgyu didn’t, that was his loss. “Besides, who is he to make Choi Soobin cry, hm?” The older said, ruffling his blue hair. Soobin chuckled at that, wiping away his tears. He must look so gross right now .
“You okay?” Yeonjun asked, to which Soobin nodded.
“Yeah hyung, I’ll be fine. Thank you for coming though, I know you’re busy.” Soobin hiccups, he felt bad for making the senior stay.
“No worries Soobin-ah, just relax for today okay? And call me if you need anything!” Yeonjun yelled as he stumbled putting his shoes on.
Soobin yelled out that he would, before he heard the door close. He sighed, heading over to take a shower to clear his head. The heat of the water felt nice on his skin, and he was sure he stood under the shower head for too long, feeling his skin redden.
He turned the shower off, before drying off and changing into his pajamas. He figured he’d watch his favorite drama, ignoring his school work for one night wouldn’t hurt right?
He was midway through his second episode when he heard a knock on his door. He looked around, wondering if Yeonjun left anything, but he couldn’t find anything. He begrudgingly headed to the door, opening it a tiny bit, ready to tell Yeonjun off.
But his eyes widened as it wasn’t Yeonjun, but Beomgyu standing in front of his door. He was wearing a purple sweater, which seemed to be way too big on his small frame, but what surprised Soobin the most was the cane he was holding. He never took his cane to college, even when he would bump into things.
“Hyung?” Beomgyu whispered, checking if Soobin was still there.
“Yeah?” Soobin whispered back.
“Can I...can I come in? I just want to talk hyung.” The younger pleaded.
Soobin hesitated, before opening the door a bit more, “Yeah I guess…”
Beomgyu made his way inside, seemingly awkward with the cane in his hands. He stood in the middle of the room, and Soobin was sure he didn’t know where to go. So Soobin gently guided him to the couch, immediately retracting his hands once the younger was in front of it, not wanting to bother him again.
Beomgyu must’ve felt the older’s shift in meaning as his face visibly fell. He sat down on the couch, folding his cane before putting it beside him. Soobin said down as well, and if Beomgyu could feel the older sitting on the far end, he didn’t say anything of it.
“Hyung I’m sorry, I-I didn’t mean the things I said, not at all I was just….I was just frustrated with myself and took it out on you, which I shouldn’t have.” Beomgyu said, fiddling with his hands.
Soobin didn’t speak, waiting for the younger to continue. Beomgyu sighed, “I just- I have to do a written composition piece for one of my classes and well I thought I could do it, since I could still remember what the music notes looked like I just...I couldn’t write them down, and I was so frustrated.” The younger's voice was breaking, and Soobin itched to hold him close.
“I’m sorry hyung, really. What I said didn’t make any sense because I...I like it when you help me, and I-,” Beomgyu took a breath, face getting redder by the second, “And I do need you hyung, more than you know.”
Soobin’s breath stilled, the younger sounded just as sincere as he did over the phone call a week ago, and it still twisted his gut, although he could now place the feeling as pure adoration for the younger.
Seeing him sitting here, face all red, purple sweater hanging off his frame loosely even though he wasn’t short by any means, he just looked tiny to Soobin.
Soobin hesitantly lifted his hand, wanting nothing more than to touch the younger. He carefully placed his hand on Beomgyu’s cheek, who leaned into the touch, making Soobin smile. “It’s okay Beomgyu.” Soobin said, softly stroking the other boy’s cheek.
Beomgyu whimpered again, placing his own hand on Soobin’s bigger one. “Please call me Gyu again hyung...I really like it when you call me that.” Beomgyu breathed out, voice barely above a whisper.
Soobin chuckled, “Okay, Gyu-ah.”
Beomgyu opened his eyes again, and the younger just looked so beautiful, even when he had been crying, that Soobin couldn’t help but lean closer. He carefully placed his other hand on Beomgyu’s knee, to signal that he was closer than before. Beomgyu’s eyes were open wide, hand still on top of Soobin’s.
“Beomgyu-ah…..can I…..can I kiss you?” He asked, voice wavering slightly.
Beomgyu gulped, before nodding. Soobin leaned in carefully, as if Beomgyu was going to break any minute, his lips hovered over Beomgyu’s, wanting to be sure the younger wanted this. He got his answer when Beomgyu closed the gap himself, pressing his lips against Soobin’s own.
The kiss was soft, just like Beomgyu. Soobin had his hand on the younger’s cheek still, the other coming to rest at the nape of his neck. Beomgyu had his hands fisted at the older’s side, grasping onto his pajama top. Soobin smiled into the kiss, finding the way Beomgyu was still holding onto him adorable.
They broke apart, the both of them gasping for breath. Soobin smiled again, seeing Beomgyu’s flushed face and kiss swollen lips, he thought the younger looked stunning.
“I-I….I really like you, hyung.” Beomgyu said, biting his lips.
“Well, I’d hope so after that.” Soobin joked, finding joy in the way Beomgyu’s face flushed even more. “I really like you too, Gyu-ah.”
“Can we...can we do that again hyung?” Beomgyu asked timidly, and Soobin had to be crazy if he was going to say no.
So he kissed the younger again, softly pushing him back until he was laying on the couch. He quickly stopped however, when he heard the older whimper against his mouth, “Why what’s wrong?” Soobin quickly sat up, pulling the younger with him, who practically fell into his lap.
“I fell on my cane.” Beomgyu pouted, and Soobin had forgotten about the cane that was lying on the other side of the couch.
The older chuckled, “Why do you never bring the cane to classes? You’re always bumping into stuff.” He said, softly rubbing up and down the younger’s side.
Beomgyu smiled, and it was so bright Soobin didn’t mind seeing that for the rest of his life. The younger grasped at his top again before saying, “I don’t need it when I have you right hyung?”
And he was right.