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Prophylactic Use in Survival Situations

Summary:

Following Aeris's instructions Cloud helped lean the branches together and cover them with a sufficient layer of foliage to offer somewhere dry to wait the rain out. Not the best shelter but workable in the situation. A distant roll of thunder sounded as Aeris took stock of her personal supplies. "Matches, notebook, water purification tablets, condoms-"

"Condoms?" Cloud spluttered and stared at her in confusion.

Aeris met his gaze for a long moment. "Yes. Condoms." Cloud's face reddened. "Always a good idea to have them to hand."

Cloud coughed. "Well, yeah. Obviously."

"For more than that." Aeris resisted the urge to roll her eyes as Cloud squirmed. "Practical demonstration then? Before the rain starts?" She separated out the first foil packet and peeled it open. "We're going to use this one for water storage."


Cloud and Aeris get separated from the party.

Notes:

Written for the prompt 'water balloons'.

Work Text:

What should have been nothing more than a brief detour down an interesting looking forest path seemed to have instead gotten Cloud and Aeris lost. Well, not so much lost as detached from their companions. Aeris's PHS showed no bars of reception, and no amount of shouting by either her or Cloud got any kind of response from the rest of Avalanche.

At least it was not hard to figure where the two of them had gone wrong - the suspect fork in the road was easy to locate. Working out how far behind the pair of them were was that much harder. Sooner or later the others would notice they were missing, turn back and look for them. For now-

"I don't like the look of that," Aeris said. Heavy, dark clouds had been drawing closer for the last half hour and promised a deluge in the near future. "We should sort out some kind of shelter." Improvised of course; neither had tent duty today; all Aeris and Cloud had with them were their own bags. Better than nothing, but they offered little protection against an imminent rain storm.

"Yeah. Good plan." Cloud nodded and cast around. "No caves or anything I can see though."

"Not a problem." Aeris darted into the tree line and gathered some fallen branches. "I read all about this." When the exterior of Midgar was inaccessible she experienced it second hand. The next best thing to seeing the world had been to read about it as much as possible; that included pouring over any number of guides on how to survive in the wilderness with almost nothing.

Following her instructions Cloud helped lean the branches together and cover them with a sufficient layer of foliage to offer somewhere dry to wait the rain out. Not the best shelter but workable in the situation. A distant roll of thunder sounded as Aeris took stock of her personal supplies. "Matches, notebook, water purification tablets, condoms-"

"Condoms?" Cloud spluttered and stared at her in confusion.

Aeris met his gaze for a long moment. "Yes. Condoms." Cloud's face reddened. "Always a good idea to have them to hand."

Cloud coughed. "Well, yeah. Obviously."

"For more than that." Aeris resisted the urge to roll her eyes as Cloud squirmed. "Practical demonstration then? Before the rain starts?" She separated out the first foil packet and peeled it open. "We're going to use this one for water storage."

"Water?" He looked baffled.

"I didn't have either of the canteens in my bag. Did you?" Cloud shook his head. "Didn't think so. Come on; the river isn't far. Lets get some drinking water in this." She held up the prophalyactic.

"Can you really do that?" Cloud stared at the condom in her hand.

"Sure. Condoms are really durable, but-" Aeris paused and unlaced her boot. It would not be comfortable walking without a sock, but keeping the condom intact was more important.

Cloud scrambled to his feet as she ducked out of the shelter and headed for the nearby stream. A quick scavenge for a stick and she was all set. It was not as if they would remain lost for long, but again: preparation was important and so was drinkable water. "I'm using the sock for protection." She smiled. "I know; seems absurd, but it's easy to puncture one of these."

"Wouldn't know..."

Aeris knelt by the stream and unfurled the condom over her fingers, sliding it up and off each time until it was fully extended. "Now; watch." She dipped the condom into the water and let the stream's flow fill it. The resulting container was heavier than expected but she could cope. Aeris pulled the filled condom onto her lap and tied the end with the stick. Now the fun part; wrestling the squishy, awkward shape into her sock. "I'll put one of the purification tablets in when we get back. And then - tada! Drinking water."

Cloud made a face. "Not sure I want to drink from that."

"Don't be squeamish." Aeris prodded his shoulder. "It's not like it's been used. And-" She fumbled the packet from her pocket and smiled. "Thought so. This one's strawberry flavoured. Is that better?"

"A little." His fiddled with his bracer. "It is better than dying of thirst I guess."

"Obviously. Now we're pretty much set." They hurried back to the shelter, Aeris clutching the makshift canteen to her side. "Worst comes to worst, as long as we have condoms, we'll be fine."

"Really?"

"Guess SOLDIER never went in for survival stuff?" Odd that the military organisation had no training for when their operatives wound up in the wilderness with no supplies. Then again official published articles were all she had to go on; a lot of detail regarding SOLDIER remained a deeply guarded secret. Even Zack had been cagey regarding what he did in anything more than vague general terms.

He shook his head. "Not like this anyway. Never had to rough it either-" He frowned. "No, we did some times... I think? When did-" Cloud shook himself. "Anyway." He coughed. "You, er, said we'd be fine?"

"Huh?" Aeris blinked at him.

"If we had them-" Cloud gestured at her improvised container. "-we'd be fine? Like we really can use them for other stuff?"

"Lots of things. Fortunately we have matches, but if we didn't-" She hefted the condom again.

"You can use them to start fires?" Aeris nodded; possibly not how he expected but definitely possible. "I'm impressed."

Aeris grinned. "Also usable as fire starters as well. And making sling-shots if we need to hunt anything - hope it doesn't come to that today though. Great for first aid; they're perfect as a sterile dressing. If it gets cold-" She smirked in the humid air. "-not here obviously. But they can keep your head warm in a pinch. If we need to cross water we can inflate them for floats."

Another roll of thunder - much closer this time and the first drops of rain began to fall. Aeris walked faster. "We could use them to tie stuff together when packing. If we need to fish we can make fish bobbers with them. Stuff them with moss and other soft things and we can make pillows..." She ducked into the shelter, Cloud a step behind her. A moment later the heavens opened and the landscape blurred beyond a curtain of rain.

"Just in time." Cloud breathed a sigh of relief.

Aeris gently undid the knot in the end of the water-filled condom and pushed a purification tablet inside. Water sorted. And now; how to best pass the time until the rain stopped? Ah. She laid the filled condom to one side and retrieved another foil from her bag.

"There's still a few more uses. If you're interested?" Cloud nodded. Aeris pushed at his chest; after a moment he caught on and lay back; Aeris swung her leg over him and settled onto his hips. "Now for these usages I was considering a very-" She smirked at him. "-hands on, practical demonstration." Aeris held up the unused condom as Cloud's lips curled into a grin. "Shall I continue?" His body responded for him and she wriggled on top of him. "I think I'll take that as a yes."

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