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It was the first day of October and Seonghwa sat in his and Joongs room, alone. Hongjoong was again in the studio even though it was already after 11pm. It was nothing new to the silver haired boy but still he would love to spend the evening talking to his friend about their days and about their plans for the next one. But this happens on rare occasions.
Usually Seonghwa was already asleep as soon as Hongjoong entered the room or he wouldn’t even leave the studio until the next day.
With a last sight the silver haired turned off the lights and tried to get some sleep.
He was half asleep as he heard the door being opened, but Seonghwa was too tired to turn around and greet his roommate, so he just waited until he was sure Hongjoong laid in bed. “Goodnight Joongie”, he whispered. “Sleep well Hwa. I am sorry I am late again”, was the answer and a few minutes later Seonghwa could hear the small snores from Hongjoong filling the silence.
Seonghwa couldn’t be mad at him for being late again, he knew how hardworking Hongjoong is and how he always wants to make everything perfect.
He knew that Hongjoong was sometimes overworking himself and that’s why he started to take care of his leader.
While Hongjoong takes care of his members, Seonghwa would take care of Hongjoong. And Seonghwa knew that Hongjoong was grateful for that. That’s why he wrote Thank U.
At this moment Seonghwa had an Idea. The urge to get up and start to work on his idea was strong but his body was too tired and he just knew that he should get some sleep.
The next day Seonghwa was the first to get up, which was not too unusual because they often had different schedules and as always before he left the dorm the oldest left a little note for Hongjoong, wishing him a nice day.
Fortunately Seinghwa didn’t have a lot to do today and that's why he was done with his official schedule pretty quick. Usually on days like this the silver haired would just go back to the dorm to eat dinner with whoever was home too or visit one of his members and join their practice or just keep them company. But today he wanted to work on his plan and that’s why he unlocked his phone and went through his contacts until he found the person he wanted to call. The phone didn’t even ring twice. “Hello Hwa?”, the person on the other side of the line asked. “Oh hey, yes I know that today is your day off but can we eat lunch together? I need your help with something”, Seonghwa explained. “Oh yes of course. Text me when and where” And with that they ended the call. Seonghwa texted location and time and packed up his things.
I wish you the sunniest day with a lot of reasons to smile. :) The first smile of the day instantly was formed in Hongjoongs face as soon as he read the message Seonghwa left him. He folded the little paper and put it into the pocket of his jeans.
Still smiling the blue haired left the dorm making his way to his studio. His official schedule would start in around three hours until then he would stay in the studio and hopefully he could finish the project he started a few days ago.
As soon as he arrived he took out the note, again he read the sweet words his friend wrote for him. He wrote down the date and after that he put it into the jar that stood on his desk.
It was already filled with other little folded notes, all written by Seonghwa. Out of nowhere Seonghwa had started to leave him these little notes. At first Hongjoong thought he just wrote them after Seonghwa saw that he had a bad day but soon he received these messages daily and that’s why he started to collect them. Sometimes when he was really stressed or just didn’t feel good he would open the jar and take out a random note to read it again. The date on the back would remind him of the day he had received it and if it was a special date he would remember what happened that day and just feel better.
But for now he didn’t feel the need to read another message. He was still smiling and now motivated to work on this project so he could be ready for his schedule later.
Hours went by and every now and then Hongjoong checked his phone. He was waiting for the daily text of Seonghwa who would remind him to eat enough and stay hydrated. And also for the message that he should be home earlier today and to not overwork himself again. With a frown he put back his phone. He’s probably very busy today. After he didn’t receive a text even though it was already after lunch time Hongjoong decided to send a text instead. “Don’t forget to take a break. See you at the dorm”
It was weird for Seonghwa to not read Hongjoongs messages immediately and for some reasons Hongjoong started to worry. He was about to call Seonghwa but he was interrupted by his manager who needed to talk to him.
More hours went by without an answer from Seonghwa, Hongjoong already tried to call him twice but he hadn’t picked up the phone. Confused and now very concerned he called the first member that came to his mind. “Hyung did something happen?”, the person immediately asked. “Ah San...well no. I just wanted to ask if you have talked to Seonghwa today”, Hongjoong asked, he now felt stupid. Seonghwa doesn't have to answer Hongjoong within seconds. He was probably working and maybe turned off his phone to not get disturbed. Hongjoong was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t understand what San was saying. “Hyung? Are you listening?”, San asked and forced Hongjoong to get out of his thoughts. “Oh sorry San. I just thought that my question was kinda stupid so-”, he started but San interrupted him. “No Hyung it’s not stupid. You are worried. I know you always talk to each other during the day just to check if the other is doing okay. It’s normal that you are worried now. But I have to tell you that I haven’t talked to Seonghwa today. We didn’t have any schedule together.” A sight left Hongjoongs mouth. “Alright thank you Sanie. See you later. I’ll try to be home early today”, Hongjoong said. “See you Hyung. Don’t worry too much”
The whole day was now over and for the first time in weeks Hongjoong made it home before 10 pm, he already had eaten dinner at his studio and because it seemed that the other members were either asleep or in their rooms Hongjoong went to his and Seonghwas room. The room was dark and at first Hongjoong thought Seonghwa was already asleep but as soon as his eyes got used to the spare lights of the lanterns outside he saw that the bed of his roommate was still made. Seonghwa still hasn’t come back. Or he was in one of the other members' rooms. Hongjoong went to the bathroom to take a quick shower and changed into something more comfortable.
He walked out of his room, the muffled sounds of Yunhos and Sans voice came out of their room. The other rooms were quiet, so Hongjoong decided to knock at the door in front of him. “Come in”, Yunho answered and Hongjoong opened the door to take a look inside the room. He saw San and Yunho sitting on the floor both with a controller in their hands while playing. “Oh Joongie it’s you. Wow is it already that late?”, Yunho looked up from their game and showed Hongjoong one of his biggest smiles. The smile quickly dropped as Yunho saw Hongjoongs disappointed face. “Joongie is everything okay?”, he asked but Hongjoong just shook his head. “N-No everything is fine don’t worry. I was just checking on you. I wanted to show you that I am home a little earlier today”, Hongjoong faked a smile and left the room.
This weird behavior of Seonghwa continued. Days and weeks passed by and Hongjoong hadn’t seen his roommate for more than at some of their group schedules. It has already been over a month now.
Every time he tried to ask Seonghwa why he was gone all the time they got interrupted by something. The only thing that stayed the same was the little note Hongjoong received every morning.
It was now November one day before his birthday and again he sat in his studio. Today he had put the little note onto his laptop screen. Whenever he took a little break he just looked at it and wondered about the weird behavior of his friend. “Just keep it up, don’t overwork yourself. It’s your birthday tomorrow”
Was that how Seonghwa felt all the time? Hongjoong was the one who usually came home way too late. He usually was the reason why they didn’t talk for days. But Seonghwa always looked out for him or tried to talk to him. Maybe he got annoyed and doesn't want to stay up just for him anymore. Hongjoong leaned back in his chair and thought about all the things Seonghwa had done in the past years.
Whenever he didn’t feel good Seonghwa made sure to send someone with soup and tea or even bring it to him if his schedule allowed it. Seonghwa always asked about his days, his projects and just everything. He was always listening to all of his concerns. While Hongjoong was the leader of the group and the one who took all the blame whenever something happened, Seonghwa made sure to take care about him.
He is probably sick of me now. I never said thank you.
The light of his phone screen made Hongjoong look away from the little note. He leaned forward to grab his phone. “Can you come home?”
He didn’t think twice about his unfinished project. Hongjoong quickly packed all his belongings and made his way back to the dorm.
It was already past Midnight when he opened the door, everything was quiet and all the lights were off.
Hongjoong was confused but didn’t really care about this right now. He just wanted to see him and apologise for everything. He truly believed that Seonghwa was just mad at him and that he acted so distant because he wanted to show him how it feels.
Seonghwa heard the door and with every second he got more and more nervous. His hands were shaking and he just couldn’t sit still. What if he doesn’t like it? The footsteps from the hall made him jump up from his bed. As soon as the door opened and as soon as he saw his friend entering the room he wanted to start with the little speech he prepared. But he was stopped by two arms being wrapped around his neck and a warm body pressed against his. “I am so so sorry. I made you feel miserable and lonely all the time and I can understand now why you tried to avoid me”, Hongjoong spoke. And Seonghwa could hear that he was crying. What? At this moment he realised it. He spent all his free time in the studio and came back very late or too tired that he hadn’t seen Hongjoong for weeks. “Joong, no I am not mad at you. Listen I-I prepared something for you”, Seonghwa tried to seperate from the hug just to look into Hongjoongs glossy eyes. A few tears were still on his cheeks and with his thumbs Seonghwa removed them. “Uhm...If you want you can sit down. It’s nothing special but I hope you like it”, Seonghwa said. The smaller one sat down and Seonghwa handed him a pair of headphones. As soon as Hongjoong put them on Seonghwa unlocked his phone and with shaky fingers he pressed play.
A soft melody started to play in Hongjoongs ears and his eyes grew bigger when he heard Seonghwas warm voice.
“ I want to write you a song
One that's beautiful as you are sweet
With just a hint of pain
For the feeling that I get when you are gone
I want to write you a song”
He looked up to the silver haired who nervously played with hands and stared at his feed.
“ Everything I need I get from you
Givin' back is all I wanna do”
Hongjoong couldn’t believe that this was real, the tears started to fall down again but this time because of happiness.
“I want to write you a song
One to make your heart remember me
So any time I'm gone
You can listen to my voice and sing along
I want to write you a song ”
The song ended and Hongjoong just wasn’t able to stop the tears or say a word. He just stood up and again wrapped his arms around Seonghwas body. “Happy Birthday”, the silver haired whispered into his ears. “Thank you so so much”, Hongjoong answered. He really wrote a song for me.
They stood there arm in arm for a few minutes until Hongjoong wasn’t a sobbing mess anymore. Hongjoong looked up to his friend and smiled. “This is the best birthday present ever” He wanted to say even more but right in that moment the other members stormed into the room. All singing “Happy Birthday” while Jongho carried the cake with candles on it. “Sorry to disturb you two lovebirds but we want to celebrate Hyungs Birthday now”, Wooyoung said. He gently shoved Seonghwa away so that he could hug his hyung. San was the second one to hug Hongjoong and while everyone said their congratulations, Mingi came up to Seonghwa and looked at him with a questioning face. “He cried”, Seonghwa said with a smile on his face. “Really?”, Mingi was now surprised and Seonghwa nodded. “Yes he said it’s the best birthday present ever”, Seonghwa added and Mingi was now smiling too. “You did really well. I am proud of you. Even though I knew he would like it”, the taller said and put his Hand on Seonghwas shoulder. “I couldn’t have done this without your help. So thank you again”, Seonghwa looked up to Mingi and then he looked back to Hongjoong, who was now about to blow out the candles.
He smiled and was just too happy that this human being in front of him existed. He knew that everyone in this room was as happy as him to have Hongjoong in their life.
But he also knew that he was the only one in this room that loved him more than anything else in this world.
Thank You for being by my side.