Work Text:
“We’re gonna go to hell, Bucky Barnes!”
Darcy was slung over Bucky’s shoulder in a fireman’s carry: a drunk, giggling mess.
“Jesus, Doll, you only had two margaritas. And you soaked most of it up with all those nachos.”
He dropped her on the couch in a way that probably looked more careless than it really was.
“Mmm not trashed,” she protested, “Just buzzing like hell.”
She batted her big blue eyes at him and bit her lower lip.
“No, Doll.”
“Phone,” she snapped her fingers insistently.
Dutifully, he handed her her phone out of her purse. In her defense, she deftly maneuvered through the keypad. A recording of Darcy began to play.
“It’s 3PM, and I Darcy Lewis am completely sober. After Wanda’s party tonight, I will not be completely sober. HOWEVER…”
Bucky let a little snicker escape as he pictured Darcy raising her finger to punctuate that word when she had recorded it.
“I am gonna want to get it on with my incredibly hot, wonderful boyfriend. And since he’s a consent minded dude, I am just gonna say… Bucky. Give it up. Momma wants some sugar.”
Bucky burst out laughing. Darcy beamed.
“Your girlfriend is incredibly clever, is she not?”
“She is,” he agreed.
She punched him lightly on the chest, “And so are you, you Scheming Susan!”
“Did you just call me Susan?”
“That move you pulled with Jane and Sam? Making him drive her home? You’re gonna go to hell for that one! Because Janie’s been wanting to climb him like a tree for months! Sam isn’t gonna know what hit him!”
“Okay, Dr. Foster. Here you are.”
Sam stayed steadfastly behind the wheel of the car.
Jane narrowed her eyes at him and scolded, “You aren’t gonna walk me to my door? What kind of Captain America are you?”
“I’m… not….”
Jane let out an uncouth, “Pffffffft!”
Sam blinked in surprise when Jane declared, “You’re the Captainiest Captain Americany guy there ever was.”
“Why are you being nice to me?”
She pushed his shoulder and let out another, “Pfffft! You’re a nice guy and you are super nice and…what?”
Under his breath, Sam muttered, “Who let the tiniest woman on the planet drink two margaritas?”
Louder, to her he offered, “Okay, Dr. Foster, I’ll walk you to the door.”
“And tuck me in.”
“Are you okay?”
Bucky was sprawled out on their bed, breathing heavily. He raised one hand and stuck one thumb in the air.
Darcy leaned against the doorframe of their bedroom, “You need anything, Babe?”
“How…?” he took a breath and finished, “are you not passed out right now?”
“I don’t know. Booze should make me sleepy. Sex should make me sleepy. But somehow when I mix them together, I’m wide awake….and maybe a little uninhibited. You sure you’re okay? Water?”
“Water. Jesus.”
She bounced over and placed a kiss on his lips. “Actually, I am your Goddess, Bucky Barnes.”
He snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her back onto the bed.
“Okay, there is a bucket next to your bed and…” Sam emerged from Jane’s bedroom.
Jane was leaning against the kitchen counter. “Not gonna puke. I don’t think.”
“You finish your water?”
She held up the empty glass and teased, “Aye aye Captain.”
He shook his head with a smile, “You gonna let that go?”
“Here’s the thing about me, Sam. I like puzzles. Specifically, I like solving puzzles. I wanna know why you won’t be Captain America.” As she talked, she walked over to her couch and sat on it, curling her legs beneath her.
“You’re like a dog with a bone, Foster.” Sam flopped down next to her.
“Guilty.”
“You should be Captain America, with a slap like yours.”
“You tried to steal my nachos. You deserved it.”
He huffed out a laugh.
“When you were a kid, did you ever pull on a girls pigtails or knock her down?”
“I may have gently pulled on pigtails. I would never push anyone down.”
Jane smiled at that. “Was it a girl you liked?”
“Yeah….”
He looked over at her and she eyed him demurely over the rim of her water glass.
Sam felt his heart start to race, “I should go….”
He practically leapt off the couch.
“Sam?”
“Yes, Doctor Foster?”
“Can we have lunch tomorrow?”
“Are you asking me on a date?”
“I am.”
Bucky’s phone was buzzing on his nightstand. He reached over and grabbed it and wasn’t at all surprised to see who the text was from.
“Thanks for the assist. Taking him to lunch tomorrow. You’re an angel.”
“Whossat?” Darcy mumbled from her pillow.
“Just Jane. Wanted you to know she got home okay.”