Chapter Text
Kageyama Tobio has been a lonely boy since young. He grew up with only having his grandfather and sister by his side. Both parents were hardworking people and never spent time with him. Then there were kids from his school; all thought he was weird and never bothered to include him in any games. As he grew, the child played volleyball with his sister, as their grandfather coached his volleyball team. However, she stopped and left him. Then his teammates at Kitagawa Daiichi began to shun him; it didn't bother him much since he still had his grandfather. But even his grandfather, the man who stood by his side since birth, left him alone.
Being secluded during his childhood, Tobio developed the fear of being abandoned.
However, he couldn't say anything about his fear. About this growing anxiety that claws at his skin every day. He can't speak to his trusty Captain about his nightmares that kept him up at night. He can't talk to his understanding Vice-Captain about his fear of letting people in his heart. He can't speak to his caring teammates about the thin scars he made on his thighs. He can't talk to the adults about not wanting to take better care of himself at home. He can't speak to his fellow first-years about feeling like he's a failure. And he certainly can't talk to his best friend about his suicide plans.
He's in so much pain, and he can't make it stop.
It's like a dark void overflowing inside his heart, growing an inch every day. And it floods during fights with Hinata or Tsukishima. He was perishing in regret, yet he couldn't apologize even if that's all he wanted to do. His heart withers as each day ends, and he is left to go home alone. But no one would be back to give him warmth.
He doesn't want to feel like this anymore.
Hell, even volleyball didn't give him joy as it used to. In all honesty, this determined depression was eradicating any happy emotion he once had. And the longer he dwells, the longer that pessimistic feeling trudges him farther into the void.
Each time he takes medications to wash away any unpleasant feeling, pills to keep him standing, pills to help him sleep, and kills him inside. Yet, each time he's in front of the bathroom mirror, he takes those bottles with shaky hands and shallow to many pills to count.
But none of his attempts are enough. None of his best tries are sufficient for the world.
So he decided that he could stop trying. He can stop trying to make friends; he can stop trying to let people in his heart; he's going to give up on everything. After all, no one is going to miss such a pathetic and lonesome boy. Not his parents who rarely call him, and when they do, it's to explain that they won't be home. Not his sister, who finally has her own family. Not Oikawa or Iwaizumi, who thought of him as a bothersome first-year. Not Kindaichi or Kunimi, who always loathed him. Not his team who could fly without him. Nope, no one needed him in this life. Kageyama Tobio was just a burden that needed to be thrown away.
So that's what he's going to do.
Since the beginning of this year, he has been planning his death, and today was the perfect time to set his plans into motion.
February 2nd, on a wintry night, Tobio chose to jump to his death.
The chilly breeze numbs his face and fingers; the night was deprived of any light. Not even the moon coaxes its silvery glow. None dares awake from their slumber, heist the quietness that greets Tobio. The young Setter walks along the sidewalk, heading to the unpopulated area in Miyagi, where his final breath shall be. Not many pass the small bridge here. Tobio is sure that not many know of this bridge's whereabouts. So this is a perfect resting place. And what's unique about this bridge was the height. Beneath him was a 30-foot drop; none dare to cross it.
Yet, here he is. Clamping his pair of feet on top of it's creaking wood. The area echoes and groans, but that didn't faze the young boy. Not at all; instead, he strides along the bridge. Reaching for the rail, the young Setter hoists himself until he had his body on the other side.
But he didn't stop there; Tobio notices a ladder that adjoins to the side, leading to the highest rail on top. The upper bridge rail was shaped as a curved, so he could easily fall if he stood up there. And he climbs it anyway.
The breeze was more robust as he reached the top, not that he minded. It cradles his cheeks and rustles his hair. Tobio's body sways from the gentle push, but it was soothing to him.
And finally, the hard work was done. Tobio made it to his destination. At the very top, he admires the many lights shining on Miyagi; it was glamorous to watch from such a high place.
" It's beautiful, right?" The unexpected voice made Tobio jolts to the side. He wasn't expecting anyone to hang around here. Honestly, why would anyone want to be this high up? Unless they also came here to die.
The Setter tilts his head; deep blue eyes roam the male beside him. He starts with thin yet muscular legs, upward to slender hips, then to the familiar face with narrow eyes. That neat, dirty-blond hair sways through the wind, and thin lips curl into a smile. The person in front of him was familiar; the white jacket says it all. He just can't remember his name.
" Looks like you don't remember me," the boy chuckles.
" I do, you're from Fukurodani, Umm, you're that third-year Wing Spiker," Tobio proudly states.
The boys laugh," that's me; the name is Konoha Akinori. It's nice to meet you, Kageyama-kun; officially."
Tobio bows awkwardly; ” umm, you too?"
Konoha laughed again, and the younger boy couldn't comprehend how whatever he said was funny. He only greeted the other, not telling a joke.
" So, what are you here for?" Konoha then asks.
But Tobio only shrugs," why do I have to tell you?"
The older boy continued to smile," I guess I need to figure it out on my own."
And Tobio tilts his head, watching Konoha as he places his hand to his chin. The elder began to think while kicking his feet. The wood sways with every swinging movement, jerking the two boys along with it. Yet, none showed fear as the rail nudges forward ever-so-slightly with their bodies skidding closer to their deaths.
" You are tired," he says while Tobio flinches," You're tired of feeling forgotten and feeling like every attempt is worthless. You feel like you're drowning with many regrets and feel lost because you can't fix them. Feel stupid and useless because you can't do what other people could, and hurt that no one will miss you when you leave. You're just an outsider in your team, watching from a distance, watch as they laugh while you struggle to fit in. But now you're tired of every failing attempt and decided to give up. Because that's the most easiest option, you can do it effortlessly."
Konoha smirks as Tobio eyes widen. Because he guesses everything right, and that was just weird.
" How did you know?"
He shrugs," because that's how I feel too. I feel tired every day, and giving up is the most incredible mercy."
Tobio looks away from the other because it felt like Konoha could see through him. As if he could see Tobio’s heart.
“ But, hey, do you even want to go through this without knowing?” Konoha continues to speak, causing Tobio to glance up at him again.
The younger boy inclines his head, “ What do you mean?”
At this, Konoha closes his eyes, reflecting, and reminiscing. As if he could see through the memories that brought him to this point. As if there was something left in this world for only them to have. Konoha grins, ” Want to play a game?”
” A game?”
Konoha nods, ” We both are skipping practice, and our team is probably wondering where we are. So let's call our team, just to say one last farewell. However, before we do, why don't we let them try to find us. Try to save us before it's too late. To see if they do care, to see if anyone would bother. So what about it?”
”...” Tobio stays quiet, to decipher what the Fukurodani player just suggested to him.
Because Tobio planned to die without anyone else noticing, without anyone to stop him, but a small part of him wanted to see.
Tobio wanted to see if Karasuno cared.
So he nods, ” Alright.”
And Konoha nods as well before fumbling his phone from his pocket. Flipping it open, the boy quickly dials a number and lets it call. Both waited until someone finally picked up, ” Konoha!? Where are you!?”
The voice from the call was loud enough to make Tobio wince, but it seems that Konoha was unfazed by this.
” Hey, Bokuto, can you put me on speaker? I want everyone to hear this.”
“ Huh? Oh, alright!” Bokuto spoke, “ Hey, guys! Konoha wants to tell us something!”
Both waits as the sound of tired people complain before Bokuto says that everyone was present. And Konoha, who suggested this in the first place, seems nervous. Not that Tobio could blame him.
With a long pause, Konoha was brave enough to speak, ” I bet all of you are wondering why I'm missing. Well, it's because I'm playing a game.”
Konoha heard mutters of confused people on the line until Akaashi spoke first, ” What do you mean playing a game?”
Looking over at the Setter, Konoha smiles sadly, ” It's a dangerous game, and I want to apologize in advance to Komi and Sarukui for breaking my promise.”
Another long pause before Komi’s booming voice drowns the others, ” No! Konoha, you didn't!”
” Hey, I thought we would talk about this!?” Sarukui shouts along.
” W-What’s going on?” Bokuto speaks up.
And Konoha closes his tired eyes; he's trembling and had to bite onto his lower lip to stop himself from asking for help. Tobio watches from the side, the feeling of symphony and pain present. He knew that it took all of Konoha’s willpower not to break down. He then took a deep breath to calm down, ” All I ask is for you to find me before it's too late. Well, good luck and goodbye.”
” Wait, Kono-” Bokuto's voice was cut off because Konoha ended the call.
And Tobio's heart raced within his chest because he knew it was his turn now. Konoha pats him on the back, in a way to tell Tobio to take his time. Taking a deep breath, Tobio flips his phone open and dials his best friend’s number, and waited for the other to pick up.
“ Hello! Kageyama, where are you? Daichi and Ukai are so mad that you are not here!” Hinata exclaims, while other voices muffled in the background.
“ Where do I begin?” Tobio spoke as he tried to ignore the burning anxiety within his chest.