Chapter Text
Jake Peralta ran through the deserted building, looking from left to right cautiously.
“What have we got, Jakey?” Boyle’s voice crackled from the radio.
“I haven’t found our dealer yet,” Jake said, “but Amy went ahead. She should find something before me.”
Right on cue, Amy tuned in. “The drugs are all here, but- wait, what?” She went silent.
“Amy? Are you okay?!” Jake shouted, running faster towards where he last saw her. He broke through a door, and saw his wife staring at the room before her.
She had been right, the drugs were all there... but so were the branch of dealers they’d been instructed to arrest. They were tied up and gagged with duct tape on the floor, some awake and some unconscious.
“Looks like someone else got here first,” Amy said, cursing. “Dammit, I was so looking forward to doing the paperwork for this case!”
“Who got where?” Boyle said, crashing into the room after hearing everything on the radio. “Ohhhh, I see.”
“Who did this, though?”
Suddenly, a voice came from a corner.
“Looking for me?”
The three yelled and jumped backwards, and a brown-haired woman came out of the dark corner, smiling.
“Sorry, that corner was really dark and I couldn’t help myself.”
Charles laughed, holding his hand up for a high-five. “Good one!”
“Who are you?” Amy asked, cocking her head.
“Oh, I’m Daisy. Daisy Johnson.”
Jake dropped his gun and Amy gasped.
“Daisy Johnson as in Quake? The Quake?!” she said, a grin spreading across her face. “It is so good to meet you, I’m a big fan- like, a huge fan.” She furrowed her brow, remembering something. “Wait - the collapsed warehouse on 59th street - wasn’t that you?”
Daisy gulped, remembering that particular mission quite well. “Uh… maybe?”
Amy looked disapproving. “That incident took hours to clean up! Honestly, it’s almost irresponsible. But you’ve helped so many people, you’re like a superpowered Robin Hood, Lady Miss Quake Ma’am!” she gushed, completely changing her tune yet again.
Daisy looked at Jake, mounting what?! but Jake just shrugged, stifling a laugh.
“So... why are you here?” he asked.
“Ah, right!” Daisy said. “Same reason as you, probably. This dealer is a nasty piece of work, and normally we wouldn’t deal with this kind of thing, but we have some time off.”
“‘We’? Who’s we?” Boyle asked, Terry nodding.
“Well, who are you?”
“NYPD, 99th precinct,” Jake stated proudly.
“Oh, the police! I’m SHIELD,” Daisy told them. “Wait, was I allowed to tell you that?”
“ The SHIELD? No way,” Amy squealed. “This is the best day of my life!”
Boyle handcuffed two of the dealers to each other, and straightened. “Guys, we should get back to the precinct. Rosa and Terry went into the north wing of the building, so let’s check if they’re okay when we get back. And, also; do you mind if I get your autograph?”
“Yeah, sure!” Daisy laughed. Wait, did you say north wing?” Charles nodded gleefully. “Oh, that’s where Bobbi and Hunter went. I should probably check on them, make sure they’re not snogging in a corner somewhere, or straight-up trying to murder each other. But no, they’ll be fine.”
“What!?”
Bobbi and Hunter made their way through the upstairs corridor, shooting anyone who tried to stop them. They kicked open doors and checked any side alleys, nooks, or crannies for possible dealers. But before they could find the storage room for the drugs they’d been told to source, two more individuals wearing NYPD vests and helmets that obscured their faces came out of a side passage and hurried alongside them.
“Are you part of this organisation?” one of them, a woman with a faint accent, asked as they went.
“No! Are you?” Bobbi questioned.
“We’re the police!” the tall man said.
“We’re SHIELD!” Hunter returned. “Now what do you say we go bust some drug dealers?”
“You read my mind, babe!” Bobbi said, grinning.
The two police officers exchanged a look, shrugged, and turned to them.
“Alright! We’re in, let’s go,” the man said.
They came round the corner to a giant steel door, attached to a wheel to open it. The four stopped and examined it, trying to find a way to open it, as this was surely where the good stuff was.
The female police officer flipped up her helmet and the male followed suit. “Could we try to shoot it open?” she said, gesturing to the door. Now that they had stopped going - and the helmets were gone - Bobbi could take in the appearances of their companions. The woman had curly dark hair, red lipstick, and a serious expression. The man could rival Mack in terms of height and muscle, and he was smiling slightly awkwardly.
Hunter was speaking. “I don’t think that’ll work, this looks bulletproof.”
“But simple; all we need to do to open it is twist the wheel, I think!” the man said, bending slightly and turning it.
It moved with a resounding creak and everyone there covered their ears. But sure enough, the door opened.
“This is ridiculous,” Hunter complained, “why have a bulletproof door with no lock?”
Bobbi shrugged. “Budget cuts?”
The woman pushed the doors open, confirming their suspicions that this group were hiding drugs. “I’m Rosa, by the way. And this yoghurt-loving idiot is Terry.”
“Terry loves yoghurt,” the man confirmed, nodding.
“I’m Bobbi, Bobbi Morse. And this is my ridiculous ex-husband, Hunter.”
“‘Ridiculous’?!” Hunter whined. Rosa smiled at Bobbi approvingly, and Terry looked like he’d seen a ghost.
“Did- Rosa, did you just smile?!”
Rosa immediately schooled her expression into the neutral, bored one she normally wore. “No,” she said expressionlessly.
Terry shrugged, letting it go lest Rosa find him in his sleep and cut his balls off. “Alright then. Let’s go grab some drugs.”
Daisy, Jake, Amy and Boyle were heading down the north wing corridor when they spotted the other four field agents and police officers.
“Oh, hey guys!” Daisy chirped merrily, waving.
“We found the drugs,” Terry said, stating the obvious as all four of them had their arms laden with illegal substances.
“Yeah, we can see that,” Jake said, impressed.
“We didn’t run into any dealers, though,” Bobbi said. “I wonder why?”
“Oh, that would be us,” Jake boasted. “We came in and they were all spread out, but I was totally like John McClane - you know, from Die Hard! - and I managed to grab one of them, and I pointed my gun at his head and yelled “take me to your leader!” and he was all like “aaah no, please spare me! He’s over there!” and I was like-”
The SHIELD agents, except Daisy, were watching in stunned silence, but the policemen and woman were rolling their eyes.
“What my husband means, ” Amy cut in, “is that Quake - Quake! - here had already tied up the dealers by the time we’d gotten here, and all we had to do was put them in the van.”
“But it sounds way less cool that way!” Jake complained. Amy laughed.
“Wait, you’re Quake?” Terry asked, looking at Daisy, who held her hands up.
“Guilty!”
“That’s so cool! Could you do something on camera? For my girls,” he explained. “They’re big fans of yours.”
“Aw, you have children! What are their names?”
“There’s the twins, Cagney and Lacey, and then their younger sister Ava.”
“Guys? Maybe this isn’t the best place to be talking about this,” Bobbi said. “We should go to your precinct with you, make sure everything turns out smoothly, and then get going.”
“Can’t we stay for a little longer?” Daisy asked, giving Bobbi puppy eyes. “I bet Coulson would love to meet all of them, and they’re all really nice!”
“Pleeeease stay?” Boyle said. “I love making new friends, and I could show them the best pie stores in Brooklyn- no, the world! Pretty please!”
“I do like pie,” Hunter affirmed.
“And I’d adore a chance to get to know Quake, I’m a huge fan!” Amy gushed.
“Do you guys like Die Hard?” Jake asked.
Bobbi’s resolve crumbled. “Fine. I’ll radio ahead to Coulson; if he says we can stay for a while, we can stay for a while.”
“Yay!” cheered everyone except Rosa and Bobbi, who stood there staring at the others.
“Oh my god, they’re actual five-year-olds,” Bobbi groaned.
“Tell me about it,” Rosa said.
The group drove to the precinct and got out the car, putting the drug dealers and drugs downstairs for the others to deal - ‘deal’, haha - with. The nine of them were too big to fit into the elevator, so it was decided that the police officers would go first, to tell the others about SHIELD.
Even with only Jake, Amy, Charles, Terry and Rosa in the elevator, it was quite a tight fit, so they were all glad they’d told the others to come up after them.
They stepped out of the elevator to cheers and applause, and Jake bowed gratefully.
“Thank you, thank you all,” he said, smiling jokingly. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, we need to go talk to Captain Holt. I’m sure he’d love to hear about how we bravely vanquished the drug dealers, also known as the sly smokers,” he grinned, winking. Amy rolled her eyes, endeared.
“Where is Holt, anyway?” Rosa asked.
“Oh, he’s in his office,” Scully said, with his mouth full from a jumbo packet of crisps.
“Yeah, another guy’s in there too,” Hitchcock added, unwrapping a hot dog from its cling film. “He said something about waiting for his team?”
“He also brought a few people in there,” Gina said, not looking up from her phone. “There was some Asian lady, a Scottish guy and an English girl who didn’t stop talking, and-“ She looked up, phone forgotten, looking like she was about to tell them the best news they’d ever receive. “And, a hot piece of man-pie. Seriously, he’s so beautiful, I might have to let him guest-star on Linetti, Set, Go every Tuesday evening.”
“I thought you said that about Terry?” Boyle asked.
Gina laughed. “Oh, Boyle. Terry’s old news, now. This new guy is it for me. He’s so muscly... ” She trailed away, lost in some fantasy, and Amy shuddered.
They heard a sniffle from behind them and all four turned to look at Terry, who looked close to tears.
“Terry. What’s wrong?” Rosa asked.
“I’m sorry,” Terry said, waving a hand. “I just get so emotional when I see character development!” He descended into full-on sobs, and Boyle crossed over and patted him on the back.
“There, there, Terry.” he said soothingly, completely missing the weirded-out looks Jake, Amy and Rosa were giving him.
Suddenly, the elevator dinged and Daisy, Bobbi and Hunter came tumbling out.
“Who are you?” Hitchcock asked, biting into the hot dog.
“Oh, we’re SHIELD,” Bobbi introduced. “We helped a bit with the case.”
“And they’re staying here for a bit!” Jake said triumphantly.
“Shield, huh?” Gina asked, standing up and coming closer to the three. “Do you, like, need a new recruit? Because Gina Linetti is so talented, so amazing, that she can do-” she paused for dramatic effect- “everything.”
“Who’s Gina Linetti?” Daisy asked, confused.
“That’s me, silly. Keep up,” Gina said with a flip of her hair.
“Oh. O-okay,” Daisy said, confusedly.
“She’s always like that. You get used to it,” Rosa whispered to them.
They all looked up as Holt came out of his office and stood in the centre of the room.
“Welcome back, everyone. I’m glad to see the drug bust went well, I would like the paperwork on my desk at the end of the day.”
“Yes!” Amy whispered. Holt gave her a look and she apologised hurriedly.
“As I’m sure you’ve all noticed by now, we have some guests in my office,” Holt continued without any preamble. “And- wait. Who are you?”
He’d clearly just noticed the three SHIELD agents, who awkwardly shuffled to the front. Daisy waved.
“We’re SHIELD agents, hello!” she said awkwardly. “We sort of helped with the case a bit?”
“Daisy!” Coulson exclaimed, coming out of Holt’s office for the first time. “I see you three have met Captain Holt. We knew each other back in the day, he was one of the officers helping clear up the Captain Marvel case.”
“Wait, sir. You met Captain Marvel?!” Simmons said, coming out of the office and dragging Fitz along. “How have you never told us this, that’s so amazing! Do you have pictures?”
May came out and nodded at everyone. Her gaze fell on Rosa and she stopped and raised an eyebrow.
“Hi,” Mack said, trailing behind them. “Sorry, we haven’t introduced ourselves. I’m Mack, and this is Agent May and Director Coulson. I see you’ve already met Bobbi, Hunter and Daisy. And this here is Fitzsimmons.”
“I’m Fitz,”
“And I’m Simmons!” The respective scientists smiled.
“Woah,” Amy breathed. “An actual, entire, complete SHIELD team! This is so cool.”
“And this is my precinct,” Holt introduced. “That over there is Jake, Amy, Boyle, Rosa and Terry. Then there’s Scully, Hitchcock and Gina.”
“The great Gina Linetti,” Gina smiled gracefully. “And you, sir, must be Mack.”
“Yes, um, that’s what I said?” Mack asked, confused.
“I know. The great Gina Linetti knows all,” she said. “Now come, my love.”
“Your- What?”
“We must depart this place. I’m taking you to my dance class, the ladies are gonna love you.You know, they’re never going to let you escape!” She took his hand, dragging him out of the room and into the elevator. Poor Mack was left looking very confused, and before he was dragged away, he mouthed help! to the others. The elevator doors shut, sealing his fate.
Jake looked around. “Wait, where’s Pimento?”
“Is that a type of vodka?” Hunter asked. “Because if so, count me in.” Bobbi slapped him on the shoulder.
“No, he’s another officer,” Amy said. “He should be here, actually.”
“Meanwhile,” Coulson said, “Holt and I are going to go into his office and catch up. You guys can get to know each other!” The Captain and the Director walked into the office and shut the door behind them.
May walked up to Rosa.
“I’m Melinda May,” she said.
“Rosa Diaz.”
“Nice to meet you.”
“Yeah, same here.”
In perfect unison, the two women turned around and went into the waiting room, shutting the door behind them.
“Oh God, there’s two of them,” Fitz muttered.
Suddenly, the elevator doors opened with a ding, and out stepped one Adrian Pimento.
“Hey guys, I’m back! Do you wanna get street meat?”
“Where were you, Pimento?” Boyle asked.
“I was doing surveillance,” he hissed, looking around cautiously. “One thing I learned from being deep undercover is that you can never be too careful. These SHIELD agents might as well paint a target on our backs just by being here, but thankfully it’s all clear.”
Fitz and Simmons exchanged a look.
“You were undercover?” Simmons asked.
Pimento nodded. “Twelve years, in the underground Mafia. I’ve never been the same since.”
Simmons looked sympathetic. “I was undercover for six months once, and it was awful. I can’t imagine doing it for twelve years!”
“Trust me, Lady, you don’t want to,” Pimento growled, looking weary.
“Sorry- who are you?” Hunter asked.
“Paul Sneed.”
“You mean, Adrian Pimento,” Terry reminded, then turned to the SHIELD agents. “That was his undercover name, and he’s sort of- gotten used to it?”
“Oh,” Fitz said, not really knowing what else to say.
“Why did you want to know my name?” Pimento asked, going up close to Hunter. “Are you one of them, come to hunt me down and torture me for information? Because let me tell you now, I’ve been tortured in ways you can’t imagine. I’ve had my toenails ripped out one by one, I’ve been locked up in dark rooms with no food for weeks, I’ve had someone try to cut off my b-“
“Aaaaah, okay okay okay!” Fitz yelled over Pimento, not wanting him to finish his sentence.
Hunter leaned back from Pimento. “No, mate, I was just wondering who you are! And anyway, what do you mean I can’t imagine your torture?”
“Dammit, Hunter, don’t antagonise him!” Bobbi groaned under her breath.
“Mate, I’m a SHIELD agent,” Hunter challenged. “You say you’ve seen torture, but have you ever seen your best friends, your family be shot down around you? Have you ever been betrayed by people you thought you were close to, only to discover that they were lying, backstabbing pricks? You say you’ve been tortured, but we can handle torture. What we can’t handle is seeing the people we love-“ he looked at Bobbi, who was tearing up- “being hurt. Because trust me, mate, it’s worse than anything that can happen to you.”
The group stood in silence, shocked. Jake had thought being a spy was like in Die Hard or James Bond, but if this was the reality, it wasn’t nearly as glamorous as Hollywood portrayed.
Suddenly, Pimento laughed. “Okay, okay,” he said, clapping Hunter on the back, “you win. I’m sorry. D’you wanna go and grab some street meat?”
Hunter shrugged, laid-back demeanour returning. “Sure, mate, why not?”
“Awesome!” Pimento cheered, pressing the elevator button. “I know this great place on 59th street, the kebabs are amazing. ”
“Do they sell beer?”
“Who do you take me for, of course they sell beer!”
The doors slid shut once again.
“I’m... not entirely sure what just happened,” Boyle said.
“You and me both,” Simmons said.
Terry turned to Daisy. “I’m going to go start on the files for the mission - sorry, Santiago - do you mind signing something for my girls?”
“Of course not!” Daisy said. She then turned to FitzSimmons, and mouthed: he wants my autograph! Simmons smiled and Fitz gave her the thumbs up, and she waved as she crossed over to his desk.
Suddenly, there was a spluttering from Terry’s laptop, as smoke began to rise up from it, making Terry cough and Daisy step back in amazement.
“Oh my god, what have you done?” she asked incredulously.
“Scully! Hitchcock!” Terry called from across the room. “Did you spill orange juice on my laptop again? Come on, man, I thought we had a strict eat-at-your-own-desks-rule! Now what do I do?!”
“Oh, not those guys! They’re such a pain in the ass,” Terry complained.
“Sorry, Terry,” Scully called, spraying crisp crumbs from his mouth. “It’s just your chair is so comfortable!”
“Yeah,” Hitchcock backed him up, “it’s got the perfect ratio of bounciness to softness to ease of spin!”
Terry groaned and held his head in his hands. “Well, now I can’t work! How am I supposed to get all of this done?”
“Um, I could help you,” Daisy offered.
Terry spun around. “Really? You could help?” he asked, half-skeptically, half-hopefully.
“Well, yeah! You know, before I was even in SHIELD, I was a hacker for a group called the Rising Tide.” Daisy laughed. “The point is, I have a decent knowledge of computers. I’m no Fitz, but I’d be happy to help!”
“Well, Terry does love help,” he said. “Thank you so much.”
“No worries,” she said, bending over and starting to fix the laptop.
Bobbi smirked. “Well, I’m going to go talk to May and Rosa. See you in a bit,” she said, striding over to the waiting room.
Boyle ran over to her and grabbed her arm, effectively dragging her back.
“Woah, woah, woah,” he said, as Bobbi turned to look at him, confused. “You can’t go in there!” he hissed, looking around worriedly. “They’ll tear you to pieces with just a look! How would you feel never being able to eat pie again?”
Bobbi was trying not to laugh. “I prefer pizza, myself.”
“Ooh, really? I know a great place, it’s got the best crust you’ll ever eat,” Boyle perked up, momentarily distracted. He got back to the point. “But still, you might as well walk into the lion’s den! Do you want to be eaten?!”
Bobbi smiled. “Don’t worry. Trust me, I’ll be fine.”
She walked into the waiting room with May and Rosa, and shut the door behind her. Boyle flinched and Jake winced, but she appeared to be... smiling? And laughing?!
“Wow,” Amy said. “I think I just found my new hero.”
And then there were five. Fitzsimmons, Jake, Boyle, and Amy were left in the middle of the precinct, everyone else having paired up with someone.
Simmons smiled at Jake and Amy.
“So how long have you two been married?”
“About... two years, now!” Jake said, smiling at his wife.
“Well, what about you? How long have you two been together?” Amy asked.
Fitzsimmons looked at each other, and then back at Amy.
“Oh, we’re not dating, we’re only-“
“He’s only my friend- my best friend, but still-“
They spoke at the same time.
“What!” Boyle said, aghast. “How are you not married?! You need to, so that you can be happy and have little science babies!”
“Dude, what the hell?” Jake whispered to his best friend.
“Oh, um, no, we’re not together.” Simmons said. “And we’re definitely not having children, what?”
They heard a gasp from Holt’s office and turned to see the Captain himself staring at them incredulously. When he noticed their stares, he shut his mouth and called,
“Peralta, Santiago, Boyle. My office. Now.”
The aforementioned looked at Fitzsimmons, who shrugged.
“Go! It’s probably important,” Fitz said.
The police officers looked at each other, and Jake led the way to the office.