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You let out what felt like the biggest sigh of your life as you closed the door to your apartment and sank into the wood. You leaned your head back and closed your eyes, not even bothering to drop what was in your hands or take off your shoes just yet. You just felt so drained. Not unhappy, or upset, you’d actually had a fantastic and full day with friends and that’s exactly why you felt so zapped. You adored your friends and spending time with them; you couldn’t ask for better people in your life but the energy it took you to be social, to be chatty and to show enthusiasm just took it out of you sometimes. You were ecstatic when in their company but as soon as you left, you felt all that pressure just fall off you and it turned into an unbearable ache of tiredness. You slowly opened your eyes, realising you should probably move from the doorway. Your boyfriend hadn’t come to greet you, although that could be normal for Kenma, he was probably absorbed in one of his games with his headphones on. You really could use his comfort right now though because as drained as you felt, you definitely didn’t want to be alone and Kenma was so perfect at just being there. No awkward conversation filler or need to do something. He would just exist in the same room as you whilst you did your own thing. It was the comfort of his presence without the pressures to be… anything. You didn’t have to fake a smile with him, or giggle at something he said. You two would sometimes just sit in a room together for hours and not even talk. That was just what you needed right now.
You dragged yourself from the door, dropping your things haphazardly onto the floor, not caring if you made a mess. You just about summoned the energy to pull off your shoes as you headed towards the spare room of your apartment where you would find your gamer boyfriend on his PC.
You entered the room; it was lit only by the computer screen and the flashing lights from Kenma’s keyboard as you observed the back of your boyfriend’s head as he focused on his game. He knew you would be home around this time but probably hadn’t noticed you enter yet. His blonde hair was pulled into a bun, some stray hairs falling around his face as he focused. His cat eared headphones sitting on top of his head. You had bought him them as a half joke one Christmas and now they were the only headphones Kenma used. It made your heart swell every time you saw him in them. He was in some comfy sweats and a baggy shirt; his shoulder showing slightly as the oversized tee slipped off it.
You made your way next to his chair and you saw him glance over to you, a small smile graced his face as he pulled one ear piece to the side so he could hear you.
“Hey, Pudding.” He greeted. His low voice soothed your soul and part of you could listen to him forever. There was just something about his tone. So soft, so beautiful.
“Hey.” You greeted back quietly, your usual enthusiastic greeting not in the repertoire today.
You saw your boyfriend eye you and you knew Kenma would get your mood instantly. He always did. His analytical skills were fantastic anyway but he had refined his readings of your emotions and well-being to a fine art. He just knew you just like you got him. He could be calm when you needed him to be, assertive when you wanted and just so… Kenma. You couldn’t describe how you felt about him really. Not with any written words. He just was your safe space.
He wordlessly lifted his arms, the controller in his fingers that connected them above his head. You crawled onto his lap, your legs sitting at either side of his on his chair. You stuffed your nose into his neck and inhaled his scent. His smell calmed your soul and you felt yourself relax into his touch has he lowered his arms back down. You could feel his breathing on your hair and neck slightly and you could feel the movement on your back as he mashed the keys, continuing to play. You closed your eyes and let yourself just feel his warmth; his body radiated heat through his clothes and it felt so good. You nuzzled into him further and Kenma leaned slightly, turning his head to kiss the side of your face gently before returning his gaze to his game. You sat like this for a while but your legs started to ache from the angle and you shifted slightly.
“Would you like some tea?” Kenma asked quietly into your ear. You nodded into his chest.
“Your favourite?” You nodded again, not trusting your voice as you suddenly felt a little overwhelmed. Being tired always made you emotional and you were worried you would cry.
“Okay.” He said, moving to put his controller onto his desk before standing. You squeaked a bit as he stood, wrapping your legs around his waist instinctively. Kenma rarely carried you anywhere and it took you by surprise. He was more than capable, still holding onto a lot of his strength from his volleyball days but the action still made you blush and you hid your face further into his neck.
“I can walk, you know.” You said into his skin.
“I know.” He replied, making no move to put you down so you just stayed put, feeling yourself get even hotter as you felt him walk.
You felt as he gently placed you onto your shared bed and pulled back to look you in the eyes. He stayed quiet as he observed you and he lifted his hand to gently push a stray lock of hair out of your eyes.
“Why don’t you get into your PJs whilst I make us tea?” He asked, his loving, and slightly concerned gaze, never leaving your face.
You again, just nodded in response. Kenma rose from his knelt position in front of you, keeping his hand cupped onto your cheek. You felt him lean down and place a firm kiss onto the top of your head. You closed your eyes at the feeling and felt cold as he gently pulled away to leave the room to go to the kitchen.
You opened your eyes and listened to his movements for a few moments. You could hear his feet shuffling on the wooden floor, cupboards being opened and closed, the flick of the kettle as he put it on. You could almost see him doing it. It was so domestic. So peaceful.
You let out another breath as you stood to get changed. You chose your fluffiest pjs, a little too big and the warmest set you owned. You eyed Kenma’s clothes on the other side of the room and made your way over, selecting his oldest hoodie and throwing it over your shirt. His smell immediately assaulted your nose and you closed your eyes to inhale his essence. Your body sagged as it calmed you. You loved this hoodie because it always smelt so strongly of Kenma and you hated when he washed it. You tried to convince him to leave it as long as possible before throwing it in the machine. You had managed to get a record of three weeks, the gaps between getting larger the more Kenma saw you wear it. You knew he would wear it in the day on purpose whilst he streamed just for you so it smelt strongly.
You heard some shuffling and clinking behind you and turned to see Kenma carefully entering the room, tea set out on a tray as he carried it in. His tongue was sticking out between his teeth as he concentrated and his focus was completely on the cups in front of him; his eye sight daring the drinks to spill. His brows pulled into a slight frown as he focused. The view brought a small smile to your face and you made your way over to him, gently taking the tray from him.
“I got it.” You said with a warm smile.
“Thanks, Pudding.” He replied, real relief on his face as you took the offending tray away and placed it onto the end of the bed. You sat yourself down in front of it, cross-legged and Kenma moved to sit beside you in the same position.
Kenma did the honours, pouring you both a cup of your favourite comfort drink. Milk Chai Tea. Your mouth watered slightly and you lifted your cup to your lips, taking a small sip of the steamy liquid and sighing as the taste hit your tongue and the warmth slid down your throat. You let out a content hum.
You both drank in comfortable silence, your knees touching as you sat and enjoyed your beverages. Once finished Kenma pulled and lifted the tray from the bed, his tongue sticking out again as he was careful not to drop anything. He sat back up and looked at you for a moment, as if deciding something. You shifted. You felt warm and your mood had definitely lifted slightly, the comfort that was Kenma always did relax you but you still felt so tired.
Kenma shuffled back and pulled the duvet down, fitting himself under it and settling against the pillows. He then lifted the corner to your side and patted it, encouraging you to join him. You didn’t need telling twice and you quickly got yourself buried in the blankets as you snuggled into Kenma’s chest, your arms wrapping around his waist as your ear fell just over Kenma’s heart. You could hear it beating. Strong, steady and calming. You could feel it thumping slightly against the skin of your cheek and you gave him a light squeeze. He wrapped his arms around you and his fingers found their way into your hair, combing it through gently. His other hand resting on your upper arm that was wrapped around his body. His breathing was slow and steady and you found yourself matching it; your anxiety edging away.
“Want me to read you a story?” He asked, his voice vibrating through his chest and it made you feel even warmer.
“Yes, please.”
He leaned over slightly, grabbing on of his books from his nightstand and settled more firmly into his pillows, adjusting his body to ensure you were comfortable. He opened the pages and his soft voice started to fill the air.
“Once upon a time…”
You were pretty sure you fell asleep before he could finish the first chapter.