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It felt like the world exploded, the day Chuck and Amara died. At first, they thought it was ending because everything was so loud, it was like the world was ringing. Everything was reset back to normalcy, the people who had disappeared all came back without any problems, no memory of the events that had transpired. Billie and Chuck were gone, they had finally saved the world for the last time. It was all over but something felt off. Sam and Eileen were on a date enjoying the bliss of not having to worry about the world ending. Jodie, Donna, the girls, and Jack were hanging out at their house talking about future plans and places they planned to take Jack to. Dean and Cas were the only ones left in the bunker; Dean was sitting at the table when Cas walked in.
“Hello, Dean,” he said, something about him was glowing.
“Hey, Cas. How are you feeling after all of that?” Dean asks Cas, he couldn’t place what he was feeling.
“Good. I’m good, Dean. God is dead-” Cas replied.
“We saved the world; I think you can go ahead and sit down for a bit,” Dean says pulling out a chair next to him.
Cas sits down, the air between them thin, Dean knew something was wrong. There was something Castiel was keeping from him.
“I need to talk to you,” Castiel said looking Dean directly in the eyes.
Dean’s expression changes, whatever Cas is about to say is serious and Dean doesn’t feel prepared. He takes a swig of beer and inhales, “What is it?” he asks, his voice soft and full of worry.
“I made a deal,” Cas says finding it hard to speak.
Dean’s brow furrows, “Sorry, what?”
“I made a deal,” Cas says again as he clears his throat, “with the Empty. A year ago to save Jack I traded my life for his.”
“How? How is the Empty going to get you?!” Dean asked seriously and on the verge of shaking.
“When I experience a moment of true happiness, the Empty’s going to come and take me,” Cas exhaled.
“So, what, how long do you have, you haven’t experienced true happiness yet so we still have time, right?”
Cas didn’t answer and Dean searched his eyes for some sort of emotion.
“Right, Cas?” Dean asked again, his voice shaky.
“Dean,” he said softly as he put his hand on the hand Dean was resting on the table.
“You are the most special and important man I’ve ever met. Ever since I pulled you out of Hell, something in you changed and something even more valuable in me changed. You became even more than just the tortured and broken man some angel pulled from Hell. You‘ve become everything, you are Sam’s older brother, who uses every waking moment to make sure he has everything amidst the life you two lead. You’ve become Jack’s caretaker, looking after him and accepting him even though it’s been hard for you. You’ve become a savior of the world, as much as you want to turn your back on the world that betrayed you, you always come back, you always try harder than before. Most importantly, you’ve become the man I fell in love with, the man that loves everyone and takes care of everyone and values every life no matter how messed up.”
Dean was gripping at the angel’s hand; he couldn’t let go not knowing exactly what was next.
“Cas, you can’t please. Don’t say it-“
“Dean, I love you. I understand if don’t feel the same, but saying it is enough for me. I love you so much, and I need you to do one thing for me.”
“Cas, I can’t. You can’t leave, we just saved the world everything is going to be okay.”
“Dean, I need you to do one thing for me,” Cas repeated smiling as his eyes sparkled with tears. He placed his hand on Dean’s cheek.
“What?” Dean was crying at this point, if Cas removed his hand from his cheek, he knowns he’d break down.
“Don’t ever change,” Cas exclaims as his hand slips from Dean’s face, and the wall opens up, the Empty seeps out and takes Castiel.
Dean grabs his trench coat, attempting to stop him.
“Cas, no!” he screams as a piece of the trench coat rips off and Cas utters his final sentence, “Goodbye, Dean.”
The wall closes up and Dean drops to the floor, erupting in body shaking sobs.
----
The last hour was a blur to Dean but he does know that he punched the wall at some point and his knuckles were bleeding and he hadn’t stopped crying. There are crushed cans all over the place and Dean knows he’s drank more than the usual at least three more. His body feels horrible and he’s slumped on the floor, back on the wall and face buried in his knees. His mind in a fog, replaying Cas’s confession over and over. Sam had been calling him for 30 minutes now, he knew his brother was worried, but he couldn’t bare to answer. What was the point anymore, everything they had done, and he still lost Cas? He still lost everything.
Another hour past and Dean was still a wreck, he heard the door open. Sam’s voice echoed through the halls as he said goodbye to Eileen and walked into the bunker. Sam started calling his name,
“Dean?”
“Dean, are you here?”
He made his way down the stairs, almost slipping on an empty can. He finds this brother disheveled against the wall.
“Dean!” he shouts, rushing over and placing a hand on Dean’s shoulder.
“What happened?” he spoke cautiously to not trigger anything.
“Cas is gone,” Dean mumbles, choking back tears.
“What? Did he leave the bunker?”
Dean looked up, he could barely even utter the words, “Cas is gone!”
Sam was shaken, “How?”
“He made a deal with the Empty to save Jack and now he’s d-dead.”
“We just saved the world, how could he just die? Did he say anything before it happened?”
“He said that he had to experience true happiness and then the Empty would come and take him-”
“What did he say then?”
He buried his face back into his knees and said, “He said he loved me.”
“He said he loved you?” Sam questioned to make sure he was right.
“Yes, and now he’s gone! Son of a bitch disappeared before I could tell him-” Dean cut himself off sobbing.
Sam caught Dean before he slumped on the floor.
“It’s okay, Dean,” Sam says as he rubs circles on his brother’s back. “We’ll get him back, I promise.”
They sat there not saying anything more until Dean whispers, “I love you too, Cas.”