Chapter Text
Inhale. Exhale. Take deep breathes. Oh he's beautiful Mrs. Iwaizumi. What will you name such a beautiful child?
"Hajime."
Breath in
And reach in
for anything that will not let you go
Iwaizumi Hajime knew he was different from the moment he was aware of conscious thought. He felt different from other kids. Clocks ticked louder, time moved slower, or faster depending on how he felt. Sometimes he skipped minutes altogether.
"Hajime, people will never understand what we are." Was always his mother's response when he questioned why he wasn't normal. He learned to keep his differences hidden.
"What are we?" A thirteen year old Hajime finally worked up the courage to ask, clutching an old stuffed animal to his chest as they pack their belongings to move for the fourth time that year.
"Time travelers."
"No, really." Hajime sighed, dropping his toy into a bin and then lifting it into the trunk. "What are we?"
"We're gifted with the ability to go forward in time, eternally reincarnating until we've found the perfect timeline." She explained impatiently, as though it was basic knowledge.
"So I've had lives before this?"
"Not you," his mother said, "This is your first timeline."
"How many lives have you lived?"
"36."
"How many lives will we live?"
"As many or as few as we wish, so long as you aren't killed."
"What happens if you die?" Hajime asked, fascinated.
"You reincarnate, usually into someone else, but you're still, you know, you." She explained, "But if you're killed your number of reincarnations becomes limited. Like an hour glass appears and begins ticking down to your final timeline."
His mother made intricate motions with her hands.
"What about family?"
"We reincarnate together, across all timelines. However, we're often separated by tears, enigmas, unexpected interference from past and future selves."
"But we'll always find each other?"
"Always." She promised.
Take me
Hold me
Think of all the people that you know
"Your first timeline will be your hardest," one of his mother's friends told him over breakfast one morning.
Hajime eyed her curiously over his eggs, "You're also a time traveler?" He asked, stabbing his yolk and ripping it open.
"No, but I'm married to one." She smiled. Her surname was Oikawa. "My husband won't reincarnate after this timeline though, but he's told me all about what it's like. Sounds very tiring to be honest."
"Mrs. Oikawa has two kids of her own." His mother slipped in.
"My daughter has already left this timeline, but my son, Tooru is determined to spend as much time as he can in this timeline since it's the only one he'll spend with me." She smiled again, but it was sad and forced. Something about it made Hajime's heart ache.
"You two would be good friends I suspect." Mrs. Oikawa hummed and the thought of their friendship seemed to soften her features.
"I'd like to meet him." Hajime, now seventeen, blurted out.
"I'm sure he'd like that as well."
We've been staring down the barrel of a gun but we found home and comfort in everyone
"Hey Iwa-chan," Tooru called down to him from the balcony of his parent's home.
"Don't call me that." Iwaizumi, now eighteen, rested his head on the damp cement of the driveway. It was the first time in a week that it had stopped raining. From his spot on the ground Hajime thought Tooru looked like some sort of angel peering down at him from the heavens.
"My dad told me not to fall in love with a ticker." Tooru said, the word ticker landed, foreign and uncomfortable in Iwaizumi's ears.
"What's that?" He asked out of curiosity. Tooru climbed onto the balcony railing, standing with his arms outstretched a lazy smirk on his lips. If Iwaizumi had blinked in the next moment he would've missed the magic trick Tooru so often liked to pull out. His slender fingers curled inward and his body appeared to smear in space for a brief second before his face was suddenly very close to Hajime's, startling him into sitting up. Their foreheads knocked together painfully.
"Ow, Hajime that hurt." Oikawa groaned, rubbing his forehead tenderly.
"If it really hurts that much just skip the few seconds." Iwaizumi sighed, leaning in to ensure his friend was alright.
"I'm fine, thanks." Oikawa said sarcastically.
"So what in the hell is a ticker?" Hajime asked impatiently.
"Normal people," The brunette explained and made a ticking noise with his mouth.
"They're all like ticking time bombs, waiting to die. We're not like that though. We're special."
"If your dad feels that way why'd he marry your mom."
"My dad was murdered by another traveler fourteen timelines ago. He did what he could to make himself happy when he landed here permanently." Oikawa shrugged it off as though it was a topic that made his skin crawl.
Hajime returned to his reclined position, "I wasn't planning on falling in love anyway. It just seems like a hindrance."
"What a lonely existence you'll have."
"It won't be lonely if I'll always have you Asskawa."
"I'm touched by your sentiment." Tooru said bitterly, but there was a lightness to his tone that warmed Iwaizumi'd body in not unpleasant ways.
Everything comes to an end
But who knows what tomorrow will send
We must wait for a sign and be patient with time
Until then we can start again
"I'm so sorry Hajime." Is all Oikawa can manage to say at his mother's funeral.
"She didn't even tell me she was leaving." Is all Iwaizumi can think.
"Your first timeline will be your hardest." Mr. Oikawa said, patting Iwaizumi on the shoulder before leaving. It doesn't make Iwaizumi feel any better, in fact he just felt like vomiting. Oikawa lurked in the shadows of the funeral home for the duration, leaving Hajime to mourn alone. Perhaps not the wisest thing he'd ever done or he'd ever do. He sneaks out the back an hour later to steal liquor from his dad.
"I think that's why my sister left so early." Tooru says later, leaning heavily on Hajime, half drunk. They're both drunk, for the first time. "I don't want to leave this timeline." He adds.
Hajime downs another shot, ignoring the harsh burn, "I do."
"If I leave, I'll never see my mother again." Oikawa hiccups, burying his face against the scratchy material of the hotel carpet. He'd fallen over when Iwaizumi shifted away from him. There were hot tears stinging his eyes.
Leave it
So strapped in
We found a way of finding its way back
"I love you." Is said for the first time to Oikawa by a woman he barely knows at some seedy hotel in downtown. He is twenty one. Sweat, whispers, and promises are all exchanged that evening and when he meets Hajime two days later for a study session the skin of Iwaizumi's fist meets the skin of his cheek.
"You seriously need to grow up."
"I lost my mother Hajime. I'm not just going to get over it."
Iwaizumi can only let out a harsh laugh, "Oh? Please enlighten me as to how sleeping around is helping anyone."
"You don't get it."
"No, but I get you, Tooru and this isn't you."
"I'm ready to skip town."
"No. You promised me we'd finish this timeline together."
"Hey Hajime?"
"What." It's a statement, not a question.
"I want to love you."
But it will do
It's meant to
In no time it will be sitting where you sat
The first time they kiss is sloppy and Oikawa is drunk. Oikawa isn't good at any part of it really, too much tongue, hands with no clue where to place themselves, he was utterly hopeless. While Tooru was busy finding himself, Iwaizumi had maintained one successful relationship with a young traveler by the name of Matsukawa Issei. Mattsun, as he became known by Oikawa, showed Iwaizumi the ropes and then bid him adieu in search of a new timeline. It was Iwaizumi who learned how to make Oikawa bend. Oikawa doesn't remember the next morning.
"Everything is so fuzzy," he groaned, rubbing his eyes the next morning. Hajime can still feel the burn of their kiss on his lips. "I feel like I'm forgetting something important."
Whether or not Tooru was serious about forgetting was the last thing on Iwaizumi's mind when he leaned in and kissed Oikawa for the second time.
"Was that a good enough reminder?" Hajime asked, turning his face away in an attempt to mask his embarrassment.
"Iwa-chan, that was so smooth." Oikawa said, wide eyed and then they kissed again.
And the rain keeps coming trying to wash away the sun but we still found home and comfort in everyone
When they're twenty five Iwaizumi takes Oikawa on a trip and the latter falls in love with a matching set of silver bands in a jewelry store window. Iwaizumi buys them in secret that night and revels in the disappointment that dawns on Tooru's face after he notices the set has been purchased.
"Awh Iwa-chan, all I ever wanted in life were those rings. Why didn't we buy them?" Tooru whined, nestling into Hajime's arm the week after their return. His eyes round like a puppy's.
"Stop whining, there's more to life than jewelry."
"I've decided that this timeline is my selfish one, I want everything."
"You can't have everything dumbass," Hajime sighed, popping the tab on a supermarket beer.
"But I can have you and that's pretty close." Oikawa said dreamily.
"How gross." Iwaizumi said and pushed Tooru off of him. Luckily it worked just as he'd hoped and Oikawa began complaining immediately about how cold he was, masking Hajime as he leaned around the couch and pulled out a prettily wrapped box.
"Here, take this and shut up." Iwaizumi said and then dutifully returned his gaze to the television screen. He watched in the reflection of the screen as Tooru unwrapped the box delicately as though if he opened it too quickly it would disintegrate.
"They're perfect." Was the breathless response Tooru had.
"Good," Iwaizumi smirked and finally looked at Oikawa whom threw himself at his boyfriend. Iwaizumi caught him in a feverish kiss, wrapping his arm gently around Oikawa's body. The rings jingled to the ground.
"Oh!" Oikawa pulled himself hurriedly from the kiss to collect them. He grabbed the arm Iwaizumi was supporting himself with and slid the silver band onto his ring finger.
"Will you—"
"You can't ask—"
"Mar—"
"No this is my moment and I will not let you steal it!" Hajime yelled, and covered Tooru's lips with his own, prying the other ring hastily from the other's fingers. As quickly as possible Hajime pushed Oikawa off of him yet again and rolled onto the ground and into a tradition proposal position.
"Oikawa Tooru,"
"Iwa-chan it doesn't seem very fair now that you're asking."
"Hey, I'm trying my best," Hajime chuckled with a nervous tinge at the end.
"I'm going to tell everyone you said no to me." Oikawa pouted, but a playful smirk danced on the edge of his lips.
"Will you marry me?" Hajime asked and Oikawa's face fell slack as though he couldn't believe it.
"Wait, are you seriously asking me?"
"Have you not been here for the last five minutes?" Hajime laughed.
"I was joking." Oikawa said, jaw slack.
"Hm, maybe I am too.
"I mean it, are you serious?""
"Yes, I'm asking you for real. I love you Oikawa Tooru and ifyou need to hear it again, will you marry me?"
"Yes, yes, Iwaizumi Hajime I love you with every fiber of my being!" And with that Oikawa flung himself into Iwaizumi tangling them on the ground. He buried his face into Iwaizumi's shoulder.
"God, I'm so in love with you."
"Yeah, same." Hajime breathed into his hair.
Everything comes to an end
But who knows what tomorrow will send
We must wait for a sign and be patient with time
Until then we can start again
"My wife would've been so happy to see this day." Oikawa's father told Iwaizumi on their wedding day.
"Thank you for giving your blessing." Hajime smiled and winced a little as Mr. Oikawa clapped him on the back.
"I'm trusting you to keep track of him in the future timelines." That was the first time in several years traveling timelines has been brought up to him.
"How does that work anyway? Do we reincarnate in pairs?"
"No, but you retain all memories from previous lives when you reincarnate. However, only if neither of you are killed." He explained. "If that occurs the one whom dies loses past life memories."
"What about you?"
"I regained mine in my final timeline."
"So that's how you know it's the end?"
"Yup, that's what I've found." He sighed, shoving his hands into his pockets.
"Will Tooru really reincarnate though?" Hajime asked hesitantly, "I mean he's not really, fully—"
"Because his mother was human he'll never become conscious in the same family line, unlike you. You'll only have access to timelines where your mother and father meet and have you. Tooru can bounce, he won't have to wait between timelines for requirements to be met. It'll make meeting him again very difficult, but I'm begging you to always find him." Mr. Oikawa said and his eyes glistened with tears he wouldn't let even his own son see.
Hajime took great care in his next movement, placing each of his hands firmly on one of Mr. Oikawa's shoulders, "I promise."
Oikawa's father embraced Hajime then and squeezed him as though it would give him protection from the pain of the future. On the other side of the door separating them Tooru wiped away tears he had no recollection of shedding.
Well you could say our time has come
and I could stay here on my own
Well you could say welcome home, darling
"Iwaizumi Hajime?" An officer stood before him, uniform drenched from the rain, examining a damp notepad which he produced from his pocket.
Hajime regarded him carefully, "Yes that's me, would you like to come in?" He asked, opening the door a little wider.
"Thank you," the officer said, stepping just inside the door. "I'm Officer Sugawara and have been sent to inform you that your husband, Iwaizumi Tooru has been taken to the hospital and is currently in critical condition."
Hajime wondered if he was dreaming and pinched his own arm, "I'm sorry there must be some mistake."
"No this is the address provided sir."
"I'm sorry, I'm not sure how to react right now."
"I can give you a ride to his hospital if you'd like." Sugawara offered and smiled sadly. His eyes regarded Iwaizumi thoughtfully before he spoke again, "I'm sure you've heard this before, but your first timeline will always be your hardest."
"I'm sorry—?" Hajime choked out.
"I'm going to take you to him." Suga said softly, taking Iwaizumi's hand in his own. Hajime gripped onto Suga's hand as though it were the only thing that was keeping him sane, "Okay."
This weather kills and foreign sky
"Tooru?"
"Iwa-chan, I love you so much."
Not shooting my lover's eye
"No, please, please, you cannot die,"
"I'm so sorry Iwa-chan, but I think—" Tooru heaved a gulp of air into his lungs with a tremendous amount of effort. "I'm skipping town." He chuckled. "But I'm sure we'll see each other soon."
Hajime can still remember the burn of his tears, "But you won't remember. You won't remember me." He sobbed against Tooru's arm.
Gently, Tooru pressed his silver band into Hajime's palm. He offered a final weakened smile and his head fell limply back.
"I will never forget you."
It always takes me by surprise, darling
"Iwaizumi Tooru died today at 12:44am from three bullet wounds to his chest and one to his right knee." Officer Sugawara read to the sole occupant of Iwaizumi Tooru's hospital room.
"He won't remember me next time." Hajime whispered, "What if I don't find him on his final timeline?"
"You will." But Suga didn't sound convinced.
"I'm going to leave now, this timeline. I need to find him."
"Do you even know how?"
"No, but I'll find a way." Hajime said, pushing past his final acquaintance in his first timeline.
"If you imagine climbing a very tall ladder and each rung is a year of your life, once you've reached the top, let go. You'll get it." Suga said quietly and smiled sadly at Iwaizumi. "I hope we meet again Hajime."
"Yeah, me too." Hajime replied and with that he was gone.
Everything comes to an end
But who knows what tomorrow will send
We must wait for a sign and be patient with time
Until then we can start again