Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It hurts. It hurts . It hurts .

All I can think, all I can feel is pain . Pain from the hunger. Pain from the chains, from my injuries, from my mistakes. From the cold, from my failure . I hurt her. I hurt her, I hurt her so badly she would do this. I… I don’t know what I did but it must have been bad, it had to have been bad, she wouldn’t have done something like this if I didn’t deserve it but what did I do wrong?

Another jolt of pain hits me, and I nearly puke. As if there’d be anything left to come out. It’s been… It’s been so long I can’t even keep track of time anymore, and the cold never left no matter how much time passed. I can’t even see the sun through the cellar window anymore, there’s only darkness. I’ve long since given up hope that I’ll ever be freed, and… Even if I was, what would I do? I have nothing left. Everyone I cared about is gone, everything I had was taken. And it’s my own fault.

I deserve to die.

I deserve to die.

...The door creaks, and I hear- barely- footsteps coming down the stairs, towards me. In my blurry vision, I see her . She… Looks even worse than last time I saw her. I can’t even see her face anymore, there’s only darkness. If I could look anywhere else, I would, but she grabs my face and makes me look into her eyes and I don’t have the strength to pull away.

“ Are you ready to see reason, my dear prince? All you have to do is say you’ll love me, and only me forever, and I’ll let you go .” Her voice is the only thing about her that’s the same, and even then there’s something wrong with it.

...I stare into her eyes, darkness creeping into the corners of my vision from just the strain of holding my head up, and with what’s left of my voice, I manage to speak. “ Please. I have nothing left to live for. Everyone I know is dead and I’ve hurt you more than I can ever fix. Just let me die. ” Her grip tightens, and I faintly feel her nails cut into my skin. “ Please. ” 

She laughs, and a sense of dread joins the pain. “ Now, my dear prince… My dear Alexander . Why would I kill you? You just need to learn a lesson ! ” She lifts her other hand to my face, and slowly drags her fingers down the side. It’s agonizing. “ I’ll give you a few days more to think about it. ” And with that, she walks back towards the door out, and vanishes up the stairs. The cellar door closes with a thud, loud enough even for my failing hearing to pick up.

If… If she won’t kill me, I’ll just have to let myself die.

I scream, as much as my voice will let me, thrashing and kicking my useless legs as much as I can. With each movement, a shot of searing pain hits me from my arms, and I’m pretty sure they’re broken, but I don’t care anymore. It’s already over for me, what’s a little more pain? No tears come from my eyes, having dried up long ago. And my weak voice doesn’t last long, choking out with not even a minute. But it did something. I feel myself getting weaker with each kick, each pointless hit of my hands against the cold walls. 

She didn’t hear. Good.

My vision blurs, and I laugh silently, not even having enough of a voice left to do it aloud. My pain is starting to numb, and it’s becoming harder to think clearly. It’s… It's working. It’s working!

...Something gets caught in my throat, and I choke out a scream. I don’t- I don’t know what it is, but whatever it is, it hurts. It hurts so much . It hurts so much I can’t think about anything else, thoughts of my plan and my success fly out of the window as the lump gets bigger and more painful . My vision is nearly gone now, I can’t think about that, all I see is pain, all I hear is pain, all I feel is pain. ...No…

…

I feel anger . Anger, sadness, betrayal, fear, regret, everything I've felt down here hits me like an avalanche. And as I feel it, the lump stuck in my throat becomes more and more agonizing, more choking. I can’t breathe anymore, it’s only a matter of time.

Everything starts to go dark.

The pain begins to fade.

Even my racing thoughts go quiet.

And then…

Silence.

Chapter Text

...And then I wake up. It’s… So cold. I can’t feel anything but cold. I can’t even feel my injuries anymore. I’m- I’m supposed to be dead . Why am I not dead? Why am I still here ?

I clutch my chest. Maybe if I just- breathe in and out I can figure out what’s going on. I just- I just need to think clearly and-

... I can move my arms. Why can I move my arms? They were chained in place! What is going on!? Did… Did the chains break? I- I still can’t see anything. It’s so dark, and so cold. I can’t even tell if I’m on the wall or the floor… 

…

...I don’t have time to get my bearings as suddenly I’m hit with a wave of drowsiness, and the world seems to fade away yet again.

*.+ ~ —————————— ~ +.*

Everything is dark.

It’s… Peaceful, strangely enough. Like it’s protecting me. I want to stay here. I want to stay here and not have to leave, not have to worry, not have to think . Maybe… Maybe this is death. If it is, it’s not so bad.

I just hope… This is enough to satisfy her. That she won’t hurt anyone else.

I close my eyes.

“ Wake up. ”

I open my eyes again. Did- did someone just speak?

“ You are not finished. ”

“ Who’s… Who’s there? ” I look around for the source of the voice, but there is only darkness. “ Where are you? ”

“ There is still much… You need to do. You are not finished. ”

“ But I- I died, didn’t I? How can I do anything?? ” I feel something, like someone is putting their hand on my head, but there is no one there. 

“ Death is not always the end, Little Prince. Sometimes, it is a beginning. Now… It is time for you to wake up. ”

With that, everything goes white-

*.+ ~ —————————— ~ +.*

-And I wake up. I look around, finally able to see. ...As expected, I’m still in the cellar. But from how everything seems higher up, at least I’m not on the wall anymore. Was… Was that just a dream? I can’t… I cant feel my injuries anymore- but I still feel hungry, starving . And I can still feel the cold- I- I need to get out of here.

I lift myself up, trying to stand, only to fall right back on my face. ...Right… She made sure I’d never do that again… Dragging it will have to be. 

It’s a slow process, but eventually I get to the door outside. And, with a lot of effort, get them open. And… I’m immediately knocked backwards by a burst of cold. That- that shouldn’t have been enough to do that. But I don’t have time to think too much about it. I still need to get away. So I brace myself, and pull myself back up the stairs.

Outside, it’s almost impossible to see. A blizzard is roaring, how did I not hear this from inside, and it’s so cold, it’s too cold , I can’t stay for long. I’ll die. I- I can’t die. Not here. Not yet. I have to make sure everyone is safe. But… It's so cold, I can’t see anything. There’s no way I’ll find anyone in these conditions. I need to- I need to get to safety, wait out the storm, then I can search.

The crawl through the snow is agonizing . Every part of me is screaming to stop, but I can’t. I need to get out of here. 

I barely make it out.

But… The snow, the cold, the storm… It just stops . As if there was some kind of invisible barrier, keeping it from going any further. And with that cutoff comes clarity. Now that I can see properly, I need to check over my condition. I need to tend to my wounds. But first… Rest. I’m so tired...

I lay my head on the ground, and drift off once more. 

*.+ ~ —————————— ~ +.*

...When I wake up again, I don’t know how much time has passed. The sky is covered by dark clouds, obscuring the sky completely. But… It helped. I feel at least a bit stronger, and less exhausted. Time… To see just how bad my injuries are.

I breathe in, bracing myself for the worst, and look down at myself.

I nearly pass out again from what I see.

My skin- is purple . And where my legs were is a tail. What… What happened? What did she do to me ?? I feel tears going down my face, this can’t be real, I’m dreaming, I have to be dreaming. This can’t be real. I pinch myself. It hurts, but nothing happens.

No. No. I won’t accept this. I can’t accept this. 

I look around, my attention falling onto a nearby rock. I- I hesitate, before grabbing it. If pinching won’t wake me up, maybe something more extreme will. I lift it up, and bring it down onto my arm. Again, it hurts, but… Nothing. No. No. No. I refuse to believe this.

I lift the rock up above myself, and, as hard as I can… Slam it onto my head. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts …

And as has been happening so much recently, the world goes dark again.

I wake up, and nothing has changed.

This is real. I- I can’t deny it any longer. I have to accept it, I don’t even know what it is I’m accepting. Did I… Did I really die back there? Am I dead? But… This isn’t the afterworld. Is this what that voice meant by I’m not finished? Am… Am I still here to make sure everyone is safe?

But- I can’t. What will they think of me?? I couldn’t even save myself from dying. I couldn’t even stop myself from hurting her , hurting her so badly she felt like she needed to do what she did. I’m a failure . 

...No. I can’t let that get in the way. I have to find them . I have to make sure they’re safe.

…

...I need to find a way to move that isn’t dragging myself around.

Chapter Text

….It was time to get some things figured out.

The ghostly prince looked down at his newly discovered tail. What was he supposed to do with that ?? Slither like a snake?? He didn’t know how to do that!

No. Calm down. No, of course I don’t know, that’s why I’m trying to figure it out, He thought. I ’ll be… I’ll be fine. Um… Ghosts can float, right? That's… Something they can do? Well, it’s worth a try… 

He breathed in and focused, closing his eyes. After a few seconds, he opened them up again, and- success! Well, that was easy… Okay, now back to the task at hand…

He looked around. The clouds still obscured the sky, but the plants- at least the ones not covered in snow- seemed fine. That was good, at least… And hopefully it meant the other villages hadn’t been subject to her fit of rage.

Maybe someone from one of them could help.

He made his way down the long path from Subcon, to the long stone bridge. He remembered when that had been wooden, until- best not to think about that. Shaking his head, the prince kept on going.

*.+ ~ —————————— ~ +.*

It took far longer than he remembered to reach the bridge- abnormally longer . The path had seemed to just get longer, and longer, but eventually, he made it. Looking back, it seemed no farther than usual… Did the storm cause that? It… Shouldn’t have. It shouldn’t have been able to. Then again…

Inhaling, he turned away from the paradoxical path, looking into the forest. The greenery would be a nice change from the cold darkness of the cellar, even if he did have something important to do. 

He took a moment to just… Stand there, taking everything in. The cool air felt nice on his… Skin? And the smells of the forest comforted him after all that time of nothing but dust and blood. It was almost nice . 

He had often come out into the forest when he needed to focus, or just wanted some time in nature… He could watch the stars for hours on clear nights. Vanessa had never really understood… Maybe that’s why- no, no. Don’t think about that. He remembered the constellations-

Late in the night, the normally quiet forest was disturbed by two voices. “Come on, the stars aren’t going to be out forever!” “Calm down, we still have the whole night!”

Two brothers ran between the trees, the older clutching a telescope in his arms. 

“The same place as always?” “Obviously!”

They reached a small pond surrounded by rocks, and only a sparse few trees around. The sky was clearly visible above- the perfect spot for stargazing. The two boys began to set up, one placing the telescope, and the other, younger one setting up two blankets.

“Are you ready?” “Just a little bit more… I need to get the perfect view.”

“Slowpoke!” “Impatient.”

This went on for hours- the two alternating between either fussing over or looking through the telescope, and laying on the blankets, talking and looking at the unfiltered sky.

Of course, this would have to end, and eventually, a voice rang out-

-The cawing of a bird snapped him out of his memories. Right.

He resumed his trek through the forest, the manor- and the wretched storm around it- slowly vanishing behind him.

He wondered how they’d react… Had they searched for him when he’d been taken? Did they even notice ?- No, no. Of course they’d notice. It would be hard to not notice the leader of a village go missing, even if he’d never taken the title of king- he felt stupid that the thought even crossed his mind.

And now, here he was, back again… Albeit, not quite the same. Would they believe it was him? Maybe I should prepare some way to prove that I’m me. Though, what exactly, he wasn’t quite sure. 

And once he proved that… He’d need to convince them to help. Of course, the villages weren’t always on… Friendly terms…

Subcon hadn’t been his original home, though he’d moved there to be with Vanessa on her request. His village of origin, Outskirts, had been on good terms with them- in some part due to how close they were geographically.

The southern village Vivida was on… Slightly less good terms, but still amicable enough. They had sometimes traded, mostly for crops that could only be grown in their own respective locations. 

Next was Greenshade, who they would occasionally trade artisan goods with.

Bellchime, built over the swamp in the north, was rather isolated- so they were pretty much neutral to each other. Though, apparently they’d had some kind of conflict years upon years ago… 

Near the swamp was Cliffside, who they’d had a somewhat shaky alliance with.

Then Riverside, who they often traded with for fish, giving crops and tree-growing fruits in return.

In the east was Sunburst, who they… Well… Didn’t see eye to eye with , to say the least.

And finally, there was Hallamour, who they had a strong alliance with- second only to Subcon village. 

Subcon was out of the picture, of course… And Outskirts would likely have been covered in clouds. His next best bet was Hallamour, and fortunately, the long distance meant it would undoubtedly be safe- of course, the journey there would also take some time due to that as well.

Preparing himself for the times ahead… The prince set off.