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Narumiya Mei was many things. A disaster who liked to catwalk in 8 centimeters heels and an expensive white suit around the neighborhood just because he needed attention; an overgrown adult who handled his responsibilities like how normal citizens handled guns, with the delicacy that can make the trigger went off any moment and started some random crossfire. And overall, he was a very much, very much annoying, obnoxious, smutty brat even when reaching maturity
Normally, his family, one of the Tokyo Fantastic Four - Inashiro; would ignore him in favor to protect their sanity, or protect whatever remains of what they called sanity. Even their boss, Kunitomo, had already given up and resigned to the back of the family, drinking sparkling water on his porch and shutting his eyes at any shit fits Mei loved to throw for the rest of his retirement. That was what people called peacefulness, although some members of the family asked themselves that was because their heir had broken the boss, or he really was too done with everything and just waited for the day Mei finally grew (it would never come, but nobody wanted to acknowledge that)
Nevertheless, the man had reached the age when he would agree with anything that was happening around the house. Even when it was something scientifically incorrect like saying one plus one was five, but no one should question the remaining patience of a war veteran, especially when it was regarding his nephew
Thus, whatever nonsense Mei said was, yes, definitely, absolutely legit in the Inashiro household. If he wanted a pony, Mei would get his pony. And if he wanted to have a party to celebrate his twentieth birthday, it would be the absolute best one out there
And being the absolute best one out there meant they had to invite all mafia families in Tokyo to come to the party, and that also meant they had to invite the Seidou, the motherfucking archenemy Seidou to their party. Did people forget the fact the two families hated each other or were they just insane when they wrote the invitations?
What a recipe for catastrophe
"Y'all ready to kick some asses?" Jun howled from where he was, standing before the Inashiro's mansion gate with his bazooka in hands
"Fucking yeah!!" The men yelled and they marched inside with Kuramochi doing beatboxing in the background, making the BGM for their arrival
They kicked the door down, being extremely extra, as to suit the host's normal behavior and manners, or just because they could, and entered the party with their heads held high
Thanked goodness Jun-san didn't fire his bazooka, Miyuki thought when he passed the door. Because if the man actually had done it, Miyuki couldn't fathom the among of work he needed to deal with the following day to excuse the men's outrageous judgment. He had been dealing with paperwork nonstop, with the minimum of sleep and rest, just because some of his men thought it would be a good idea to blow up a shopping center while looking for presents for the host
Not that he wasn't already having a headache, since the image of Seidou in others' minds was now perfectly ruined due to people's lack of fashion sense and atmosphere reading ability. Because normal people who went to a high-class birthday party would usually wear fancy suits or elegant outfits, not dressing like your local thugs with dirty hoodies and shit-smearing sneakers
Miyuki blamed everything on whoever's head thought up this bizarre idea. The only ones who dressed up normally in this family were him, Chris, and Sawamura; even Tetsuya had found a shabby T-shirt to waltz inside the house with his beige short on and socks and sandals
He would pretend he didn't know them for the rest of the night as the men raided the buffet table like they were some hungry animals, or yelled at other guests with their expressive Kansai-dialect profanity. Miyuki fell back into the crowd and wandered away from the shame, that until a voice spoke up from behind him
"You men sure are fired up"
He turned around to see a pair of infuriating familiar blue eyes, and a cocky grin that was very much asking for an uppercut. But Miyuki wasn't Kuramochi, so he kept his adequate manner
"I'm sorry for my men's behaviors" He answered, looking directly back at Mei and returned his grin with a smirk "They just want to celebrate your birthday in styles, Mei"
"Oh, why thank you! Never thought the guys would be that much considered, not when you came in with a missile launcher in your hand"
"You know how people in Seidou are. We love bazooka like how we love ruining people's estates"
Miyuki made his remark back, although it was not so really. However, he remembered the last time Mei came, Jun had been teaching Sawamura how to kill a person with his weapon of choice and he very well decided the Inashiro's heir was a potential target for the young brunette to practice with
He just reminded a little insight into his family that he knew Mei was not very pleased about. And as a cue, the smile was wiped off immediately and his face turned into a scowl
Even when Mei was wearing his luxurious white suit, with a reddish silk necktie and... he still wore his heels but okay, taking no notice of that, Miyuki wouldn't pry on his height complex. The blonde still looked very much like his normal conceited self, even though he supposed to come to his age by now
"Wow, Seidou must have been very devoted to their lifestyles that you guys are willing to bazooka people down?"
No, only toward the people they disliked
Miyuki snickered
"That is why people call adults' lifestyles, Mei. I'm not expecting a person like you to understand that"
"And what is that supposed to mean?" The blonde raised his brow and looked at Miyuki judging "The last time I checked, I now legally can do whatever the normal adult can"
"Like splashing your glasses on people's suits when they complimented you?"
"Saying a person's head is bigger than his shoes was not considered as a compliment"
The previous time Miyuki came to these kinds of parties and saw Mei's selection of leather high heel boots, it was definitely not what they called normal business shoes. Besides, he had been nice enough to point out how heavy the boot must have been for Mei to drag around, along with his massive head and his polished ego to go. It looked tiresome, but hey the brunette was trying and asking his whatsoever enemy if he was exhausted, just to receive a glass filled with sugary liquid down his white shirt and a glare that sparked fire
(Nothing got burned in the end, except half of Inashiro's mansion of course)
"Well, learn to accept criticisms more then" Especially about your height "That's what adults do"
"I don't think you have much said about this" Mei's cockiness was coming back, and his lips stretched out to a grin again "You're only older than me, like two months?"
"That is our difference"
"But have you had the fun of adultness yet Kazuya?" Mei said, as his hands grabbed two cups of sprinkling liquid on the table nearby "Because it seems that you have never enjoyed it yet"
"I have plenty of fun" Miyuki hummed as he took the offering glass in the blonde's hand, just out of formality "My work is fine, salary is good and my family treats me well"
"By well, you mean wrecking my house and leaving the aftermatch for you to deal with?"
Not long after his inquiry, Miyuki heard the sound of gunshots from the other side of the room, followed by a crowd's cheering, furniture breaking, windows shattering, and a burst of unmistakable hyena laughter. Right, of course
"I will send you the compensation tomorrow"
As long as Masuko didn't start stripping and having a muscle contest with Carlos, or people didn't encourage arms wrestling competition between Jun and Yamaoka, or Chris didn't slaughter anyone because they tried to come closer to Sawamura. Although he knew it would likely happen, so Miyuki said skewed it and toasted with the birthday boy here to drink his humiliation anyway
If it was just a glass then everything would be alright
(Famous last words, quoted)
*
You knew these kinds of clique scenes, in which the main character from a famous manga somehow found himself stuck in a situation that was ridiculously laughable and risque. Waking up in an unfamiliar room, naked with only the boxer on, head pounding like being pressed in a hydraulic compressor, and certainly not having any recollection of the previous night's events or the mass of blanket laying by his side
Miyuki had laughed when the first time Sawamura had shown him the manga, saying something along the line like 'No way this can happen in real life' or 'You need to be a special kind of idiot to get yourself in something like this'. Conceivable he was wrong, Miyuki wanted to eat his words right back as he was now sitting on the bed, lamenting for his life decisions and his actions last night
He didn't think the liquor would be that strong, yet after some shots and people starting beating off each other to fight for Sawamura's attention, Miyuki couldn't think of any further. He could only remember that he had gone and gotten his refill, and the rest was a blank
Had he accidentally hooked up with somebody and led them to bed? No, no, let's not jump to the conclusion. This wasn't some sort of comedy sci-fi fictional work about a freelancer who liked to do parodies of famous shows and witty gags. This was Miyuki's life as an honorable mafia, a person who never made - never should have made - a mistake as stupid as this. Because this wasn't the disastrous life of Miyuki K., that line was to tell Kuramochi's tale
Maybe they were just too tired because all the drinking and people 'partying' were too much, somehow found themselves in a vacant room and passed out on the bed together. Just that, it might be just that, Miyuki thought positively
Or not, because the moment the mass moved and a familiar mop of blonde hair pecked out of the blanket made his heart drop. Actually dropped, as he fell down the bed when Mei sat up and he could see the collective bruises on the blonde's skin perfectly clear
Mei turned to the noises, his eyes met Miyuki's for a moment before they widened. His face paled visibly, and he flipped his blanket up, checking the underneath. Miyuki could guess the state of nudity there already
"This must be some sort of nightmare"
The next ten minutes Miyuki spent was to see Mei freaking out, proceeding with slamming the bathroom door tight and locking himself inside, screaming or crying or tearing down anything in there, Miyuki wasn't quite sure but he could vastly make out the hurling sounds
If he was as dramatic as the blonde was, maybe Miyuki would do the same. But he wasn't, so Miyuki got up from where he was, silently collected his clothes and redressed himself
He stood awkwardly by the bed when Mei emerged from the bathroom, looking less pale but still disheveled nevertheless. His face was also wet, probably because Mei had splashed some water on it. He turned away to dress himself up and didn't spare a single glance at the other man, or any word to follow
Somehow Miyuki suddenly felt like he should apologize, for whatever that had happened last night, even though the thought of doing that felt so freaking horrid. Because he did not, certainly, see the man in front of him in such light
"Um- I'm s-sorry..." Smooth, Miyuki, smooth "I don't really... remember what happened last night..."
Mei faced him once more, although after a note his expression turned to a disgusted one and he looked mildly like he was about to vomit again. Which was rude, Miyuki also wanted to throw up at the thought he had done something as regrettable as... touching Mei
"Good then" Mei answered him, through gritted teeth and probably damaged pride "Because I don't either"
"That's... convenient" For neither of them to recall it, but whatever. Miyuki didn't want to pry on things what was out of his proficiency "We don't remember anything"
"Let's... keep it that way" Mei straightened his shirt, and Miyuki suppressed a groan when he saw some marks also spotted on the blonde's back "Nothing happened last night. We just passed out coincidentally in the same room and in the same bed. The thing was just a misunderstanding and bad timing" He stopped for a moment before added "No homo"
"Right, no homo"
Because that was what adults did, pretending that they had not just made a bad decision in their wasted states, and swept any mistakes under the rug to go on with their day
Or half of their day, because it was noon now. Just how much Miyuki had drunk that he had slept through his biorhythm clock, and why none of his men called him and woke him up from this ordeal? Even when they just partied the night before, that didn't mean it was legit to escape paperwork
Not that even mattered, since Miyuki was the only one who would do the work anyway
He was about to walk down the grand staircase, which he realized was the one that led to the main hall of Inashiro's mansion, when both of them stopped dead on their track. Because what was more surprising than seeing your own family and your rival's one, standing in the corridor in suits and fancy getups, staring at them before bursting into cheers and shrieks
"Congratulations!"
"Finally!"
"Took you guys long enough! We have been waiting for you since the morning"
It was very bizarre, as both of them stood there on top of the staircase, rigid and speechless because brains were not able to process the information it was receiving. And Miyuki died inside more when one sunny Sawamura came to take both of their hands, saying
"I'm so happy for you, Miyuki-senpai! Mei-san! I hope you guys can have a fulfilled future together"
It resembled like a sound of destruction, awfully like the noises of bazooka booming, or grenades going off, or the sound of the wooden railing in Mei's hand was being crushed under the blonde's hand pressure, Miyuki felt like his whole world collapsed
The next moment, he found himself in the middle of the family and they were all applauding for something he couldn't comprehend. Something of being a couple, finding peace in their recently developed relationship, or the fact now they were one competitor off of Sawamura's courtship. Chris even placed his hand on Miyuki's shoulder and gave him an approving smile
"Why are you here?" At least his brain was starting up enough for Miyuki to ask why people were here
"You didn't come back in the morning" Chris answered him "So we came to Inashiro to check on you. Found something very interesting"
Fuck his life
"Our Boss is now talking with Kunitomo-san" The older man continued "They are discussing the possibilities of our two families united, through negotiation and political relationship"
"Relationship of what?"
"I know you guys are still young, some youngsters inevitably want to try to achieve the nirvana. But every action is always having its responsibility that follows and I expect you to perform your role in the pact"
"What do you mean?"
"You are getting engaged, Miyuki. To the Inashiro's heir"
"What?! How is that possible, how is that ridiculous marriage proposal acceptable, Chris-senpai?!"
"We are the Mafia, we find the way"
"Please don't use your privilege on irrelevant things like this"
But his protest died out in the mid of Jun's howling, Tetsuya's aura raging, and Kuramochi's private DisneyTM's classics playlist on karaoke, because what was the better way to celebrate your boss's engagement than singing his ears off with these romantic cheesy songs
"A whole new world, a new fantastic point of view, Miyuki!" Kuramochi screamed through his mic "You are officially fucked! Your dick is finally clear of cobwebs!"
Unbelievable, Miyuki groaned as he facepalmed. His fuck-up was more severe than he thought. To make the matter worse, all of the Seidou men were far too happy to laugh at Miyuki's demise, and they out straight shot confetti at his face while playing wedding march too
The Inashiro weren't that far when they were also delighted because their heir had now officially belonged to some ass and he finally took his responsibilities properly. And they were handling each other money like a not-so-underground betting had been going on between them, and the winners were laughing loudly due to the jackpot they were making
Except for Shirakawa, as the red-haired walked up to him irately. His hand was holding some cash and he grunted
"How much?"
"Excuse me?"
"I am asking, how much was last night? I'm paying you to redeem the events"
"What the fuck?!" Miyuki swatted the money Shirakawa threw at him "I'm not an escort"
"I don't care. Accept the money and call off the deal, or trade yourself with Sawamura"
"That is not how negotiation works. And I don't need you to tell me to call this shit off" Miyuki swatted the money away again when Shirakawa tried to stuff it in his hands "Put the goddamn thing away"
"He is right, put your money away, Shirakawa" Harada came in between them "Don't be rude to our guest"
Miyuki had thought for a moment that perhaps Inashiro's right-hand man was a rational person, who despised Miyuki enough that he would find some ways to help Mei call off the troth
"If we keep Miyuki by our side long enough, when we get rid of him, our family will have a valid reason to bring Sawamura here. The alliance between two families based on a political relationship, when there is a missing spouse on one side, will bond to make a replacement"
Or not. Miyuki somehow subconsciously forgot the fact Inashiro was the biggest group in Tokyo whose industry was human trafficking, and Harada's verdict was always unreasonably absurd
"You are right! Masa-san!" Suddenly the blonde, who stood out-of-character silently by Miyuki's side the whole accommodation, spoke up. His face brightened and lips widened from ear to ear "What a nice celebration to have!"
Maybe the tension had broken Mei's brain or he was a mad man since the beginning, for the next moment, Mei pulled out his gun to point its muzzle up Miyuki's chin. He pulled the trigger in a swift motion, although the smile didn't reach his eyes, and the next words he uttered made Miyuki's stomach turn
"Happy marriage to your death, Kazuya"
Narumiya Mei was many things. A disaster, an overgrown adult, and very much of an annoying, obnoxious, smutty brat even when he reached maturity, who purposely set up a mafia war between the two biggest Mafia families of Tokyo while smiling like a cold-blooded tyrant
Regardless, he was also, from then on, Miyuki Kazuya's fiance
*
The night was nice, Kuramochi rated this night 10 out of 10 in terms of destructive and chaotic. Still, it wouldn't be a good night if Kuramochi didn't do his daily Miyuki's teasing. Knowing the brunette, he would probably stay in some remote spot, away from people and being his lonely self. Miyuki was such a party-pooper that Kuramochi always had the need to drag his sorry ass out, not because he wanted to humiliate him further than what they were doing. Not at all
However, when Kuramochi found him, the green-haired hadn't expected to see him with another companion by his side. More precisely, he found Miyuki fell asleep on a certain blondie's shoulder. Mei was sitting on a sofa, back straightened up as much as he could while supporting the weight of the sleeping man, and the said sleeping man had gone too far into the dreamland, unconcerned about all the noises and arguing happening in front of him
"Narumiya?" He opened his mouth to call for attention
"Huh?" The blonde's eyes glazed over, no doubt he was drunk "Kuramocchin?"
"What are you doing?"
"Kazuya was, drinkin' n' slept on me. Can't move"
That explained very little, but Kuramochi didn’t press on. Kuramochi knew his boss was sleep-deprived, he just didn't think Miyuki would pass out in the middle of the party, with the host with him out of everyone. Probably his control over the lack of sleep had slipped off, and he was out. There was no hope in waking Miyuki up after he passed out due to alcohol, and he wasn't that nice to carry the drunken back
He scooped the man up, off the blonde’s shoulder and Mei relaxed instantly. The blonde stood up wobbly before he grabbed on Kuramochi shelve like a new-born fawn
This was so out-of-character, Kuramochi never thought of the blonde as the kind of silent type drunker, he thought he would be more of the kind of doing thing embarrassing to himself like stripping himself bare or joining in some stupid betting or doing something outrageous like spamming meme T-pose to assert his dominance, like most of his family was doing right now
"Do you guys have some guest room that I can dump him on?" Kuramochi asked
"On 'second" Mei slurred "Up there"
Mei led them up the stairs, amid the disorder of the party. It seemed no one noticed their missing and the three of them stopped in front of a vacant bedroom. Kuramochi curtly dumped Miyuki on the bed after Mei opened the door, he turned to the blonde when he was done. Mei sat on the bed on the other side, but his lids were shut and he looked drowsy
"Do you want to go back to your bedroom?"
He offered out of pity, seeing Mei not being himself was weirder than the normal heels the blonde always wore
"Nuh need" Mei mumbled before he flopped down the bed "I'd be here" And with that, the Inashiro's heir went out like a light
The scene was somewhat wholesome and refined, although Kuramochi's mischievous mind suddenly popped up with an idea. An idea of some spicy photos and probably the best hookup's plan he ever thought up
Time to make a man out of Miyuki
(Not to get him wrong, this was for the man’s own good too)