Work Text:
It took four words to break Lena Luthor.
They kept ringing in her ears even louder than the gunshots. She should have known. If it had been any other person than Kara Danvers, she would have known. But Lex was right. Denial is a very powerful thing. Especially when one is trying to deny feelings rooted deep within oneself.
“Lena?”
She didn’t even look up from the papers in front of her. “Get out.” It took all her strength not to shout these words.
“Excuse me?”
“I said: Get. Out.”
“Lena, are you alright?”
“No!”, Lena shouted, slammed the papers on the desk and stood up. Alex winced. Good. Lena wanted her to experience so much more than that little fright. She met Alex’s eyes with a cold, unforgiving stare.
The agent tilted her head ever so slightly, trying to figure out how she could diffuse a hate loaded situation that she hadn’t expected to encounter at all. She neither moved, nor averted her eyes. Any other person would have melted under the intensity of her glance. But not Lena.
Alex sensed that something had changed. Something so profound that it had even shaken Lena Luthor’s core.
“You know, don’t you?”
Alex’s words lingered between them, like an invisible wall.
“…What?”
“Kara’s secret. You know. That’s why you left last night. That’s why you refused to even look her in the eyes. How?”
Lena’s knuckles turned white, as she tried to snap her desk in two. Her eyes wandered around the office, trying not to meet Alex’s glance again. Lena had wanted to keep it a secret. To find a way to repay Kara the favor of treating her like a villain and not a close friend. But the way Alex had said it…
“Lena! How did you find out?”
Lena snarled: “What? You don’t think I’m clever enough to figure out why my friend always vanishes just before Supergirl appears? Or why Supergirl always seemed to be just a little too focused on making sure that we’d get along? Not to mention how weird all of you acted every time I came close to seeing through your lies!”
Alex kept shaking her head: “Stop that. You know as well as me that you are more than clever enough to figure this out. But you didn’t. Because you were in denial.”
“In denial about what? That my friend is a superhero? I am a Luthor, Alex, this is not half as shocking for me as you might think it is. I- What?”
Alex didn’t break eye contact for even one second. “In denial about your feelings for her.”
One could have heard a pin drop. Something in the way Alex had said it let Lena pause. The heiress slowly took a step back and sat down. “How long have you known?”, Lena whispered.
“One by one”, Alex replied and walked up to the desk. “Kara’s secret. How did you find out?”
“Lex told me.” Lena’s voice was almost toneless. “Your turn.”
It took a few seconds until Alex was able to comprehend what the other woman had just said. "He knows?” Her hand shot up to the alarm watch and she was almost out the door before Lena could reply: “He knew.”
Alex stopped dead in her tracks. One look was enough to tell her what she needed to know. “You killed him.”
Tears started to fill Lena’s eyes.
“You owe me an answer.” Lena looked up.
Alex sighed: “For some time.”
“You never said a word.”
“Would you have wanted me to?”
That drew a small smile on Lena’s lips. “I guess not.”
Silence fell over the room as both women tried to work out what to do. Lena’s hands were shaking even worse than when she had aimed that revolver at the only person that had always been cruelly honest to her. Especially when she had wanted him to lie more than anything else.
“Why did she keep it from me?” Lena wanted to sound strong, unbothered, but when the words had left her mouth, the first tears started running down her cheeks.
Alex closed her eyes: “She wanted to protect you.”
“Yeah, right”, Lena sneered and tried to blink through her tears. “Because as we all know lying is the best way to do so.” Embarrassed she dried the tears with her hand.
Alex took a few steps towards Lena: “I-“
Lena just shook her head and picked up her pen: “You came here to check on me. Despite everything, I appreciate that. You’ve fulfilled your due diligence. Now leave.”
Her eyes on the papers, Lena listened to Alex’s footsteps as she hesitantly walked to the door. With her hand on the doorknob, she stopped. “Just so you know: She wanted to tell you. After almost every mission she would tell me that today was the day. It was me who prevented her from doing so by reminding her how dangerous that would be. How her enemies would target you to get to her. She always wanted to protect you. And your feelings. Even if that meant that she would have to keep her identity from you.”
The door fell shut behind Alex. And left Lena with nothing more to hold on to than the knowledge that her world had somehow shifted forever.
It didn’t take long for Supergirl to land on the balcony. The door was unlocked, as always. Still, she waited outside for Lena to notice her.
“If you are waiting for an invitation, you’re not getting one. Leave me alone.” Lena spoke no louder than if Supergirl had been standing right in front of her, but she knew that the superhero was listening.
The glass door slid open. Carefully Supergirl made a few steps towards Lena, who still refused to look at her.
“I talked to Alex.”
“Of course you did. Did she tell you anything of interest?”, Lena asked.
Kara knew better than to ask Lena why she didn’t tell her that she knew her secret. Not when it was she who had started using lies as a mean of protection. Of keeping people away.
“I should have told you…”, Supergirl began, but Lena gave her no chance to finish.
“Yes, you should have.”
“I am really, really sorry. But there is something you need to understand.” She softly placed her hands on top of Lena’s. Only now the heiress looked up. Kara almost stumbled backwards. Lena’s eyes were filled with tears of pain and anger.
“And what would that be?”, Lena asked shakily, not even trying to hide how much the other woman had hurt her.
Kara took a deep breath: “My whole life, I have been protecting people. And I realized that responsibility grew immeasurably whenever I told someone my secret. You know why? Because from that point onward, everything that happened to them was my fault. My responsibility. And with you… I knew I couldn’t bear losing you. Not when I had only myself to blame.”
The raw honesty with which these words were spoken made Lena shudder.
“You were… are the only person who I can be just Kara with. The only person to not expect anything from me but being a friend. I am not asking for your forgiveness, Lena. I am asking you for a chance to-“
“I don’t need to hear a speech from you, Kara”, Lena said and stood up, now eye to eye with the superhero. “I know why you did this. I know you had good intentions. But that doesn’t make it any easier right now.”
Sheepishly Kara wiped away some tears from her face. It was the first time that Lena had ever seen Supergirl cry. No. Not Supergirl. This was Kara. And without even thinking about it, Lena made a step towards her and pulled Kara into a tight embrace.
Both women were crying. Both knew that it wouldn’t be easy, but that they had a chance now that the lies were being broken down. When they parted again, their cheeks were rosy and their eyes red. But for Lena, it felt like for the first time she saw Kara Zor-El. Not just Kara, and not just Supergirl, but a little bit of both.
“Do you-“ Kara bit her lip. “Is there a chance that…” She took a deep breath and asked in between sobs: “Can we work through this?”
Lena smiled softly. And with tears in her eyes, she answered: “I hope so. Because – I love you, Kara Danvers.”
It took four words to break Lena Luthor. But five words were enough to start her on a path of recovery. A path of forgiveness.
Five words were all it took for Lena Luthor to save herself.