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He doesn’t like it.
He doesn’t like the underwhelming silence that accompanies you wherever you go. He doesn’t like the half-hearted smiles you give the crew when they talk to you. He doesn’t like the way your food goes untouched practically every evening. Most of all, he doesn’t like the tears that well up in your eyes when you think nobody’s watching. Whenever that happens, Zoro just wants to run up to you and clear away all your worries. Whether he does that by fighting, yelling, or hugging -- he knows that it’s not that easy. He still wishes it was.
If Luffy weren’t the one, he would’ve beaten the hell out of Crocodile all on his own. He knows that the rest of the crew would’ve done the exact same, perhaps save for Robin. He would’ve cut him up and let him rot in the streets of Alubarna, had the decision been made by him. However, he’s not the type to live with regrets. And he knows that if he keeps thinking about seeking revenge for you, he would drive himself crazy.
Sighing, he leans against the wooden pillar on the deck of the Going Merry. It was a warm night; perfect for a nap. He had finished his dinner early and decided that with a full belly, he would sleep a while before heading up to the crow’s nest. The shitty cook had broiled a sea-chicken soup that night.
The door to the kitchen creaks open meekly, a shaky frame exiting the room. Zoro lazily opens an eye, though he doesn’t need to. He knows your presence from a mile away. You haven’t been getting much healthier lately.
You take trembling steps towards the railing, the world swirling around in your vision. You were bleeding. You were bleeding again. There was a sickly trail of red, red blood dripping down the side of your leg and his hook -- that damn hook. It was dragging along your flesh, the sharpened tip of it --
Clutching the railing of the ship, the few contents of your stomach poured over as you heaved. Zoro sat up straighter in attention, evaluating if you need help. Wiping the spit from your mouth with a bandaged hand, you felt slightly better after vomiting. Not that much, though.
Sinking down onto your heels, you tried to steady yourself. Everything was off-kilter and wrong . You weren’t locked up there anymore. You didn’t have shackles binding your wrists and ankles. There were no open wounds on your body. So why did it still feel like it?
No. No. No. No. You were going back. You were going back. Clutching the fabric of your shirt, your breaths came out in great heaves, struggling to intake enough air. You were losing the battle and you were going back.
“Hey.” Zoro’s gruff voice is like a bell ringing into your ear. Were you still on the ground?
The gentle rocking of the Going Merry suddenly feels less nauseous and more reasonable, almost like a mother swaying her babe within her arms. The air around you was no longer quite as putrid as you had initially thought. As your breathing begins to steady, so does your vision.
“Hey,” he says again, this time squatting down beside you. You look up at him, blinking slowly. “You wanna come up to the crow’s nest with me?” The swordsman offers his hand to you. It takes a moment for you to process, but you think that you do. Nodding, you take his hand and you can tell that when he helps you up, he is intentionally softer in his movements.
“Thank you.” He hums in response, releasing his grip. Zoro heads over to the rope ladder, climbing up in a few short movements.
“Can you climb up on ya own?” His head peeks over the edge of the nest, which looks surprisingly comical. You stifle a laugh and shake your head. Taking the bristly cords within your own hands, you climb up a bit slower than he did. Ignoring the height, you hop over the side of the wooden nest and slide into a sitting position. He nods in silent approval, taking note of the slight recovery in his head. The marimo doesn’t really know what to do. At least you don’t look as sad as before.
You look up at him in curiosity, surprised that he was the one to give you an invitation. Smiling thoughtfully to yourself, you feel grateful for him reaching out.
Zoro’s hip leans against the wall-edge as he peers out over the deck and further into the sea, looking for anything of interest. The rubber man has finished his dinner and ran out of the kitchen, looking all around for you. Zoro could even hear his whines from up there.
“She’s up here!” He barks down at Luffy, gaining the attention of their captain. He can’t really make out what the boy was saying, since Luffy was mostly waving his arms around and shouting. “How do you… feel?” You blink up in attention, his question snapping you out of your daze. He’s being surprisingly considerate.
“I’m alright.” Zoro’s face remains neutral besides the slight, almost unnoticeable, furrow of his eyebrows.
The air is silent besides the waves crashing and birds flying past. A soft wind ruffles his green hair and the light from the sun is slowly disappearing. You curl into a tighter ball since the air also gains a distinct chill.
“A lot happened when I was… You know,” you take a shaky breath in, making yourself string jumbled thoughts into sentences. He nods in understanding. “I thought he was going to kill me. I thought that I was going to die there. And I know -- I know if Luffy were in my position, he wouldn’t have been afraid. But I’m not as brave as him.” Zoro notices the tremor in your voice but doesn’t comment, instead deciding to continue listening. He can’t offer much consolation but he’ll be damned if he can’t even listen to the concerns of one of his nakama.
You lift up your shirt and at the same time pull down the hem to your shorts, staring down at the scabbed tissue. Many individual holes that resemble grains of sand went underneath the surface. Just touching the scab results in spasms of pain.
“He would turn his hands into sand and dig them under my skin.” You drop your shirt and Zoro averts his eyes, his grip on the railing tightening. He doesn’t want to crush the wood but he doesn’t know how else to express his anger. He leans down, the shadows over his eyes darkening. Instead of lashing out physically, he sits down beside you. Zoro is sitting down closer than he normally would.
“If you ever need to talk, I’m here.” You raise your eyebrows in surprise, an unexpected smile rising onto your lips. Bumping your shoulder against his, the dark cloud over him just dissipates. He grins back.
“I know.”