Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Louis: Why would you give AJ a gun?

Clem: He felt unsafe

Louis: Now I feel unsafe!

Clem: I'm sorry...

Clem: Would you like a gun?

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Violet: Seems like I'm always saving your ass

Clem: Well, it is an ass worth saving

Violet: *Sighs*

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Minnie: What would happen if I ate a spoon of instant coffee?

Tenn: Don't find out

Minnie: But-

Tenn: No

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Louis: *Playing the piano*

Clem: Hey, do you take requests?

Louis: Sure!

Clem: Stop

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Ruby: Soph, what words do we use to motivate ourselves when we feel like quitting?

Sophie: Mama didn't raise no bitch

Ruby: No...

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Brody: I made this friendship bracelet for you

Marlon: I'm not much of a jewellery person

Brody: Oh, well, you don't have to wear it

Marlon, putting the bracelet on his wrist: No, back off, I'm gonna wear this forever

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Louis: I don't think we're that dramatic

Clem: I've been asleep for two days

Clem: Brody and Sophie started dating and AJ nearly shot Marlon

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Minnie: What's up? I'm back

The Ericsons Kids: We literally saw you die, you died, you were dead

Minnie: Death is a social construct

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Mitch: I sleep with a knife under my pillow

Marlon: Weak, I sleep with Rosie beside my bed

Violet: You're both pathetic

Mitch: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with then?

Violet: Minnie AND Clem

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Violet: Can you lend me some money?

Sophie: Why?

Violet: I'm saving up to buy a lawyer so I can get a restraining order on Louis

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Sophie: Imagine being an idiot

Minnie: Imagine being the disappointment of the family

Sophie: That's you

Minnie: I KNOW!

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Sophie: I'm gonna push you off of the roof

Minnie: Not if I jump first

Sophie: Minnie, no...

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Sophie: Yikes, you really oofed out on that one no cap, you really clowned that hard huh?

Sophie: Even chief would admit that ain't it and Alexa wouldn't play despacito for your ass, vote her out boys

Lilly:

Lilly: Was that English? Am I having a stroke?

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Minnie: I want to change the world

Ruby: For the better?

Minnie:

Ruby: Answer me

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Marlon: You're smiling. Why are you smiling, you never smile. What happened?

Violet: What, am I not allowed to smile?

Clem: She pushed Brody in the river when we went fishing

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Sophie: Hello, my darling sibling, the best sister I have ever had

Sophie: Did you eat my cookies? They seemed to have vanished and I was really looking forward to them

Minnie: Maybe

Sophie: Fucker

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Marlon: I ate some of the brownies in the kitchen, did you make them?

Mitch: Yeah, it's gonna kick in soon

Marlon: What's gonna kick in?

Mitch:

Marlon: MITCH?

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Mitch: Were you dropped on the head as a baby?!

Minnie: Bold of you to assume I was held!

Mitch:

Minnie:

Mitch: Are you okay?

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Aasim: Why are you on the floor?

Minnie: I'm depressed

Aasim:

Minnie: Oh, I also got stabbed, can you get Ruby?

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Marlon: Trust me, I know what I'm doing!

Brody: Not even God knows what you're doing, Marlon!

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Violet: Name a better duo than my fear of abandonment and instincts to self-isolate

Omar, walking past: You and therapy

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Violet: I bet I could fit my world in my hands

Minnie: That's physically imposi-

Violet: *Cups Minnie's face*

Minnie, gay panicking: You stop that, I have a reputation to keep

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Tenn: Wait, when butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Violet:

Violet: Tenn, what the fuck?

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Lilly: You don't understand, I had a very tough childhood

Clem: I understand very well, I AM HAVING A VERY TOUGH CHILDHOOD

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Aasim, entering a room: Sorry I'm late, I was... doing things

Louis, entering the room, noticeably dishevelled: He pushed me down the stairs!

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Baby Tenn: *Loud Crying*

Younger Sophie: I can't take this anymore!

Younger Minnie: He's just a baby, he isn't that hard to deal with

Younger Sophie: What do we do with him then?

Younger Minnie: Simple

Younger Minnie: *Picks baby Tenn up and puts him on top of a wardrobe*

Younger Minnie: He won't bother anyone up there

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Brody: I wish I could go to the moon

Violet: I wish you could too

Clem: Vi

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Minnie: You won't hit me, I've got a witness!

Sophie: Turn around, Brody

Brody: *Turns around*

Minnie: 

Minnie: Brody?

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AJ: I have an idea

Tenn: AJ, your last idea was murder

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Minnie: Making my way downtown, walking fast...

Minnie: *Glances at Violet and Clem*

Minnie: Walking a little slower 'cause I'm walking with Vi and Clem and they're short

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Violet, about Minnie: What the hell is she doing, she's gonna get herself bit!

Minnie: *Gets bit*

Violet: I mean... I hate to say I told you so, but I definitely told you so

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Minnie: You lost consciousness, do you remember anything?

Clem: Just the ambulance ride to the hospital

Violet: There wasn't an ambulance, I drove you

Clem: But, I heard a siren

Minnie: That was Louis

Louis: I was worried!

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AJ, drawing: Sorry, that line was meant to be straight

Clem: Don't worry, so was I

Violet: *Spits out her drink*

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Aasim, watching Willy try to do knife tricks: What is he even doing?

Mitch: HIS BEST!

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AJ: Lilly, James is in the pool and I don't think he's waterproof!

Lilly: What?

Clem: He means James is drowning

Lilly: Oh, okay

AJ:

Clem:

Lilly: WAIT, WHAT?!

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AJ: I hope I can be as cool as you guys in 20 years!

Marlon, offended: Does he think we're 40?

Violet, sighing: No, he's just really bad at math

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Minnie: I promised Clem that we wouldn't do anything stupid!

Violet: Why would you lie to our girlfriend like that?

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Sophie: Do you have any relationship advice?

Minnie: Nope

Sophie: But, you're dating Vi AND Clem

Minnie: Just 'cause I'm dating them doesn't mean I know how I did it

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Marlon: You should listen to me, I came up with hundreds of plans in my life and only one of them got me killed

Brody, Sophie and Minnie: *Silent rage*

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Aasim: You read my diary?

Charlie: At first, I didn't realize it was a diary, I just thought it was a sad handwritten novel

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Violet: Let's watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl and make out during the scary parts

Minnie: Th-

Minnie: The scary parts

Minnie: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl

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Sophie: We've gotta get there fast

Minnie: Then I should drive

Sophie: Why?

Minnie: I have nothing to live for and I drive like it

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Brody: I'm asking for your permission to date your sister

Minnie: What is this, the dark ages?

Brody:

Minnie: You know what, since you asked, no, you can't, you have to beat me in a duel first

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Louis: I forgot to charge my phone last night, sometimes, I think I'm stupid

Violet: I do that too

Louis: Forget to charge your phone?

Violet: No, think that you're stupid

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Violet: How do tall people sleep when the blanket can't even cover you?

Minnie: Vi, please, it's two in the morning

Violet: Can't sleep, huh?

Clem: Is it because of the blanket?

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Mitch: Why are you sad?

Willy: I don't know

Mitch: So, just for no reason?

Willy: No, there's loads of reasons, I'm just not sure which one it is this time

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Louis: Truth or dare?

Violet: Truth

Louis: How many hours have you slept this week?

Violet: Dare

Louis: Go to sleep

Violet: I don't like this game

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Clem: Are you checking out my ass?

Minnie: No?

Clem: Well, why aren't you?

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Marlon: Where is everyone?

Tenn: They're playing hide and seek

Marlon: Where?

Tenn: I don't think you know how the game works

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Louis, to Aasim: Sometimes, I'm an idiot to match your intelligence 

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Sophie: There's a bug in my bra, I'm not kidding

Everyone Else: *Stunned silence*

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Aasim and Louis: *Runs out into the courtyard*

Louis, terrified: NOOOOO!

Marlon: What, what is it?

Aasim: There's a racoon at the top of the stairs!

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Violet: *Falls off of her bed*

Louis: *Insane cackling*

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Violet: *Tries to slam a door, but the handle comes off*

Minnie: *Starts laughing*

Ruby: Oh my god

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Louis: Can I ask a dumb question?

Violet: Better than anyone I know

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Louis: Wanna hear a joke?

Aasim: No

Louis: Yes, you do. Okay, so-

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Sophie: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Minnie?

Minnie: No

Tenn: I do

Sophie: I know, Tenn

Tenn: I'm sad

Sophie: I know, Tenn

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Marlon: You can't just set all your problems on fire

Aasim: You'd be surprised about how many things are flammable

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Violet: You use humour to deflect serious trauma

Louis: Thank you

Violet: I didn't say that was a good thing

Louis: What I'm hearing is that you think I'm funny

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Ruby: Roses are red

Ruby: Violets are blue

Ruby: Sunflowers are yellow

Ruby: I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts

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Minnie: Mitch sent me a text telling me that he was getting a dick piercing 

Marlon: Oh?

Minnie: I blocked him

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AJ: How do you spell orange?

Willy: The fruit or the color?

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Marlon: When have I ever done anything rash or irresponsible?

Brody: I have a list. It's alphabetized 

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James: I'm worried about you

Charlie, dunking an Oreo in a can of Monster: Why?

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Minnie: Did they hurt you?

Violet: No, I'm okay, did they hurt you?

Minnie: Who cares?

Violet: I DO!

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AJ: Imagine a penguin confidently tummy-sliding directly into the mouth of an active volcano

Clem:

AJ:

Clem: Why?

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At the mall

Lilly: Excuse me, I've lost my twins, can I make an announcement?

Security: Of course

Lilly, leaning into the mic: Goodbye, you little shits

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Louis: *Says something dumb*

Aasim: Remind me why I love you

Louis: *Smiles*

Aasim, blushing: Ah. Right. Yes

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Violet: Can't you at least try and look at things from our point of view?

Minnie: *Crouches down to Violet and Clem's height*

Clem: I hate you

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Minnie: *Gets in a car*

Louis: What are you doing?

Minnie: I'm going on a drive

Brody: You can't do that!

Minnie: I have a license

Marlon: That's not your car!

Aasim: Or your license!

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Clem: So, what are the roles in this little group of yours?

Mitch: I do most of the exploration

Aasim: I do the research

Omar: I make good decisions

Clem: That's not really-

Marlon: Trust me, he's our most important member

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Tenn: I made a spoon hat

Sophie: That explains why I'm eating soup with a fork

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Lilly: Dumb kids

Lilly: *Sees the Ericsons kids struggling to start a fire

Lilly: Dammit, those are MY dumb kids

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Sophie: Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can't see

James: Sometimes?

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Lilly: I didn't raise you to be so sad

Minnie: You didn't raise me at all

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Louis: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Minnie: Why?

Louis: To get to the idiot's house

Louis: Knock knock

Minnie: Who's there?

Louis: The chicken

Minnie:

Louis:

Minnie: I won't stab you on one condition

Louis: What?

Minnie: Go tell this joke to Violet

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Sophie: What's the opposite of a crazy cat lady?

Minnie: Deranged dog man... or just Marlon, I guess

Violet: I'm gonna start calling him that

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Sophie: Did Brody just tell me that she loves me for the first time?

Tenn: Yeah

Sophie: And, did I just do finger guns back at her?

Tenn: Yeah, you did

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Minnie: I have no fears

Louis: What if you woke up one day and Violet was taller than you

Minnie:

Minnie: One fear

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Louis: Wanna hear a joke?

Minnie: Sure?

Louis: Your life

Minnie: My life isn't a joke, jokes have meaning

Violet: Min, no...

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Clem: I hate when kids scream in public

Clem: You don't have any real problems! It should be me screaming! ME!

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Aasim: I have a theory, people tend to talk louder when they want to seem smart, right?

Louis, yelling: CORRECT!

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AJ: Sleep? I don't know about sleep, it's summertime-

Clem: You better go to bed!

AJ: Oh, she caught me

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Sophie: Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?

Minnie: You told me to satanize the house

Sophie:

Sophie: I said sanitize 

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Marlon: Okay guys, I'm thinking of a number

Mitch: 420?

Marlon: No, that was so immature of you, can someone else guess and take this seriously?

Louis: 69?

Marlon: Yeah, it was 69

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Violet, to anyone: I don't meet the height requirement to ride your emotional rollercoaster

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Brody: RESPECT! POWER!

Sophie: BANANA!

Brody:

Brody: BANANA!

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Clem: Please go to bed, you must be tired

AJ: Me? Tired? Of course not, I'm never tired

Clem: Go to bed. I'M tired

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Violet: I guess I like hanging around with you guys, don't know why

Louis: Thank you!

Marlon: I'm not sure that was a compliment

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Violet: Sometimes, Minnie makes me so angry

Ruby: You're sitting in her lap...

Violet: Angrily

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Brody: Violence is not the answer!

Minnie: It's actually the question, and the answer is always yes

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Minnie: Guys, Sophie is missing

Lilly: Good

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Minnie: I may have indulged in too much me time again

Minnie: Turns out I've been reported missing for a year and I've been presumed dead by most local and national authorities

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Brody: When I was 8 or so I was deathly afraid of vampires, so I stole the garlic powder from my dad’s spice cabinet and kept it in my coat pocket

Brody: So if I was out at night with like, my dad and thought someone was acting really suspicious, I’d try to sprinkle a little garlic powder on them

Brody: Like imagine a weird little girl deciding you failed her vibe check and promptly seasoning you

Sophie: Is this why you got sent to a school for troubled youth?

Brody: Most likely 

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Aasim, trying to fill out paperwork: Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

Marlon: Bold of you to assume I was born at all

Mitch: I, personally, was created in a lab

Willy: I just straight up spawned, lol

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Minnie: Everything I do? Cringe

Minnie: Everything I say? Cringe

Minnie: Everything I think? Cringe

Minnie: Every time I breathe? Cringe

Sophie: Every time we touch? I GET THIS FEELING, AND EVERY TIME WE KISS, I SWEAR I COULD FLY-

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Brody: One time I was outside in the hall because I was having a panic attack and Marlon found me. I was worried that he was going to judge me but he just said “damn girl you got asthma?” I was hyperventilating, but I stopped panicking because I was so confused.

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Louis: You think you can betray us, threaten our lives and then just come back?!

Minnie: Would you be surprised if I said yes?

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Violet: Name one mean thing I have done or said ever

Willy: You convinced me that eggs weren’t real

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Minnie: I possibly need a hug, but I’d rather die than let anyone know that I am a being who desperately craves intimacy

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Minnie, coming out of the woods in episode four: Hi, I’m here to ruin everything

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Lilly: I’m going to ask you to be respectful 

Sophie: I’m going to decline 

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Marlon: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel

Ruby: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel

Aasim: A realist sees a freight train 

Violet: The train drivers sees three idiots standing on the tracks 

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Baby Tenn: *Starts crying*

Younger Sophie: Yeah, you’re cute, but you stress me the fuck out 

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Brody: You don’t know how much someone is worth to you

Marlon, under his breath: Until you sell them

Clem, who heard him: What? 

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Violet: The moon looks beautiful tonight, doesn’t it?

Clem: Yeah, but you know what’s more beautiful?

Violet and Clem, in unison: Minnie

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Minnie: Honestly, I am so evil. So full of darkness. I feed on the souls of the living and strike fear into-

Sophie: You sleep with a teddybear

Minnie: He’s my SECOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS

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Tenn: You’re dying 

Minnie: I’m rotting, it’s fine 

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Violet, to Louis: I love you, I hope you know that

Violet, to Louis, a minute later: Stop being a coward!

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Violet, at any given time: How can I blame this on Louis?

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Clem: What’re you laughing at, hot topic?

Minnie: Aw, you think I’m hot

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Louis: *Smiles*

Aasim: You are too good for this world, guess I’ll be an asshole for the both of us then

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Clem: So, what was your childhood like?

Violet: Oh, you mean my tragic backstory that you must be at least level 3 friendship to unlock?

Clem: What level am I at?

Violet: 10. So it all started-

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Louis, knocking on the door: Vi, open up!

Violet: It all started when I was a kid…

Louis: That’s not what I-

Minnie: Let her finish!

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Marlon: I may seem as an angry person on the outside but in the inside I’m actually angrier

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Omar: So, how was your day?

Brody: We went to the planetarium, and when the voiceover said “this is Earth”, Clem, Vi, Minnie and Sophie all booed

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AJ, excitedly: We’re going to see the warrior unicorns!

Aasim: You’re going to see the what?

Clem: He means the rhinos, we’re going to the zoo

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Louis: I do know how to cook, I’m not that incompetent

Violet: Tell that to my burnt sandwich. And the burnt jell-o

Minnie: How did you even manage that?

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Minnie: If I pay $40 for a haunted house, I better die

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Sophie: If I die, make sure I get a bigger tombstone than Minnie

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Clem: You’re so sick in the head

Minnie: Yeah, but like… in a cool, unhinged way

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Charlie: Hey Louis, tell me a joke

Louis: You’re all milking me dry at this point

Charlie: Oh-

Louis: I got more though!

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James: We're playing scrabble

Omar: It's a nightmare

Tenn: Scrabble? I like scrabble

Sophie: Not when you're playing with Aasim

Violet: He puts words like 'ephemeral' and we put words like 'dog'

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Marlon: I don’t like your accusatory tone

Clem: Well, I’d use a different tone, but I’m trying to accuse you of something

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Brody: Crushes are the worst 

Sophie: Right! Whenever I'm near someone I have a crush on, I start acting stupid

Brody: You’re always acting stupid though?

Sophie: Yeah… Don’t think about that too much 

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Clem: You’re wearing makeup?

Violet: Oh, it's just eyeliner. Do you like it?

Clem: Looks… nice, I guess

*Later*

Clem, sobbing into Minnie’s shoulder: It looked so good!

Minnie: I know

Clem: I’m so gay!

Minnie: I know

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Clem, about Abel: He died of natural causes

Ruby: You pushed him off of the roof

Clem: Gravity is natural 

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Younger Marlon: I’m getting us fake IDs

Younger Louis: To drink?

Younger Marlon: To vote

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Minnie: I would stab you right now but, unfortunately, my therapist said no 

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Marlon, depressed, laying in the floor: I just feel like a noodle

Mitch, joining him on the floor and holding his hand: Good, I like pasta