Work Text:
No one had noticed when Maya snuck off on their way back to the station. She hadn’t planned to, but when she got Carina’s text that just simply said “I love you,” she had texted back and asked the doctor to meet her outside the hospital. Carina agreed and Maya stayed back for a moment, saying she had to tie her shoe and everyone else could keep going.
When she saw Carina, her heart skipped a beat, this was the closest they had gotten in god knows how long. Well, only 3 weeks, but still, being within 6 feet of her girlfriend’s body meant everything to her.
“Ciao,” Carina said breathlessly, clearly also excited to see her girlfriend.
“Hi,” Maya’s voice came just as breathless. She took a step towards, Carina breaking the 6-feet distance they had held, making it 5-feet. Carina took a step towards her: 3-feet now. When they got to less than a foot away, Carina grabbed Maya’s hand and whispered, “Come on, let’s go into my office.”
When they got there, Carina took off her face shield and placed her forehead against Maya’s. This wasn’t safe, they both knew it, but they also were both wearing masks and they would leave those on no matter how much they may have wanted to take them off.
“I love you,” Maya whispered as nuzzled her forehead against Carina’s. It was like an eskimo kiss, but with their foreheads. Her arms were laid loosely around Carina’s neck, holding the doctor close. Carina’s were on Maya’s waist, pulling their bodies to be pressed together.
“I love you too… mi manchi,” Carina sighed.
“You don’t have to miss me, I’m right here,” Maya replied as pulled away for a second to move some loose hair behind the Italian’s ear.
“Yes, I do, Maya. This is the first time we’ve been this close since…” Carina trailed off, but Maya knew what she was thinking.
They hadn’t seen each other since the night they got back together. They spent all night in bed together, next thing they knew, there was a pandemic and a lockdown. It had only been 3 weeks since then, but they’d missed each other’s bodies.
“I miss your body, the sound of your laugh, your smile,” Carina shrugged and Maya rubbed her forehead against the other woman’s again.
“Me too.”
“I want everything to go back to normal,” Carina whined quietly.
“I know, I know, me too,” Maya replied softly. She wanted to be kissing Carina right now- she really wanted to be kissing the doctor all of the time. That didn’t really mean anything now though. They were both first responders, they were both always at risk for covid. This was risky for them, this could get both of them exposed to something. Neither wanted to expose the other. At the same time, neither wanted to be separated either.
“I miss you every minute of every day,” Maya mumbled.
“Mi manchi anche tu,” Carina whispered softly.
“How’s your broth-” Maya started but she stopped when she heard Carina’s pager.
“I have to go,” Carina sighed as she checked it.
“Laboring mom?” Maya questioned, but Carina shook her head no.
“People no longer want to come to hospitals to give birth due to covid, I rarely see a labor anymore, they need more hands in the hole. Let me escort you out,” Carina tried to smile with her eyes, despite her slight disappointment.
“I’ll FaceTime you tomorrow morning after work,” Maya whispered quietly and Carina nodded.
“Can I call you tonight before bed if you’re not on a call?” Carina asked as she put her face shield back on and they started walking out.
“Of course, text me when you get home and if I’m free we can call, okay, love?” Maya offered and Carina nodded.
That night, at around 10:30, Maya FaceTimed Carina a little after returning from a call. Her girlfriend looked exhausted and anxious when she answered the phone.
“Car, hey what’s wrong?”
“I lost another patient today, Maya! The only times I’ve lost patients before is to ovarian cancer that was caught too late to treat or major c-sections that were unavoidable due to circumstance- I never lose patients that don’t undergo major surgery Maya. Yet here I am, every day losing another patient. I hate this pandemic. I hate it. I hate it!” By the end, Carina was yelling with tears in her eyes.
“Baby, I’m sorry, I wish I could be there with you,” Maya mumbled, unsure of what else to say. She knew that before this, Carina had lost 3 patients, all due to complications from surgeries they would’ve died without anyways. There was one with ovarian cancer and they tried to remove part of the tumor to increase her life time by at least a little bit, in the end one of the other doctor’s nicked a blood vessel when trying to disconnect part of the tumor and she died from blood loss. That one had hit Carina hard, so she started trying to mainly focus on labors. The 2 c-sections moms she had lost- well one didn’t even really count if you asked Maya. One of them was already brain dead when Carina had to do the c-section. The stress on her body in the c-section is what lost her body along with her brain. The other woman had a heart/lung problem and if she had pushed she would’ve stopped breathing. Turns out, she couldn’t survive the c-section. Those had all happened before Maya and Carina had met, but the blonde knew how much each one affected her girlfriend. Carina still felt bad about each of them and had told Maya about them pretty early in their relationship and that’s when Maya was sure that the doctor was one hell of a doctor. Now, however, she lost at least one patient a day, usually two or three.
“I’m so tired of the death,” Carina whimpered quietly.
“I know, me too.”
“Mi manchi.”
“Mi manchi anche tu,” Maya replied, rather pleased with her not bad pronunciation.
“I’m sorry- I’m so selfish. I saw Andy’s speech, h-how are you feeling?” Carina asked and wiped her eyes.
“I cried. I wish you could’ve been there in person.”
“Maya, that’s ridicolo, I did not even know the man,” Carina scrunched her eyebrows with confusion.
“Yeah, but I wish I could’ve held you hand during it.”
They so desperately wanted to be together. They always wanted to be together. Now it was hard. They missed each other. There was no good reason for them to quarantine together. They would just double both of their chances of getting sick. One day, hopefully in the foreseeable future, they would be able to be together in person again, but for now they just had to have patience.