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The first time they meet is a few days after they move into their dorms. Seokjin’s roommate knows Hoseok’s roommate, and during the initial scramble of finding classes and finding textbooks and finding people to eat with they run into each other a decent number of times. Hoseok thinks Seokjin is maybe one of the prettiest people he’s ever seen. Seokjin thinks Hoseok is too loud by half and in possession of an unfairly attractive nose.
There’s a lot of harmless joking-slash-flirting because flirting is Seokjin’s default and playing along is Hoseok’s. It makes the people at their table laugh, and it makes Seokjin feel good that he’s making people laugh, and it makes Hoseok glad people are having fun. They have an exchange of winks and eyebrow raises with almost completely straight faces. Seokjin mouths I win after Hoseok cracks (“You cheated,” Hoseok tells him, “Blowing a kiss like that is cheating.”) and Hoseok vows revenge and it’s good.
The first one to say, “Wanna dance?” is Hoseok, because it’s Hoseok. He might have decided he didn’t want to dance for a living (it’s hell on the joints) or teach dance for a living (it’s hell on his social life) but he still loves it, and they are in a club to celebrate the end of their first year, and he can see the way Seokjin is bobbing along to the music as their group stands clustered around a tall table.
Hoseok and Seokjin aren’t friends, exactly, more like friendly acquaintances, but the group Hoseok came with have all disappeared to God knows where, and he could go dance by himself but it’s more fun to dance with people. He’d far rather dance with a friendly acquaintance than a stranger.
Seokjin is just drunk enough that he says yes. He likes dancing. Even if he isn’t good at it he can be enthusiastic, especially with an audience to entertain. He certainly has an audience tonight -- their friends are practically falling all over themselves laughing, and Hoseok looks positively delighted. Hoseok’s delight could keep Seokjin going on it’s own.
The room is dark and the lights are bright and Hoseok moves either like he is boneless or like he has more bones than any human should have by rights. Seokjin moves like a puppet being jerked around by its strings. By the end of the night they are breathless with laughter and find themselves leaning on each other as they stumble back to their rooms.
The first one to lose at MarioKart is Seokjin. They’re in one of the lounges, playing because it’s past midnight and if they don’t get a break from studying they aren’t sure they’ll live to see the morning. Hoseok gloats about winning after all the trash talking Seokjin did. His gloating involves a victory dance.
The next three victories are Seokjin’s. He makes sure to include a dance with each one. Fair’s fair.
There is no first one to ask the other for their number because somehow they end up in a group chat together. Seokjin is the first one to message privately though. The messages reads:
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T “DO” COMIC BOOKS? YOU ARE A BOOK NERD I’VE SEEN YOUR ROOM COMIC BOOKS ARE REAL BOOKS FIGHT ME LOSER
Hoseok laughs out loud when he reads it. He hadn’t expected this kind of reaction when he’d said, casually, because people are allowed to like different things, I don’t really do comic books in the group chat. Someone had asked. He’d answered. He’s not sure the yelling was necessary.
He says so, and then Seokjin says of course the yelling is necessary, and a few hours later they’ve had a whole conversation over text. They don’t text often, but it’s nice to know that they can, without it being awkward.
The first to get a boyfriend is Hoseok, and even then it isn’t so much a boyfriend as it is a guy-friend-with-benefits. There’s some drama over it but then there are jerks everywhere. Seokjin makes it clear where he stands, in public and in private, and Hoseok says thank you if not in as many words. Some of the jerks leave their social group, and some of the jerks apologize sincerely, and Hoseok breathes easier.
Seokjin has always known he likes guys as much as girls, as well as people who identify as neither, or both, but he’s never done anything about it. The path of least resistance is the path of least resistance for a reason, and then he meets someone, and thinks about how brave Hoseok was, and thinks well why not?.
The first to text coffee? is Hoseok, because he’s on his way to the study room where Seokjin has been holed up for three days, and is going to get coffee for himself anyway, and might as well save Seokjin the trip.
You’re an angel Seokjin sends back. You give me hope for the future. Salted caramel mocha with extra whip, please
I’m not sure the caffeine will make up for the sugar coma you’re apparently trying to give yourself Hoseok replies, but he buys it anyways, and can’t help but smile at the look of relieved gratitude on Seokjin’s face when he delivers it.
The first to say, “Dinner?” is Seokjin, a few hours later. “As payback for the coffee?”
“That’s overpaying for a coffee,” Hoseok tells him.
Seokjin shrugs. “I’m the hyung. I get to decide that.” He stretches, leaning back in his chair, and his stomach rumbles. “C’mon, I’ve barely talked to anyone except my books for three days, and you’ll have an excuse to admire my beautiful face for an hour.”
Neither of them initiate their first hug -- it just happens. They’re out at a bar, and they’re drinking, and then they’re leaving, and then they’re hugging. They’ve known each other for a couple years by this point but not in a hugging way. The hug doesn’t feel weird though. The hug feels good. The hug feels natural. They end up hugging a lot more, after that.
Their first kiss happens at a party, after their final exams but before they officially graduate.
Hoseok has had three boyfriends by this point, and Seokjin has had two, but right then they’re both single. Hoseok arrives exactly on time with Jimin in tow. Seokjin arrives fashionably late, when Hoseok already has a flush on his cheeks, spreading down his neck until it disappears into the collar of his t-shirt. Hoseok drags him over to where they’re just starting a game of Baskin Robbins, and then Hi-Lo, and then 3-6-9. Seokjin’s bladder cries mercy at that point so he excuses himself to use the washroom, and by the time he gets back the whole atmosphere has changed.
There’s a lot of dancing happening in the cramped living room and Hoseok is in the thick of things, having the time of his life. He’s lost the jean jacket he was wearing during the drinking game and his shirt clings to him as he moves and his hips are hypnotic (“Heh,” Seokjin says into his beer, “Hipnotic.”) and he moves with such a single-minded intensity that it’s hard to look anywhere else. Seokjin has always known Hoseok is hot but in an academic way. Tonight he’s feeling it in a way that is decidedly not academic.
He flees to the balcony, because the weather is pretty mild, and he thinks he’ll last in the cold long enough to get himself back under control. What he doesn’t count on is Hoseok noticing he’s gone barely a minute later, then seeing the bit of his shoulder visible through the window, then following him out.
At some point Hoseok lost his shirt, but found his jean jacket again and even managed to get the middle pair of buttons done up. It leaves a V of skin visible on his chest, and inverted one below. Seokjin’s brain must short circuit, because before he realizes what he’s doing he’s reached out to touch just-visible skin of the smooth plane of Hoseok’s stomach.
The gentle brush of Seokin’s fingertips makes Hoseok suck in a breath. Seokjin’s fingers chase Hoseok’s stomach as it pulls away. Before either of them fully know what’s happening Seokjin has his full palm resting right there, his fingers splayed out, brushing the lower edge of Hoseok’s ribs.
Hoseok lets out a noise that could be considered a whimper, and so Seokjin looks away from Hoseok’s stomach, and the spot where Seokjin’s hand disappears under Hoseok’s jean jacket, to Hoseok’s flushed face. It isn’t just his face that’s flushed either -- it’s his face, and his neck, and his chest, and Seokjin can see all this because of the way Hoseok’s jacked isn’t quite done up and the way he isn’t wearing a shirt underneath it.
“Ah Seok-ah, have you been drinking?” Seokjin asks, because he feels like he needs to say something, and teasing Hoseok is safe, and familiar, and helps him ignore the new, strong, tug of want in the pit of his stomach, or the way his heart is hammering, or how hard it is to breathe now.
Hoseok whines (and it’s definitely a whine) “Hyung~” but he doesn’t pull away. Instead he sways forward, sways into Seokjin’s space, until his forehead rests against Seokjin’s collarbone. The hand Seokjin has resting on Hoseok’s stomach slides around to rest on Hoseok’s lower back. His fingers graze the top of the thick elastic on Hoseok’s briefs. Hoseok sucks in another breath and presses himself forward against Seokjin’s chest.
“Hoseok,” Seokjin says, drawing out the last syllable, hugging Hoseok closer.
“Maybe,” Hoseok admits. Seokjin is safe, and warm, and solid underneath him, and won’t judge him for drinking, or for wanting to be close right now. “Maybe I’ve been drinking. Can’t prove it tho.”
It’s hard for Seokjin to draw back far enough to look at the top of Hoseok’s head but he does, arching his back just a bit. He isn’t looking at the top of Hoseok’s head for long, either, because Hoseok pulls back too, looking up at Seokjin, and Seokjin, in his wine-drunk state, realizes that he’s going to miss Hoseok a lot. It becomes imperative that he tell Hoseok immediately, but all he can force past his lips is, “Hoseok-ah, I--”
They look at each other. They sway forward. They kiss.
Seokjin forgets how cold it is outside, forgets the party inside, forgets everything except the feeling of Hoseok under his hands, and the way Hoseok has one hand up the back of Seokjin’s shirt, and the other in Seokjin’s hair, and then Hoseok stops kissing Seokjin’s mouth and starts kissing just at the corner of Seokjin’s jaw. It makes Seokjin’s hips stutter, and his knees buckle, and Hoseok is smug and pleased as he pushes Seokjin back against the wall to make sure he doesn’t fall.
Some small part of Seokjin wonders if they should be talking about it, but the rest of him points out that he’s being very communicative with his mouth, and his hands, and his body, and maybe in this case that’s good enough. He’s the only one who has had his knees buckle so far though, and that means he’s losing, and he can’t have that.
So Seokjin gets it together, gets his legs back under him, and it’s Hoseok’s turn to cling on for dear life as Seokjin engages in an effective campaign that make good use of the dance lessons Hoseok’s given him over the years, his lips against the tip of one of Hoseok’s ears.
They don’t stop until they hear someone say, “Oh, sorry,” and the sound of the balcony door closing again. Seokjin has his arms around Hoseok, and Hoseok has his arms around Seokjin, and they’re both hard, and they’re both aware that they’re hard, but they want the hug more than they want to do anything about it.
There are a lot of things they could say, but what Seokjin ends up saying is, “Wanna grab some food? My treat.”
Hoseok nods, his face buried in Seokjin’s shoulder, and when he pulls back from the hug Seokjin’s shoulder and Hoseok’s face are damp. Neither of them feel up to addressing it.
“Let’s go find your shirt,” Seokjin says, and so they go back in, and they leave.
They get ramen from a 24 hour convenience store, and some Gatorade, and some hangover drinks, and then wander the streets to get back to Hoseok’s apartment. It’s not any warmer than the balcony was. Their breath hangs in the air, but they don’t rush. It takes them a lot longer than it should to find their way to the base of Hoseok’s building. By the time they arrive, the sky is starting to lighten in the east.
Hoseok turns to Seokjin, and says, “Hyung,” and they both know what he isn’t saying. It’s weird how not-weird this feels, how natural. It feels like it should be harder, it feels like there should be more stopping him from saying yeah, okay than the knowledge that Hoseok’s sister is going to be there in a few hours to help him get ready for the movers.
He shakes his head no.
Hoseok was expecting it but it still hurts, and he can feel his face fall even as he tries to keep it neutral.
It makes Seokjin feel like the worst person in the world, and like maybe he should say a few more things, so he adds, “We wouldn’t both fit in your bed, and neither of us fit on your couch, and your sister is going to be here soon, but--” and he swallows, his mouth suddenly dry, “But if, before you leave--”
“I’ll text you,” Hoseok says, fast. “I’ll text you?”
“Yeah,” Seokjin breathes. “Yeah. Yes.”
They sway in for one last kiss, and then one last hug, and then Hoseok goes up to his room and Seokjin goes home, and they never cry around others so there’s definitely no way they’re crying now.
The first time Hoseok leaves is two weeks later. Seokjin is at the station, wearing his biggest smile. Hoseok’s hair is cut. He looks undersized and frail in his gear. They never did get to talk, not with Hoseok busy with family things before he starts his enlistment, and Seokjin busy being busy because Hoseok was, but that’s okay. They’ll talk later, if need be.
Hoseok gets a final hug from everyone. Seokjin is proud of the way they keep their hug short, as if they’ll be seeing each other in a week, not in…
Hoseok gets on the train, wearing his biggest smile, and doesn’t let it slip until he’s sure, absolutely sure, no one will see. Seokjin stays where he is until Hoseok’s train disappears from view. Hoseok’s mom pulls him in for a hug, and thanks him for coming, and then he takes the train back to his parents’ house and shuts himself in his room and cries.
The first one to say a friend with a goofy smile on his face in answer to the question who’re ya textin’? is Hoseok. A buddy from his unit asked, follows it up with, “Must be some friend,” with some suggestive eyebrow movement that makes Hoseok blush furiously.
“Must be,” he says with a laugh, and he goes back to texting.
The first one to say my boyfriend is Seokjin, bitterly and with venom.
He’s been out to his immediate family since highschool, and they’ve more or less come to accept it, but his extended family can be tiresome and traditional, and keep asking questions about when he’s going to find a girl, and who he’s been messaging all afternoon instead of listening to their advice about what he should do with his career, and who he should date, and how he should invest.
His parents say, “How about we all put our phones away,” in that very polite way that indicates it is not a request and Seokjin glares at their floor until he’s given permission to go back to his room.
Btw if anyone asks you’re my boyfriend now, k? he sends, fingers shaking, when he’s done telling Hoseok the story.
When Hoseok gets to read the messages he laughs until he cries, and then he can’t seem to stop crying.
The first time they see each other after Hoseok is discharged is at a bar, surrounded by their friends. Neither of them say I missed you but they don’t really need to, not with the way they cling to each other. They eat, and they drink, and their group heads to a noraebang, and when the majority get tired of singing and want to go back to drinking Seokjin and Hoseok stay behind.
It would be a good time to talk, except neither of them actually want to talk. They’re having fun being in each other’s company again, singing along to the backing music with horrible screeching voices and collapsing with laughter when they fuck up the especially fast raps in English pop songs to the point where they don’t even know what they’re saying anymore.
They queue up a ballad, and Hoseok sits back to watch Seokjin give it his all. Seokjin does. Seokjin sings his heart out, except that it’s hard to maintain that level of silly for three and a half minutes in the face of Hoseok’s ever-softening gaze. By the end of the first minute he’s singing sincerely instead of making a fool out of himself, and by the end of the second he’s actually trying to sound good which he doesn’t think he’s done since highschool.
Having Seokjin singing at him intently is really doing a number on Hoseok’s circulatory system, which can’t tell if it wants to pump blood to his face or to his dick. He really-- well. He really has a feeling about this man. It fills his whole chest, makes it hard to sit still, makes it seem like the most logical thing in the world to surge forward until he can cup Seokjin’s face in his hands and kiss him.
Seokjin is very glad to find that they’re kissing, because he was about three seconds away from actually trying to use his words to say something and Hoseok, brilliant, wonderful, Hoseok, has found a solution that doesn’t involve talking.
Eventually they stop kissing, because they’re technically in public, and neither of them want to get caught at it, but their heads are so close together Seokjin can feel Hoseok’s breath as he says, “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Seokjin’s breathing echos in his ears, harsh and ragged. He screws up his courage and says, “We should do that again sometime?”
It comes out sounding more like a question than a statement. It makes Hoseok feel fond, or maybe something bigger than fond, and he presses their foreheads together. “Yeah.”
The first one to say boyfriend when it’s just the two of them is Hoseok. He and Seokjin made plans to see a show, and Seokjin’s parents had said well why don’t we do dinner first? and so Seokjin had gone to pick Hoseok up at the station to make sure he didn’t get lost, and because he was impatient to see him.
They hug, surrounded by strangers, and Hoseok links their hands together, and as they walk off Hoseok says, “So, am I still your boyfriend?” with a wink. As soon as the words are out of his mouth he blushes pink, but Seokjin is blushing too so that’s okay.
Seokjin gives him a kiss on the cheek, even though they’re in public, and it might not be in words but it’s definitely an answer.
The first apartment they get together is small, although far from the smallest unit in the building, with a fair sized balcony and large, south-facing windows. It’s in an okay neighbourhood, really close to a bus line, and it’s a better commute than either of them would have been able to afford on their own. Seokjin’s parents think it’s a bit fast, and Hoseok’s parents do too, but their children are adults. There’s nothing they can do about it.
At first they only have their mattress and some kitchen supplies bought at the local grocery, but as they settle in they start to make it their own. They get a television they’re happy with and Seokjin brings his consoles over from his parents house. Hoseok finds a dance studio that offers drop-in lessons. They assemble one bookshelf from Ikea, and then decide that if they’re ever going to assemble any more furniture from Ikea they’re going to invite Jimin over and make him do it since he was so unsympathetic to their plight.
The first one to say I love you is Hoseok, a few weeks after they move in together.
Normally he wouldn’t be caught dead awake so early, but he’s been having nightmares about his first day on the job, and he’d much rather look at Seokjin’s ridiculous bedhead than a class of children intent on telling him he really did forget to put on his pants. Seokjin’s bedhead proves too tempting. Hoseok sinks his fingers into it.
“Dreams?” Seokjin asks, when Hoseok playing with his hair wakes him up. Hoseok’s eyes are too bright for the dim light filtering through their curtain.
“Mmm,” Hoseok hums. “You know, your bedhead is truly remarkable this morning.”
“You’re making it worse,” Seokjin grumbles, reaching out so he can pull Hoseok in close. “Back to sleep, Seok-ah. I’ll protect you.”
Seokjin feels good, wrapped around Hoseok like this, and smells good, and even sounds good, his heartbeat steady and comforting under Hoseok’s ear. Hoseok does feel safe. The words, “I love you,” just slip out.
Seokjin’s arms tense and his breathing stops and his heart speeds up. Hoseok pushes back just far enough that he can see Seokjin’s face, as red as his ears, and the first tear as it falls into the pillow they’re sharing. He sees the second one too, and the third, and--
In all their years of knowing each other Hoseok isn’t sure he’s ever seen Seokjin cry, or, more accurately, he’s not sure Seokjin has ever let him see him cry.
He’s letting him now, and it does something to Hoseok’s heart, and then he’s crying too, even while he’s trying to get out the words, “Ah, no, um, definitely meant, um, you can forget, well--”
Seokjin saves him from himself by the simple expedient of a hand over Hoseok’s mouth. It takes him a few times to find his voice again, but when he does he says, “I love you too.”
The first time they meet Jungkook is in February the following year. He’s sitting in the hall, with his head tipped back, and his eyes closed, and it’s so unusual to see someone sitting in the hall that at first they figure he must have a reason for it.
“He looked tired,” Hoseok says as their door closes behind them. They take off their coats, and change their winter boots for their slippers. “And I can’t think why he’d be sitting outside his door.”
“Might be locked out?” Seokjin suggests, taking Hoseok’s coat and hanging it up for him. “Although he didn’t look drunk enough to be unable to enter his code, and it’s a bit early for that anyways.”
“He barely looks old enough to drink,” Hoseok says with a laugh. “But I guess, there’s no harm in us just checking everything’s okay?”
Seokjin nods, setting his bag of groceries down on the counter. “Might as well.”
The first one to say, “I think I like Jungkook more than I should,” out loud is Hoseok. It’s scary, but it’s true, and for a whole two seconds he thinks he’s ruined everything.
Then Seokjin says, “I know I like Jungkook more than I should,” because if they’re going to talk about it they’re going to talk about it.
They probably should’ve talked about it right after Jungkook confessed, before they invited him back for supper, but they didn’t. They didn’t talk about it that night either, not really. They’d held each other close and said we’ll treat him just the same as we always have, right? and let the rest of the words take shape in their heads, growing and forming and organizing until they felt ready for the conversation. It isn’t often they’ve needed words to communicate. It always takes them a bit to work up to it.
“I guess the question is what are we going to do next?”
It isn’t their only topic of conversation in the following weeks. They talk about work, and about their families, and about Jungkook’s work, and family, and how Yeontan is doing. They hang out with Jungkook, and Hoseok goes to his dance classes, and Seokjin to the gym. They send each other links to websites to read, and when they think they’ve made another step forward in figuring out what they want to say they say it.
They discuss the fact that their feelings for each other haven’t changed.
“I love you,” Seokjin says, taking Hoseok’s hands in his. “I do. I just have bonus feelings now.”
Hoseok flips their hands so he’s holding Seokjin’s and brings them to his lips. “Yeah. I know that feeling. He’s just… he’s important too now, you know?”
“I do,” Seokjin groans, pulling his hands toward himself, reeling Hoseok in for a hug. He feels like they should be closer. “Also very cute.”
“And hot,” Hoseok says into Seokjin’s chest. “Don’t forget that he’s hot.”
Seokjin grins into Hoseok’s hair. “As hot as me?”
Hoseok laughs and pinches Seokjin’s side. “No fishing for compliments.”
They talk about what it might look like. They talk about what would change, and what would stay the same. They talk until there isn’t much more to say than, “So maybe… maybe you want to try it?”
It’s a big change, but they’ve lived through big changes before, and besides: Jungkook’s worth it.