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The air over the water is brisk, especially at three in the morning. Jaewon’s sitting on a bench, alone. His hood’s pulled up, mask over his nose.
The sound of the river makes his mind blank, just for a while. It’s the only time he’s really peaceful.
The one earbud he has in is playing some sad song that he can’t quite remember the name of. Really, it doesn’t matter. His phone shouldn’t work in the morning, anyway.
He’s sure there are hundreds of unread texts. Do Not Disturb was turned on before he left the dorm, though, and so his phone’s been mercifully silent.
Jaewon just sits and watches the lights of the city reflect off the water. It’s peaceful, and morbidly beautiful considering the fact that he wants to sink far beneath the surface.
Really, it wouldn’t be that hard. All he’d have to do is hop over the guardrail.
There’s nobody around to watch him as he swings a leg over, gripping tightly to the rail. Once on the other side, he turns to face the water, the wind blowing gently at his exposed hair. It’s easier to see the water now.
He swings back onto the bridge, though. The bench, although not very comfortable, is much easier on his body than hanging off the side of the bridge. So he sits back down.
The song switches to yet another, similarly sad, song. Jaewon’s head hurts.
He watches the water again, zoning out from reality for a while.
He can forget about the headache, about the chill creeping in his bones. He can just forget he exists, if he wants to.
He’s brought back to reality by someone sitting next to him. The song’s different now, and he pulls his phone out to check how many songs he was drifting for.
Jaewon’s too numb to feel any sort of way about the unread texts from the others, the missed calls. He just opens his playlist and counts down the list.
9 songs between when he zoned out and when he came back to reality. Each, on average, 3 minutes long. So about 27 minutes where he didn’t have to exist.
“Jaewon.”
It’s Dongho sitting next to him.
“Hi hyung.”
“You were going to jump, weren’t you.”
Dongho’s got a gentle hand on his knee, effectively keeping him from moving.
“Good thing I’m scared of heights,” Jaewon says mirthlessly.
He can feel the hand on his knee tighten slightly, Dongho taken aback by his words.
"...you really were planning to jump?”
“I dunno.”
A coat drapes over his shoulders, blocking the wind from creeping through his thin hoodie. Dongho’s hand grabs his. “I think we should go back to the dorm, yeah?”
“Sure.”
“Or we could go to my place, if you don’t want to see the others.”
“I don’t really care.”
“Alright.”
Jaewon knows he’s being blunt, but he really couldn’t care.
Dongho hails a taxi, and squishes both of them in the backseat. He’s still holding Jaewon’s hand, a small source of warmth.
Someone calls Dongho. He picks up, of course.
“Hi, Soo- yes, I’ve got him, he’s safe. I think he’s going to stay the night at my place, if that’s okay. Yes, I’ll be with him. No, he- well... he’s kinda... I don’t know. He’s a bit out of it, I think. I’ll call you when we get to my place, yes. Talk to you then. Bye.”
“Minsoo-hyung?”
“He’s worried about you.”
“He shouldn’t be.”
Dongho squeezes Jaewon’s hand, and sighs.
“Alright, Jaewon. We’re probably going to have a talk in the morning.”
It’s a short drive to the high-rise where Dongho’s apartment is. Really, it’s far too soon when Jaewon finds himself getting pulled out of the elevator onto Dongho’s floor.
Dongho’s still holding his hand, the other fidgeting with the app for his door lock. It opens, and Dongho pulls the younger inside.
“Take your shoes off and then I’m getting you into warm clothes.”
Jaewon just nods. He can still feel the chill of the air in his bones, even with Dongho’s jacket draped over his body. So he toes his shoes off, and waits for Dongho to finish untying his.
It’s not long before Jaewon’s dragged along again. His songs are still looping through his one earbud, and he’s happily zoned out.
“Here, Jaewon. Sit down, I’ll grab you something to wear.” They’re in Dongho’s room now, the plush duvet cover soft against Jaewon’s hands.
Dongho’s rifling through his drawers, but he eventually comes back with a hoodie and sweatpants.
“Do you want me to plug your phone in?”
Jaewon pauses his music and hands his phone - earbuds and all- over to Dongho. The older brings it over to his desk, and presumably plugs it in with an extra cord.
It’s easier to zone out when it’s quiet, Jaewon’s found. Now is no exception.
Dongho’s never seen Jaewon’s eyes look so dead. Really, it’s kind of terrifying. He doesn’t even react when Dongho slowly takes the jacket off his shoulders, nor when the older goes to take off his hoodie.
He tries his best to be gentle with Jaewon. The younger’s far too thin, and Dongho feels like one wrong move could snap him. Carefully, he slips one of his own hoodies over Jaewon’s head, the soft fabric pooling at his wrists. The only form of acknowledgment that he receives is a very slow, tired blink.
For a moment, Dongho’s fingers fumble with the button on Jaewon’s jeans. The stiff black denim isn’t very stretchy, but eventually the button’s undone. As gently as he can, Dongho tugs the skinny jeans off, and replaces them with sweatpants. He tries his best to ignore the bandages wrapped around Jaewon’s thighs.
“Do you wanna lay down? I still need to call Minsoo, and if you’re tired, you should probably go to sleep.”
“I’ll wait.”
Dongho nods, and tugs his turtleneck off. He’s still wearing his pajamas, sweatpants and a tanktop, not having bothered to change before going to look for Jaewon.
Finally, he dials Minsoo.
“Hi. We’re at my place.”
“Good! Jaewon’s still doing okay?”
“I got him into some warmer pajamas. He was pretty cold when I found him, hopefully he won’t get sick.”
“Is he asleep?”
“Not yet. He said he’s waiting for me.”
“Go sleep then. I’ll see you soon.”
“Goodnight, Soo.”
Minsoo hangs up. Dongho sighs, and drops his phone on its charging pad before flicking the lights off. The moon still shines in through the window, though. It’s dim enough not to disturb them.
Tiredly, Dongho sits on his bed and gently tugs Jaewon over to him, lifting up the covers for them to slide under.
Jaewon’s head rests on his chest, body curled up next to Dongho’s. He’s still drifting, it seems, eyes oddly unfocused. Aside from the tower fan in the corner, the room’s silent.
In the distance, there’s the sound of the front door opening. Usually, Dongho would roll his eyes, seeing as it’s just Minsoo coming over, but he’s relieved. The patter of footsteps gets closer to his room, and eventually Minsoo and Daehyun poke their heads into the doorway. Jaewon’s turned away from the door, and doesn’t even seem to notice Dongho waving the other two over.
Minsoo crawls over to curl up against Dongho’s other side, and Daehyun slips under the covers behind Jaewon, wrapping his arms around the older.
If Jaewon’s surprised by the others showing up, he doesn’t show it. His eyes seem to be focused now, still sadly dim as he looks over at Minsoo.
It stays quiet, Minsoo reaching over to pet Jaewon’s hair.
They’ll be okay. Jaewon’s safe.
They’ve got him held tightly, warmth seeping into every inch of their skin.
And he’s got them, now.