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“Eve! I have been shopping!”
“Cool.”
“Eve! Eve, come and look at my purchases, Eve.”
“No I’m good here, thanks.”
“But Eve you need to see! Look, I got a new dress. Look.”
“Stop- Villanelle, stop waving that in my face I’m trying to read.”
“Eve please you must look, they are so beautiful.”
“I am going to move out.”
“Eve, look at my dress Eve.”
“Oh my god, yes, okay, I see it.”
“And?”
“And it’s lovely, sweetheart, good job.”
“You aren’t even looking at it properly.”
“How… how am I supposed to look at it properly? What does that even mean?”
“Look at it with your hands, Eve.”
“ What ?”
“Touch it! Looking is not just about seeing.”
“Sweet Jesus, you’re an idiot.”
“Feel it. What does that feel like to you?”
“Uh… nice?”
“What material, Eve?”
“...acrylic.”
“You think this exquisite dress is made of acrylic ?”
“Well I don’t know, you asked me to guess! My scarf is super soft and that’s acrylic.”
“Your scarf is terrible and I have tried to throw it out three times. How does it keep reappearing?”
“Because I know you and because you put it in the trash in the kitchen every time. You know I can just take it out, right?”
“But it is in there with all the rubbish!”
“We have a washing machine, darling.”
“A what?”
“Okay, now you’re just being an ass. I’m going to continue reading.”
“Fine. If you will not look at my clothes properly then I guess it is time for a-”
“Dont.”
“Time for a-”
“Villanelle, please-”
“Time for a fashion show!! ”
“No, come on Vil, can’t you do this with someone else?”
“Who else? I do not have anyone else. You are all I have.”
“Oh don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“The sad act, with the eyes.”
“What eyes?”
“Those eyes! When you make them all glossy and big, cut it out.”
“I am just sad, Eve. I only have you in the whole world, I do not have any friends, I do not have anyone to show my new clothes to. But it is okay, I understand, you are too busy for me, I am not interesting, you have better things to do-”
“Jesus, fine , fashion show.”
“ Yes ! Ha!”
“You’re a dick.”
“Mm, but a stylish one, no?”
“Just hurry up and get changed.”
——
“Okay, first we have this Proenza Schouler dress. As you can see it is black with white polka dots-”
“No shit.”
“Shh. It is black with white polka dots which is all the rage this season. The top makes my tits look brilliant, which is a plus but not at all surprising. The shoes are Emilia Wickstead, Eve. Aren’t they beautiful?”
“They sure are, uh… pointy. How much were they?”
“...that is not important.”
“What? I don’t care how much you spend on clothes, unless- wait.”
“Anyway let’s move on.”
“Villanelle, did you use our joint account?!”
“Moving on!”
——
“This gorgeous red coat is a Saint Laurent double breasted cashmere and wool blend piece, perfect for wearing over dark shades. A must-have for a night out.”
“Don’t you already have, like, fourteen ‘night out’ coats?”
“Fifteen, but that is not important. This one is for very specific looks, the red will work perfectly with a number of outfits.
“You have four other red coats.”
“But not this shade of red, Eve!”
——
“What do you think of this blouse?”
“It’s really nice. I like the yellow.”
“Me too, it is a good shade of mustard. This is another Saint Laurent, a silk-chiffon pussy-bow blouse.”
“Ha, pussy.”
“Eve you are an adult woman.”
“You literally giggled at my tits this morning!”
“Well, yeah, they were right there. All nice and round.”
“And I’m not allowed to laugh at ‘pussy-bow’?”
“Fashion must be taken seriously.”
“Oh, piss off.”
“Okay, next-”
“Wait! You should, um…”
“What?”
“That navy jacket you got last week. The woolly one. Um… I think it was… Prada? You should wear that with the yellow shirt. Blouse, sorry.”
“Eve…”
“Is that a stupid suggestion? I just thought the navy and yellow would look nice together-”
“Eve. I have never been more attracted to you.”
“Oh.”
“Mhm.”
“I mean I’m kind of insulted that me talking fashion is the best I’ve ever looked in your eyes, but okay. Next outfit?”
“I love you.”
“Get on with it.”
——
“Okay, and finally…”
“Holy shit.”
“I know. This dress is a Bottega Veneta.”
“It’s got a turtleneck.”
“Yes, they are in now, you are lucky.”
“Shut up. God, Villanelle, that dress is gorgeous.”
“The sequins shimmer in the light, don’t they? I feel like liquid.”
“You look like… blood.”
“Hm. Is that a good thing?”
“I’d rather not look too much into my answer, but yes.”
“Blood. Fitting.”
“You look amazing.”
“Thank you Eve.”
“Like, really. It’s… hugging your hips. You look so good.”
“Eve, you flirt. Why don’t you take a picture?”
“Why would I do that? I live with you, I can see you whenever.”
“No, wait, this is a great idea! Let’s take pictures. Eve, take my picture, a fashion show with pictures.”
“Aren’t we done now? Can I get back to reading?”
“No. Let’s go outside to the arch, I’ll pose by the bushes.”
“But why? Who is this for?”
“For us, Eve. For me. It’s fun! You should allow yourself to indulge every once in a while, do something playful and silly, it is good for the soul. No one is going to judge you.”
“...”
“Do not get all thoughtful now, you have a job to do. Grab your phone, I am going to change into the blouse and coat again while it is still light outside.”
——
“Okay, I took it.”
“ It ? You do not just take one, Eve! Take many!”
“But I got it.”
“No, you didn’t, that is not how you take photos. Have you never taken a selfie with friends? You have to take lots so you can choose the best!”
“Oh. Okay. Uh, okay go back to where you were then.”
“Good. Take a lot.”
“Wait, stop moving.”
“Moving is part of it, I am transitioning from pose to pose.”
“I don’t- whatever.”
“Just point and click, we will work on your skills as a photographer later.”
“Oh come on, it is not that hard to take a picture.”
“Says the woman with her finger over the lens.”
——
“Okay, let me go change back into the spotty dress.”
“Why?”
“So I can have photos in all my new outfits!”
“But- how long will you be?”
“Five, ten minutes. I will even keep my hair the same so you do not need to wait so long.”
“Could you bring my book back with you at least? For the next outfit change?”
“Thinking ahead, Eve, I like it!”
——
“This is perfect, I will lean against the doorframe all lithe and beautiful with the darkness behind me. Ha, a metaphor!”
“You have not left the darkness behind you, Villanelle.”
“Um, yes I have? When was the last time I killed anyone?”
“Months ago, but you tripped a kid up in the park just yesterday.”
“He was annoying me.”
“He was chasing a butterfly!”
“Exactly! Who does that? He was never going to catch it, he did not have the special net.”
“Just… will you just pose, please?”
“I am posing. Have you not been taking pictures?”
“No? You’ve been talking!”
“Ugh, Eve, the open mouth look is cool now, appearing all vacant is in . If I am in front of the camera, take photos. It does not matter what I’m doing. See?”
“Okay…”
“Did you take one? How do I look?”
“Gormless. Like… well, like an idiot, to be honest.”
“Perfect.”
——
“Lean a bit more. Like… no, like, towards me. Yeah, stop there.”
“You are getting better.”
“Mm. The light from the kitchen looks great on your skin, Vil. Wait, let me crouch for a better angle.”
“See, isn’t this fun?”
“It’s fine.”
“It is so fun.”
“Tilt your head to the left just a little bit?”
“Oh Eve, this is so fun. I am so turned on.”
“ What ? Why!”
“The allure of fashion, Eve. The allure of fashion.”
——
“God that red is beautiful on you.”
“You really like the red dress, huh.”
“It drapes over you like water. It’s gorgeous. Here, sit between the pillars.”
“Like this?”
“Yeah but put your left hand on your stomach and let the right one drop. Yes, stay still.”
“Eve, you are very sexy like this.”
“Like what?”
“I am not sure. Commanding, maybe. And showing an interest in something I love.”
“I show interest in things you love all the time.”
“Like what?”
“Like… like your kills? Your job? I was super interested in those.”
“What about the present me? The me that has not killed in almost a year. What do you show an interest in that isn’t just me .”
“I- I don’t know. Oh no.”
“Mm.”
“And you show interest in everything I like… you let me talk about books and music and true crime. Oh my god, Vil I’m so sorry.”
“It is okay.”
“It’s not! That’s like… bad girlfriend stuff. God.”
“It's fine. I have never been really upset about it. Anyway, you are making up for it now.”
“I’ll do better.”
“You can do better by moving your phone, you are currently taking pictures of the wall.”
“Oh- okay, sorry, you’re in frame.”
“How should I pose next?”
“Put your right leg down so your heel is on the floor. No, keep the other one up. Okay, like that, stay.”
“I am not a dog.”
“Shh, sit. Good girl.”
“Kinky.”
“Ha, just- stay still a second. Okay. Okay, this is the money shot. Vil, come look.”
“Oh you are good at this, Eve! I look amazing. With your posing skills and my style and beauty and glow and figure and shoes and-”
“Stop. We make a good team, I get it.”
“We do. Show me the rest of the photos?”
“Wait, I want to take a few more. Go back between the pillars and sit down.”
“Here?”
“Yes. Okay, can you unbutton the dress so it, like, drapes over your shoulders.”
“Like this?”
“Perfect, now just… shrug the dress off.”
“...Eve, are you trying to get me to undress?”
“Listen to the posing master. Shrug it off to your waist.”
“I know what you are doing.”
“Okay, now all the way off.”
“Ha, Eve, you are so naughty.”
“Oof, you look good. Is that lingerie new too?”
“Mhm. What about the heels?”
“Keep them on. How comfortable is that concrete?”
“Not very.”
“Eh, you’ll survive.”
“Where are you going to- oh .”
“On your lap, yeah.”
“Is this the part where you suggest we take our own special photos?”
“Well, no, I wasn’t going to, but…”
“If we find the right pose?”
“Sure. If we find the right pose.”