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When Soobin entered highschool he was 5 foot 6 inches sporting the ugliest overgrown bowl cut known to mankind. His mother had promised to cut it for him the night before, but Soobin was too nervous to let her try. He could barely even glance back at that yearbook photo without getting a full body shudder.
That year did give him something important though, something he would take with him for a long time. Beomgyu was “the kid who never shut up in english class” until he was the kid that sat with him at lunch, and then he was Soobin’s best friend. He truly looked like a yappy little puppy back then, mop of unruly hair bouncing as he barked complaints about the school lunches or whichever teacher had given him a D that day.
He never let Soobin get away with an expression unmocked and never wasted a crumb on his plate. Soobin loved him dearly. Before school was full of awkward breaks that were more painful than the dull drone of class, and days at a small desk in the library pretending he would rather be there than playing with others outside. After he met Beomgyu it was much the same, but at least then he had someone to be awkward next to.
The following year he grew but in all the wrong ways. It felt like his limbs were in different timezones, his arms an hour ahead shooting out and hitting everything he passed, his torso a year behind all stout and compact. He gained 3 inches but none of them made a real impact.
But that was the best year of all as it was the one where he met Taehyun and Huening Kai. He found them in the R-S section of the library, playing a tough match of Uno that almost cost one a limb. In a streak of bone headed confidence he asked to play, and demanded Beomgyu come along. He would always be grateful for that day.
After that life was full of hands rubbing his tummy and friends bickering over the latest song lyrics in front of him, and he walked to lunch most days with a smile. School was still a pain, lord knows he might need two tutors to get through math, but it was all manageable for the most part.
There was that time that Taehyun and Beomgyu had a real fight, but he doesn’t like to think about that. A lot of ice cream and a heated debate later and they were done with that. If anything they seemed closer, whispering little things to each other even during class. Soobin mostly just stuck to Kai like gum, and they sprouted up that year together.
Junior year it all changed. Not in terms of the important stuff, like his friends or his grades, but his image. He still dressed in oversized shirts and slouched athletic wear, but now he had the figure to pull it off apparently. His hair was always a bit of a mess and he never bothered to scrub the stains from his favorite sweatshirt, yet all the same people began to take notice.
He got his first confession near the beginning of that year, a girl a grade younger who he thought might share Chemistry with Taehyun. She was sweet, and honestly when she finally got the words out it was his hand that couldn’t stop shaking. But he had to get out the truth, so he let her know. He was already taken.
Looking back, he really isn’t sure he should have confessed to that. In fact it feels bold of him to admit to having a boyfriend back then. But at that time all he could think of was her polite tone and the tears she might shed, so he was left with nothing but honesty to give.
The rumours started and spread fast, so much wider than Soobin thought. Of course at that time he had no idea he even had one other person looking his way. Not much truly changed from that day, except the gender of those asking to talk to him after class. By the end of the year Soobin had rejected 7 people all with the same phrase.
“I’m afraid someone else already has my heart.”
He wasn’t expecting to get cornered by the last boy of the year in the old gym, the boy’s sneakers squeaks almost as loud as his demands. Who was it that had captured their school’s resident pretty boy's heart before the rest could even attempt to snatch it? Soobin wouldn’t give him much, just a name and a rushed reason.
Choi Yeonjun, and he was living in America for a while.
Soobin thought part of the obsession must be the mystery, the very fact that no one knew who it was intriguing them all the more. By the time the first day of summer officially rolled around it seemed like all anyone could talk about was Choi Soobin’s imaginary boyfriend.
His friends hadn’t said much during the school year beyond a lot of playful jabs, but over summer things came to ahead. The lights were off and they were all in bed, high off the giggles of a sleepover and just on the other side of dead tired. There in the dark they lay bare a lot of parts the light hid.
Taehyun’s voice was a hesitant whisper, quiet but steady in the pitch black room.
“Soobin, who is this Choi Yeonjun? You don’t have to say if you don’t want to, but we all would like to know.”
Soobin couldn’t help but hesitate, once you guard a secret it's hard to let it go. But these were his people, with loyalty to none but him. So he started and never stopped.
He had met him gaming in seventh grade, through a DM that read “do you always die that often?” It had taken him three weeks to figure out that Yeonjun was actually teasing him, and that they actually might be friends. At the time Yeonjun lived only a few hours by train in Gunam, and they thought about meeting up frequently. Yet it never seemed to happen.
Then the summer before high school Yeonjun’s dad got a position in California thousands of miles away, and suddenly they both felt a lot more desperate. Two days before their fated meeting Soobin got a lengthy message, letting him know Yeonjun couldn’t see him without telling him the truth first.
It was long and pretty sappy and he couldn’t even really remember it well, Soobin had said that night. Later he would confess he reads it often, normally right before bed. When Soobin could get his fingers to stop shaking he sent back a pathetic “I like you too”. He mentioned that he deleted that, so he doesn’t have to see it and cringe.
They only had a long weekend together but it felt like something out of a story book. Soobin’s voice was close to a mumble when he admitted he still considers the memory his dearest treasure. It felt weird for a moment for his friends to hear him so in love, but none of them were actually judging. Well maybe Beomgyu fake gagged once, but he even said a little ‘that was cute’ right after.
Soobin was sure his friends regretted asking though, since after that he simply never shut up. He and Yeonjun texted everyday, and he would telegraph the news at the lunch table like it was the morning report. He told story after story of what Yeonjun was doing to that day, adding his own little comments along the way.
A cold day in september Yeonjun finally got his braces out, and his mom told him later he cried about the cracks in his phone case for a whole hour. A breezy day in January he found a wounded bird and tried to give it CPR, only to be scolded by an old man in the parkway. Eventually his friends would just ask right away: what was Yeonjun up to lately?
Beomgyu begged for a photo, Taehyun tried to bribe for it, and even Huening Kai tried to guilt him with the full sparkle eye look. But on that Soobin stayed firm. They all stopped after he admitted that Yeonjun’s pictures all felt special to him, like one of the only things he had of him that was tangible. It was a peculiar loneliness, to want and be wanted and still be so far away.
By the time spring arrived in his final year, he hadn’t gotten a new confession in two months, a personal record. It felt a little like old times, to walk down the hall and be passed over by every eye. Soobin was fine with it, glad to be back only conversing with his own circle after school. It was where he was now actually, chatting with Taehyun and Kai in the physics building about the latest steamed bun from Aunt Mojiun’s bakery down the street.
Soobin was walking down the dull concrete stairs when they bumped into Beomgyu, who had an unusually broad grin on his face. Taehyun was the one who asked him what was going on.
“You guys should come to the lawn, there's some cool new guy telling great stories by the fountain with the ducks! He’s so funny I almost snorted my banana milk right on him. He has flowers for someone, and everyone is hoping it's them.”
Soobin was less than enthusiastic if he was being honest, but he couldn’t deny the good humor in Beomgyu’s voice or the intrigue in Taehyun’s eye. So they set off walking in the lazy spring breeze, new blossoms littering the ground before them.
By the time they reached the lawn there was already a crowd, a big one for just the presence of one man. Soobin wasn’t sure how anyone could stand having that much attention on themselves, but maybe this boy was just a natural born entertainer. They got closer until they reached the side where less people were gathered, now able to clearly see into the middle. Soobin stopped moving a single muscle.
At the same time that Soobin glanced at the boy he too looked back, just in time for them to make brief contact. He had a pink mane of hair that was cut longer in the back, and a jean jacket that seemed notably mature against the sea of school uniforms. One of his arms was around their school's varsity soccer player and the other was gesturing along with an impassioned story that had stopped right in its tracks.
As soon as those cat-like eyes met his own they curved upwards, and the arm released back to his side. The boy turned sharply and began bounding towards them, white roses bouncing as he leapt over a bench for no good reason. His boots skidded to a halt as he landed right in front of them.
“I was looking for the prettiest person in the world, and at last I found you.”
He didn’t seem to mind that his line sounded like it was straight out of a ‘back of the shelf’ romance novel, and the sheer confidence made it almost work miraculous well.
Soobin sunk his burning cheeks into the broad palms of his hands, and made noises humans couldn’t decipher. The pink haired boy’s grin only grew bigger with each second, until his eyes almost disappeared.
Taehyun was a bit confused about what he should do about all this, especially because Soobin wasn’t dismissing this suitor as fast as he had gotten rid of the rest of them. But then again he reasoned, none had been quite so bold or public about it either. So when the stranger went to touch Soobins’s deflated shoulders, Taehyun was quick to stop him.
“I don’t think you should touch him sir, and I’m afraid I have some bad news for you.”
Now the man looked genuinely startled, eyebrows scrunched as Taehyun held onto his outreached arm.
“Soobin hasn’t accepted any confession since I’ve known him, as he’s already found someone important.”
This time it was Beomgyu who piped up from the back, his voice light and his tone sing song.
“Yep! Our Soobinie has had many many requests for his hand, but he always says the same thing since sophomore year: his heart belongs to another person.”
Soobin leapt from the crouching position he had been slumped in, slapping a hand over Beomgyus mouth with a whiny cry.
“Must you always be so loud?!”
The outsider looked almost dazed, mumbling about something that sounded like “since sophomore year?” Another voice joined the conversation, a girl from the group still lingering around observing the scene in preparation for tomorrow’s gossip cycle.
“Oh yeah don’t bother with our prince Soobin! He’s been waiting in his castle for his infamous imaginary boyfriend Choi Yeonjun for ages!”
Soobin could barely stand up after that, ears red hot and finger tips digging into his eyeballs. More puzzling however, the man in front of him threw his head back and laughed , giggling so hard he stopped making noise at all. Soobin raised a wobbly fist and started lightly pounding on the boy’s chest, his cries for him to shut up growing louder and louder.
Finally the man's chuckles died down and he pried Soobins hand from where they clasped to his face like magnets. He held them right to his heart, slowly bringing his face closer to Soobin’s rosy cheeks.
“I hope you know you’ve held my heart just as long, Choi Soobin.”
Soobin’s lips held firm in a pout but his stance relaxed, face melting as his boyfriend brought their lips into a gentle press. As they moved back Soobin couldn’t fight a smile, his eyes starting to shine like never before. Yeonjun returned the gaze and then turned his head, facing the three boys to his side.
“And you must be Taehyun- you with the glasses I’m assuming. You really are just as sharp as he said. And the blond- Beomgyu then? Why am I not surprised it was you exposing my Binnie today. And you, of course, Huening Kai. Gosh you really are as cute as he described and boy, he spent a lot of time doing that.”
Each boy nodded in turn, still a little unsure but realization finally settling in. Before they could say anything back though the man flipped around with full dramatics, and gave a bow to the stunned crowd. Head high and chest puffed, his voice carried for miles.
“And please let the people know, Soobin’s infamous imaginary boyfriend Choi Yeonjun, has arrived!”
Soobin’s hands stung the side of his stomach but Yeonjun just laughed, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and pulling him in tight. Soobin pressed a secret smile into his skin where he buried his face in Yeonjun’s neck, taking in the gentle scent he hadn’t experienced in so long. He closed his eyes, and prepared himself for all the questions. At least he would have his boyfriend here to help him answer them this time.