Chapter Text
“Santana, why are you always such a bitch?”
“Yeah, please just keep your snarky comments to yourself for once.”
Half of the glee club had exploded and were now talking over each other in an attempt to silence Santana after she bluntly criticized the boys’ performance of Frankie Valli’s ‘Can’t take my eyes off of you’. Admittedly, it had been a bit underwhelming, especially for such a good song, but they were still pretty offended when she declared they had completely butchered it and that she could’ve done better in her sleep.
Brittany tucked her hands under her thighs and hunched over in her chair, starting to feel stressed out at the general outburst. She’d become pretty good at reading all of the members over the past year and a half, and she had a feeling that this time, the insults might end up going too far because everyone was already stressed about nationals. And honestly, she didn’t want to find out what would happen if they did.
“Guys, stop the violence,” she mumbled, her voice drowned out by all the yelling, and Quinn reached over to squeeze her hand gently.
The two blondes exchanged nervous expressions before looking at Santana, who was surprisingly quiet.
“If you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything at all! It’s not a hard concept to grasp,” Rachel snapped and a few voices rose up in assent. “Or we could return the favour, if you’d prefer? Because your performances aren’t as flawless as you think they are either! How would you like it if every time you sang something, we just told you it sucked? You’re just jealous that these guys are all just as talented as you, if not more, and it’s really not fair of you to take that out on them.”
Quinn’s grip tightened around Brittany’s hand but she barely noticed, her fingers curling up into fists of their own.
To an outsider, and most likely to the majority of the room, Santana’s expression was impassive. She looked almost annoyed at the way everyone was ganging up on her, but Brittany knew better. Years of encouraging the brunette to lower her defenses and let people in had taught her that the poker face she could see right now was a facade threatening to crumble.
Her suspicions were confirmed when Santana stood up, her jaw clenched.
“I was just trying to offer some constructive criticism. But if you don’t want that, fine. I quit.”
She swept out of the room without another word, and Brittany felt a pang of guilt when she realized three things; first, Santana’s voice had cracked subtly, which meant she was already close to tears; second, no one had lifted a finger to defend her - including me, she thought; and last, pretty much every single person in the school had called her a bitch (in addition to a slew of other insults) by now, even the one club that always preached love and acceptance.
Quinn untangled their fingers and picked up her bag, her hazel eyes meeting a piercing blue gaze as they both made to follow Santana. It was at times like these that Brittany really appreciated the way the Unholy Trinity was so tight-knit that they each knew what the two others were thinking just from the slightest twitch. And right now, both blondes knew that Santana needed them a whole lot more than the rest of the club did.
They had just reached the door when Kurt spoke up softly. “I feel like we could’ve handled that better…”
***
While Quinn disappeared to check the bathrooms and the girls’ locker room, Brittany headed outside.
Under other circumstances, she would’ve paused to watch the way her breaths still came out in wispy little clouds like a dragon, but she was too focused searching for her best friend to let anything else steal her attention.
Brittany pulled her jacket tighter around her body, shivering slightly in the cool spring air. As she speed-walked towards the bleachers, she made a mental note to not wear a skirt the next day - it had cooled down again recently and she could feel goosebumps forming across the exposed skin of her legs. She was about to try fumbling with her jacket zipper when a movement caught her eyes and she picked up her pace.
As she had suspected, Santana was huddled there with her forehead resting on her knees, as far away from the school building as she could. Her leather jacket was draped over her shoulders and she looked so small that Brittany’s heart clenched at the sight.
She didn’t try concealing the noise of her boots against the metal of the bleachers; she had learned the hard way that sneaking up on Santana when she was upset or in deep thought always resulted in a very aggressive reaction, although the brunette apologized abundantly every single time she had accidentally elbowed Brittany. Instead, the blonde pulled out her phone and sent Quinn a quick text.
To Quinnie:
Found her, far corner of bleachers. - B
With that done, she jogged the rest of the way to her best friend. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, most likely a reply from Quinn, but she couldn’t be bothered to check it just yet.
“Hey, San,” she whispered as she wrapped her arms around the shorter girl.
Santana didn’t reply, or even move, but relaxed slightly in the blonde’s embrace. She was shaking almost unnoticeably, and Brittany was about to chalk it up to the chilly air until she heard a muffled sob. Her instincts took over and she adjusted herself so that she could pull Santana into her lap and wrap both of their coats around them. The Latina shifted into a more comfortable position and soon enough, her tears were dampening the fabric against her shoulder.
“Oh, honey,” she cooed softly as she pressed a kiss on the top of Santana’s head and traced circles across the girl’s shoulders and back. “It’s okay, I’m here. Let it out.”
Eventually, her trembles subsided and she let out a soft sigh against Brittany’s collarbone. Her voice was muffled when she finally spoke up.
“Britt… Am I a bad person?”
“What?” Brittany immediately pulled back to take in her best friend’s face and her stomach dropped at the sight of Santana’s still watery eyes and the way her bottom lip was quivering. “No, honey, of course not. You’re the nicest person I know.”
“But Rachel said-”
“Since when do you care about what Rachel thinks, though? We both know she’s super selfish and judgy. Like, even more than Lord Tubbington is.”
“It isn’t just her, Britt. You heard them, they all think I’m mean and horrible and they hate me for it and they’re probably right…”
Brittany frowned, reaching over to cup Santana’s face in her hand, and delicately brushed away the tears rolling down her cheeks.
“That’s because they don’t know you like I do. The Santana Lopez I know- ” the Latina let out a shaky chuckle at her forced Spanish accent.
“-Is so kind,” she paused to quickly kiss Santana’s forehead. “And patient.” Another kiss, this time on the tip of her nose. “And caring.” A kiss on her cheek. “And loyal to her friends.” A kiss on her other cheek. “And she doesn’t like showing it because she prefers to be seen as the badass she is, but she’s also a total softie.” Brittany leaned in to kiss the corner of Santana’s mouth and the girl swatted her away gently with a giggle before her smile faded again.
“And maybe they just aren’t willing to look past the way you show affection by making fun of people and picking fights like you do with Quinn, but it’s their loss. You’re one of the best people I’ve ever known, Santana, and it’s their fault that they’re missing out on all of your awesomeness. So please, please, don’t let their cruel words get to you,” she finished earnestly.
Brittany pressed their foreheads together and stared deep into Santana’s eyes, trying to convey all of the extra love she didn’t know how to verbalize. She could see all of the mixed emotions swirling around in a murky sea of brown, devoid of its usual sparkle. For a moment, she half expected the girl to look away because she always claimed she hated making eye contact with other people when she was upset, but Santana was staring straight back at her as if she knew exactly what the blonde was trying to say.
They stayed in that position for what felt like seconds and hours at the same time, not even moving when Quinn appeared and joined their embrace with a soft, “We love you, Santana.”
***
True to her word, Santana refused to go to glee club the next day, or even acknowledge the existence of its members. Not that Brittany or Quinn blamed her, of course.
Tina, Mercedes and Artie had tried approaching them at lunch, probably to ask them to reconsider their decision to quit, but the Latina had thrown them a thunderous glance that made them back away before they could get within ten feet of her. If looks could kill, Brittany always thought an angry Santana would be capable of leaving hundreds of dead bodies in her wake.
The trio didn’t have anything important to do after school now that they had all quit glee, but Quinn had suggested that they meet in the gym anyway just to hang out and dance, and the other two readily agreed. Since Brittany was the only one who didn’t have a free period at the end of the day, they decided she’d just meet up with them after her math class ended.
As soon as the bell rang, she bounded out of her seat, set on joining her friends as quickly as she could. However, the world seemed to have other plans for her. Mike was waiting at her locker, Tina by his side. Before either of them could speak up, Brittany scowled at them.
“There are only two possible reasons you guys could be here right now. Either you’re trying to induct me into your secret genius squad because you’ve finally realized that I’m easily the smartest person in this entire school - no, the entire state of Ohio, or you’re about to beg me to rejoin glee club.”
Tina looked like she genuinely had no idea how to react to anything she had just said, but Mike was unfazed.
“Brittany, we need you guys. You’re all so talented and it would be pretty much impossible for us to find anyone to replace the three of you, especially this close to nationals.”
“No. I’m not rejoining glee and neither are Quinn and Santana - at least until you all apologize for the stuff you said. You guys were really mean to San yesterday and I don’t tolerate bullying.”
“I told you she’d say no,” Tina whispered in her boyfriend’s ear. “Come on, we can’t force her to do anything. Let’s just go.”
The dancer looked like he was about to argue, but when he saw Brittany’s resolute frown and clenched jaw, he just sighed and let himself get dragged to the choir room with one last plea. “Just consider it, Britt. Please?”
Once she was alone, Brittany rested her head against the cool metal of her locker and pinched the bridge of her nose. This entire situation was so frustrating. Not the part that involved choosing sides; she would always support Santana without hesitating. She was more annoyed at the New Directions’ attitudes towards the Unholy Trinity.
Her phone buzzed, shaking her out of her thoughts before she could get too riled up.
From San <3:
Britt-Britt, u coming soon? we’re thinking about going to breadstix instead of hanging here - S
A smile formed on her lips almost immediately.
To San <3:
can’t say no to the stix ;) i’ll meet u in the parking lot - B
As she skipped her way down the hallway, she heard voices coming from the choir room and automatically slowed down to listen.
“... not showing up.”
“Well, good riddance! It’s not like they ever wanted to be here in the first place.” Brittany wrinkled her nose at the sound of Rachel’s voice. She had hoped she’d get used to it eventually but, no success there. “Mr. Schue, since Quinn, Santana and Brittany are no longer with us trying to steal the spotlight, it would only make more sense to have me perform a solo at nationals. In addition to a duet with Finn of course, because we obviously have the best musical chemistry in this room.”
The blonde squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself to ignore all the voices rising up to argue amongst themselves about who deserved to perform. It’s not worth it, Britt, she reminded herself. They’re not worth your time, just think about the breadsticks.
She started walking again, only to find that her feet were leading her straight into the choir room and the words were tumbling out of her mouth before she could stop herself.
“Okay, all of you, shut up! I have something to say and you’re all gonna sit down and listen because I’m tired of this,” she snapped, gaining everyone’s attention.
“Brittany, what are you-”
“Sorry, not sorry Mr. Schue, this is important.” Brittany glared at each member individually, pride rushing through her body when they all recoiled under her gaze. “You guys have all been treating Santana like shit lately and enough is enough. Stop calling her a bitch and telling her she’s mean, because it’s not even remotely true.”
Rachel stood up, her fingers balled up in little fists at her sides, and shrugged Kurt’s placating hand off her shoulder. “Are you kidding me? Have you seen the way she treats us? She thinks she’s so much better than the rest of us and it’s sickening!”
Brittany was about to point out how ridiculously hypocritical those words were when coming out of Rachel’s mouth, of all people, but the rest of the members were starting to speak up too.
“As much as I hate saying it, Berry is kinda right. The girl may be crazy talented but she does have an attitude…” Mercedes murmured, shooting the blonde a guilty look.
Next to her, Artie was fidgeting with his gloves and avoiding eye contact with her. “Yeah, she hasn’t been the nicest person lately. Or, you know, since before any of us even joined this club.”
“Santana is the best person I’ve ever known,” Brittany seethed. “You may not see it because you’re all blind and clearly you need to get your eyes checked or something, but she’s the only person who’s ever been endlessly patient with me and accepted me for who I am without judging me once. When we were on the Cheerios and Coach Sylvester would say mean stuff to us during practice, she would always buy me ice cream or candy afterwards and remind me that I’m not stupid and useless. And when people laugh at me in class she makes them shut up with her vicious, vicious words and tells me that they’re only calling me dumb because they don’t understand the way my brain works.”
She didn’t even realize she had moved at all until she found herself inches away from Rachel, the other girl shrivelling under her gaze.
“She knows I get really confused when we’re studying for quizzes so she finds other ways to explain things so that they make sense to me, even if it takes her all day. When Mike and I had to choreograph for Valerie and he was too busy with schoolwork, Santana spent hours rehearsing with me because I wanted it to be perfect and she didn’t complain once, not even when she got super tired after rehearsing the really hard parts like lifting me up over and over again. And every time Lord Tubbington runs away, she comes over to help me put up flyers and search the neighbourhood until we find him. She even lent me money so I could bail him out of jail that time he got arrested for dealing drugs to minors.”
Brittany leaned in closer to Rachel’s face. Her voice dropped into a growl and she poked the shorter girl’s chest threateningly with her finger. “So don’t you dare look me in the eyes and tell me she’s a horrible person, because you don’t know the first thing about her.”
A hand landed softly on her shoulder and she backed away to find Mercedes standing next to her with a nervous grimace on her face. She opened her mouth like she was about to apologize on behalf of the New Directions, but another voice piped up before the words could come out.
“Not that I don’t like Santana or anything but have you considered the fact that she’s so nice to you because you two are actually friends? She doesn’t like the rest of us so of course she’d treat us differently.”
Everyone turned to look at Tina and she automatically shrunk back against Mike, especially under Brittany’s withering gaze.
It was probably a genuinely innocent question, since Tina was nice to everyone, but Rachel jumped on the opportunity to complain again. She was being surprisingly persistent with her whining and it was becoming a bit too frustrating for the blonde’s pacifist nature.
“Tina’s right - Santana doesn’t care about us the way she does about you. I don’t think she’s ever done anything to help anyone else in here.”
Brittany immediately rounded on the brunette again, not even trying to fight down the anger bubbling within her anymore.
“ Really? Because I can list a bunch of times she has stuck up for you guys. Like the fact that we all quit the Cheerios to perform with you even though we didn’t have to? Or that time she got Karofsky to stop being such a bully so that Kurt could come back to school here without having to be scared for his life? Or Mercedes, when Santana chose you as her duet partner because she genuinely thinks you’re talented? Or Sam - when she told you Quinn was cheating on you with Finn? And even just the fact that we originally joined glee last year to, uh...” the blonde faltered, hands flailing around as if she could somehow pluck the word she was looking for out of thin air.
“... sabotage?”
“Yes, thank you, Kurt.” She flashed the boy a quick smile before her expression hardened again as she surveyed the room. “We were supposed to sabotage the glee club but in case you didn’t notice, we gave up on that pretty quickly. And we could’ve quit ages ago because no one forced us to stay, but we didn’t do that either because we all like singing and dancing and maybe Santana doesn’t wanna admit it, but she does actually care about you just as much as Quinn and I do.”
An awkward silence fell upon the group. Everyone stared at Brittany and it finally occurred to her that none of them had actually seen her get angry before now - not that it mattered, really. If anything she hoped they would be more inclined to take her words seriously after that outburst.
She was still trying to regulate her breathing when her phone buzzed again in her pocket and she remembered she was supposed to be on her way to Breadstix with her best friends by now.
“I have to go now,” she mumbled, spinning on her heel and stalking out of the choir room with her hands shoved deep in her jacket pockets. Part of her was tempted to look back and revel a bit longer in the stunned expressions she had induced, but she fought the urge. She had already wasted enough time on the glee club for today.
***
Out in the parking lot, Santana and Quinn were soaking in the early spring sunlight as they leaned against Quinn’s car. They were both laughing at something and Brittany paused to watch them from afar. She could tell their smiles were genuine because Santana’s dimples were on full display and Quinn was struggling to stand upright, and the sight of her friends both letting their guards down was enough to start dissipating her frustration.
Brittany had almost closed the distance between them when Santana caught sight of her and beamed wider, eyes sparkling golden in the sun.
“Britt-Britt! What took you so long?”
She didn’t seem upset by the blonde’s tardiness, just genuinely happy to see her. It brought a hesitant smile to Brittany’s face when she thought about how impatient Santana usually was with everyone, especially when she was in a bad mood like she had been all day.
“Sorry, got caught up dealing with some stuff.”
Quinn narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “Brittany, you look really stiff and your face is red. Did something happen?”
She felt her stomach drop. Quinn had always been attentive enough to notice the slight changes in her demeanour, and now that she was almost right next to the girls, she could tell Santana had noticed something was off too because her eyebrows were scrunched up cutely and her smile was fading.
“Are you okay, Britt? Do I need to go all Lima Heights on someone’s ass?”
“Wh- no, of course not! Everything’s fine, nothing happened,” she stammered. “It’s no big deal, I promise.” It wasn’t a very convincing lie but Brittany really didn’t feel like telling them about the way the glee club had tried dissing Santana again, even though she figured they might stop now that she had snapped at them. She didn’t want the playful twinkles in her friends’ eyes to disappear - not now that they were both in good moods.
Luckily, they dropped the subject, but not without casting concerned glances at her as they got in the car.
***
They had almost gotten through three baskets of breadsticks before Santana crossed her arms on the table and leaned forward to scrutinize Brittany’s face. The blonde stared straight back at her, eyes wide and confused as she sipped her iced tea.
She didn’t really know what was going through her friend’s mind but she couldn’t stop herself from feeling warm and giddy under the girl’s gaze.
“Britt, did something happen earlier to piss you off? Your smile seemed kinda forced earlier and I’m a bit worried.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Quinn rest her own elbows on the table, suddenly very invested in the conversation.
Oh. So they didn’t forget, after all.
“Um, well…” Brittany shifted awkwardly in her seat and glanced down at the half-melted ice cubes in her drink. She couldn’t help but wonder what being an ice cube would feel like. Probably pretty peaceful, since all they do is float around until they’ve become one with whatever liquid they’re in. Maybe it was similar to the feeling people got during the summer when they could just relax and float around their pools while the sun kept them warm, or how cats can kinda change shape to fit into different spaces like how Lord Tubbington looks like a cube when he sits in boxes.
Santana cleared her throat gently and the blonde snapped out of her thoughts to find her waiting with an expectant frown.
“I was on my way to find you guys but I passed by the choir room and, uh…” Her eyes darted around, desperately searching for something to fixate on so she wouldn’t have to look at either of her friends. “They were saying mean stuff about you again. Well, it was actually mainly Rachel, but no one was stopping her.”
She heard a faint scoff and almost tore her gaze from the distorted reflection - or was it called refraction? - of her straw through her tea. She fought the temptation to look, though, because it was a lot more interesting than the way Santana’s face always became eerily expressionless when she heard people insulting her, or the way Quinn’s pretty hazel eyes lost all of their softness when she got upset.
“I wanted to walk away, I really did, because I don’t like getting into fights and stuff. But I’m so sick of hearing them talk about you like that when they don’t even know the real you; the really sweet and patient Santana who hugs me when I’m sad and will drop everything to help me even if we’re fighting -”
A tan hand intertwined their fingers together and Brittany squeezed it back immediately, her eyes still fixed on the straw. “So I went in there to yell at them for a bit and I guess I just lost track of time,” she finished quietly.
When the silence eventually became unbearable, she lifted her head and her lips curved into a confused frown because neither of the girls across from her looked mad.
Quinn was smiling fondly at her, a mixture of love and pride playing across her features. “I always knew you had it in you to slap some sense into everyone, Britt,” she murmured.
Brittany was almost tempted to point out that the other blonde’s statement wasn’t actually correct since she didn’t slap anyone (even if she wished she had), but instead she chanced a peek at the third member of the Unholy Trinity.
Santana still hadn’t said anything, but as it turned out, she didn’t have to because it was written all over her face; from the way her eyes were shining, to the way the corners of her lips were quirked up almost imperceptibly, to the way her cheeks were pink and starting to bunch up under her eyes. She shook her head slightly, as if to say, ‘You didn’t have to do that,’ but her grip on Brittany’s hand was a tell-tale sign that it was definitely appreciated.
***
She smiled a lot at Brittany the next day. To the point where their classmates had noticed and were starting to get really weirded out, because she had spent the entire day before that throwing death-glares at anyone and everyone - including teachers. Mr Schuester had fully avoided looking in her direction during Spanish.
The dimples were still visible when Kurt sidled up to her locker and told her that he didn’t think she was a bitch; he just didn’t always appreciate the nicknames she came up with for him and found her scary at times, but also he knew she cared about him because of the time she threatened to crack Karofsky’s nuts and whip razor blades out of her hair. And it wasn’t like he didn’t have his own affectionate nicknames for her, too. He and Mercedes were the first ones to start calling her Satan, so he never really complained about hers. They didn’t hug, but Kurt did squeeze her shoulder gently before disappearing into the crowded hallway.
Finn and Puck joined their lunch table and apologized for not stepping in when Rachel went too far, before changing the subject and talking about dumb boy stuff no one really cared about to make them laugh. Puck even punched Santana’s arm playfully and stole some of her food when she grinned and retaliated by trying to mess up his mohawk. They looked a bit like siblings joking around together, if you ignored the fact that she’d had sex with both boys in the past.
When Sam popped up out of nowhere to sling an arm over her shoulders with a Darth Vader impression, she greeted him with a cheerful ‘Hey, Trouty,’ and didn’t put any real effort to push him away. He left them with an abnormally wide grin (at least compared to most people) and a pair of finger guns, calling ‘See you guys in glee’ over his shoulder as he went. Santana just chuckled and Brittany immediately texted Quinn to let her know they’d be staying after school.
And when the Unholy Trinity all entered the choir room at the end of the day, Santana just rolled her eyes at the sound of excited cheering and waved at Mercedes and Tina to stop, but her cheeks were slightly flushed and she couldn’t quite wipe the smile off her face. Brittany wasn’t convinced she was even trying to hide it anymore. Maybe getting angry really did have its perks.