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Congratulations on your tenth birthday! As you grow, you will shortly enter the most exciting and spiritually-potent phase of your life: your childbearing years. This pamphlet will prepare you for this most glorious undertaking.
Remember, ask your parents or a Sister about any unanswered questions—they want you to be happy and fertile. Nothing is dearer to the heart of a mother than holding her first grandchild in her welcoming arms.
I: Your Monthly Courses
How will I know when my childbearing years begin?
Have you ever seen a flower bear fruit? As you grow into a woman, your body will undergo amazing changes: your bosom and hips will grow, and hair will appear under your arms and on your womanly parts. Most excitingly, your blood will fill your womb to prepare it for children to come.
Every month, you will bleed for five to seven days. Your so-called “monthly courses” (also known as your “red reeds” or your “period”) will signal this new stage in your life.
When will my monthly courses begin?
Every girl is different, and the Lord’s purposes for you are many and various. Some girls begin their journey into womanhood at twelve or thirteen; others start their courses at eight or nine. If you have already begun your monthly rituals, do not panic or fret—this is perfectly normal.
Some girls, generally known as “oblates,” begin bleeding before their young bodies can sustain a child. If this is you, you have been given a very special gift. Tell your parents or a Sister of the Holy Woman immediately so that prayerful action may be taken.
Whenever your courses begin, ask your parents what to do. They will be happy to supply you with the necessary sanitary belts and sacred reeds.
What if my period is late?
Tell a Sister of the Holy Woman if your bleeding does not begin past age fourteen. Such cases typically result from spiritual injury and, if left unchecked, can lead to permanent infertility.
Remember, the Lord wants you to bear children!
What if my courses hurt?
The Lord’s gifts are often humbling and mortifying to the flesh. However, if monthly pain is completely incapacitating, boil White Claudia leaves into your tea for temporary relief.
Will my period make me impure?
No! The Lord loves a fertile woman.
If you miss two consecutive monthly periods, consult a Sister about your spiritual status.
II: Sexual Congress
How are children conceived?
Children are conceived when a man lies down in bed with a woman and puts his “serpent” into her womb. You may have seen your brother’s or your father’s serpent at bathtime! Don’t worry—with work and a bit of deep breathing, it will fit.
If you are especially young, your husband’s serpent may not fit immediately. If this is the case, contact a Sister about artificial options.
Does it hurt?
Only uncouth men brutally shove their members between their wives’ legs without regard for their pleasure. In a Godly marriage, you can expect considerable pleasure from your conjugal bed.
Remember, it is written that “you men must please your sisters, for from their bodies came the Lord.”
Can I have sex with any man I want?
Only the Sisters, who do not marry, are given this privilege—this is to ensure that they may bear their own children, as is prescribed by the Old Laws. (See Rev. Mother Gillespie’s third Bull on Fertility.)
Your husband will be taught to satisfy you. Never fear.
This rule exists to prevent mingling of blood with the sons and daughters of Shepherd’s Glen. It is written that the bloodlines of Shepherd’s Glen are sullied and unwholesome, and no children born of such a union may be baptized in Toluca Lake.
Remember, unless you know their family, you don’t really know them!
III: Pregnancy
What if I’m infertile?
Infertility generally results from spiritual error. Perhaps you have too eagerly sought after a child, neglecting your obligations to the Saint Ladies. Perhaps you have too long neglected your evening prayers. Consult with a Sister about the status of your soul.
Infertility is not to be taken lightly.
What if I die in childbirth?
You will be borne up gloriously into heaven, for you have died doing the Lord’s work.
Your family will be provided for by the Church. Any excess children will be raised at the Wish House Orphanage—so don’t worry!
What if I’m an oblate?
You will not be expected to have sex. Artificial options will be pursued.