Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It’s the best idea he’s ever had.

It hits him as he’s opening the fridge in the Chateau to grab another beer for him and Pope. He would even go so far as to say that it’s even better than when he came up with getting the Phantom for John B and Sarah the summer they went after the gold (if he chooses to block out what happened afterwards when his Dad found out then that’s his business, and besides, it was worth it). He tells the others as such when he pushes open the porch door and heads over to them in the hammocks, beers in hand.

“I’ve literally had the best idea ever.”

“No you haven’t.” He should have known Pope would say something along those lines, I mean he doesn’t even know why he’s surprised.

“I have.” He retorts back, opening a beer with his teeth and pushing it into the other boy’s hands, restraining the urge to pour it over his head instead.

“No you haven’t.” Pope continues, taking a sip, “The best idea ever would be something along the lines of curing cancer or something to make people live forever or --”

“Shut up Pope.” John B’s arm shoots out and aims for Pope’s hammock to push him but somehow ends up rolling out of his own and ending up on the floor instead. Sarah flails for a minute at the sudden lack of weight in their hammock but manages to right herself at the last minute. JJ, never one to miss an opportunity, flicks both beer caps at Pope’s head to punctuate the statement.

“Ah fuck. Sorry.” John B props himself up on his knees and indicates for JJ to go on, ignoring his girlfriend who’s now making grabby hands at him, “You were saying…?”

“So, we’ve got a whole three months of glorious summer ahead of us, right?” A couple of nods so, knowing he has their attention, he carries on, “And now we’re officially old enough to have access to the gold, plus it may be the only chance we get to do something like this… how about a road trip?”

There’s a pause.

“You were right, Pope.” Kie pipes up, lying back in her hammock and disappearing from view, “It’s not the best idea ever. In fact, it’s probably not even the best idea you’ve had today, J.”

He sighs. He doesn’t know what he’s done in a past life to deserve these people as his friends but really, they could be just a little bit more enthused. He looks back to John B who’s now stood up and pacing around the campfire, running his hands through his hair.

“Hey now, wait a minute Kie. He has a point. I mean, come September me and Sarah will be heading back to Charleston, Pope will be heading back to the West Coast and graduating so who knows if he’ll even return –-“

“Hey!”

“Sorry bro, but it’s true. You’re more likely to get a graduate programme out there where you have connections. Then Kie’s off to New Zealand or wherever the fuck they have turtles –-“

“Australia.”

“It’s basically the same. And JJ will be busy going full fucking kook that he definitely won’t have time for the rest of us anymore.”

He knew he could count on his best friend. He appreciates the grin John B sends his way, really he does, but it doesn’t quite squash the hole that once again opens up in his chest. The same hole that has been there since he realised that they were all leaving the OBX and, by extension, him behind.

At least John B had made it seem like he had a purpose for staying.

He’s been ignoring the fact that it took him a long time to get used to John B and Sarah being gone and, by default, becoming a third wheel to Kie and Pope’s relationship (albeit a very short one) but he’d done it. Then, just when he'd felt some sense of normality again, they’d received a phone call from some unknown number in the Bahamas and he’d had to get used to another weird sense of reality. That was five years ago and since then he’s had to deal with Kie and Pope’s breakup (if that’s what you could even call the ten minute conversation that basically changed nothing), Sarah and Pope going away to college (he’s still unsure as to how Sarah somehow managed to worm her way into the measly bit of heart he has left and earn herself an honorary Pogue title. He thinks that maybe it was when she’d ran over to him when she’d returned with John B, sunburnt and happy and with the gold in tow, looked him in the eye and said an earnest ‘I missed you’ before throwing her arms around him. He hadn’t even had time to be shocked before he’d hugged her back), John B deciding to join his girlfriend a year later and then getting used to it being just him and Kie which, if he’s being completely honest, he hadn’t been that upset about.

He walks over and slides into the hammock he had previously vacated, the girl in question rolling over and curling into his side. He knows that they’ve grown far too comfortable with each other over the past two years, so much so that it’s become second nature to fend off questions about when they’re going to settle down whenever they see someone they know in town.

(John B had thought this was hilarious the first time it happened in his presence but, after the fourth or fifth time, he’d pulled him aside and asked him, seriously this time, if anything was actually going on. JJ had wholeheartedly told him no.)

He knows that this time it’s going to take him even longer to get used to being on his own because Kie’s not going to be around, persuading him to get up and go surfing or go for a walk, or anything that doesn’t involve day drinking until it’s time to go to sleep and then just repeating the day after. He’s already had to promise her multiple times that he’s not going to do that again.

He smiles to himself slightly as Kie subconsciously nudges closer. They’ve had many discussions over the past couple months about her leaving and him staying here. Privately he calls them arguments, but he’d never say that to her face. They’d stopped talking for two (very long) days after a particularly bad one but she’d turned up at the Chateau at the crack of dawn on the third day, looking sheepish, and told him that she’d stop asking him to go with her if he at least promised to think about it. He’d nodded before she’d pulled him into a hug, if he’s being honest with himself he would have agreed to anything at that moment just to have her talking to him again.

“I like the idea.” Sarah pipes up, agreeing with John B, “I mean, we’ve got the funds, we’ve got the Twinkie, we’re 21, we can go anywhere, do anything--“

“--within reason.”

“Yes ok, within reason, thank you Pope.” JJ grins at her eye roll. “Does this mean you’re a yes too?”

There’s a slight huff followed by, “Yeah, I guess so.”

John B and Sarah whoop in delight.

“Wait. Does this mean I can make a road trip playlist?” Sarah asks, looking over at him. He shrugs and takes a sip of his beer. “I’ll take that as a yes!”

She shoots up out of her hammock, stumbling slightly, before grabbing John B’s hand and dragging him inside. Pope stands up too and heads after them, muttering something about his friends and how he always gets roped into things but there’s no heat to his words. JJ grins and brings one of his arms behind his head, causing Kiara to fall more into his side, the other still clutching his beer.

“Hey, you haven’t voiced your opinion yet.” He says, his eyes flickering down to her face where she’s looking off into the distance, not really focusing on anything, “Kie?”

“Hmm, what?” She blinks a couple of times, her eyes refocusing and looking back up at him. “Sorry, what did you say?”

“How much weed have you had?”

“Fuck off. No more than you but definitely more than Sarah who really should have developed more of a tolerance for it by now.” Her words are punctuated by a loud, high pitched laugh from indoors. 

He feels the grin on his face widen, if that’s even possible, and asks again, “Ok, but - what about the road trip?”

She shrugs, rolling her eyes at his impatience, “Oh yeah, that. I’m in. It was never a question.”

“Good.” Then pauses, his beer halfway to his lips as he looks down at her again. “Are you sure your parents are gonna be ok with you running off with the four of us again?”

She grimaces as she pushes herself up and off him, “As much as it pains me, if Sarah’s going then I don’t think it’ll be much of a problem. I’ll tell them it’s us bonding or some shit.”

He bites down on his lip to stop from laughing out loud. ”Bonding. Right.”

He smiles, his eyes following her as she treks back to the Chateau, turning into full blown laughter as she throws her middle finger up at him without turning round and disappears inside.

---

And that’s how, one week and twenty five discussions on the route, food and where they’d be staying later, he finds himself piling into the Twinkie with the other four Pogues alongside their backpacks, plenty of snacks and (much to JJ’s delight) their surfboards strapped to the roof. 

He’d offered to drive first, it had been his idea after all, and he couldn’t wait to get started. He vaguely remembered going on holiday once before with his Mom when he was 8 to visit some far off relatives, but since then the most he’d ventured away from home was getting the ferry to the mainland. There was no spare money for gallivanting when you were too busy living from pay cheque to pay cheque. He hadn’t told the others any of this, but he sensed that they knew how important this was to him anyway.

“Is it bad if I crack open the snacks yet?”

“Yes, John B, we’ve only been on the road for 40 minutes.”

“But Sarah, I’m absolutely starving! It’s been so long since I last ate, I think I might waste away…”

“The last time you ate was literally 45 minutes ago when I told you to finish your sandwich before we left…”

JJ shook his head as he settled back into the driver’s seat, one hand on the wheel and the other resting on the open window, tuning out the bickering coming from the back seat. A quick glance in the rear view mirror showed that Pope had pulled his hood over his head and had curled up away from the arguing couple.

“I swear to God that boy can literally sleep anywhere.” He glances over at Kie, next to him in the passenger seat, who was frantically queuing songs for the first lap of the journey. They’d agreed in advance - with only a small amount of squabbling - that John B and Sarah would be co-pilots and him and Kie for their respective laps of the journey, with Pope as back up should any of them get tired. “So much for him offering support if I decide to have a nap.”

He laughs and she looks over at him, her eyes roaming his face.

“What?” His spare hand comes up to pull his cap up and then back down again, he knows it’s a nervous habit but that doesn’t stop him from doing it anyway.

“Nothing. It’s just that, well, I think this is the first time since John B and Sarah came back that I’ve seen you look this happy. I know for sure that I’ve not heard you laugh like that for a long time.”

He thinks to himself that she probably hasn’t. His Dad is far behind where he can’t touch him. He’s got his friends, food, water, gas and nothing but road for miles. He shrugs, his face transforming into a grin.

“Hey, what does John B always say?”

His eyes flicker over to her again before looking back to the road ahead as she laughs then answers, “Our mission this summer is to have a good time, all the time.”

And that’s exactly what he intends to do.

Chapter Text

Sometimes she wonders why she chose to hang around with three idiot boys (give or take Pope and whether or not he gives into the peer pressure at any particular moment in time) but then one of them will pull her into a hug even she didn’t know she needed, or offer to pick up some Hershey’s Kisses from the store (basic as fuck, she knows, but she also doesn’t care), or just sit and offer her a beer and let her talk about saving the environment without saying anything, and she knows that she wouldn’t trade them for the world. 

Today is not one of those days. 

“John B, I swear to God if you do not get your ass out the shower right this instant, I will do things to you that will make you wish you had never been born.” 

The shower water shuts off and, for a moment, she thinks that maybe he’s actually listened to her for once before she hears a phone speaker begin blasting out music and the water switch back on. She screams in frustration. Throwing her towel around her shoulders, she turns around and stomps back down the corridor in the direction of her room, questioning why she’d even agreed to this trip in the first place.  

They’d all decided that their first stop would be Charleston, mainly because it seemed like a good place to have their first stop of the trip, they all already knew parts of it, and also because it wasn’t too far from the OBX (around six to seven hours as Pope had informed them when he’d woken up midway through JJ’s driving stint yesterday afternoon and asked if they should maybe swap otherwise he’d be too tired from driving to explore. JJ had muttered something about not exploring anything involving history or shopping with a dark look to both Sarah and Pope in the back seat, but had pulled over at the next stop anyway). They’d begun to get grouchy around hour four as the sun began to set and dusk set in, and by the time they’d reached Charleston all five of them were in the mood for food, then sleep, and nothing else.  

They’d all agreed in advance about booking a hostel for the first night, which even Kie can admit had seemed reasonable at the time, but she was beginning to regret that now too. The hostel Pope and Sarah had picked looked nice and homely from the outside, but inside was a different story. Sure, she likes the Chateau and, as her parents would say, slumming it with her boys, but she also likes beds that don’t have sheets with stains she can’t decipher on. She’d spent the past 12 hours biting her lip to stop from muttering something about how ‘Tripadvisor is our friend, not our enemy,’ to anyone who would listen, mainly because she knew that John B and JJ would say something about how much of a Kook she was being and she didn’t want to give them the satisfaction.

It had not been a good start. She was tired and hungry and had decided, upon waking from the very few hours of sleep she’d managed to get, that she wanted nothing more than to step into a shower and forget where she was for the foreseeable future - something that was now also out of reach thanks to her idiot so-called best friend.

“Woah!” She stumbles back as she bumps into a 6ft something hard chest. “Kie? You ok?”

Of fucking course it was JJ.  

“Fine.” She growls back, not in the mood to even try and be nice, “But just so you know I will no longer be speaking to John B for the foreseeable future.”

The blonde boy in front of her doesn’t even try to hide the grin that begins to take over his face, eyebrows raising as his eyes flicker over her, before glancing at the shut door over her shoulder which leads to the one (one!) shower in the whole place. 

“Is he spending hours washing his luscious locks again?”

“JJ.” She shuts her eyes and summons the one single scrap of patience she has left. “Fucking don’t.”

“You know Kie, sometimes it’s like you want to be annoyed with us.”

She knows committing murder is a sin, really she does, so instead settles for rolling her eyes and making to push past him in the hope that she could maybe have a twenty minute nap in the Twinkie before it’s needed again. She makes it almost all the way past him before she feels JJ’s hand grab her arm. 

“Don’t touch me.” She grounds out and then stops, immediately shaken out of her mood when his hand drops like he’s touched fire. “Shit JJ, sorry. I didn’t mean… look, I didn’t sleep well last night and I’m hungry and I just wanted a shower to wash my hair so I can actually salvage this wreck of a day and I just,” she pauses, “I’m sorry. I know you would never hurt me - you didn’t hurt me, I don’t even know why I reacted like that.”

She waits for him to meet her gaze rather than it being on an empty spot just past her right ear.

“I know.” His arm reaches up and he rubs the back of his neck, clearly uncomfortable (and really, she could kick herself for even putting him in this situation and then maybe also kick John B because it’s kind of his fault too). “Listen, how about we get out of here?”

“What?” She frowns. Her brain, already muddled from lack of sleep, finding it hard to keep up with the change in conversation. 

“I mean, you’re not enjoying this are you?”

“What? No! Of course I am. I’m just... not enjoying this particular hostel at this exact point in time.” She trails off, loathed to point out that she’s been cursing his road trip idea ever since this morning (last night). 

He smiles at her again, her previous outburst pushed aside and forgotten for the time being. “So I have it on good authority that Folly Beach is the place to go to surf around here.” 

“Would that good authority be you, by any chance?”

JJ doesn’t say anything, knowing full well that they’ve all been to Folly Beach before on one of their many trips to see Sarah and John B in Charleston. It wasn’t the best beach ever, but it would do. She sighs but she can already feel her body relaxing at what he’s suggesting. The thought of being on her board, catching some waves and being out of this hell hole is looking more and more appealing to her by the minute. 

“It’s literally been a day and you want to go surfing already?”

“What can I say? It’s in my blood.” He shrugs again. “Look if you don’t want to go, I can always go by myself...”

He holds up the keyring with the keys to the Twinkie and begins to swing them round his index finger, turning as if to head out to the parking lot.

“Wait.” She flings her arm out to stop him in haste, her fingers brushing the back of his t-shirt and the small part of her brain - the part she wishes she would never listen to - once again springs to life at the feeling of his muscles there.

If she’s being perfectly honest, it’s been happening more and more recently lately. She’d caught herself staring at him more than once when he’d been tying surfboards to the roof of the van or fixing her car this past summer. There had also been a handful of times when Sarah had winked at her when she’d walked past them together on the hammock and Kie would blink, suddenly realising how close they were and that they’d been in a world of their own. At first she thought that maybe he might feel whatever this was too but, when she’d asked him to come to Australia with her and (after a few arguments) he’d shut her down, she’d taken that as her definitive no, and that was that.

“Kie?”

“Huh?” She glances down and, realising her arm is still outstretched, drops it immediately. Her face flushing as she realises she’d completely zoned out. “Right, yeah. I’ll meet you out front, just need to go put my bikini on.”

“Did you bring that little black one?”

“What?” She completely misses his shit-eating grin before it’s too late and groans, turning round and making a beeline for the girl’s dorm. “Fuck off JJ. I’ll see you at the van.”

“Wear the black one!” He calls as the door swings shut behind her and she begins to dig through her bag. She tells herself it’s purely coincidence that she finds the black bikini first and decides to put it on. If she enjoys the way JJ’s eyes rake over her briefly when he spots the straps under her t-shirt as she makes her way over to Twinkie then that’s no one’s business but her own. 

---

An hour and a half later her head feels clearer and she’s actually enjoying herself. They’d wolfed down a breakfast burrito from some café near the beach and then spent the rest of the morning in almost perfect silence, apart from shouting to let the other know which wave they were taking. If she didn’t know how to get JJ out of his head as well as he knew how to get her out of hers, she’d find it annoying.

“Hey, thanks.” She says, as he swims up beside her and sits on his board. She tries in vain to ignore the water droplets that trickle down his abs as he pushes his hair out of his eyes. 

Friends Kie, just friends.

He smirks, “No worries Kie. I figured ditching our friends was a much better scenario than me having to find somewhere to bury some dead bodies... though I think if you killed someone Pope would actually be ok with that.”

“You joke but I was this close to actually breaking the shower door down and committing murder. Also, I’d just like to add that Sarah snores like an absolute trucker. I honestly don’t know how John B puts up with it.”

He bursts out laughing and she shrugs around her smile.

“Seriously though J, thank you. This -” she indicates to the ocean around her, “- was exactly what I needed.”

His face softens in a way she very rarely gets to see as he too shrugs, “You’d do the same for me.”

She smiles, closing her eyes and letting the sounds of the sea wash over her for a moment.

“So, last wave before we head back to the others?” Reopening her eyes to meet his, she breaks the comfortable silence, “I imagine Sarah has just about busted my phone with calls and texts by now asking if we both got kidnapped.”

He nods as she lies back down on her board ready to paddle further out, “Next one’s mine!”

She paddles harder to drown out JJ’s protests in reply. 

---

It’s late afternoon when they finally make it back into town to meet the others. She pushes open the door of the diner, JJ trailing in behind her, as the bell rings to signal their arrival. 

“Where the fuck have you guys been? It’s been an entire day and we’ve not seen you!”

She’s not sure whether to be reassured or worried by Pope’s outburst. She exchanges a quick look with JJ before he’s wrapping his arm around the other boy’s neck in a half hug and dragging him over to where Sarah and John B are sat in a booth.

“Calm down man, we just went for a bit of a day trip to see the sea.”

“You literally see the sea every day of your lives back home.”

Kiara laughs outright at the look JJ sends John B.

“Thank you for that observation John B. I just needed to surf to work out the kinks from driving you know? I literally told you I was taking the keys for the van and Kie offered to come with me.”

She smiles and shrugs at Sarah’s questioning glance, sliding into the booth beside her as JJ settles in opposite next to Pope and John B.

“Did you guys have a good day? Sorry for the minimal texts back.”

“Don’t worry about it. John B did actually remember about you having the keys midway through taking everything out his backpack to search for them and I figured you’d gone with. We ended up doing a bit of shopping –“

She laughs, cutting the other girl off, “It’s been one day Sarah!”

“I know but they have some super cute shops here and I wanted to see how far they were from our new apartment. We didn’t just go shopping though; we walked through the French quarter and took a horse and cart ride -“

“- because we’re fucking rich now and we can do shit like that.”

She rolls her eyes at John B’s interjection, whilst simultaneously flicking JJ’s hat off his head after he makes a sound not unlike a snort. 

“What the fuck, Kie?”

She smiles sweetly at him before turning back to Sarah who’s now glancing between them with what looks like utter glee stretched across her face. 

“So, a good time then?”

“Yeah,” the blonde girl continues, “did you—”

She’s interrupted once again, this time by Pope. 

(Kie’s not sure if the hand she lays on Sarah’s arm is to comfort her or to stop her from launching out of her seat and attacking someone. Sometimes she forgets that Sarah grew up in a way that didn’t involve all four of the Pogues battling to speak at the same time and how frustrating it can be.) 

“I didn’t have a good time! I basically had to third wheel these two on a date for the entire day because you two ditched me! You all owe me big time. Tomorrow we are definitely checking out a couple of places that I want to see, no arguments.” He adds the last part on quickly when he sees JJ begin to open his mouth. 

“Seems fair.” Kie says, deciding to keep the peace for once as she spots their waitress coming over to take their order. “I was also thinking whilst we’re here that we could see where John B and Sarah are moving to this year. Bigger apartment right guys?”

“Yeah, much bigger.” The couple share a fond look across the table which causes her to look away and find JJ looking straight at her instead. She raises her eyebrows in question but he just shakes his head in reply. 

“So tomorrow are we doing the apartment first and then the museums because there’s a couple of art galleries I’d quite like to look at too…”

There’s a series of groans from around the table. 

“What?”

“Pope, man, I swear...”

She rolls her eyes as they start their bickering, but she thinks that actually this trip is starting to look up.

---

The next morning she follows Sarah down from their dorm to meet the boys in the parking lot.

“Good night?” JJ corners her as they begin walking into town, swapping places with Sarah next to John B, whilst Pope heads up the group, his phone out ready to Google anything they may find. 

“Yeah,” She says, smiling, “I swapped beds with one of the girls who left last night and asked for new bedding at reception. The guy there said he was surprised one of us hadn’t asked sooner, apparently there are usually a lot of complaints.”

JJ snorts, “I wonder why. I mean I know I grew up in an absolute shit stain of a house but I think there were actual shit stains in that hostel.”

“JJ.” She still hates it when he brings up anything to do with his Dad. He’s getting better at opening up to them - to her - and yet her heart still jumps into her throat when he mentions something like that so casually. Unsure what to say she reaches down and grabs his hand, squeezing slightly. He stops and turns to look at her.

“Kie…”

“-and on our right…” They jolt apart as Pope loudly mentions something about the colonial house they’ve just passed, both of them dropping their hands at the same time and walking faster to catch up with their friends.

They spend the rest of the morning checking out Sarah and John B’s new apartment. She gets slightly over excited at things to come when Sarah shows her the spare room and whispers loudly that “really this room is for you when you come over, the boys can just stay out on the couch,” which in turn causes JJ to wince dramatically and proclaim “I thought we were friends Sarah,” whilst Pope argues that really it would make more sense for him and JJ to have the spare room being as there was two of them and only one of her. Sarah, much to Kie’s amusement, will not be swayed.  

They find a decent sandwich shop for lunch and are then taken to an art gallery by Pope, who claims that actually he’s reigning himself in and could have put them through worse. Sarah, who announces that she’s never been here before, uses Pope as her own personal tour guide, asking questions and responding to the fountain of knowledge that pours from his mouth with information of her own. JJ and John B amuse themselves by either giggling at the artwork or pretending they’re art critics (Pope only has to tell them to shut up twice which, really, is a miracle in itself). At one point, as Kie passes them and overhears John B critiquing a sculpture, she rolls her eyes so hard she thinks they might stay in her head, but for the most part she enjoys looking at everything by herself and getting lost in her own little world.

That evening Sarah takes them to her favourite restaurant in town where the staff, to everyone else’s amusement, all know her and John B by name. The boys look smart in their jeans and have actually buttoned up their shirts for once. Kie thanks her lucky stars that she actually packed the one summer dress she owns after she sees the pink monstrosity Sarah wants her to put on. The blonde mutters something like ‘at least I tried’ under her breath whilst the rest of them moan about their outfits on the walk there, but all of them shut up immediately when they step inside. 

The entrance way is large and adorned in shades of red and gold with a plush carpet and velvet curtains hiding the dining part of the restaurant from view.

”I think you could fit your whole apartment in here.” Pope claims, mouth almost hanging open as he glances around. All Kie can do is nod in agreement - the boys may think she grew up a Kook but the Carrera’s never went anywhere as fancy as this. 

“Holy shit, I keep forgetting that I fit in at these places now that I’m stinking rich.” She hears JJ mutter, almost to himself, as the maitre d’ appears and tells them to follow him to their table. She briefly clasps his hand in reply but is then distracted by the large chandeliers hanging from the ceiling above their heads. She swallows and takes a brief second to remember exactly how they all got here and tells herself to appreciate the experience. 

She’s brought back to reality as they reach where they’re to be sitting for the night, her chair being pulled out in front of her by one of the waiters. She thanks him before sliding into it and sitting down next to JJ with Sarah and John B opposite and Pope at the head of the table. 

“Remember, we’ll always be Pogues, man.” John B says as he notices the looks on the other two boy’s faces, reaching across to complete their handshake with her, then JJ and then Pope (they’d tried to teach Sarah one summer but she’d failed to grasp the whole thing and had declared that she was absolutely fine with hugging them all instead).

“Pogues who can afford fancy shit like Swordfish.” Kie laughs as she opens her menu and reads the first thing that pops out at her before saying, “Sarah, what’s good here?”

They end up ordering plates for each of them to try; Bruschetta, Salmon, Steak and even the Swordfish, because John B says he’s never tried it before. She adds on a vegetable risotto for her at the last minute which, upon her first mouthful, claims that it may be the best thing she’s ever tasted (she makes the others swear not to tell her Dad).

She does see the other diners looking over at their rag tag group more than once out the corner of her eye, obviously questioning who they are and the fact that they’re in this particular restaurant in the first place but every time she has that thought, Pope distracts her with a gross fact about something they’re eating or John B says something that makes her laugh so hard, she ends up crying. By then, she’s had three glasses of wine (which ok, she’s not normally a big wine drinker but the expensive stuff is actually quite good), the food is exceptionally delicious and she’s with her best friends so she really couldn’t give a shit what anyone else thinks. 

The whole meal costs them nearly $500 but she figures it was worth it. 

---

“I need to Kie, please, it’s been like a whole morning and no one else will come with me.”

She’d rolled herself out of bed at the crack of dawn due to the banging on the dormitory door and had opened it to find JJ, wide awake and on high alert, twirling his rings around his fingers and dressed in board shorts and a sweatshirt which, if the stitching on the sleeve was anything to go by, had actually been John B’s in another life.

“Because they’re sensible JJ. It’s early, go back to bed. You need to get used to not being near water. What are you going to do when we’re inland and there’s no waves?”

He shrugs, leaning against the open door frame, “Smoke weed instead, I guess.”

She rolls her eyes, “Right, of course, how silly of me.” Then resists the urge to give in (or possibly kiss him) when he pouts at her.

“Kie—”

“No.”

“Kieeeeee…”

She closes her eyes briefly and has to physically remind herself to reopen them again. She thinks that if JJ doesn’t go away within the next ten minutes then she’ll probably fall asleep standing up. 

“Kie. Please. I’ll owe you one. Like seriously, I’ll braid your hair for like the next month or, I dunno, pay for your food for the next two weeks or…”

“You don’t know how to braid my hair, JJ.” She cuts him off as he opens his mouth to reply, moving into the corridor as a loud snore comes from behind her, “Ok, you don’t know how to braid my hair well.” She pauses, “How about this? We all go back to bed for the next hour and then we all go surfing? Can we agree on that as a compromise?”

It doesn’t feel like a compromise, she notes, it feels like he’s won actually but she’s too tired to think up anything else on the spot. He pouts again slightly, her stomach somersaulting at either the look on his face or possibly at how much wine she drank the night before, but he nods his head in resignation.

“I guess that’ll do.” He sighs dramatically, leaning his head back and asks his next question to the ceiling, “But how will I convince John B and Pope?”

“I don’t know JJ, just promise them food or something.”

”Thanks Kie!” He smiles and flings his arms around her briefly. Before she’s even realised what’s happened, he’s running downstairs to the boys’ floor with “You’re the best, Kie!” echoing down the stairwell.

She groans, heading back inside to her own bed and spending the next half an hour trying to go back to sleep in vain. Upon admitting defeat, she decides that if she’s up then Sarah may as well be too. To her credit, the blonde is actually quite happy to be awake (once she’s calmed down and realised that it’s not an emergency) and agrees that actually it’ll be nice to do something altogether. The two of them descend on the boy’s dorm another half hour later, finding all three of the others packed, and ready and waiting to go. 

They spend their last full day in South Carolina at Folly Beach once again before heading back out onto the open road, pulling over and stopping in Knoxville a few hours later so that all of them can get a good night’s sleep and wash the saltwater out of their hair.

(Kie briefly wonders if this means that they’re all adults now as there would have been a time when they would have suggested just driving through the night.)

She does however, casually suggest a hostel near to what looks like a row of shops and restaurants after a quick search on TripAdvisor out loud and, once they’ve pulled up and gone inside, she’s nominated as their Chief Accommodation Officer by Sarah who says, with only  a slight defeatist look on her face, that “this one is way better than the one Pope and I picked” - something which probably shouldn’t make her feel as relieved as it actually does. 

JJ pulls her aside as she makes her way into the mixed dorm they’d booked for the 5 of them, eyes bright and looking like he knows her better than she knows herself.

“So, Chief Accommodation Officer, huh?” He smiles at the brief shrug she offers him in reply before adding, “Charleston wasn’t that bad was it, Kie?”

She shakes her head, figuring that she really should be used to the less glamorous side of travelling by now.

“No, mostly in thanks to you, J.” She slings her backpack onto the spare bunk bed on top of his, “I was definitely ready to call it a day and go home that first morning.”

“Well John B washing his hair can do that to a person.” She laughs as he continues, brushing her shoulder with his as she hoists herself on the ladder. “Glad you stayed though.”

“Yeah,” she smiles down at him, “me too.” 

They agree to stay in Knoxville for a couple of days over dinner at the local diner (Pope declares that the fish tacos are a lowly second to the ones that Kie makes for them back home so she figures all is finally forgiven for ditching him on day one); there’s a couple of outdoor parks to check out and they all agree on the Museum of Natural History, once John B and JJ realise they have animals as the exhibits. She smiles secretly at both Sarah and Pope who also don’t bother to say anything about the fact that they’re stuffed until they actually step foot into the place, before they head on to Nashville.

She’s clambering into the Twinkie one morning and realises that they’ve been away for an entire week, and that she’s excited to see what’s next. 

“So, partner, what playlist have you prepared for us this time?”

JJ’s back in the driving seat and so she’s back on navigation and music duty. She grins over at him before announcing, “Next stop is Nashville, right?”

She watches as he swallows hard, “I’m not sure I like that look on your face.”

Her grin widens as she presses play and the familiar tones of Dolly Parton fill the air, “Well, it’s the home of country music and so that’s what we’ve got for the next few hours.”

She laughs as JJ groans loudly, signalling onto the highway, the sounds of Sarah and Pope singing along come from the back seat whilst John B joins in with, what she presumes, is supposed to be a guitar impression. 

“I can’t promise I won’t kill anyone during these next couple of hours, Kie but I’ll try.”

She places one hand on her heart and one hand on his arm, exclaiming “my hero!” dramatically before beginning to join in with the words to Jolene. She sees JJ smile and turn back to face the road out the corner of her eye.

Just less than four hours, two and a half pitstops, two driver swaps and a large amount of chips later, they drive past the Nashville sign. Kie notes that, at this point, they’re all singing along.

Chapter Text

Halfway to Nashville, after a particularly rushed pit stop, Kie had looked up from her phone and suggested that they stay in a Best Western hotel. JJ had snorted and smirked over at her in response.

“You are such a kook.”

He doesn’t miss the slightly offended look on her face which creates a weird feeling in his chest, “I am not.”

He changes his mind about hotels as soon as he pulls into the parking lot and sees that it has a pool.

“I take it all back,” he declares loudly, pulling into a space to park and then throwing the door open to stretch his legs, “Kiara Carrera, you are the love of my life. This place has got water attached and that’s all I need.”

“What are you, a mermaid or something?” She mutters and he thinks she may look slightly flustered but can’t imagine why. They grab their bags from the back then noisily stroll in through the automatic doors and up to the reception desk, where Kie checks if they have any rooms available and John B smacks his hands twice as he tries to steal a pen.

“JJ.” He hisses, “Stop.”

“It’s a souvenir.” He hisses back, not missing Sarah rolling her eyes at the two of them, “This hotel is probably the nicest place I’ve ever stayed. They’ve probably got two million of these things in this one hotel alone.”

“Actually,” the dark haired girl behind the desk captures his attention, “I think we probably have two million alone just in the box under here. How many do you want?”

JJ grins at her and asks for five, just because he can.

“Thanks,” he leans over the desk to get a better view of the girl’s name tag, “Maria of Best Western Nashville. I will forever be in your debt.”

He can almost hear Pope rolling his eyes from next to him but he can see John B grinning so he knows his charms are working. Kie clears her throat loudly and Maria’s attention snaps back to her for a moment.

“Sorry to interrupt,” she begins and he looks between the two women, noticing that they both have the same curly hair, “but can we have the keys to our rooms now?”

“Sure.” Maria answers her but is back to looking and smiling directly at him, he hears Kie mutter something about being rude under her breath, which makes his grin widen (his money’s always on Kie). “Rooms 246, 247 and 248. Two doubles and a twin. You just need to take the elevator up to the second floor and they’re on the right hand side. Breakfast is served every morning from 7.30am in the room down the hall here.”

She hands the keys to him, still smiling.

“Thanks Maria.” He passes the keys immediately to Kie (smiling slightly at that fact) before aiming a wink back at the receptionist and following the others down the carpeted corridor. 

The keys are handed out as they’re standing in the elevator up to the 2nd floor. “John B and Sarah, one room for you. Pope, twin room for you and JJ and, the golden ticket, a room all to myself.”

He can’t contain his smile at the delighted look on her face. After Charleston and the hostel there, and what she’d said about Sarah’s snoring, he thinks that Kie probably deserves that room the most out of all of them. 

The elevator finally creaks to a halt and they all jostle their way out and down yet another carpeted corridor towards their rooms.

“Why do all hotel corridors look the same?” He says as Pope manages to finally get the card into the slot to open the door and they both walk into the biggest bedroom JJ has seen in his life.

“Hell if I know,” his friend replies, “discount on carpets maybe?”

“Figures.” He throws his backpack onto the bed nearest the door to claim it - something to do with childhood trauma and the need to escape apparently, Pope had tried to explain to him once - before flinging the door open to the balcony.

“Yes!” He’s half tempted to fist bump the air when he notices that the pool is directly in front of him, “Hey Pope, do you think if I jumped off this railing I could land in the pool?”

“No.”

“You didn’t even look.”

“The answer’s still no, JJ.”

He sighs, why is he even surprised, and goes back into the room as Pope reappears from the door with John B in tow.

“The girls are deciding where they want to eat or some shit. I said I’d come get you guys.”

“Do you think if I jumped off the railing from mine and Pope’s balcony, I could land in the pool?”

John B lights up at the suggestion but Pope cuts in before he can answer, “Don’t encourage him, I don’t want to end up in Accident and Emergency. Why don’t we just go swimming like normal people?”

JJ laughs and throws his arms around them both, all three jostling each other as they head back out to meet the girls and go for dinner, “But Popey, where’s the fun in that?”

---

At 8am the next morning, after the smell rising up from the ground floor becomes too much for him to bear, he wakes Pope up from the land of the dead (I mean really, he thinks, his friend should get an award for sleeping as well as all the science stuff) and sends the group chat a message saying that it’s time for breakfast.

They arrive downstairs to find John B ready and waiting, shirt hanging open and customary bandana around his neck.

“Glad you texted, I couldn’t wait any longer,” he greets them both with their customary handshake, “Sarah made me get up and have a shower an hour ago so she could carry on sleeping. That smell—”

“—is the exact reason I dragged Pope out of bed.” JJ says, his eyes lighting up as he grabs a plate and surveys the amount of food in front of him. “Fuck, I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much food.”

There’s a slight pause before all 3 of them move at once and begin piling their plates.

“This is all included, right?” JJ manages to ground out around a mouthful of bacon, sitting down at a table in the centre of the room and ignoring the stares from the other diners. “I mean, this is what Kie said last night so…”

“Yup.” Pope replies through what sounds like a moan, sitting opposite with John B, “Holy shit, these eggs are better than my Mom’s.” There’s another pause where the only sounds are forks scraping plates and chewing. “No one tell her that.” He adds on as an afterthought, pointing his finger at JJ, who shakes his head in return.

“Yeah hard pass, I’d like to see my 22nd birthday. Mama Heyward would never let me live if I even so much as suggested her eggs were second best.”

John B swallows then looks around a little mournfully, “I could get used to this B&B kook shit.” JJ can’t help but agree.

By the time Kiara and Sarah appear, Pope and JJ are on their third plate and John B on his fourth.

“Let me guess,” Sarah says, glancing around the table as her and Kie sit down on either side of JJ, their own plates in hand. “third helping?”

He swallows then nods, “JB’s on four.”

“Of course he is.” She rolls her eyes but the rest of her face looks fond.

“Is that all your having?” He can’t help but add as he notices the smaller amount of food on both the girls’ plates. “This is free, right? Like, why not have everything?”

“Because JJ,” Sarah says, “just because it’s there doesn’t mean you have to eat it all. Also, it’s not free exactly, it’s included in the room price.”

“Right....” he trails off, “so basically it’s free.” This time the eye roll is directed at him but he also sees the smile that twists her lips upwards as she turns to her own food so he doesn’t take it to heart.

“What’s the plan for today?” Pope asks, pushing his now clean plate away from him and leaning back in his chair, “Seeing the sights or...?”

Kie pulls up a page on Google to show them, “There’s a bus that takes us around the city which stops just around the block. I thought that might be a good option to begin with?”

“Or,” JJ leans over and tries to click on the link below before Kie slaps his hand away, “we could take the party bus?”

His reply is a frown from Sarah, a shake of the head from Pope, a shrug from John B and a pat on the shoulder from Kie.

“I’ll take that as a no then?”

“Maybe another day?” Kie adds on, “I mean, once we know the place a bit better we could go check out some bars and things?” There are nods from around the rest of the table in agreement.

“Thanks Kie.” She offers him a smile in return before turning back to the impromptu planning meeting, her hand still resting on his shoulder.

---

They opt to spend the rest of the morning taking a tour of the city on the Best of Nashville bus like Kie had suggested. Pope and Kiara get far too enthused by all the sights, taking pictures of literally everything and listening intently to the commentary the bus provides. Sarah and John B opt to take a seat at the back, the reason for which JJ does not wish to find out about so he finds a seat to himself, pulls his cap down over his eyes, and decides to take a nap.

He’s woken up an hour later with Kie gently, but urgently, saying his name next to him (all of them had agreed, during one very painful, teeth on edge conversation for JJ, that they would try and wake him up without touching him after they’d found out about his Dad and put that, plus his near constant flinching when he was half asleep, together. John B, having gotten used to JJ being around at all times, was the only one who had forgotten since and had tried to wake him with a shake to the shoulder one morning. JJ, in response, had nearly punched him in the jaw which, if he thinks about it, actually proves that it was probably a good idea after all).

“Huh? What?” Her eyes are flashing with what looks like delight as JJ frowns, blinking the sleep from his eyes and tries to groggily make sense of his surroundings.

“C’mon sleepy head, we’re gonna grab some lunch and then the next stop is the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum.”

At the word museum he groans but sits up, taking his hat off and running his hand through his hair before placing it down backwards on his head. He stands up and shakes out his arms and legs, before following Kie and Pope off the bus as it rolls to a stop, John B and Sarah bringing up the rear. They each grab a burrito from one of the ridiculously expensive stands located near the entrance (Kie mutters something about Capitalism and taking money off unsuspecting tourists but quietly enough that the vendor doesn’t hear, he responds by loudly saying that it’s the best burrito he’s ever had in his life) and then, once they’ve all finished eating, head inside.

The rest of the afternoon is taken up with the museum which, if he’s honest, he actually quite enjoys. He lets the others go on ahead, giving him chance to stop every once in a while to read the exhibits at his own speed, and look at all the memorabilia. He has no clue who most of the people are but he likes the look of the guitars and the music they have playing over the speakers in the background isn’t actually all that bad. He’s in the last room watching a video of Elvis performing sometime in the 1960s when he see Kie heading towards him in his peripheral vision.

“Cool, huh?”

“Yeah.” He nods then, because he’s still looking at the display, adds, “My mom loved him. I have these weird, fuzzy memories from before she dipped of her dancing round the kitchen to his songs. Sometimes I’m with her and sometimes even my dad. I guess it wasn’t all bad...” He shrugs as he trails off.

“JJ...” Her hand clasps his and squeezes once before letting go in a gesture that has become very familiar to him, “You know we could actually go to Graceland? See where the King lived?”

He turns fully to look at her then, eyebrows raised, “Seriously? You’re not fucking with me?”

She shrugs, “I mean I don’t see why not. I know I’d be happy to go even if the others don’t fancy it.”

“Don’t fancy what?” John B cuts in, Sarah and Pope just behind him, “Oh cool, Elvis.”

“What about Memphis for the next stop?” Kie asks the group as JJ tries (and fails) not to get his hopes up too much, “We kinda fancy a tour of Graceland too?”

“Sure.” Sarah agrees, Pope and John B nodding beside her, “Sounds like fun.”

And that’s that, they’re going to Graceland.

JJ grins over at Kie, who grins back, and he promises himself he’s going to read up on Elvis (or he’ll get one of the others to and then he’ll just memorise things) before he gets there so he can actually sprout some knowledge for once.

“Hey so, there’s this diner near here that I kinda fancy - Hattie B’s?” Pope says, “Apparently it’s kinda famous round here?”

“I saw that too.” JB shrugs, “I’m good with whatever.”

“I swear if it’s not about surfing, it’s about food.” Sarah says, but her stomach grumbling completely disregards the last sentence. “Yes alright, final stop of the day, let’s go.”

Four hours later, they make it back to the hotel after what, JJ thinks, may be the best chicken he’s ever eaten.

“This is why I suggested this trip, all the good food!” He exclaims as he throws himself down face first onto the bed, regretting his decision immediately due to his full stomach. The sound of springs from next to him as he turns around onto his back suggests that Pope has done the exact same thing.

“Hey JJ,” He turns his head a fraction to the left so he can see Pope in the dim light of the room, “you and Kie, you know we all wouldn’t have a problem with it right?”

“We’re just friends man,” He manages to prop his head up to answer, “Nothing to have a problem with to begin with.”

JJ feels like he’s lying although he’s not sure why.

”Ok, if you say so. Night JJ.”

”Night Pope.”

---

The next day in Nashville begins much the same, although each of them only manage two plates of breakfast thanks to the meal from the night before. They all agree to head to the Grand Ole Opry for a tour and Sarah miraculously manages to book them all $5 daytime concert tickets. JJ thought he was beginning to enjoy country music but after two days of it, he’s now not so sure.

“Remind me again why we didn’t go to Florida?” John B asks through gritted teeth as the band head off stage which Kie and Sarah take as their queue to head off and get snacks, “I would much rather be at, I dunno, Disneyland or something right now rather than listening to this shit.”

JJ nods in agreement, “I honestly don’t think I even know our friends anymore JB. My whole life has been a lie.”

“Why are you both so dramatic?” Pope shakes his head at the two of them. “Are we still swimming tonight or what?”

JJ perks up immediately. So much so that, by the time the girls have reappeared with a large bag of popcorn to share, all three of them have already come up with a half decent plan for dunking the girls in the pool that evening. He manages to sit through the rest of the concert without complaining (although Kie puts her hand on his knee three times to stop it from bouncing and Sarah catches him, her eyebrows raised, when he tries to put popcorn down the back of JB’s shirt). He begrudgingly wanders around - and partly enjoys himself at - the Johnny Cash museum but then finally, finally, they’re all back at the hotel.

John B and Sarah disappear to their room whilst Pope and JJ, in some sort of unspoken competition, hurry to be the first one changed and back down by the water. Kie’s the next one to appear, towel in hand and causing his mouth to go dry when he realises she’s once again chosen to wear the black bikini. He’s busy trying to think along the lines of Grandmothers and walking in on Heyward naked when Pope breaks his train of thought by muttering something along the lines of, “Do we do it now or…?” 

A squeal, which sounds remarkably like a Cameron, gives them their answer. 

“Sarah? Are you—?”

Kie doesn’t get to finish her question as JJ sneaks up behind her, grabs her around the middle and throws her into the pool. John B appears around the corner a second later, repeating the process with Sarah. Pope, who’s now doubled over laughing, manages to get it all caught on camera. 

It’s only when both girls resurface does JJ realise that they may have made an error. 

“Erm, guys… Sarah… Kie… look we didn’t, we didn’t mean any harm…”

JJ would laugh at Pope’s pleas if he wasn’t laser focused on Kiara’s face as she swims over to the side of the pool and pushes herself up and out. 

Grandmas and Heyward, JJ. Grandmas and Heyward.

”You.” She grounds out (though he notices her eyes are sparkling with what looks like joy so he figures she can’t be too mad), “Are. So. Dead.”

She’s standing right in front of him and he realises his mistake at taking his eyes off of her as soon as he hears the shriek and then a splash from the other side of the pool, John B’s head still underwater when Sarah jumps back in after him. Kie takes that as her moment and pushes him straight in sideways, watching her do the same to Pope a moment later when he resurfaces before she follows them all in. 

“Well I would call our plan a success!” John B calls out and JJ wants to laugh at the death glare Sarah sends his way.  

“Oh, you have no idea the punishment you’re in for tonight, John B.”

“Sarah, please, no sex talk in the pool.” He shares a look with Kie as if to say really? when both John B and Sarah blush bright red at his words. “Game of shoulder wars anyone?”

An hour and a half (and many, many wins for him and Kie because the other three all seem to suck at that game) later, JJ has another idea. He pushes himself out the pool and rustles through the pile of belongings they’d bought from their rooms with them, finding his stash of weed and holding it up. Kie grins over at him, already out the pool, and wanders over. His eyes drift down of their own accord for a second before he remembers who she is and where they are and snap back to her face.

“You can’t just smoke weed here!” Sarah hisses and points to the no smoking sign from where she clings to the side of the pool. “I knew this was a bad idea. We’re never staying at a hotel ever again.”

“But the pool...”

“And the food...” John B and Pope both start protesting at once whilst JJ finishes rolling the joint, flipping his zippo open to light it and handing it to Kie after taking the first smoke. 

“Sarah, it’s fine. There’s no one around.” At the look on Sarah’s face, Kie backtracks slightly, “Ok, how about we go off grid for a bit and opt for Airbnb’s instead? Or go back to hostels?”

JJ shrugs, “I’m good with whatever, Kie.”

“Happy with anything.”

“As long as I’ve got a bed and a roof over my head.”

Sarah looks slightly less displeased once they’ve all voiced their opinions. John B throws his arm around her shoulders as she comes over to where they’re all gathered around one of the sun loungers, which makes her relax even further.

“Fine.” She says, “Pass it here.” 

Once they’ve all dried off, finished smoking and taken an extremely long time to find the right corridor (“Fucking hotel carpets man, they all look the same.”) they all cram into the elevator once again to head up to their rooms.

JJ doesn’t miss the look Kie and Sarah give each other as they reach their floor but decides it’s too late and he’s just about high enough not to care.

---

“I’ve got a surprise.” Kiara announces when she arrives at breakfast the next morning. JJ narrows his eyes - that look definitely meant something then - and glances between both her and Sarah.

“I fucking knew it. Is this a trick? Like you say it’s a surprise but actually it’s a bad one to get back at us for last night?”

Kie shakes her head at him, “No, it’s a good surprise, I promise.” She shares a grin with Sarah, which does nothing to ease his suspicions, but he gets in the van anyway.

“This better be worth it.” He mutters as he slams the door behind him, boys in the back and girls in the front.

Approximately 15 minutes later Sarah tells Kie to indicate off the highway, past a sign that reads Adventureworks Zipline Forest.

“Are you serious right now?” He leans his head between the two front seats and glances from left to right, “You better not be fucking with me.”

John B and Pope look equally as delighted and all three of them fall out of the Twinkie in haste as soon as Kie puts it in park.

“I thought maybe we all needed something that would use up some of our energy.” Sarah adds as they all traipse over to get checked in and harnessed up.

JJ opts to go first and soon he’s attached to the zip line and all he can see for miles is green, flying through the tree tops on the outskirts of Nashville. This is what he came for, he thinks, whooping out loud and hearing four echoes from behind him.

“Thanks Kie.” He says, as they’re being transferred from one line to the other halfway through the day.

She shrugs, “Me and Sarah just thought that you and John B and to a certain extent, Pope, would maybe enjoy something other than a museum for once and, being as there’s no surfing around here, I figured this would be a good choice.”

He can’t help himself as he winks at her, “I do know of another way to burn off excess energy, if you fancy it…”

She groans and shoves him off the platform in retaliation. He’s halfway along the next zip line but still hears her call from behind him, “Only in your dreams JJ!”

As they’re walking back to the Twinkie that evening, tired but happy, JJ announces that this was the second best day of the trip so far.

“What was the first?” Sarah questions.

“Surfing.” But he doesn’t specify which surfing trip and no one thinks to ask.

---

“I’ve booked us all on a walking tour.” John B announces when they all sit down for lunch the next day, “But it’s also a bar crawl.”

“Fuck yes.” JJ raises his arm up over the table for a high five. “When do we go?”

They meet the rest of the tour group outside a café later that afternoon. JJ immediately decides he likes their guide who’s dressed head to toe in Jack Daniels merchandise and who, he thinks, is already halfway to drunk if the slight slurring and not being able to walk in a straight line is anything to go by.

“Hey dude,” He asks as soon as the floor opens up for questions, “How many of these tours have you done so far today? And what’s with the all the merch?” He indicates the outfit.

“Two.” Dave (at least JJ thinks his name is Dave, John B swore he had said James) says. “And we’re in Tennessee, it’s JD country. Seems wrong to do a bar crawl tour without it.”

“So you mean to tell me,” JJ mutters darkly as they head into the next bar, “we should have been drinking Jack Daniels the entire time we’ve been here?” 

“It does literally say Tennessee on the bottle.” 

“I don’t read the fucking bottle Kie,” he deadpans, “I’m more concerned with the liquid inside and how it tastes.”

“Really, JJ? You should appreciate your whiskey.”

“Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. I do appreciate my whiskey.” He grabs one of the glasses that have been set up for them and downs it in one. “I just appreciate it the most when it’s in my mouth.”

“That’s what she said.” John B adds and, as Pope high fives him, JJ decides that it’s going to be a fun afternoon indeed.

They end up in eight more bars and make friends with a group of Irish tourists who match them drink for drink. (Sarah asks him twice why he’s pouting after he noticed one of them start chatting up Kie, he mutters that he’s not and gets a simple pat on the arm in reply. He wanders away to down two more shots and tries not to wonder what this feeling in his chest may mean). By the end of the night JJ thinks that he may never want to drink Jack Daniels ever again.

---

They all agree at breakfast on the fifth morning that they’ve had enough of Nashville. John B agrees to drive to Memphis with JJ riding shotgun. Twenty minutes into the journey, JJ hears three sets of heavy breathing from the back and turns to confirm that they’re all asleep.

“Looks like it’s just you and me for the next four hours, JB.” He remarks, swivelling back round, “Or I could play Elvis really loudly to wake them all up and force them to take part in this journey.”

John B laughs but doesn’t take his eyes off the road, “Up to you, but I don’t fancy dealing with all three of them being angry at us for waking them up at the same time.”

JJ shudders, “Yeah, good point.”

He turns the volume down slightly on Kiara and Sarah’s Memphis playlist which is basically just various versions of Walking in Memphis mixed in with Elvis songs (most of which he knows the words to - a fact he’s trying really hard not to dwell on), just in case. They spend the next few hours playing an extremely long and detailed game of I-Spy, JJ eventually concedes when he can’t guess John B’s ‘T’ that turns out to be a truck they’d passed at least ten minutes ago that had already turned off the main road.

“You suck at this game.” JJ jumps at Pope’s voice from the back. “We’ve been awake for the past half hour and I’m not sure what’s worse, John B’s use of letters or JJ’s guesses.”

“Definitely John B.” Kie offers, “At least JJ was actually guessing things that began with that letter.”

“Yeah, but I’m fairly certain I’ve not seen a television in any capacity since the hotel room so...”

“Any one of these vehicles could have a TV in their trunk Sarah, so I’m not wrong.”

“You’re not technically right either.” He resists the temptation to turn around and stick his tongue out like a child, choosing instead to tell John B to switch lanes ready for their next turn.

“Did you know we’re going to pass through a Jackson, Tennessee but there’s also a Jackson, Mississippi?”

This time JJ does twist round in his seat to get a better view of his friend. “Pope, where do you learn this shit?”

“It’s called the internet. It’s this new-fangled thing where you can actually learn stuff just by typing something in.” He waves his phone in the air as if to prove to his point.

“Yeah, but that involves reading, you know I can’t read.”

“Bullshit. You can read JJ; I spent the majority of my spare time in middle school making sure you could.”

“Why do you always insist on bringing this up?”

“Because it’s my proudest achievement.”

“Aw, that’s nice Pope. I’m your proudest achievement.”

Pope rolls his eyes, “Yeah, that and the time I convinced John B that fish could walk, they were just too lazy to do so.”

Sarah cackles in delight from the back seat as John B cuts in, “Hey! How was I supposed to know that they didn’t have hidden legs? I was ten!”

“It taught you to do your own homework from then on that was for sure.” Pope mutters.

“I still somehow managed to pass that class though.”

“Not sure how, JB.”

“And you say I’m the stupid one.” JJ cuts in, half in jest.

“You’re not stupid JJ, you just learn differently because you’re dyslexic. That’s the joy of audio books.”

“Potato, tomato.”

Pope sighs, tilting his head back in despair, “That’s not even how the saying goes…”

JJ just grins and turns back round to the front, turning the playlist up in volume now that they’re all awake.

“Ok, so I’ve found where we can stay for the next few nights.” Kie speaks after a few minutes, “The owners have said we can have it for as long as we want as there’s no one else booked in there for a while.”

She reads out the address to JJ who programmes it into Google Maps on his battered phone.

“No peeking!” She looks pretty pleased with herself which JJ admits he finds endearing, “It’s another good surprise though, I promise!”

One hour and another rest stop later, they pull up outside a large, white bungalow which looks newly renovated. JJ gets that prickly feeling when he knows he shouldn’t touch things but can’t help himself anyway. One glance tells him that the others are just as speechless as they all pile out of the van and line up onto the driveway.

”Ho-ly shit.” He manages to ground out, and they’re not even inside yet.

“I just thought we should explore everything available to us and this was, believe it or not, the cheapest option for this area per night…”

He wants to laugh as Kie carries on talking, even though they’ve now got enough money to last them a lifetime, they’re still treating this road trip like they’re dirt poor. Or maybe not, he amends as Kie enters a code into a box by the door, pulling out a set of keys and unlocking the main entrance, because then they wouldn’t be even on this road trip in the first place. They step into a giant hallway with various rooms leading off of it, JJ isn’t sure where to look first.

Sarah breaks the stunned silence, “Kie, this is amazing. I knew there was a reason I made you chief accommodation officer.”

“Yeah, that was definitely the best decision we’ve had on this trip.”

“Excuse you, JJ? Who’s we? It was definitely just me who made that decision.”

“Guys, seriously. There’s an entire fucking lake just sitting out the back of this place.”

JJ literally can’t believe his eyes when he walks through a kitchen-come diner- come sitting room to where Pope is standing next to a wide open back door. There’s a lake at the end of the lawn, complete with a boat and a deck - it’s almost like coming home but a hell of a lot nicer.

“Holy shit, Kie.” He repeats, unable to tear his eyes away from the lake. “How long have you booked this place for again? I never want to leave.”

John B laughs in disbelief, throwing his arm round Sarah who’s face is also lit up with delight, “It’s like a fancier Chateau.”

“Now I’ve seen this, there’s no going back. This is how we could be living—“

Sarah cuts JJ off, “John B, if you want me to continue being your girlfriend, this is the standard I’m now aspiring to.”

“Holy fuck.” John B just about manages to get out, his first words since they’ve arrived, and JJ thinks his best friend might be broken.

They eventually manage to tear themselves away from the view and take a tour of the rest of the house. There’s another smaller sitting room complete with two more couches and a TV, a games room with a pool table larger than any of them have seen before and enough double bedrooms for them all to have one each (John B and Sarah choose to share anyway). There’s also enough bathrooms so that both John B and Kie can wash their hair at the same time in peace. JJ is convinced that he might get lost. The best part is definitely the outside though and, whilst Pope and Kie head to the nearest supermarket to grab food for dinner, the other three throw on an extra sweater and head out onto the deck.

“There’s a heater outside and even a fucking games room with a pool table, I can’t, I mean, I just—” JJ pauses from where he’s perched on the edge of a chair, rolling a joint, to look around, “I think I’m in love… with a house.” He fishes out his zippo from his pocket, lights it and takes a smoke before passing it to John B, who’s wrapped around Sarah in the chair next to him. “You know there’s room for each of you to have your own chair, right?”

“Fuck off JJ. You literally just said you’re in love with a house, I don’t think our sharing the chair is the weirdest thing to happen in the last ten minutes.” There’s a pause as Sarah goes over what she just said, “That was all said with the greatest admiration and respect, of course.”

JJ shrugs as Pope and Kie come into view at last, laden down with plates of food and bottles of beer.

“I won’t argue with that.”

“Who’s in love with a house?” Kie cuts in, placing the beer on the floor before handing a plate of pizza to Sarah and settling down in the deck chair to his right. Pope hands a plate to John B and then one to him before throwing himself down cross legged on the floor. 

“JJ.”

She just shakes her head, “Of course, shoulda guessed.”

“Holy shit,” He finds that’s all he can say this evening and takes another bite of the pizza, “Kie, did you make this? I think you’ve actually outdone yourself with the food.” 

John B winks at him before also shifting his attention to look at the dark haired girl, “Have you ever considered becoming a chef?”

Pope grins, catching on to their usual banter and adding on, “You could take over The Wreck!”

Kie groans in exasperation, “Why do you all insist on having this conversation every time I cook? The answer’s still no.”

“Why? Because you don’t want to or because it would make your parents happy?”

She pauses, beer bottle halfway to her mouth but she won’t meet his gaze as she says, “Just drop it, JJ.”

The only other time he risked asking that question was during the argument when they hadn’t spoken for days afterwards,  and he’s definitely never said it in front of the others before. There’s a slightly uncomfortable silence before it’s broken by Sarah clearing her throat and glancing between them both.

“So... Graceland tomorrow?” She offers him a slightly sad smile that makes him feel like he wants to tear off his own skin, but he just shakes it off and nods.

“Sure. Sounds good.”

And then they’re back to planning the next day’s trip and acting like nothing happened.

---

On Graceland Day, as JJ had christened it, they wake up early and arrive at the mansion for when it opens. He doesn’t think he’s been this excited for something in a very, very long time.

“JJ, calm down!” Sarah grits out in the queue for tickets. “All your bouncing is making me feel ill.”

“Sorry.” He stops for all of thirty seconds before he begins rolling backwards and forwards on the balls of his feet. “Seriously, how long is this going to take?”

John B pulls out his phone and begins to quiz them all on Elvis in response, which helps the time go quicker. To everyone’s surprise, including his own, he scores equal points with Pope.

“How do you know so much about the King?” John B asks, pocketing his phone as they reach the front of the queue.

JJ shrugs, “My mom.”

He’s saved from answering any follow up questions as they buy their tickets and are handed individual audio guides and then they’re standing outside the mansion. JJ can’t quite believe that they’re here and that this is where Elvis actually lived. He pauses for a moment to take it in, just outside the main entrance.

“Hey dude,” John B claps him on the back as he indicates for the others to go ahead with his other hand, “Are you ok?”

He sees Kie glance back towards them both but he offers her a small smile and then turns back to John B.

“Yeah,” he says, snapping his headphones onto his head and turning to head inside, “all good.”

And really he is.

He’s pleased that he’s got the audio guide as it means he can just focus on the voice telling him what’s in front of him and not have to worry about reading quickly or anything else. He follows the tour along with the rest of the crowd; the living room, the dining room, the kitchen, the TV room and then, best of all, the Jungle room.

“Hey,” he realises that it’s Kie waving at him so he takes his headphones off to hear her, noticing also that the others must have gone on ahead, “Are you sure you’re ok?”

“Yeah,” he smiles, “Really, I am. If I couldn’t come here with my Mom, then you guys are definitely second best choice.”

She smiles back, “Do you want a picture of you in here?” He nods but he knows he surprises her when he grabs her hand and pulls her round to take a photo of them both. They move on quickly when Kie spots the no photography sign over his head. 

After lunch, they all try to all squeeze in for a picture in front of the house.

”I knew I should have brought my selfie stick.” Sarah says.

“Please,” Pope mutters darkly, “never ever say the words selfie stick in my presence ever again.”

Before any of them can ask what Pope means, an older woman comes over and asks if they’d like for her to take a photo of all of them. Sarah nods and thanks her, all of them crowding round the small screen to have a look once she hands it back.

“I think that’s the best photo of us anyone has ever taken.” JJ states, “Mainly because we’re all smiling and actually looking at the camera.”

John B at least has the decency to look slightly guilty. “It’s not my fault I’m not good at taking photos.”

“I hate to say it babe, but I actually agree with JJ on this one.”

“Must try harder in future, JB.” Pope adds on, all of them now laughing at the look of outrage forming on their friend’s face.

They carry on with the tour in the grounds, looking in both the Trophy and Racquetball buildings. On impulse, which he will be the first to admit never usually works out well for him, JJ sends the photo of him and Kie in the Jungle room to his Dad when he thinks no one is looking. He then wishes he hadn’t as the two blue ticks show up almost immediately but with no response.

“Hey,” Kie cuts into his thoughts, headphones long since abandoned around his neck, “He might just not know what to say…”

He appreciates the effort, really he does, but they both know she’s lying.

The afternoon picks up however when he decides to ask one of the staff where the toilet is where Elvis died (the kid manages to stutter out half a response before he’s pulled quickly away by both John B and Pope), they all get ice cream and Sarah gets brain freeze and then, to top it off, there’s a guy dressed up at Elvis who’s doing a really bad job of it. For some reason this cheers him up immensely.

By the end of the day he’s decided that his new memories of Elvis, this time with his found family, are much better than the ones he had before.

---

That evening, after they’ve finished their homemade burgers and beers, he boldly suggests skinny dipping in the lake. He’s actually surprised when they all agree.

“You know how you said the road trip was the best idea you’ve ever had?” Kie informs him from where she’s standing next to him, both of them fully naked and a weird kind of tension in the air. “Well, this is definitely the worst.”

(He has to keep reminding himself not to look over at her, although his brain also keeps reminding him that it wouldn’t be the first time he’s seen her with no clothes on. His memory flickers back to that night, not so long ago, when, upon arriving back at the Chateau on the hunt for more alcohol, he had gone in to check what was making so much noise in Big John’s old room and found Kiara in the midst of getting changed. She’d been in a small pair of panties and nothing else and they’d both frozen in shock before she’d screamed at him to get out. They’d not spoken about it afterwards but he was unlikely to ever forget that it had happened.)

Shit, think of something else JJ!

“Ok, everyone ready?” Sarah giggles from somewhere to his right.

“Fuck yeah! On the count of 3?”

Pope starts counting, “1…2…” He feels rather than sees Kie’s hand link with his, so he pulls her with him as he jumps off the dock and into the lake.

“Fucking hell JJ, it was one more number!” She shoves him as they both resurface, but she’s also grinning so he doesn’t take it to heart. He hears more shouting and whooping and then three more splashes to indicate that they’re all now in the water.

“Ah fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”

“It’s fucking freezing!”

“I genuinely think my balls have dropped off, I am childless forever more.”

To be fair it is freezing, he can hear Kie’s teeth clattering together from his left and it’s taking all his willpower to not clamber straight back out and head to the house for a hot shower - but no one ever said the Maybank’s were quitters and he won’t be the first one to leave this lake.

“Ah fuck this.” Kie manages to grind out, “I’m getting out. I think I’ve lost all my toes at the bottom from frostbite.”

“Me too.” Sarah nods semi-robotically, gritting her teeth as she swims over. “You three need to turn around. I know you may have seen girls naked in some form or another over the years but I would still like to preserve some modesty.”

JJ immediately propels himself around, Pope doing the same to his left and John B to his right.

“Well I know I have,” he raises his voice slightly so they can all hear him, “not sure the same can be said for Pope.” His head is dunked under a second later and then all three of them are wrestling in the water.

“Wait!” John B suddenly calls out, causing JJ to stop from where he’s about to put him in a headlock. “Those little...”

JJ watches as John B swims over to the deck and glances around.

“Are you looking for these?” JJ’s attention is diverted to where Kie and Sarah are standing in the entrance to the house, towels now wrapped round themselves and laughing, the boys’ clothes in their hands. They disappear inside a moment later.

“Those fuckers stole our clothes.” JJ has to laugh at how outraged John B sounds. He swims over to the deck before calling out, “Race you to the house!” and then he’s pulling himself up and out the lake and sprinting across the lawn, not checking to see how close the other two are behind him. He makes it to the one spare bathroom first so he counts that as a win.

Half an hour later, showered, clothed and warmed up, he throws himself down on one half of the couch and has only just made himself comfortable when Kie crawls over, lifts his arm up and burrows into his side. He looks down at her, eyebrows raised in amusement, as she too gets comfy.

“What? Don’t look at me like that. You’re like a human radiator JJ, I swear, and right now I can’t get warm which, by the way, is your fault so you owe me one.”

“I’m not sure that’s...” He trails off as she shivers, wrapping his arm around her more tightly and pulling the blanket closer too.

“Thanks.” She smiles up at him from under the cover, at which point he swears his heart skips a beat and all he can think is fuck.

He’s the last one standing by the end of the movie. Pope heads to bed long before the rest of them, claiming that upstairs is a lot warmer. John B and Sarah are next, admitting defeat after Sarah jolts herself awake for the third time in a row. It’s only when the credits are rolling does he realise that Kie’s fallen asleep on his shoulder.

“Kie… Kie?”

“Hmm?” Her eyes flicker open for a moment before closing again. He contemplates how much she would hurt him for carrying her upstairs as he shakes her gently and says her name again.

“Kie? C’mon. The movie’s finished, it’s time to go to bed.”

“But I’m so warm.” She mumbles, snuggling down further into his side.

“Kie.”

She sighs, moving enough so that he can stand and holds out her hands without opening her eyes. He smiles and shakes his head at her, knowing she can’t see, before reaching out and placing one arm under her legs and the other around her back, she buries her face into his neck and clings on as he picks her up. He manages to get them both, plus her blanket, upstairs without injury before lying her down on her bed and making sure she’s settled.

“Night Kie.” He turns to head back to his own room but she calls out to stop him.

“Will you stay with me JJ?” He looks down at her, still half asleep and covered in duvets and blankets, “Please. I was so warm and...” She trails off and he would have thought she’d gone fully back to sleep if she hadn’t patted the side of the bed next to her a moment later. He gives in, crawling over her and sliding down under the covers before throwing his arm around her. They’ve lain like this before but never anywhere but the Chateau and usually if one, or both, of them have had a nightmare.

Somehow this time it feels different.

“Night JJ.” She cuts across his thoughts before they spiral out of control.

“Night Kie.”

---

He wakes up to the sound of rain hitting the window and Kie’s gentle breathing against his neck. He blinks through the bleariness and finds that, at some point in the night, he must have rolled onto his back and Kie must have followed him. She’s lying on her side with his arm around her shoulders, holding her close. Her arm is wrapped around his middle, her face buried in his shoulder, curls everywhere and her legs tangled with his.

He likes it when it’s like this, just the two of them, in the quiet before whatever the day brings. She feels like home, he realises, and he’s still not sure what he’s going to do when she’s miles away from him on the other side of the world. He chooses not to continue with that thought, instead he runs his spare hand over his face, pulls his arm gently out from under her and untangles his legs from hers. She mutters something incomprehensible before rolling over and hugging her pillow instead, he laughs quietly to himself as he slips quietly from the room.

He finds John B alone downstairs, back door thrown open despite the rain that’s pouring down, and coffee ready-made. He pours himself a cup, black and strong, and goes to sit next to his friend in the doorway. There’s nothing but the sound of rain and a hint of birdsong for a few minutes before, “So, you and Kie huh?”

He groans and starts to wish he’d just stayed in bed. “We’ve been through this JB. We’re just friends. She was shivering last night and asked me to stay and keep her warm, you would have done the exact same thing.” 

“You know we wouldn’t have a problem with it though, right?” John B says, sipping his coffee and JJ begins to wonder if he and Pope had been speaking about them behind his back. 

The sound of footsteps on the stairs stops the conversation from continuing any further.

“Morning boys!” Sarah comes to sit between them, cup of coffee also in hand.

“Honestly, how are you so fucking awake in the morning? Do you take a pill or something?” She pinches him lightly on the arm. “Said with the greatest respect of course Sarah, love and respect.’

John B bursts out laughing as JJ parrots one of the phrases she often uses on him back to her.

She shakes her head but matches his grin, “I’m just super happy to be here right now! I mean, look at this view,” she indicates out with her left hand, narrowly missing hitting John B in the head, “I’m on a really great road trip with my boyfriend and all my best friends. Why shouldn’t I be wide awake?”

“Oh no.” Kie appears from behind them with a blanket draped over her shoulders, still looking half asleep (and adorable, he thinks, before deleting that thought from his brain) and clutching her own coffee, “Who gave Sarah caffeine this early?”

He smiles as she settles down on the other side of him, tilting her head to rest on his shoulder and closes her eyes. “I guess it had to rain at some point.” He feels rather than sees her breathe in deeply, “I think I’m in love with this house too.”

Sarah laughs and suggests that they stay indoors today. “There are plenty of movies to watch or we could play board games or pool, and we’ve got food and drinks so we’re pretty much set.”

“Sure,” he shrugs gently so as to not disrupt Kie, “Sounds good to me.”

He stays there, long after the others have got up to grab breakfast or shower or whatever, taking in the sounds and smell of the rain and the strange, almost unknown, feeling of peace.

---

They end up staying in Memphis for another couple of weeks, making the most of the house and everything that the city has to offer.

They all agree on a Beale Street bar crawl one night after the success of the one in Nashville. JJ finds himself distracted by Kie once again during the evening as she dances with a stranger, but then she turns around and, finding him watching, beckons him with her finger and, really, he can’t say no to her ever.

Pope and Kie find both a Civil Rights and a Rock n Soul museum in the city which he decides might be alright if they’re anything like the other museums they’ve been to. He still has to go at his own pace and can only pay attention for so long but he finds he’s beginning not to mind so much the more he gets used to it.

(Pope pulls him aside as they’re heading back to the house that evening and asks, “Do you think maybe you have slight ADHD as well as being dyslexic?”

“Pope.” He groans, “Don’t try and find more things wrong with me.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you JJ,” Pope sighs, “it would actually explain a lot. Didn’t you ever get diagnosed?”

His eyebrows shoot up of their own accord, “You do remember who my sole guardian was, right? Luke Maybank avoids hospitals even more than he avoids police stations.”

To his credit, Pope does drop it after that.)

JJ suggests Sun Studio one morning when they’re all wondering what to do with the day. They book a tour and then take great delight in re-enacting various famous photographs taken there. He’s entirely positive that their group of 5 have more fun than anyone else that’s ever visited and scrawls something in the guest book saying as such.

At one point, someone mentions visiting the zoo but Kie quickly shuts that idea down by saying that she refuses to partake in animal cruelty by paying to see them in cages. Instead they all spend an afternoon wandering the Botanical gardens in the sun, which goes fine until John B challenges him to a tree climbing contest. They make it a quarter of the way to the top before a ranger comes into view and spots them, at which point they have to race back down and sprint out of the park before they’re caught. He hasn’t laughed that hard in ages.

One afternoon John B says that an Escape Room might be fun, but JJ’s not sure if he can deal with being locked in one space for a period of time, so suggests a tour of Elmwood Cemetery instead. About halfway through he wishes he’d agreed to the Escape Room just for some sort of thrill (he thinks that no ghost will ever be as terrifying as what he dealt with growing up) - but it soon picks up when John B starts screaming after he thinks he sees something and Pope joins in. Kie takes great delight in telling them it was just a shadow but he notices that from that point on Sarah’s hand never leaves John B’s, and Kie manages to walk in the middle of the group so she’s surrounded at all times.

“C’mon Kie, you can’t be scared?” He whispers at one point, dropping behind so they’re both now at the back of the group.

“I’m not.” She whispers back, “I just don’t want to tread on any snakes that might be lurking and, if I’m in the middle, it’s more likely someone will do it from around me instead.”

He nods, thinking back to that night in the OBX the summer they went after the gold and the fact that she’d been the one to head into the crypt to retrieve the parcel from Big John. She hadn’t been scared then either, but he does remember her reaction to the snake.

“Right,” He pauses, “or you could just bark at it? Everyone knows they’re scared of dogs.”

She laughs, walking faster to catch up with the rest of the group. “Shut up JJ.”

Mostly though, they came for Graceland and now that’s ticked off the list, they spend most of their time at the house. Eventually this too must come to an end when Kie gets an email from the owners to say that someone else has booked it from the following Monday. They agree to Jackson, Mississippi as their next stop over their final breakfast in the house, bags already packed and loaded.

“So it looks like you’ll be celebrating your birthday in Jackson, Kie.” Sarah announces. “We’ll have to find somewhere decent to celebrate.”

“Don’t you worry about that.” JJ throws his arm around Kie’s shoulders, winking to the others. “As the last Pogue to officially turn 21, we’ll make it one to remember!”

John B raises his glass, indicating for the others to do the same, “To Jackson!”

JJ quickly follows suit and clinks his glass against the others, “To Jackson!”

Chapter Text

If Kie was being completely honest she hadn’t particularly been looking forward to her birthday. As the last one of the Pogues to turn 21, she’d somehow managed to kid herself up until this point that she was still living her teenage years with no responsibilities, and still on the path to finding herself... whatever the hell that may mean.

But now she’d woken up and suddenly it seemed that with this birthday arrived adulthood, decision making and a trip across seas, leaving everything she knows and loves behind. Granted, she knows it’s not forever. She knows it’s likely she’ll end up back in the OBX at some point, it is her home after all, but she wants to do things; to see what the world has to offer and have experiences before she makes that decision. This is the main argument she’s had with her parents many a time, her explanations falling on deaf ears as they tell her how pointless it seems and such a waste of money, Kiara if she’s going to end up back where she came from. Her phone chimes as if on cue with a notification from her Mom, a smiling selfie of them both accompanying a birthday message wishing her a good day and that they will call her later to wish it again in person. She sighs, she can hear the others awake downstairs (silence was not something any of the Pogues were particularly known for) but she wants a moment to herself before she has to deal with reality.

She’d been using some savings for the first part of the trip - money she knew she’d get back and then some once the gold hit her account - but it had still taken her breath away when she’d seen the total figure that was now hers that morning. She reminds herself that it was worth it; for John B and Sarah to be happy together and get justice for his dad (Sarah still refuses to talk about her dad and brother to anyone but her therapist, but they all know she visits them at least once a month in jail), for Pope to get another chance at a good college and be able to pay for it and for JJ... for JJ it meant freedom and not having to worry about whether his next pay check meant paying the rent for his dad or putting food in his mouth that month. She pushes the covers back and stands up, pulling on a hoodie (Pope’s? JJ’s?) over her PJs and, not for the first time, wishes that that freedom extended to him going to Australia with her. She knows that part of her wants him with her for very selfish reasons but the other part, the part that’s been friends with him for a lot longer than anything else, knows that it would be good for him to get away for a while. She sighs again and heads downstairs.

Jackson was, in a word, ok. She’d found another house for them to stay in just outside the city, a couple minutes from a lake and, even though it was nice enough, it wasn’t Memphis and they all knew it. Even Pope, who’d initially been the most enthusiastic, had cooled off and they’d all agreed that they would stay for the weekend before moving on. New Orleans was looking more and more appealing as the days wore on.

She can’t help but smile as she walks down the last of the stairs and sees all of them, huddled over the dining table with their backs to her, loudly whispering.

“Sarah, I swear to God, do not—”

“If you put another candle on that cake Pope, it’s going to literally be on fire. Like actual fire.”

“JJ! For fuck’s sake! Stop licking the icing off the cake, it needs to be actually edible when she gets down—”

It’s John B who notices her first, a grin breaking out on his face before he breaks into a very pitchy rendition of Happy Birthday which the others soon join in on. The melancholy mood she’d woken up in soon vanishes as she takes in all four of her best friends, happy and carefree, and waiting for her to blow out the candles on her cake.

“C’mon Kie! Make a wish!”

She does as she’s asked and wishes for them all to stay friends, like this, forever.

---

They spend the day at LeFleur’s Bluff State Park at her request. There’s options to play golf or go fishing but they all opt for a hike around the lake, followed by an afternoon kayaking on the water instead. Her and Sarah choose a two person boat for themselves whilst the boys mess around in a three, bickering about who’s the best at paddling and trying to get each other as wet as possible.

(JJ’s request for skinny dipping this time around had been shot down immediately by Sarah because ‘it’s in broad daylight JJ, and not exactly private’ but the others had all agreed. Kie had tried to stop from blushing when her thoughts turned to the night in Memphis – this time she knows that she wasn’t imaging the weird tension between her and JJ that evening.)

She’s in the kayak in the middle of the lake, lying back and soaking up the late afternoon sun when Sarah breaks the (sort of) silence.

“So, is this the best birthday you’ve ever had or what?”

That morning Kie would maybe have argued that it wasn’t for no reason other than the mood she’d woken up in, but right now she figures that actually Sarah’s right. She’s with her best friends and, right at that moment, feels like she doesn’t have a care in the world - what more does she need?

“Mmhm.” She smiles, tilts her head back and closes her eyes once again.

There’s a sigh from next to her. “Alright, I can’t just sit here any longer and not say anything…”

“Huh?” The tone of Sarah’s voice causes her to sit upright and shuffle round so that they’re facing each other.

“You and JJ. JJ and you. What is up with you both? Wait! Don’t tell me! Did you two hook up?”

“What? No!” She shakes her head, frowning and indicates for the blonde to keep her voice down so that the boys don’t hear. “When- no, why would we have hooked up?”

Sarah raises her eyebrows and levels her with a look that Kie interprets as don’t be a fucking idiot.

“Just drop it, Sarah.”

To her credit, the blonde does just that, instead turning slightly in her seat and waving to the boys to gain their attention. Pope mimes a salute as they paddle over, all three boys hooking their arms over the girls’ boat to hold them in place when they reach them. Kie restrains herself from trying to push them all in.

“So, I sort of kind of maybe planned ahead for this evening but, in my defence, it’s not every day my girl turns 21!” Sarah pauses and smiles over at Kie, who shakes her head but smiles back as the boys whoop from next to her, “And in keeping with the theme of her having the best birthday ever, I found a really awesome bar we can go to in the city if you’re all up for it?”

They all loudly voice their consent.

They manage to make it back to shore, into the Twinkie and back to the house all in one piece and with everything they came with. Kie has to hand Pope twenty dollars when John B produces his keys and JJ his phone as evidence against the bet that said they would lose them to bottom of the lake.

“I thought you had more faith in me, Kie.” John B says, pulling her into a headlock and ruffling her hair.

“What can I say?” She manages to grind out, trying to shove him away but to no avail. The others are no help, instead checking their phone (Sarah), counting their winnings (Pope) or heading outside for a smoke (JJ). She’s saved from the headlock when her phone rings and heads upstairs, pushing the door shut behind her for some semblance of privacy then pressing accept. Her parent’s faces fill the screen.

“Kiara? Hello? Can you hear us?”

“Hi Mom. Hi Dad.” A grin breaks over her face as they begin to sing Happy Birthday and she’s glad that she gets to talk to them - despite all their disagreements she still loves and misses them. “Thank you.” She laughs as they finish. “Are you both ok?”

Her dad nods, “Same as always. How are you? How’s the road trip? Where are you now? Memphis still? How was Graceland?”

“One question at a time, Dad! We’re in Jackson, Mississippi now but Graceland was amazing! I’ll send you the photo of me and JJ in the Jungle Room in a sec. It looks like we’ll be heading to New Orleans on Monday as there’s not much here but it’s been nice for my birthday. There’s a lake near to where we’re staying and we’ve been kayaking and hiking and —”

“I hope you’re being careful!” Her mom cuts in. “Are you being safe? Locking doors… that kind of thing? Are the boys taking care of you and Sarah?”

“Mom,” She groans and resists the urge to roll her eyes, “We’re grown women, we can take care of ourselves!”

“I know, I know.” She watches the screen as her dad brings a hand around her mom’s shoulders in comfort, a move so familiar a brief pang of what feels like homesickness hits her for a moment. “I just worry about you. You’re still my baby girl after all.”

“Our baby girl!” Her dad adds on and this time she does roll her eyes, laughing.

“Not so much of a baby anymore!”

“No.” Her mom smiles and reaches out to touch the screen. “Look at you! Twenty one - officially an adult!”

Kiara doesn’t get chance to answer before the door bangs open and JJ sticks his head in. “Kie? Are you— oops! Fuck! I mean, sorry! I didn’t realise… Hi, Miss Anna. Mr Carrera, Sir.”

Her mom cuts in again before she can say anything. “Hello JJ. I hope you’re taking care of her for us.”

“Yes, Miss Anna. Super good care. She’s never once been out of my eyesight.”

She grins at him and the blatant sarcasm in his tone. She knows that ever since the Phantom went down her parents have tried to be more accepting of her friends but, out of all of them, JJ seems to be the one they still have the most problem with. She reckons it’s probably a lot to do with him being Luke Maybank’s son and the fact she seems to be spending all her time with him recently as they’d been the only two left in the Outer Banks – and probably not a lot else. It doesn’t help that JJ seems to be allergic to any kind of authority figure too.

“I’m being serious JJ, I need to know that someone is looking out for her.”

“Mom, stop it! He’s not on this trip as my babysitter, none of them are. We’re all looking out for, and taking care of, each other.”

She watches through the screen as JJ nods in agreement, coming into the room and sitting down next to her where she’s perched on the end of the bed. Her parents look between the two of them for a second before they nod too.

“We know,” Her dad says, “but we’re still allowed to worry about you all anyway.”

“Thanks Dad.” Kie decides not to push it further; even she doesn’t want to argue with her parents on her birthday. “Well, I guess I better get going. Sarah’s got something planned and I don’t want to disappoint…”

Her parents nod, smiles back on their faces at the mention of Sarah Cameron. Kie grits her teeth in return, glancing at JJ who’s gone uncharacteristically quiet.

“We’ll say bye then Kiara, we love you. Have a wonderful rest of the day! Bye JJ!”

“Bye Mom, bye Dad. Love you too.” They’re singing Happy Birthday again as she signs off and flops backwards so she’s lying down on the bed. “Well, that wasn’t so bad.” She waits for JJ to say something but, when he doesn’t respond, she pushes herself back up to sitting and rests her chin on his right shoulder. “JJ? They didn’t mean that about you taking care of me, I promise - it really isn’t your job.”

He nods, his left hand reaching up to run through his hair. “It’s just…” he says, swallowing, “your Dad, he said he worries about all of us. Did he mean that?”

Her heart plummets but she refuses to let him see anything other than indifference on her face, outward emotion had never been JJ’s strong point. Sometimes though she forgets that little things like that can mean so much to him, even after everything they’d been through.

She shrugs, “I mean, I guess. He wouldn’t have said it otherwise.”

She thinks she sees a small, genuine smile play on his lips before he shrugs her off.

“I was sent upstairs to announce that your presents are ready for you to open.” He stands up and holds his hands out to her, pulling her up to standing when she places her palms in his.

She groans, “I thought I said no presents.”

“I know, I know. But Sarah - and John B actually - insisted that it wasn’t a birthday without them. I think they’re rubbing off on each other.” He adds the last part in a stage whisper as they reach the bottom of the stairs.

“I heard that.” John B looks up at them from where he’s sat on the couch, his arm around Sarah, who’s sat next to him, beer in hand. “And I am choosing not to take offence because we’re both extremely right and you and Pope are both extremely wrong.”

JJ flips John B his middle finger in response, sitting down on the couch opposite.

“Hey!” Pope appears from the kitchen and flings himself down next to JJ, “I just said that there didn’t need to be presents on a birthday. I do, however, agree that presents are a good idea.”

Kie rolls her eyes as she sits down on the floor in front of JJ and Pope. “I repeat my earlier point where I also said that I didn’t need any presents.”

“You can’t be a party pooper on your own birthday Kie, it’s not allowed.” Sarah guys, shaking her head and handing her a book shaped package. “That’s from me and from me alone.”

“Even I am actually intrigued as to what this is.” JJ says, leaning forward next to her, “She’s not shut up about how she’s got you the best present ever for days.”

“Which isn’t true because I got you the best present ever so…” Pope reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small item, wrapped in what looks like old newspaper. “Sorry about the paper. I couldn’t find anything else.”

“The best one you say… so surely that means I have to open it first?”

There’s a moment of silence as she tears the newspaper off, revealing a small keyring with the picture of the five of them at Graceland on one side. The date and place it was taken printed in small writing on the other, alongside a small message that reads Happy Birthday Kie.

“Pope,” she says smiling, before she turns and throws her arms around him in a hug, “I love it, thank you.”

“It’s nothing. I just found this store in town and I know you said you didn’t want anything but Sarah said that she’d got you a present, so we all figured that something small wouldn’t hurt.” He looks slightly embarrassed by all the fuss so she moves on.

“Alright, moment of truth…” She echoes Sarah’s grin before she rips off the paper. Inside is a scrapbook which, upon opening the front cover, she sees is full of photos and memories from the past few years. Kie flicks through with JJ and Pope hanging over each of her shoulders, spotting a photo of her and Sarah the first time she’d travelled to see her and John B in Charleston, one of her and the boys outside the courthouse when they’d been legally declared owners of the gold, one of her, Pope and John B in the Twinkie and lots, lots more.

“Sarah! This is just… thank you!”

“Oh shit, is this when you made me—?” JJ laughs and points to a photo of the two of them at the Boneyard, his arm around her shoulders and huge grins on both their faces. It was the same night she’d made him stop drinking and leave the kegger early so that they could go and watch Loggerhead Turtles hatch, he’d made fun of her as she’d huddled over the hatchlings as they’d raced to the sea but when she’d explained why, he’d hopped right up and joined her.

She nods, “Yeah, I didn’t even know anyone had taken a photo that night?”

“I may or may not have done a lot of stalking on Instagram for a large majority of the photos in that book,” Sarah shrugs, “—but I will not be sorry for it!”

“So Kie, I’m next.” John B says as he hands her another parcel in the same paper as the scrapbook. She takes it from him and unwraps it to reveal a white t-shirt with a small cartoon picture of a Turtle in the middle and the words ‘Shell Yeah’ written above it. “I thought you could maybe wear it in Oz? Show them how serious you are about the turtle thing.”

She laughs, “Thanks, John B.”

“So,” She turns to JJ when he speaks, one eyebrow raised as he pulls an item from the side of the couch cushion, knowing full well what’s coming next, “it wouldn’t be a birthday without the usual…”

“Thanks JJ.”

The others laugh too as she takes the pro-offered bag of weed from his hand. It had become somewhat of a tradition for him to give them all a bag of weed as a gift for birthdays (and Christmas if he remembered to visit his cousin in time); even before Pope had decided that a smoke once in a while wasn’t the end of the world. They’d questioned it once, the summer before her Kook year whilst they were sat around a bonfire at Rixon’s, saying that they all shared it anyway so really, what was the point? JJ had replied with a ‘well that’s the last time I’m ever getting any of you anything, if that’s the appreciation I get’ but had still presented her with a bag when her birthday had rolled around. Kie hadn’t quite managed to get her head round the idea of JJ and traditions but John B, in a rare moment of clarity, had told her that JJ loved routine even more than the next person and when she’d found out about his dad, all the pieces had clicked into place.

“I er –” She frowns and follows JJ’s movements as he produces another item from his pocket, “I didn’t get chance to wrap it or anything and didn’t have Pope’s idea of using trash –”

“Oi!”

“- but I made you something. I thought I’d put all those years of you trying to show us how to braid your hair to good use.”

She looks down as JJ hands her a bracelet, messily plaited in shades of orange, red and gold (she suspects she now knows where the thread basket she uses to make her own bracelets has been hidden for the past few months) and blinks.

“You don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to, I know it’s not perfect, I just thought —”

“JJ,” she shakes her head, effectively cutting him off and handing the bracelet back to him, “I love it. Can you put it on for me?” He shrugs and does as she asks, his thumb lingering slightly too long on her wrist when he’s finished tying the knot. The sound of Sarah clearing her throat causes her to tear her wrist away and turn back to the others.

“I know I said I didn’t want presents but I love these. Thank you.” She stands up with the t-shirt in hand. “In fact, I’m going to—”

Kie is somewhat pleased when Sarah’s look of delight at the moment she just witnessed turns immediately into a frown. “Do not finish that sentence Kiara Carrera, you are not allowed to wear that t-shirt tonight.”

“But Sarah –” Kie begins at the exact same time as John B. “Jinx!” They both grin as Sarah rolls her eyes.

“It’s your birthday, you have to make a little effort! The same goes for you three… I promise it’s the last time I will make you all dress up!”

“Sarah,” JJ groans, throwing himself fully back against the couch cushions, “It’s a fucking bar.”

“A bar,” Pope nods wisely and continues, “where there will be drinking and dancing and spillages so I think that our best outfits would be, in fact, these.” He indicates to the shorts and t-shirt he already has on. “Besides, I know we are like full kook now but I would rather go through the summer of the gold all over again than actually dress like one.”

“I just want something other than open shirts, shirts with holes in, shirts with no sleeves…” Sarah begins listing items on her fingers that sum up the entirety of the boys’ wardrobes.

Kie turns and begins to walk away as the boys all begin protesting at once. She knows from experience that the best thing to do in this situation is to wait for it to run its course, there’s almost little to no point in arguing with Sarah Cameron.

She races up the stairs, actually remembering to lock the door of her room behind her this time to prevent any interruptions, and powers up a random playlist on her phone as she gets ready. She ends up settling on a plain black playsuit and her trusty yellow converse, her new bracelet proudly on display on her wrist alongside her others and pulls the top half of her hair up, purely to allow for some relief from the summer humidity on her neck.

“Oh thank fuck.” She wanders back downstairs nearly half an hour later to find John B, balancing a pencil on his nose, and JJ, flicking his lighter open and closed, sat next to each other on the couch. They seem to have won on the shorts front but both are now wearing buttoned shirts with no holes in sight, “Can we go now?”

“Where’s Pope and Sarah?” She asks, just as the former appears from the kitchen wearing the exact same outfit that he had on earlier, “What…?”

Pope shrugs, looking pleased, “Apparently I wasn’t the problem.”

“Fucking don’t, Pope.” John B mutters darkly, which makes Kie extremely glad she’d missed the end of that argument.

“I’m ready!” Sarah claps from behind her, clad in a white and black striped summer dress which causes John B’s mood to flip immediately.

“Shit. Is that the dress?”

Kie frowns, glancing between JJ and Pope, who shrugs, as John B and Sarah seem to have a wordless conversation. “At risk of interrupting here – but shall we go?”

Sarah shakes herself out of whatever just happened and nods as JJ picks up the van keys from the coffee table. Kie follows the rest of them outside and slams the door behind her, excited for celebrating her birthday and seeing what Jackson has to offer – even if it isn’t much.

JJ manages to find a space a couple blocks over from the bar to park so she links her arm with Sarah’s on the walk over, tempted to ask how she managed to goad both John B and JJ into changing their outfits, but also isn’t entirely sure she wants to find out.

“This is it!” The blonde girl announces as they all stop in front of the liveliest building on the street, music blaring which gets louder as they step inside. Kie smiles to herself as she takes in the dance floor to the left hand side, the dart boards covering the walls and the almost hidden away pool table to the back. There’s one very stressed looking bar man who seems to be trying to serve every customer at once and she knows she’s just about to add to that.

“C’mon.” She pulls Sarah by the arm towards the centre of the bar, pushing her way through the crowd. “Hi,” she begins once she’s got the man’s attention, “We’d like —”

“Oh hell no,” JJ cuts in, “can’t have you buying drinks on your own birthday. We’ll take five beers, please.” He pays and grabs the drinks, handing them out when the barman places them on the counter.

Kie takes a large sip of hers then nods, “Right, I’m heading this way!”

She indicates in the direction of the makeshift dance floor, packed with bodies and begins shimmying her way over. To her delight, all four of them follow.

Three beers later, she’s still dancing.

“I love this place! They haven’t carded me once!” Kie laughs as Pope throws his arms out and indicates the room as a whole, “I think I want to stay here forever.”

“Are you drunk, Popey?” John B rolls his eyes, surprisingly still on his first bottle which makes Kie think that Sarah had spoken to him in advance. “I take it this means I’ll be driving back.”

“No, but I may be lying.” Pope nods as he says it. “I’m going to go find the washrooms.” He wanders off in the direction of the back of the building.

”Do you think he’ll be ok?” Kie asks John B, both of them staring after him for a second. 

JB shrugs, taking another swig, “If he’s not back in ten minutes I’ll go find him.”

“JJ.” Sarah suddenly states, loudly and solemnly, “I adore you.”

Kie catches JJ’s eye, shaking her head once she realises just how drunk Sarah is. He shrugs, “Well of course, who wouldn’t?”

“And you.” Sarah continues, pointing drunkenly at John B who holds both hands up in surrender but the heart eyes between them say enough, “I adore you more. Come with me to get more drinks?”

“I don’t feel as though I have a choice.” Kie laughs as Sarah drags John B away, and then it’s just her and JJ.

“She didn’t tell me she adores me.” Kie pouts slightly, dancing closer to JJ under the strobe lighting.

“That’s ‘cos it’s obvious. She didn’t tell you because you already know.”

“That’s true.”

He leans in closer, “C’mon Kie, let’s show these Southerners how to dance.”

She grins, turning around and dancing with her back against JJ’s chest, something they’ve done plenty of times before back home but after Memphis she’s suddenly more aware of him, of her response to him and, most importantly, his response to her. He brings one arm up to loop round her waist, keeping in time with her and the music. She throws her head back and closes her eyes, one arm coming round to loop around his neck whilst he leans down and tucks his head against hers. Maybe it’s the alcohol talking, she thinks, but she’d quite like to stay here locked in this embrace for a long time, if JJ would let her. The melody gets louder and the beat gets faster so she turns and he grabs her hand, spinning her. The song ends, they’re sweaty and gross but she’s laughing, and JJ’s looking at her like she’s the only thing he can see. She swallows, her eyes flickering to his lips and when she looks back up she realises that he’s been doing the exact same.

“Kie.” He whispers, the noise around them fading away as he brings one hand up to brush a wayward curl behind her ear and suddenly she knows with absolutely clarity what is about to happen.

"JJ." She steels herself, shaking her head and taking a small step backwards. She feels cold all of sudden and her entire being is screaming at her to stay there, wrapped in his arms and see where the night might take them. But, she can’t. She’s going to Australia. He turned her down. They’re friends. Best friends even, and she can’t risk that, won’t risk that. “We shouldn’t... This- this is a bad idea.”

She ignores the stab that tells her to shut up and place her lips against his. 

“Sure. Just friends, right?” She can’t read the emotion in his eyes but he half smiles and shrugs then turns away from her and heads in the direction of the bar. She takes a deep breath, willing away the tears in her eyes and the emotion in her throat, then follows him.

“Kie! JJ!” Pope catches their attention and waves them over to the three of them. “There you are!”

“So, there’s only forty minutes of your birthday left!” John B hands her a shot. “Need to make them count!”

She sniffs the liquid in the glass, “What the fuck is this?”

“No clue,” Sarah giggles as she downs one straight after the other, “but after a while you can’t taste it anymore.”

“C’mon Kie.” JJ clinks his glass against hers but he still won’t meet her eyes, “Drink up! It’s your birthday!”

Four shots later, she realises that Sarah is right. 

---

It takes her an entire day to recover but it takes John B even longer. He’s still muttering about how he’s not built for that amount of alcohol any more when she’s squished between him and JJ in the back of the Twinkie, two and a half days later. They’d had to go back and pick the van up from where they’d left it on her birthday in town, none of them ending up in a sober enough state to drive at the end of that night. Pope had offered to drive to New Orleans with Sarah opting in as co-pilot, something which they all hadn’t argued with despite knowing that it was likely to take a lot longer than the three hours Google Maps had promised.

“I did warn you.” Pope pipes up as he signals off the highway, “After the sixth or seventh shot, John B.”

“I know,” The boy in question groans, “but I was too far gone by then. Go hard or go home right?”

“Go home,” Kie shakes her head at him, “you definitely should have opted for go home.”

Sarah nods from the front, twisting round and offering her boyfriend a sympathetic smile, “Even I stopped after five!”

“Yeah but you’re a fucking lightweight Sarah.”

“Fuck off JJ, I’m better than I was a year ago.”

JJ snorts, “Yeah, whilst my buddy here seems to be getting worse.”

“I’m old JJ, for Christ’s sake, when did this happen?”

“You’re not old John B, you’re two months younger than I am…”

Kie shakes her head again, tuning out their bickering and pulling out her phone to search for accommodation in New Orleans. “Hey guys,” she says a few moments later, “GUYS!”

“Geez Kie, please. No shouting.” She rolls her eyes at John B who takes that as his queue to shut up.

“I’ve found some hostels that look pretty cool in New Orleans. There’s one –”

“What about this one?” JJ leans over her shoulder and clicks on one of the links on her screen. She’s thankful that there’s no awkwardness between them after their almost kiss and that things are pretty much back to normal (she’s trying not to think about the fact that she feels as though she made a huge mistake and normal doesn’t quite feel right anymore). “It’s near the Museum of Death. Hey Pope, a museum that I’m actually into for once – or this one?”

Kie manages to bat his hand away before he touches her phone again. “Quit it, JJ!”

“I’m just pointing out all the good options, doing us all a favour. That one’s near a Voodoo Museum which would also be pretty cool. Maybe they teach you how to actually do voodoo and shit?”

“I doubt it.” Pope says, “Though I’d love to voodoo the shit out of some of these drivers.”

“Wow Pope,” Sarah nods, looking impressed, “Didn’t know you had it in you!”

“Ok so the Museum of Death one it is.” Kie mutters, navigating through the webpage and booking them a mixed six bed dorm for the next couple of nights.

It takes them another 40 minutes to get there, park and unload their things. The reception they step into is colourful, bright and, upon first inspection, clean which, after the first hostel experience, Kie always takes as a good thing.

“Hi!” The petite girl standing at reception, hair cut into a neat blonde bob and dressed in green dungarees, greets them. “I’m Sophie! Welcome to New Orleans! I take it you’re Kie and... friends?”

She nods, heading up to the counter, “Yeah, this is John B, Sarah, Pope and JJ.”

The girl nods at each of them, “Hi!”

Kie wonders how someone can be this perky at five o clock in the afternoon. A quick, shared glance with Sarah tells her that her friend is thinking the exact same thing.

“So you’re all in room 6 which is on the first floor to the left, bathrooms are male and female and at the end of the hall. Are you ok with just the one room key?” Kie nods as Sophie places it in front of her. “Great! There’s a kitchen through this corridor to the left and games room to the right. Do you guys know what you wanna do whilst you’re here or I can give you some recommendations?”

“Recommendations would be fantastic.” Sophie grins stretches wider at Pope’s answer before reaching for a pen and bringing a map up onto the counter too.

“Ok so you’ve got your Museum of Death here, Voodoo Museum here, there’s also some really cool shops here too and jazz bars which, if you’re into music, I would definitely recommend...”

JJ elbows her in the ribs as Sophie circles a few places on the paper, Kie elbows him back in reply.

“...there’s also a few cemetery tours you can do and trips out on the Bayou but let me know on those ‘cause I can book you on for a cheaper price. Perks of the trade!” Sophie pauses, tapping the pen against her chin, “Oh yeah! One last thing - there’s Carousel Gardens if you like parks? There’s a Ferris wheel and you can see the whole city up there! Real pretty when it gets dark.”

“Thanks.” Pope takes the map and folds it up.

Sophie nods and smiles, “No worries. Like I said, let me know if I can do anything else for you whilst you’re here. Have a good stay!”

She waves them away in the general direction of stairs, all of them reeling slightly for her endless energy.

“Wow.” John B says once they’re all safely inside room 6, which is as brightly decorated as the room downstairs, “And I used to think you were full on, Sarah.”

“Excuse me?”

“Used to babe, used to.” He places a kiss on the top of her head as an apology.

“I dunno.” JJ dumps his bag on the floor then climbing the ladder to the bed above Pope’s, “I kinda liked her.”

Kie ignores the way her heart sinks, weirdly hoping that nothing will come of him saying that. His previous words from the night of her birthday play on repeat inside her head, just friends.

“Me too.”

“You would Pope, she’s literally given you the holy grail with that map.”

“Fuck off JB, there’s some really cool shit on here.”

Kie can’t help but smile as Pope, once again in his element, starts plotting their activities out loud. She lies back on her bottom bunk and closes her eyes, “Wake me up when it’s time to eat.”

---

They spend their first full day in New Orleans ticking off as many things as possible on the map. In a quest for souvenirs, they head for the shops that Sophie had circled, some filled with tacky key rings and magnets but others filled with herbs, inscribed ornaments and other antiquities that Kie finds she quite enjoys perusing.

“Hey look Pope, maybe you could use this to voodoo the other drivers?” Sarah holds up a key ring with what looks like a shrunken head hanging off it in one such shop.

A shudder ripples through them all.

“I think I’m good with just cursing them out from the safety of the van.”

“Sure?” Sarah wiggles the head around slightly, “Because I think this head has a thing for you.”

“I hate this place. That gives me the creeps.”

“Awh JJ, maybe you could just bark at it?”

“Fuck off John B.”

“I dunno, some of it’s kinda cool.” Kie makes a decision to buy both of the anklets she’d been eying up and heads to the back of the store to pay. The woman behind the counter smiles knowingly at her when she puts them down on the counter and pulls some change out her purse. “Just these, please.”

The lady carries on smiling as she takes the money and hands the anklets back. Kie’s just about to turn away when the lady’s hand shoots out and rests on her arm for a brief second.

“Trust the path you’re on my dear, he’ll be there, waiting for you.”

Kie nods, unsure of what else to say she mutters a quick ‘thank you’ and then follows the others out the shop.

“Ok, what just happened? Who’s the dude and why’s he waiting for you?”

“I have absolutely no fucking clue.” She shrugs, bending down to tie both anklets around her ankle.

“Told you, super fucking weird.”

“Yes, thank you JJ.” Kie stands back up, brushing off her knees before holding out her leg. “What do you think?”

“Love them!” Sarah smiles, linking her arm with hers. “C’mon, I’m starving!”

--- 

Kie begins to wish they’d done things the other way round when, after lunch, they decide to head to the Museum of Death.

“It doesn’t seem so bad.”

All of them turn to look at Pope at the exact same time.

“Please tell me you’re kidding. We’re only in the reception area and that picture over there makes me wanna vomit. I’m out.”

“Yeah, I’m seconding that.” JJ raises his hand, agreeing with Sarah. “I know I said I’d probably enjoy it here but I think I’ve had enough trauma to last me a lifetime.”

Kie internally winces as JJ finishes speaking.

“John B?”

“Sorry man, I’m with the others on this.” He claps a hand on Pope’s shoulder briefly before turning to follow the others out the building.

“Kie?”

She glances around again quickly before her eyes land back on Pope. “I’ll go in if you really want to but it’s likely I will have my eyes closed the entire time.”

He smiles but turns to make his way to the exit, “You’re a good friend, Kiara.”

She shrugs as he holds the door open for her and she walks through, “I know, but it does worry me what you’ve become accustomed to at college. You didn’t even bat an eyelid in there.”

They re-join the others, “I guess once you’ve seen one cadaver, you’ve seen them all.”

John B gags dramatically so Pope pulls him into a headlock. Kie turns to Sarah as they start scuffling, the blonde girl looking on fondly, and JJ who’s muttering something about really needing a smoke.

“Jazz bar anyone?”

That first night Kie takes a note out of John B’s book and decides that if he wants to live in Jackson, she’d quite like to live in New Orleans. She has to give credit where credit is due; Sophie had definitely pointed them all in the right direction. The atmosphere, the people, the drinks and the music…

God, the music.

She’s happy to just sit, sipping her beer, and listen. Listen to the notes and the lyrics and let it wash over her, taking it all in. It’s better than anything she’s heard already, better than winning the gold, better than surfing. If the others say anything about her blissed out state, she doesn’t notice. This, this, was exactly why she wanted to travel - to see things, experience things, meet new people. She goes to bed feeling happier and more carefree than she has in a long while.

---

Their second day in the city dawns bright and clear, and she wakes to find that Pope had booked them onto a cemetery tour first thing plus a trip to the Bayou the following day.

“Was it Sophie?” JJ asks as he runs his hands through his hair in an attempt to tame the mess.

Just friends.

Pope nods, “Yeah, she was super helpful. She said if we’re free tomorrow night there’s a bar she could take us to, I figured saying yes wouldn’t hurt. Not like we have any other plans.”

“Cool.” JJ nods and throws the door open, “Shall we go?”

A half hour later, Kie is beginning to wish that she was somewhere else.

“Ok, is anyone else finding this super creepy too?”

“How are you finding this creepy but not the shrunken head yesterday? Do you just have something against this city, John B?”

“Do you just find it ok that there are real people in there, JJ?”

She can feel a headache forming so, in an attempt to calm their bickering, chips in. “You seemed ok at the graveyard in Memphis.”

“Oh yeah, really ok Kie. The screaming showed just how much he enjoyed that.”

“Will you two quit it?” Pope hisses through his teeth as the tour guide frowns and looks in their direction. “Go to the back if you don’t want to listen.”

“Nu-uh.” Sarah shakes her head, her palm linked with John B’s, “That’s where they pick you off first.”

“Jesus Christ.” Kie rolls her eyes, “This is the last time I’m going anywhere with any of you of my own free will.”

JJ bursts into laughter, bumping his shoulder against hers then holding his hands up in defeat when Pope once again glances backwards. Kie can’t help but smile as he says, “Ok, ok we’ll behave.”

She’s glad when they make it to the amusement park at Carousel Gardens another hour and a half later without any further sniping, and heads straight towards a refreshments stand.

“Wow Kie,” John B’s eyes widen as she downs two bottles of water straight after the other, immediately feeling a lot better, “dehydrated or what?”

“That’s what spending time with you does to me.”

“Oh yeah, don’t hold back. Tell us how you really feel.” 

She turns back to the refreshment stand and the woman behind the counter, “I’ll take some Cotton candy while I’m here too actually.”

“Yeah, make that two…” Sarah glances at John B who shrugs and nods, “No, wait, make it three.”

“Actually, four.”

All of them turn to JJ who digs out his own wallet, “Make it five.”

Once they’ve been served and paid, she asks a friendly looking passerby to take a photo of the five of them (some unspoken agreement between Pope and Sarah had meant that the selfie stick had been packed away for good for the rest of the trip) and smiles when she’s handed back her phone and sees the evidence.

The Carousel is in the background and all of them have their Cotton candy in hand but she takes a moment just to take it in because the photo is just so them. John B’s arm resting around Sarah’s waist, eyes open and smiling at the camera for once, with Sarah’s arm around him in return, her face turned slightly towards Pope in the middle, both of them laughing at something in the split second that the picture had been taken. But it’s her and JJ who catch her eye the most, she’s facing forward towards the camera and smiling, almost in the same position as John B except her head’s on JJ’s shoulder and his arm around her shoulders, and JJ… JJ with his cap flipped backwards so you can clearly see his face, is looking down at her and smiling her favourite smile.

“Is it a good one?” Pope asks, leaning in to try and get a better view, “One to be added to the scrapbook?”

Kie smiles at him, “Oh yeah, definitely. JB had his eyes open for this one and everything.”

John B groans, “I try my best, I really do.”

They spend the afternoon wandering round the park, finishing their Cotton candy and end up on the Carousel, not once but five times because Sarah insists that she needs good photos of all of them on the horses. On their sixth go, with all five of them finally on the Carousel at the same time she laughs and turns to face JJ next to her.

“I feel like I’m five again. It’s been a long time since I rode on a horse.”

“What about riding other things?”

“JJ!” She hisses as his eyes flash with something she can’t quite place, “There are children here.”

“Well they’re going to have to find out how they were made someday…” This time reaches out to try to push him off but he just grins and slides slightly sideways before hoisting himself back to seated. Placing a hand over his heart he says, “I’m wounded Kie, wounded.”

She just rolls her eyes.

They end up on the Ferris Wheel just as dusk approaches, the sky a mixture of pinks, purples and oranges around them and really, Kie thinks, she has to hand it to Sophie for telling them about this. The view from the top of the city is magnificent, she can see for miles.

She shifts to take a better photo which causes both Pope and JJ to grab the hand rail, the three of them squeezed into one seat with John B and Sarah on the one directly behind.

“Really?” She asks almost in disbelief, putting her phone away and deciding to just enjoy the moment.

“We are so fucking high right now Kie, it’s a genuine fear.” Pope swallows, his eyes squeezed shut. “I don’t even know why I thought this would be fun. Remind to never do anything like this again.”

JJ is slightly better, his eyes are open and actually taking in his surroundings, but his knuckles are still deathly white around the bar in front of him and his hand shoots out to grab onto her arm when the ride jolts on its slow descent back down. She keeps her hand over his his until they reach the bottom, where both boys are quick to jump out and place their feet on solid ground again, emitting twin sounds of relief.

“Thank fuck.”

John B and Sarah hop out behind them, looking like they’d spent the entire ride making out with each other but trying to hide it.

“Have fun?” She asks, smirking, and receives two small smiles and a nod in return.

They decide to make the most of the sunset and the balmy weather and walk the hour back to the hostel. Kie thinks, not for the first time, that maybe JJ’s road trip idea hadn’t been so bad after all.

---

They’re up and awake early the next day to catch the bus to the Bayou, something that happens with only minimal grouching from all of them which in itself is some kind of miracle. The fact they’d come all this way only to end up near yet another body of water is not lost on Kie. It’s like they’re attracted to it somehow - in their blood as JJ always says - and she wonders whether he’s right for once. 

“I miss the HMS Pogue.” The boy in question laments, throwing himself down next to her on the bench. She watches his eyes dart around, taking in his surroundings, as the boat beginning to move through the water. “I also miss beaches and my surfboard.”

“Your surfboard is with us on this trip. It’s literally attached to the top of the van.”

“What I’m saying...” JJ waves her away as though she hadn’t spoken, “is that I miss surfing.”

“We know.” Sarah says from her seat in front of them. There’s a slight pause as she opens the sunscreen and then proceeds to spray herself and everything else within what looks like a five metre radius.

“Well, I’m having fun –” Kie’s cut off from what she’d been about to say as Pope and John B exclaim from behind her.

“HOLY SHIT!”

She starts laughing once she and JJ have recovered from the shock to their systems. She notices that the majority of the rest of the passengers in the boat are now glancing their way.

“Erm, there’s an actual ‘gator over there.” Kie’s eyes widen as she looks to where Pope’s finger is pointing in the direction of a huge alligator, sunning itself on the river bank.

“Holy shit.” JJ, who’d shifted in his seat presumably to get a better look, echoes Pope’s earlier statement. His voice comes from right by her ear, causing goosebumps to erupt all down her arms at his tone and also from him being so close. She can see his face out of her peripheral vision and her heart starts beating double time.

“Kie,” he whispers, as though speaking any louder would cause the large animal to notice them and somehow find a way to eat them alive, “are you seeing this? They’re real. Holy shit.”

In an effort to distract herself she blurts the first thing that comes to mind - “Australia has crocodiles too” — and then mentally slaps herself for ruining the moment. Sometimes she forgets that JJ didn’t have the same experiences as the rest of them growing up, that more often than not he didn’t join them on field trips, couldn’t afford to until Big John came along, and so missed out on the aquariums and the zoo visits that meant seeing animals up close and not just through a TV.

“Sorry.” She mutters as she turns and follows his movements as he sits back, his excitement dialled back. “I didn’t mean that.” 

He nods and she tunes back in to the rest of their surroundings. The gator now drifting out of view and everyone heading back to their seats, cameras and phones still in hand; Sarah, John B and Pope amongst them. They see a few more alligators, take more photos (including another one of all five of them that Kie decides she’s going to print and stick on her wall as soon as she gets home) and then the boat trip is over and they’re back at the hostel. 

Sophie greets them when they wander back in, smiling at them all and asking how their trip was, then saying that she’d meet them back down here in half an hour when her shift ends. JJ grins and waves the rest of them ahead, saying he’s good to go. Kie nods, once again ignoring the jab in her gut as she follows the others upstairs, dutifully returning to their room to get ready.

They head to a fancy looking cocktail bar in the French Quarter after grabbing a bite to eat. A couple hours in, she’s done an equal amount of dancing and drinking which she’d count as a success. Sophie had disappeared the moment they stepped foot in the place, waving to someone she knew, and the boys had wandered off in search of a pool table or the like a while ago, so now it’s just her and Sarah, perched on bar stools that were becoming more and more uncomfortable by the second.

“Kie, about what I said the other day, at the lake? Forget I mentioned anything.”

“It’s ok, I –”

“No!” The blonde stops her, “it’s not ok. I really shouldn’t have said anything. It’s not my business who you like or who you like like.”

She laughs at the middle school terminology. “It’s fine, really. I just don’t wanna be known as that girl, the one that’s kissed all of her best friends, y’know?”

“And you’re not!” There’s a pause where Sarah looks like she’s having some kind of internal argument with herself. “I don’t wanna push it but John B kinda told me what you asked him when he kissed you the summer of the gold.”

She’s looking out at the crowd so she’s only half listening when she replies, “Oh right, what did I say?”

“He said that you asked him if he had told JJ that you’d kissed.”

She stills, suddenly remembering the conversation they’d had out in the middle of the ocean.

Why had she said that?

Sarah continues, “What about you and Pope?”

“What about me and Pope? I thought you said to forget you mentioned it!”

“I know, but before I really do drop it, I just wanna know this one last thing – when you and Pope kissed, would you have wanted him to tell JJ if he wasn’t there when it happened too?”

Kie cringes at the memory of the few kisses her and Pope shared and the relationship - if you could even call it that - they’d had afterwards. It had been a heat of the moment thing, too caught up in the gold and the adrenaline and the feeling that time was running out.

Sarah smiles at whatever look must be on her face before she carries on, “Remember what you said to me when I got back from the Bahamas with John B? That losing us was like losing a limb - like something was missing but you could still carry on? But that night, when you turned up at the Chateau and you found JJ, when you thought he was dead too...”

Kiara frowns, pulled back into the memory of arriving at the Chateau, and the utter dread and panic that had filled her when JJ hadn’t responded from where he’d been lying face down on the pull out. Her shaking hands as she’d put him into the recovery position, Pope on speed dial, talking her through what to do. It had likely only been minutes before JJ had coughed, thrown up and then rolled over, pushing her away and telling her to fuck off but to her it had felt like hours. She’d managed to keep herself together enough to make sure he’d drank enough water and was propped upright, pulse now steady underneath her fingertips as he slept. She’d thanked Pope and hung up, mopped up the vomit and tidied the mess before she’d locked herself in the bathroom and sobbed into her hands, not wanting him to hear her. She’d told Sarah what had happened on a night when it had just been the two of them, after they’d both drank too much and all the emotion from that night had come pouring out.

She looks down at her hands when she answers, repeating the same words she’d said that night, many years ago. “It was like someone had ripped my heart out and hadn’t put it back.”

Her gaze re-focuses on her friend at the realisation that maybe her feelings run a lot deeper than she first thought. “Sarah, he— I mean, we nearly kissed on my birthday and I just, I thought it would be too much so I pushed him away and I—"

Sarah cuts her off with a half squeal before she contains herself and instead nods sympathetically. “I think you need to tell him how you’re really feeling. You guys have been skirting around whatever thing this is since me and John B got back and it’s been driving us all crazy. You’d have to be blind to not see that you guys are made for each other. I mean, the bracelet on your birthday should have been a major clue, Kie! What have you got to lose?”

“But he... I mean, I just...,” she says, trying to gather her thoughts, “If he feels the same way then why won’t he come to Australia with me?”

“Maybe because he needs reassurance as to why you’re asking him that? You know JJ, he won’t agree to anything that feels like charity. He probably thinks you’re only asking him because you’re being kind and feel bad that he’s being left behind, not because you like him and actually want him there. Honestly,” she shakes her head, “you two are both so fucking stubborn, it’s ridiculous.”

“But what would I even tell him? I can’t just walk up to him and tell him and – and, I don’t know, make out with him or something. He’ll think I’m insane.”

Sarah grins, leaning forward conspiratorially and almost tipping forward off her stool in the process. Kie flings her arm out at the last minute to stop her from face planting the floor.

“Then tell him you are insane… insane for him! Go on! Go find him!”

Kie bursts out laughing again but, in her half drunken state, she has to agree that what Sarah is saying makes a lot of sense. She pushes off her stool and heads to the small smoking area out the back of the bar, eyes peeled and searching for another head of familiar blonde hair. She’s just about to turn and head back inside when she spots him - and then her night goes to shit.

He’s leaning with one arm against one of the trees that surround the small courtyard, red cap tucked into his back pocket and hair messy, his other hand on Sophie’s waist. Kie watches as the girl from their hostel reception looks up at him for a moment before they both lean in and their lips meet. They break apart a moment later and he says something that makes Sophie shake her head in what looks like exasperation, a small smile on her face.

Kie doesn’t know why she’s surprised, he’s been flirting with her since they were teenagers so why would now suddenly be any different? There have been other girls of course, but then recently it had seemed like... She cringes, pushing away that thought and reminding herself that the only time JJ had even tried to make a proper move on her was on her birthday when they’d both been drinking. The way he’d said ‘sure, just friends’ playing again in her head and the way he’d shrugged without a care in the world should have clued her in there and then that she was in way deeper than he was. It had been a spur of the moment thing. Why had she thought any different? How had she thought any different?

She stumbles and turns away, making it back to where she last saw Sarah before she realises she’s crying.

She’s fucking crying in the middle of a bar and she needs to get out.

“Kie? Oh my God! What happened? Where’s JJ? Are you ok?” Sarah says, suddenly completely sober, grabbing her hand and pulling her closer.

She shakes her head, “I just, I need to get out of here. Do you have the room key?”

Sarah opens her purse and hands it to her. “Are you sure you’re ok? Do you want me to come with you? I can find the boys and we-"

“NO!” She shouts a little too loudly, her eyes flicking around the bar in the hope that no one else has seen her yet. “No. I just – don’t tell them anything, please? I just need to be alone right now. I’ll see you back at the hostel.”

“Are you sure?”

She nods her head, “I’ll see you later.”

She escapes before Sarah can ask any more questions or John B, Pope or, God forbid, JJ see her with tears tracking down her face.

She pushes her way through the crowd to the entrance, turning right once she’s out the door to head back in the direction of the hostel, the night air cooling her face and her gasping breaths gradually getting calmer. It’s dark and she’s in a city she’s only known for approximately 72 hours, but she knows the walk will do her good.

“Kie!”

“Shit.” She wipes her face quickly before turning around.

“Kie? Are you ok?” JJ’s hands come up, ghosting over her, checking for external injuries that just aren’t there. Her eyes focus on what looks like a red lipstick stain on his collar, making her swallow hard before replying.

“I’m fine, JJ. I’m just not feeling so good. I’m gonna head back to the hostel.” She takes a deep breath, finally looking up to meet his eyes and her heart feels like it’s about to break into pieces all over again. His hands drop, frowning at whatever look is on her face.

“Ok well I’ll go get the others, this night was a washout anyway so—"

“No, honestly I’m fine. I’m just gonna go to bed so there’s no point in you all coming back with me. Stay here, have fun, enjoy your night.”

“Kie...” He looks as though he’s about to say more but a flicker of movement to the side distracts them both for a split second. She realises with a jolt that it’s Sophie, who’s probably looking for him, so she pastes a smile on her face and takes a step back.

“I’m fine JJ. I’ll see you later, ok?”

She turns around and begins walking, wrapping her arms around herself and refusing to look back.

Chapter Text

It takes JJ far too long to realise that something is up with Kie.

It starts slowly. 

They’d left New Orleans a couple nights after he’d followed Kie from outside the bar. He could of sworn that she’d been crying which is why he had gone after her in the first place but, when she’d turned around to face him, her face had been dry. He’d made sure she’d got back to the hostel safely (at a far enough distance so she wouldn’t get freaked out about someone following her, he’s not a complete idiot), convincing himself that he would have done it for any girl, whether he knew her or not, and not just because it was Kie.

Sarah and John B drive the six hours to Houston between them, with Pope tucked up between him and Kie in the backseat. She’d found another decent hostel - with the rooms being separate girls and boys dorms again - and she seemed to be speaking and laughing like normal, but then he’d catch Sarah looking over and frowning, or Kie would excuse herself to go to bed early, and he thinks that maybe he should question it, only he doesn’t know how. 

He’d noticed that, although she hadn’t been different as such, she’d been distant since her birthday, which he’d put down to tiredness or being homesick and definitely not because of their almost kiss. He’d squashed that thought before it could even take root in his head. She’d shot him down, not the other way round, thank you very much. He’d even gone so far as to ask if she was ok a couple of times, but she’d shrugged him off with a “Fine JJ, thanks.” and he’d taken it at face value. To all intents and purposes, nothing had really changed.

Houston passes by in a blur of Space related museums, mainly in thanks to John B who seemed to have developed an obsession with the final frontier (Pope was clearly rubbing off on the both of them). For his part, JJ briefly considers that maybe this is something he could do with his life - but then Sarah mentions the dried food and having to live up in space for years on end and he immediately changes his mind about being an astronaut. He’s happy with boats and cars and surfing and besides, he’d miss his family. He had glanced over at Kie, laughing at something John B had said, and thought that he’d probably miss her most of all.

They’d agreed Pope could drive the four hours to Dallas, though they’d also allowed for a whole day to get there, just because. They’d taken fewer rest stops, which JJ had only grumbled about once, but that had meant his interest had waned slightly. Thanks to being navigator for that stretch of the journey, he let himself loose on their playlist. He was queuing more and more ridiculous songs until Kie had poked him in the back with her foot and proclaimed that “No one needs to hear five Backstreet Boys songs in a row, JJ,” which had begun a somewhat heated discussion between her and Sarah over who the best Backstreet Boy was. (JJ lost track but he thinks they may have settled on Howie?)

Dallas had charm, even JJ had to admit that, but it was also tinged with an odd vibe that he definitely told everyone about at least once, claiming that “where people get shot is just weird, alright.” He does find Dealey Plaza morbidly fascinating though and wants to tell Kie about a series he watched once on Netflix - something about umbrellas - that he was sure was filmed here, but she’s not within hearing range when he looks around and he feels slightly stupid bringing it up with any of the others, so he lets it drop. The rest of that week is spent hiking around White Rock Lake and, much to his delight, fishing with the boys at Joe Pool Lake whilst Kie and Sarah go to the museum of illusions. All three boys soon regret that decision when the girls return and Sarah shows them her camera roll. JJ sighs and mutters that museums should really be more clear whether they’re boring or not in their name. (When he racks his brain later, he realises that that’s probably the last time in days he’d made Kie smile.)

It’s a good nine hours into their twelve hour journey to Colorado Springs (not including the one, very cold overnight stay in the Twinkie by the side of the road), when Kie, upon announcing that Pope had only driven very briefly the day before, asks the other boy if he would like to be navigator.

“But I thought I was navigator for this bit?” JJ had stupidly asked, one hand already on the passenger door handle.

“It’s ok. You’ve just driven the last stretch, you can relax. Pope doesn’t mind, do you?”

Pope had looked somewhat confused, glancing between the two of them in what, JJ thought, may have been some kind of unspoken stand off - only she was kind of making sense so he’d clambered into the back seat beside John B and Sarah and had let the matter drop.

It was as they pulled up in front of a cabin in the middle of the woods, and Sarah had scrambled out of the van saying things along the lines of, “Where do you find these places Kie? They’re magical!” And, “I’ve changed my mind, this is the best one yet. There’s nothing but views for miles.” Then finally, “I think I might be in love with you because of this, can I kiss you to prove it?” that JJ realised he and Kie hadn’t had a proper conversation in days. The girls had laughed, slinging their arms around each other’s waists and walking into the house together. Meanwhile, JJ’s stomach, twisting with what felt like jealously, had finally made his head catch up with his heart and go  oh.

He’d thought he’d got whatever these feelings were out of his system with Sophie, but when they’d kissed, all he could think about was dark hair and golden skin and bright laughter and the fact that she wasn’t Kie. Sophie, who was probably a good person to have around in a crisis, had told him to just tell her how he felt and be damned with the consequences but he couldn’t do that. He’d already decided that he didn’t want to be a physical burden by tagging along to Australia with her, which also meant that he definitely couldn’t burden her with the fact that he’d realised he was most definitely in love with her before she went… could he?

He’d managed to stumble inside after the others, almost in shock from what he’d just admitted to himself, and in the time it took them to look around the house (three sitting rooms this time with big enough couches to sit all five of them at once, a large kitchen in which he’d watched Kie’s face light up in delight, two bathrooms, five bedrooms and a wrap around porch with more armchairs than he’d ever seen to settle down into. The back lawn also opened up onto a fire pit which they’d all sworn they’d make use of), he’d managed to pull himself back together. He almost wants to thank his Dad for years of practise at behaving normally.

It’s another three days of sending himself into countless thought spirals when, after having only seen Kie once briefly at breakfast since they’d arrived, John B asks him if he’s noticed whether something may be up with her too. JJ breathes a small sigh of relief, glad that it’s not just him that thinks it’s weird.

She’d been leaving earlier and earlier each day to go hiking - Sarah had told him not to panic as she’d made sure that Kie had her location on at all times. JJ still made sure that the blonde checked it periodically throughout the day, just in case - and it was starting to feel like she didn’t want to be around them or maybe, possibly, almost definitely, just around him.

The remaining four had done some pretty cool hikes themselves through the Garden of the Gods and Red Rock Canyon but, on the fifth or sixth day of no Kie, and having to keep reminding himself she wasn’t around every time he wanted to share something stupid with her, he thinks that he would have enjoyed it more with her by his side.

On their last night in Colorado Springs, she finally graces them with her presence. All of them sit around the campfire, reminiscing about the past two weeks, and he takes a moment to count out all the times he’s seen her for more than hour since they’d arrived. He gets to four. She’d been asleep when the rest of them had got back earlier and had come out to join them long after darkness fell, slipping in quietly next to Sarah who’d flung her arm, and blanket, around the darker haired girl without hesitation. JJ, in what he would deem another act of impulse that never ends well, had made it his mission for the night to make Kie laugh.

“What did we do?’ He hisses to Pope as Kie once again ignores his attempts - but then laughs at something the other boy says a moment later. He flushes and immediately hates himself for it, so heads inside to grab another drink.

Sarah joins him a moment later and he takes his chances.

“Why is Kie annoyed with me?”

Sarah frowns, “She’s not annoyed with you. Why would you… Oh, because of the hikes? Well, sometimes people just need time alone, JJ, I’m sure you know that.”

His heart stutters briefly and he can feel his skin prickling as he says, “But why won’t she talk to me?”

“You literally had a full blown conversation with her about marshmallows ten minutes ago…”

“It’s not the same.” He dismisses her point with a wave of a hand, wondering if maybe Kie hadn’t actually told her what was going on either. “What if I want to sweat the small stuff with her? I just,” he clears his throat and looks through the window to where she’s sitting, her back to him, “Fuck. I miss having her around.”

Sarah does that sad smile she seems to reserve only for him, then says, “JJ, she’s going to Australia, this is what it will be like for at least a year. Maybe she’s just trying to give you both some space now so that you can get used to it? I mean this in the nicest possible way, but… you both made your choices, now you both have to live with them.”

And yeah, she definitely knows something because she squeezes his arm as she passes him on the way out.

“Fuck.” He says again, running a hand through his hair. He could have sworn Sarah was no longer talking about just Australia at the end of her small speech, but it’s late and he’s drank too much beer to try and figure it out now. He needs to fix this somehow, repair the growing riff that had somehow opened up between them, if only for their friendship more than anything else.

He looks up and out of the window again, watching as Kie turns sideways briefly, the firelight highlighting her face and eyes sparkling, to let Sarah sit back down. He sighs. He misses her. Only she’s not even left yet and his heart already feels like it’s broken in a million pieces.

Chapter Text

Kie knew that Colorado Springs had been a total disaster. She’d made a conscious decision to spend time away from the rest of the Pogues, time that she hoped would help her get used to being by herself ready for Australia — or that’s what she’d told herself anyway. In reality, she’d spent far too much time trying to clear her head of thoughts about JJ and her feelings and not much else. She knew that it was stupid, thinking that there had been something between them. The night of her birthday should have been enough to convince her, the just friends talk they’d had, rather than seeing him with another girl. Clearly it had only been in her head, regardless of what (drunk) Sarah had had to say that night in New Orleans.

Sarah had tried talking to her about it, the first few days in Houston and then in Dallas too, but she’d faked ignorance over the situation. Instead she had changed the subject or dragged John B into the conversation so she wouldn’t have to say that she’d seen JJ and Sophie together and how that had made her feel. There’d been a moment in Colorado, the two girls still sitting round the fire pit after the boys had long since gone to bed, when Sarah had simply laid her head on her shoulder and whispered, “He misses you too. Just promise me you’ll at least think about talking to him about it.” And before Kie could even begin to form a response at the fact that Sarah somehow knew without her actually having said anything, she’d disappeared inside. From then on the blonde would catch her eye to give her a look or raise her eyebrows every time some sort of awkward interaction played out - her and JJ were still technically talking after all - and Kie knew then that the matter would never truly be forgotten.

She hadn’t made any promises to Sarah that night, but she had promised herself that that was the last time she would cry. Silent tears had slid down her face, alone and staring at the glow of the bonfire as it died down, her heart feeling bruised and battered. She wasn’t sure why it hurt so much, not when they hadn’t even been together in the first place. She had successfully distracted herself from that train of thought by counting down the days she had left before she headed off to Australia, when she could truly put all of this behind her.

A couple of days later, she’d claimed tiredness after their brief stop in Denver (for food and restrooms) and slightly longer stay in the Rocky Mountains National Park (mainly for John B and JJ to get rid of their excess energy in the midst of their journey to Yellowstone), which meant that Pope had stepped up as driver and JJ as navigator. She’d chosen to ignore how JJ’s face had fell when they’d all agreed to swap drivers in Denver and he’d elbowed her gently asking if she’d be his co-pilot. She’d smiled back briefly and said that actually she could do with a nap but maybe next time - only he seemed to have read her too well as next time never came. Her heart had sunk even further in her chest when he’d hopped right up next to Pope after the Rocky’s, not being able to decide how she felt about the situation (that you created, she reminded herself).

Now, she just feels sad. Sad and lonely when she scrolls through her camera roll and sees photos of mountains and trees and no people. She’d lost count of how many times she’d come across a lake or some other body of water on her hikes and wanted to point it out or laugh about it with JJ. Her heart had twisted in her chest each and every time and sure, she knows they’re technically still friends and she could do that anyway, but her dad always said that a clean break was the best break. She’d sent a couple of selfies to her parents, letting them know she was ok and claiming that the signal was terrible so that they wouldn’t ring and realise she’d mainly been by herself and miserable. She would have put money on them driving all the way cross country simply to take her back home again if they’d known what was going on and that would have been even worse than her current situation.

If she was being completely honest, all she was looking forward to for the rest of the journey was being able to be completely alone again once they reached their next destination. She’d grown tired of noticing John B frowning at her and Pope glancing between her and JJ when he thought she wasn’t looking, on top of Sarah’s knowing looks. Normally she would have confronted them on it, never one to sit in silence, but this time she couldn’t bring herself to address it out loud. Besides, what would she even say? ‘Oh by the way, we had an almost kiss but really we’re still friends, and nothing’s changed. Apparently it was all in my head anyway.’ Yeah, no thanks. Besides, it wasn’t like she was avoiding JJ… it was just that she was avoiding being alone with him. Yellowstone was looking to be another few days of wilderness therapy (if only her parents could hear her now) where she could scream and yell and do whatever else she felt like doing with no one else around.

It was ridiculous really, when she thought about it, this road trip was supposed to be fun, their one last hurrah all together and yet now she wants nothing more to get away from them. To hide away and forget everything that JJ had ever made her feel. She wants to stop feeling guilty too, knowing that she’s ruining it for the others. She’s noticed the awkward silences and the glances, but she’s made no effort to fill them and she hates that this is probably what they’ll all remember. She pulls her (or possibly John B or JJ’s) hood up and over her face and settles back against the window, reminiscent of Pope on their first few journeys, pretending she’s asleep so she doesn’t have to deal with any of the other Pogues for the time being. There’s silence for a while, something she knows from experience will never last.

“Is she asleep?” John B asks, the first one to break it, from the other side of Sarah on the back seat.

“Yeah, I think so.” Kie feels rather than sees Sarah lean closer, deepening her breathing slightly the way she has a million times around her parents when she’d wanted them to leave her alone, “Sounds like it anyway… Kie? Kie?”

“Shhh.” John B hisses, stopping Sarah, “I don’t want to wake her.” There’s a slight pause that follows before, “JJ, what did you do?”

She heads JJ splutter, the movement of springs indicating that he’s turned himself round in the passenger seat. “What the fuck?”

“You’ve both been acting super fucking weird since New Orleans and it’s starting to get real annoying. This was your idea, our last great adventure before we all split up or whatever, so you need to fix whatever the fuck you did so we can enjoy our last few weeks together.”

“Fuck you, John B. I didn’t do anything, at least I don’t think I did…” He trails off and she would have smiled at JJ being lost for words if she wasn’t too busy holding her breath, waiting to see what he would say next.

She hears Sarah sigh quietly then swallow before she speaks, “I don’t think that JJ necessarily did anything wrong exactly—”

“What?” John B sounds offended, “But I definitely didn’t do anything and she’s been mostly fine with me and Pope.”

“Yeah, apart from the whole going off by herself thing,” the other boy agrees, “although she’s not being weird with JJ, she’s just being, I dunno, distant. Like she doesn’t want to talk to him exactly.”

“You think I haven’t noticed that?” She hates the pain that she hears in JJ’s voice, can almost see him running his hands through his hair in frustration, “Like I said, If I knew what I did or how to fix the whole situation I’d do it… like right now.”

“I think if you just—“ Her foot twitches slightly to poke Sarah in the thigh and she stretches, letting her friends know she’s awake before anyone else can say anything that might jeopardise the slightest bit of control she has over the situation. She pushes her hood back and glances round, Sarah’s sheepish look immediately telling her that the blonde knew she wasn’t asleep in the first place and that she’d heard every word.

“Are we there yet?” She asks, pointedly ignoring JJ and John B’s eyes on her and directing her question to Pope in the driver’s seat.

“Not long left.” He coughs nervously, like he knows they were just caught talking about her, “it’s another couple hours to Yellowstone but I’m going to pull in here because I don’t know about the rest of you but I really need to pee.”

There’s silence in the Twinkie as Pope drives into the next rest stop and parks, the others jumping out not long after. Kiara heads straight inside, half because she needs caffeine and half because she needs space from the van and the people within it.

“Hi.” She greets the boy behind the counter and asks if there’s a coffee machine she can use. He indicates the far end of the store so she smiles and thanks him, turning and walking to where he’d pointed before rummaging in her backpack to see what spare change she can scrounge up for a cup of coffee.

“Kie.” She startles at the voice behind her but doesn’t turn, just continues counting out the coins and pushes the necessary buttons for her order.

“Hey JJ,” She replies, fully aware that this is the first time they’d been alone together since New Orleans, “do you need coffee too?”

“Kie, c’mon, please. You don’t have to look at me but you can least tell me what the fuck is going on. Did I— did I do something?”

She does turn to face him then.

“I honestly don’t know what you mean.” She’s going for innocence and hoping he doesn’t see right through her, “there’s nothing going on. I’m good — great even once I’ve had caffeine. Are you ok?”

She takes a sip of her drink as he frowns, his eyes tracking her movements. She prays to a God she’s not sure she believes in that he won’t be able to hear her heart that suddenly feels as though it’s beating out her chest. He sighs, realising that’s all he’s going to get from her, taking his hat off and brushing his hand through his hair before putting it back on his head. She can read him, has always been able to, and knows that the look on his face means he’s not pushing it because they’re in public.

“Yeah Kiara,” he bites out, the use of her full name letting her know he’s annoyed at her response. “I’m fine, great even once I’ve had caffeine.”

She nods and tries to smile, “I’ll leave you to it then.”

She’s nearly at the door before she hears him call her name again, “Kie?”

She half turns towards him and raises her eyebrows in question. 

“You know you can tell me anything right? Pogues for life?”

She nods at him again, this time she does manage a smile that even she knows looks sad, “I know JJ, Pogues for life.”

Chapter Text

It’s a week later that JJ decides he’s had enough. He can hold a grudge just as good as Kiara can (they’d even fought about it once in seventh grade which they’d both thought was hilarious but had made John B and Pope possibly the most annoyed he’d ever seen them) but this was ridiculous. He’d decided, after that weird conversation in the gas station, that if Kie wanted to fuck off all by herself then she was more than welcome to. He’d gotten back into the Twinkie, slamming the door behind him, and told everyone else to fuck off when they asked what had happened. He’d been pissed that they’d been in public and he couldn’t just tell her to get her head out of her ass and tell him what was wrong. Then he’d been annoyed at himself for being able to read her so well. He’d then decided, after an hour of forced small talk between Pope, Sarah and John B before they finally reached Yellowstone, that if she didn’t want to talk to him then he didn’t want to talk to her either.

But now it’s been seven days and, fuck, he misses her. Misses her even more now that they’re not talking at all. And misses her most of all because she’s his best friend and somehow, apparently, he loves her.

Fuck.

“So,” Sarah says, breaking him out of his thoughts as she slams her breakfast tray down opposite his, “I’ve signed us all up for volunteering today.”

“Really?” Pope groans from next to him, pushing his oatmeal mournfully around his plate, “Can I opt out of this?”

“Nope.” She pops the ‘p’ as she says it and looks so delighted with herself that JJ immediately frowns and suspects the worst. If there was one thing he knew for certain it was that Sarah Cameron could be a menace when she wanted to be.

(John B had once told him delightfully that that’s probably why JJ and Sarah got on so well. He’d made a comment directly after that suggesting that John B was therefore dating the girl version of his best friend that had ended up with them both trying to headlock each other and an exasperated Pope trying to separate them.)

“What did you do, Blondie?” He sighs, his eyes flicking away from Sarah only when Kie and John B make their way over to their table and sit themselves down on either side of her.

“Nothing.” She says, still looking delighted. “So glad we could all eat breakfast together this morning.”

He notices that Kie immediately looks suspicious too. “Sarah.”

“What? I’m just stating a fact. I’m really happy that everyone’s been enjoying themselves either on their own,” she pauses and glances at Kie pointedly, “or in their cabins,” this time she looks at Pope and then him, “but I think it’s time we did something together again or, at the very least, in pairs. Now, everyone shut up and eat your food. You’re going to need it.”

There’s a series of groans from around the table.

“I’ve asked if they could arrange a lunch for us to take with us today.” Sarah raises her voice and continues as though no one had spoken, “Pope and John B, you’ll be heading along the North Rim Trail with me, and Kie and JJ you’ll be heading to Fairy Falls. I’ve volunteered us all to pick up any trash.”

There’s silence for a moment before both him and Kie start talking at the same time.

“Fuck no. Why can’t I go with John B and Pope?”

“Sarah, you know I wanted to do North Rim! That’s not fair!”

He restrains himself from looking at Kie as he says it, but can see Pope shaking his head in disbelief at them from the corner of his eye.

Me too Pope , he thinks, me too.

“Nuh-uh.” Sarah stands, her tone of voice indicating that no argument from anyone was going to change her mind, “Sorry but I’ve already filled out the forms so that the guides know where each of us will be all day. We’ll see y’all later.”

To their credit, John B mouths a quick sorry at him when Sarah pulls him up to follow her, and Pope lays what is supposed to be a comforting hand on his shoulder as he too gets up to follow them out. He sighs, hates that he feels this awkward around Kie as he stands and clears his throat.

“I guess we better get going too, huh?”

Kie nods, standing also but not meeting his eye, “I guess so.”

Inwardly he groans and curses the ground that Sarah Cameron walks on. Today was going to be a long day.

---

Two and a half hours later, JJ is cursing each and every friend he has (which, ok, is only like four but still) and the fact that the universe seems to have conspired to make them all simultaneously hate him.

“Fuck you all.” He mutters as he pushes through a set of bushes into a clearing and turns to check Kie is still following him.

They’d said no more than four words to each other since they’d started the hike when, on placing a foot down wrong on a tree stump, JJ had tripped and fell. Kie had rolled her eyes, used to his antics, and held out her hand to pull him up asking if he was ok. He’d replied with a simple fine which, actually if he thinks about it (which he had, a lot, because of all the fucking silence) is more than they’ve said to each other in the past week.

“And fuck this.” He says louder, dropping his rucksack to the ground and turning to face her properly. “I don’t fucking know what I did, Kiara, but it’s driving me insane, so if you could kindly let me know so that I can apologise and we can all move on from this fucking mess?”

She blinks once, looking surprised at suddenly being spoken to. He watches as his words sink in and her face transforms into the fighting Kie he knows and loves.

“Fuck off JJ, you didn’t do anything.” She rolls her eyes at him yet again, “Don’t presume that everything is about you. If you want to go around macking on all the girls in New Orleans then so be it!”

He swears his mouth drops open in shock, “Are you kidding me? Is that what all this is about?”

He can’t quite believe she’s been like this towards him and it’s all because of a girl when she’s never had a problem with it before. “I’m allowed to mack on whoever I fucking want. Last time I checked, we’re all adults.”

He sees her eyes flash before she opens her mouth to spit out, “Did you sleep with her?”

“What?” He laughs, a hollow sound that sounds so much like Luke he almost cringes. “That’s none of your fucking business.”

She crosses her arms over her chest and raises her eyebrows at him, “Well?”

There’s a pause as he weighs up what to say next.

“For fuck’s sake, Kie.” He drags his hand over his face, not understanding where she’s coming from. He suddenly feels bone weary and wants, more than anything, for this argument to end, “I’ve not been with anyone since way before this trip. You know that.”

“Yeah, right.” She scoffs.

“It’s true.” He says sharply, taking a step closer to her and knowing that what’s about to come out of his mouth next should stay in his head but blurts it anyway, “It’s because you’ve well and truly inserted yourself into my bruised and battered heart, Kiara Carrera.”

Said heart picks up speed after his confession of sorts and he watches as her eyes look up from where they’ve been darting around the clearing to meet his, surprise marring her features. He blinks once when he realises that he can’t read what she’s thinking, before she suddenly turns around and starts to head back the way they came.

“Don’t fucking walk away from me,” he’s shouting again now and he hates himself for it, “we need to fix this. I’m not letting this whole trip be ruined because you can’t get your head out of your ass and just tell me what’s wrong. Believe whatever else you want about me but I would never lie to you Kie, never.”

“Fuck you.” She’s crying, he realises as she turns back around, and his stomach sinks. His mind quickens, thinking over how to best fix the situation. “It’s only ever about this trip, isn’t it? What about what happens next, JJ? What about the future? What are you going to do?” Her voice quietens, “What am I going to do? You can’t just tell me something like that and then expect me to... expect me to...”

He watches as she falters and trails off, taking a step forward and then another until she’s within arms reach. His brain feels like it’s tangling itself in knots trying to make sense of the way she’s acting.

Surely he hadn’t been wrong in thinking that there was nothing going on between him and Kie? That the last year of just the two of them had purely been friendship on her side? Wrong in thinking that her wanting him to go to Australia was because she felt sorry for him and not because she actually wanted him there with her? Surely he hadn’t convinced himself that the way she looked at him, the way she’d looked on her birthday when he wanted nothing more than to kiss her, was also the same way she looked at Pope and John B because of his own fucking stupidity? He shakes his head and swallows hard. No. Kiara Carrera was made for more than what he and the OBX could give her. She deserved someone who could actually tell her how they felt and not be a complete idiot about it. Someone who wasn’t tied to their past, who didn’t have baggage and who could be there alongside her, supporting her every step of the way.

He takes a deep breath, reaching up to brush away the tears that are trailing down her cheeks, “Kiara. Kie. You’re going to do exactly what you’ve always planned to do,” he smiles sadly as she looks up at him, hating what he’s about to say next but knowing that it’s the right thing to do,“you’re going to go save the turtles and travel and do lots of other amazing things in Australia and then after that, who knows? Maybe you’ll go save the world.”

His eyes stay fixed on hers, brown meeting blue. Her hands come up to wrap around his wrists, holding his hands against her face, “And what about you, J?”

“I’m going to do exactly what I always planned to do too.” He shrugs and finally pulls away, accepting that he will never be good enough for her. “Smoke some beers, drink some weed and surf until my skin turns wrinkly. Maybe get a job to top up my share of the gold, keep a roof over my head and food in mine and Luke’s mouths.”

There’s silence as they look at each other. He knows that she wants to say more, is restraining herself from it by biting her bottom lip. Hates that he knows it will turn into another stupid argument over nothing.

“C’mon.” He says instead, picking up his bag from where he’d previously left it and slinging it onto his back once again, “Let’s go. The others will be wondering where we got to.”

--- 

It’s only later, much later, once they’ve made their way back down the trail in loaded silence, ate dinner with their friends (which involved a lot of questions about their day that they’d both replied to with one word answers until the other three had given up) and then somehow been roped in once again by Sarah to take part in the ‘Golden Oldies’ night at the lodge they’re staying at, that Kie approaches him.

“You’re not dancing.” It’s not a question, purely a statement of fact and he knows as such. His eyes stay trained in front of him as she comes to sit down in the booth next to him, “Why aren’t you dancing?“

She’s drunk, he realises when her words slur slightly together, which is probably the only reason why she’s over here talking to him.

“Not sure I can keep up with you all.” He says wryly, indicating in the direction of John B and Sarah who are engaged in a line dance with some elderly couples and Pope, who seems to be having a perfectly decent conversation with the elderly lady he’d somehow become a couple with. She bursts out laughing and he can’t help but smile, his jaw aching like it’s no longer used to the movement. She slides closer to him as he takes a sip of his beer and rests her head on his shoulder in a familiar move. His heart pangs in his chest at how well they fit together.

“Is that going to be us in the future?” He almost chokes at her words, swallowing his mouthful quickly.

“What? Slow dancing with someone sixty years our junior?”

She laughs again and he thinks to himself that if there were a noise he would want to bottle and take with him everywhere, it would be that.

“No,” He feels her sigh against him, suddenly serious again, and indicates to the left of Pope where a couple are slow dancing and wrapped up in their own world, “like that?”

“Kie…” He trails off, not knowing what to say but wishing more than anything that he could say yes with certainty. He turns his head and finds her already there, blinking up at him. He swallows when he notices her eyes flicker down to his lips and then back up again.  

“What are we doing, Jage?” She asks him, his eyes still focused on her as she looks back over to the dance floor then whispers so quietly he’s not sure he heard her correctly, “You’re in my heart too.”

“Kie.” He says again, sighing and placing his beer on the table as he stands up, “C’mon, you’re drunk. Let’s get you to bed.”

Chapter Text

Kie wakes up to sunlight streaming in through the windows and the start of a hangover banging in her skull. 

“Shit.” She groans, wondering if she can make it over to the shutters to close them without throwing up. Her stomach hasn’t felt like this in a long time, not since she was crossfaded the night she turned 15 and it was her first celebration after her Kook year back with the Pogues. She still blames JJ to this day. 

JJ. 

She suddenly realises that there’s an arm slung around her waist and that she’s not alone. She freezes. 

“Fuck.” She mumbles under her breath as she wakes up more to her surroundings. She’s not in her own cabin but she’d recognise the black boots by the door anywhere. She’s wearing a t-shirt and what seems like boy’s underwear but, once she’s managed to roll over slightly to face him, notices that, apart from a lack of shirt and shoes, JJ is still wearing what he wore last night – good. At least they hadn’t fucked up the situation between them any more than they already had.

“When you’ve finished realising that we didn’t actually fuck last night, can you quit moving so that I can sleep?”

She freezes again. 

“I’m not…” She clamps her hand over her mouth and is up and running to the bathroom, throwing up what feels like her entire stomach into the toilet bowl seconds later. 

“Jesus Christ.” She feels warm hands against her clammy neck and then her hair being pulled out her face as he settles behind her. “I didn’t think you were that bad last night,” JJ pauses and she can almost hear the grin, “trust you to get wasted when we’re hanging out with old people.”

She groans and brings a hand up to wipe her mouth, flushing the toilet and then sinking back against his chest where he’s sat behind her when she’s finished. Normally she’d be second guessing her every move after their fight yesterday but right now, she’s too exhausted to care. He brings one hand from the back of her neck to feel her forehead, clamping her own hand over it to get him to leave it there when he tries to move.  

It feels nice, sue her.

“Fuck off.” She manages to ground out, “You could have stopped me.”

“Ah this is that thing Pope is always on about… déjà vu! Hello sixteen year old Kiara, how you doin’?”

“Just so you know,” she stops for a minute as her stomach rolls violently, “I’m saving all my replies for when I’m feeling better.”

“Sure thing,” he laughs, “whatever you say, Kie.”

He moves then and she sort of hates him for it. “I can’t believe I’m saying this to you again, but c’mon, let’s get you back to bed.”

She groans and whines and tells him that she’d much rather sit by the toilet bowl just in case, but he’s having none of it. Her heart, her stupid, ridiculous heart that knows JJ has rejected her twice now, jumps in her chest at the way he’s taking care of her and she wants him - this gentle, kind boy that she knows and loves - like this with her forever.

She finally does as he asks and makes it back to his bed, curling herself into a comfortable position under the covers as JJ leaves and then reappears a moment later with a glass of water.

He shrugs as she takes it from him and sips twice before placing it on the table next to her, “I think it’s clean.”

“Thanks, JJ.” She smiles fondly at him for a second, watching as his hand comes up to rub the back of his neck at her scrutiny.

“Can we sleep now? I’m certain I’ve only had ten minutes shut eye since you moved around so much last night.”

“Fuck off.” She mumbles, eyes closed and already half asleep, “You could’ve slept on the floor.”

He says something about it being his cabin and his bed and why doesn’t she sleep on the floor as he slams the shutters closed, but she can’t be bothered to reply. Instead she sighs happily when he throws himself down on the bed and wraps his arm around her. Between that and the warmth of the covers, she’s asleep again in seconds.

---

She wakes up much later to a darkened room, light snoring in her ear and a very warm left side where JJ is currently curled around her. It takes her a second to work out what had woken her, frowning at the buzzing when it happens again a moment later.

Phone.

Her brain clicks into gear and she quickly reaches down into the pocket of her jeans next to the bed, trying very hard not to wake the sleeping boy next to her in the process.

“Sarah?” She greets after checking the caller ID (and also briefly wondering how she still has battery left), “Are you ok?”

“Am I ok? Am I ok?” Kie winces at how shrill her best friend sounds, “I’ve heard nothing from you since you disappeared last night! I thought you were dead - mauled by bears or something out there in the dark…” There’s a pause as a male voice in the background pipes up. “Also, John B says to tell JJ that he’s a fucker for not answering his phone.”

“I will as soon as he wakes up.”

Kie realises her mistake a split second before Sarah’s squeal hits her ear drum and she quickly pulls the phone away from her ear. “Holy shit. Ho-ly shit! You are together! John B! You owe me $15! No… we agreed on 15!“

“Sarah, Sarah… Sarah!” She finally manages to gain her attention back. “We’re not— it’s not—I don’t—”

“I’ll leave you to it.” Sarah cuts in, “But you need to tell me everything!” Then she rings off.

“Urgh.” Kie groans, face planting her pillow and wondering why she bothered answering her phone in the first place.

“As much as I enjoyed that whole conversation,” She stills as JJ’s amused voice pipes up from next to her, “next time could you give me a pre-warning that she’s going to squeal that loud?”

She rolls so that she’s facing him. Her brain, a lot more awake than it was five minutes ago, takes great delight in reminding her that he’s still half curled around her.

“Sorry,” She sighs, “but you know Sarah…”

“Yeah, I do. Blondie’s about as discrete as my bike back home.”

She laughs, “That’s true. Subtly has never been her strong point…” She trails off, clearing her throat before deciding to just go for it, “so, er, what did happen last night?” She raises her eyebrows at him, rising to the challenge.

He grins at her, but the warmth doesn’t quite meet his eyes. “Do you want the long story or the short story?”

She swallows, “Both?”

“The short story is that drunk Kie, delightful as she is, refused to go to sleep for a long time. The long story is that you refused to move from outside the steps of the lodge unless I carried you which, by the way, you thought was fucking hilarious.”

She’s not sure whether she should laugh or hide, as JJ continues.

“You then moaned the whole way to the cabins, hoisted on my back, that you didn’t want to go back to yours because you’d be all alone and then you actually started crying until I said that you could stay with me. When we finally managed to make it through the front door, you decided that you wanted to dance, which led to you deciding to strip because you were too hot. Not fun for me at all when I had to prevent you hitting your head every ten seconds! Then, when I finally got you into bed, you were too cold so grabbed my arm to put around you, muttering something about not telling me even though I was the one who was right here.”

“Oh God.” This time she turns and face plants the pillow again. “I’m so sorry J.”

“‘S cool.”

She turns slightly to face him, looking up to where his head lies on his own pillow. “No, it’s not. You should have just told me to fuck off or something.”

“And let you be mauled by those bears Sarah was on about? No thanks. Sarah herself would have fuckin’ skinned me alive if I’d let anything happen to you.”

“True.” She smiles at him again briefly before she sighs. “J, what are we doing? The— the fight… the not talking… I—“

“It’s fine Kie.” His eyes won’t meet hers. “‘S all good.”

“But it’s not.” She’s not sure why she’s doing this now, why she’s pushing him when he clearly doesn’t want to talk about it. A thought suddenly occurs to her. “Hey, I didn’t say anything whilst I was drunk, did I? Anything out of the ordinary? About… about you?” 

JJ frowns, “Like what?”

She’s unsure what to say next, biting her lip and noticing that JJ’s eyes follow the movement. The room suddenly feels a lot warmer than it did a second ago.

“Anything about…” She trails off as his eyes finally meet hers. 

“Kie?” He whispers and then she kisses him - or he kisses her. She’s not entirely sure who moves first.

It’s soft to begin with, a mere meeting of lips really, but when she pulls back slightly he shifts, grabbing her chin gently and pulling her back to him. It’s harder this time, eyes closed and with a clash of teeth but somehow still perfect. Still so them. She moves for a better angle, her mouth opening for him, causing a groan to escape his throat which immediately pulls her back to reality. To realising where they are.

“Shit.” She brushes her hair behind her ear as she breaks away, trying to think of anything but the fact that JJ’s hands were running through it mere seconds ago. “We should probably—“

“Yeah.” He agrees, almost leaping out of the bed in his rush to get away from her. “Don’t wanna keep the others waiting.”

She nods, focusing on grabbing her clothes and disappearing into the bathroom, making sure to lock the door behind her. She turns to face herself in the mirror, focusing on her hair in disarray and her red, swollen lips. Her fingers comes up to touch them, eyes wide, as her brain replays a montage of what just happened.

Holy shit. Holy shit. And then - the voice of reason kicks in - where do they go from here?

---  

“KIARA!”

“Hey Sarah,” she says, eyes darting around to check where the boys are as she throws her backpack into the back of the Twinkie twenty minutes later, “could you maybe dial the volume down just a little?”

“You need to—“ Sarah trails off as she notices JJ appear from a cabin next to them, grabbing her arm and pulling her off to the side. Kie thinks to herself how strong her friend is before she realises Sarah is, in fact, still speaking to her.  “You need to tell me everything.” She hisses, “I have no clue what’s going on but you both look a lot happier than you did when you came back from the hike yesterday so I’m guessing something happened…”

Kie doesn’t immediately respond which earns her an eyebrow raise and a shake of the head.

“You know that boy is in love with you right?” Sarah says, smiling at what Kiara presumes is the complete and utter shock that’s taken over her own face. “Has been since before the day I met you probably.”

“That’s not true.” She’s quick to say, but her mind begins to play a loop of all the things JJ has done for her over the years; his eyes flickering to her to check she’s ok when she’s talking or dancing with some Touron at the Boneyard, helping her in and out the HMS Pogue, being the first to let her apologise and accept it when she turned up at the Chateau after her Kook year, stepping in between her and the Kooks the summer they went after the gold, all the time they’ve spent together recently and the fact that half of Kildare thinks they’re already together, the way he can read her so well, the fact he said she was in his heart…

She shakes her head at the last part, unsure exactly what to say but to Sarah that seems to confirm everything. 

“We kissed, ok?” Sarah lets out a squeal at her words but is immediately shushed. “And yes, it was great. Best kiss of my life probably but I— I’m going away and he doesn’t— won’t come with me so I don’t know what it means, if anything. Maybe I should just stay here? With him? I don’t want to leave.” The him goes unsaid. She sighs, “He told me that I was in his heart Sarah, whatever the fuck that means, but I don’t know if that’s enough. He just, he’s my friend. My best friend and I can’t, I won’t, fuck that up.”

“For fuck’s sake, Kie.” Sarah rolls her eyes and looks so annoyed for a second that Kiara almost laughs. “You two have been dancing around this thing for so long now, it’s ridiculous. You basically act like a couple already and ok, if he doesn’t go to Australia with you, he’ll still be here when you get back.”

“I know,” She nods, “but you need to convince him of that fact too.”

“No,” Sarah shakes her head, “you do. You need to show him that it’ll be worth it. He’s scared, just like you are, of fucking everything up. Although…” Kie groans at the look on her face, “that hasn’t stopped you from macking on each other, did it?”

“Sarah!” She spots John B and Pope approaching from behind the blonde girl, “Just… promise me you won’t say anything to the others yet. I need to figure it all out myself and then with JJ first.”

“Kie…”

“Please, promise me.”

To her credit, Sarah nods and looks her dead in the eyes, “Ok, I promise. But only for as long as this roadtrip lasts so you better sort your shit out before then.” She turns to head in the direction of the boys. “And this conversation isn’t over either!”

Kie nods before following her friend and hopping into the back of the Twinkie next to Pope. Next stop Salt Lake City and, she thinks, as she looks to where JJ is laughing in the driver’s seat at something John B had just said, five hours of figuring out exactly what she’s going to do next.