Work Text:
|The Association Of Dumb Names|
October 1st, 7:10 AM
slightly larger fucker: HAPPY HALLOWEEN MOTHERFUCKERS
Grammatically Correct Lemon: It’s October 1st.
origaymi: HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEEN
smol fucker: THIS IS HALLOWEEN EVERYONE MAKE A SCENE
the Sane One: HALLOWEEN
force of courage: HALLOWEEN
Better Than Any Of You: HALLOWEEN
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: HALLOWEEN
Grammatically Correct Lemon: Do you guys do anything for Halloween? Do you trick-or-treat or something?
origaymi: bitch we don’t have enough houses to trick-or-treat to
Grammatically Correct Lemon: Back home, we usually all just sat in a dorm and watched Addams Family Values together.
force of courage: i mean we usually do smth like that
the Sane One: we wear ridiculous costumes and bring candy and we all eat it while watching scary movies
Better Than Any Of You: it’s the best
shut up all of you: stop making me feel jealous of y’all
Better Than Any Of You: oh shit ellington im so sorry i almost forgot you can’t come since you’re in jail
shut up all of you: i mean
shut up all of you: ive been planning an escape for a while
shut up all of you: but if i get out i have to get back in quickly or risk another manhunt
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: ANOTHER manhunt??
shut up all of you: long story
shut up all of you: i was thinking maybe i’d do it for pride
shut up all of you: but pride’s already over and by next year i’ll probably already have been shipped off to the city on charges of i don’t even know what
Grammatically Correct Lemon: I believe they were charges of fraud and destruction of property.
shut up all of you: did i ask you snicket? no i did not
shut up all of you: so maybe i can sneak out for halloween and steal a costume or something
origaymi: ellington why
shut up all of you: i’m doing the time, might as well actually do the crime
Grammatically Correct Lemon: Ellington, that is not how that works.
shut up all of you: how do you know its not
shut up all of you: have YOU ever been arrested
October 13, 4:18 PM
smol fucker: happy friday the 13th!!!!!!!!
force of courage: squeak i don’t know how to tell u this but
Better Than Any Of You: squeak it’s TUESDAY wtf
smol fucker: :(
Better Than Any Of You: T U E S D A Y
force of courage: im gonna doe
smol fucker: doe
Better Than Any Of You: doe
shut up all of you: doe
Grammatically Correct Lemon: “doe” [sic]
origaymi: doe
the Sane One: doe
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: GET HER ASS
October 22, 7:12 PM
the Sane One: hey what are y’all doin rn
force of courage: working on my costume
Grammatically Correct Lemon: What is it? Could you tell us?
force of courage: no <3
origaymi: FUCK
force of courage: what is it?
origaymi: I CANT BELIEVE HALLOWEENS IN LIKE A WEEK AND WE HAVENT CHANGED THE CHAT NAME
( origaymi renamed The Association of Dumb Names to The Association of Spookyness )
origaymi: THERE MUCH BETTER
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: hey moxie
force of courage: what?
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: do you happen to have around 80 pink balloons
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: but not the normal kind the tubey kind
force of courage: like the kind people use for balloon animals?
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: YEAH LIKE THAT
force of courage: no i dont
Grammatically Correct Lemon: You could always just get them from Palloncino’s.
force of courage: lemony palloncinos closed last week
the Sane One: i always kind of saw it coming. how many people in stain’d are going to buy balloons?
Better Than Any Of You: at partial foods rn and they have them don’t worry kellar
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: oh thank fuck
October 31, 11:35 AM
the Sane One: everyone ready with their costumes?
shut up all of you: yeah
force of courage: yeah!
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: just finishing it rn
force of courage: dude what the hell
force of courage: why are you finishing your costume the day of
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: shut up im just bad at planning
origaymi: yeah im ready!
origaymi: i know we’re supposed to keep it a surprise until we get together but i just had to share
origaymi: [A picture of Ornette dressed up as Kermit the frog. She is drinking tea out of a glass. A sign that reads “but that’s none of my business” in Impact font hangs around her neck.]
Better Than Any Of You: what
Grammatically Correct Lemon: So, Ornette, you not only dressed up as a meme…
Grammatically Correct Lemon: You also dressed up as a dead meme?
origaymi: it’s alive in my HEART okay
the Sane One: nette are u going to bring that tea cup with u to my place?
origaymi: yep
slightly larger fucker: why
origaymi: because i can :P
October 31, 6:12 PM
the Sane One: larigt its time for halloween! everyone come on
force of courage: larigt
the Sane One: Stop
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: i might take a while
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: mox can you come help me with my costume
force of courage: sure im coming rn
shut up all of you: IM OUT
shut up all of you: SWEET FREEDOM
Better Than Any Of You: ell i completely forgot you were escaping for halloween
Better Than Any Of You: why didn’t you tell us when you started?
shut up all of you: well im SORRY i didn’t liveblog my ESCAPE FROM PRISON, CLEO
shut up all of you: bad news: at partial foods and they put up security cameras now
shut up all of you: can’t grab a costume and go
the Sane One: well, at least the inhumane society won’t be able to steal any more melons
Grammatically Correct Lemon: They’ll probably just drug Polly Partial (which they’ve already been doing), steal the melons, and then wipe the footage from the security cameras. They’re not amateurs.
shut up all of you: shut up debbie downer
( shut up all of you changed Grammatically Correct Lemon ’s nickname to debbie downer )
debbie downer: Under any other circumstances I’d tolerate this, but I’ve actually grown quite fond of my nickname.
( debbie downer changed their nickname to Grammatically Correct Lemon )
Grammatically Correct Lemon: I’m starting the trek to Hungry’s. Please don’t blow up the chat while I’m gone.
the Sane One: snicket it’s not a “”trek”” the lost arms is like a few feet away
shut up all of you: ok so no costume
shut up all of you: maybe i’ll be like those assholes that say they’re dressed up as themselves
shut up all of you: WAIT I HAVE A BETTER IDEA
shut up all of you: im gonna be a homicidal maniac
the Sane One: with fake blood and shit? I’m p sure I still have some pizza sauce
shut up all of you: no have none of you watched addams family 1991
the Sane One: ...no
shut up all of you: they look just like everyone else
origaymi: im here!!
Better Than Any Of You: wow… you really Did bring the glass of tea
origaymi: thats none of my business
force of courage: can’t believe ornette singlehandedly resurrected a dead meme
origaymi: oh you BETTER believe it
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: FUCK ONE OF THE BALLOONS POPPED
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: i was on my way but now ive gotta walk back home and put a new one
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: BY HOME I MEAN THE LIGHTHOUSE SORRY
slightly larger fucker: why the fuck were you walking from the lighthouse to hungry’s
slightly larger fucker: we’ll drop you
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: thanks
Grammatically Correct Lemon: I’m here!
origaymi: why did you feel the need to announce your presence via text
Grammatically Correct Lemon: It was so that Jake would let me into the room.
Better Than Any Of You: snicket
Better Than Any Of You: you’re not even wearing a costume
Grammatically Correct Lemon: This is my costume!
force of courage: so what are you then
Grammatically Correct Lemon: I’m a homicidal maniac!
shut up all of you: thEY LOOK JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE
Grammatically Correct Lemon: They look just like everyone else.
force of courage : shut up l&ell we know you’ve watched addams family
the Sane One: lemony, ellington already did “homicidal maniac”. go back to the lost arms and change.
Grammatically Correct Lemon: It’s… a group costume!
the Sane One: no its not stop lying
Grammatically Correct Lemon: Fine, I’m leaving.
Grammatically Correct Lemon: So, Moxie, what are you going as?
force of courage: a velociraptor
Grammatically Correct Lemon: No, actually.
force of courage: no im actually a velociraptor
force of courage: [A selfie of a disturbingly realistic velociraptor costume, with multicolored feathers taped on. If one looks closely, they can see Moxie’s eyes hiding behind translucent velociraptor eyes.]
Grammatically Correct Lemon: Why?
force of courage: why tf not
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: I HAVE ARRIVED THANKS PIP AND SQUEAK
shut up all of you: what the fuck are you
Better Than Any Of You: that is a lot of balloons
origaymi: let me immortalize kellar’s stupid-ass costume in this chat forever
Grammatically Correct Lemon: Bold of you to assume this chat will exist forever.
origaymi: shut up snicket it’s immortal. like this weird-ass friend group
origaymi: [A picture of Kellar. Long, pink balloons stick out from every part of him, making him look like a very spiky pink bush. A Nemo toy is nestled into his hair.]
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: im a sea anemone!
force of courage: a what
shut up all of you: wtf
origaymi: tf is that
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: …
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: does no one here know anything about marine life
Grammatically Correct Lemon: Oh, a sea anemone! What the clownfish lived in in Finding Nemo, right?
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: how did none of you know what a sea anemone is
the Sane One: shut up i know what a sea anemone is but im getting into m costume rn
Grammatically Correct Lemon: I can’t wait to see how the burrito costume looks!
the Sane One: lemony
the Sane One: how did you know im dressing up as a burrito
Grammatically Correct Lemon: I… may have snuck into Hungry’s to make myself breakfast and saw the half-finished costume draped across one of the booths.
the Sane One: i open up early why were you sneaking in
Grammatically Correct Lemon: It was around 4 in the morning. I was hungry.
the Sane One: dude i swear you have the weirdest sleep schedule i’ve ever seen
Better Than Any Of You: i’d argue i have a weirder sleep schedule
the Sane One: i love you cleo but now is not the time to argue which of us has the weirdest sleep schedule
the Sane One: also you look stunning
Better Than Any Of You: that’s an exaggeration. also why are you texting me we’re in the same room
the Sane One: it’s really not also im too stunned to speak so im texting
origaymi: dude i want whatever jake and cleo have
Grammatically Correct Lemon: I feel like throwing up a little, but me too.
Better Than Any Of You: for the record, i like how you used all that leftover aluminum foil from back when hungry’s used to do takeout
the Sane One: <3 <3 <3
Grammatically Correct Lemon: Enough with the love-fest, Jake. I’m back, and I am wearing a costume. Please let me in.
the Sane One: didn’t you say that “i’d never make fun of a man’s romantic life”
Grammatically Correct Lemon: You’re not exactly a man. You’re only 15.
the Sane One: only??? you’re twelve
Grammatically Correct Lemon: Don’t desert us children to go suffer through small talk with the adults.
force of courage : stop arguing about age WHY ARE YOU STILL WEARING YOUR NORMAL CLOTHES
origaymi: snicket are you KIDDING ME WHAT THE HELL
the Sane One: give him some slack at least he… took off his jacket
the Sane One: at least he put a small amount of effort in
force of courage: lemony ARE THOSE OLD COPIES OF THE STAIND LIGHTHOUSE I SWEAR GIVE THOSE TO ME RIGHT NOW
force of courage: IF THOSE GET STAINED OR TORN IM HITTING YOU WITH MY TYPEWRITER
Grammatically Correct Lemon: I’m a Newsie.
force of courage: what
Grammatically Correct Lemon: Come on, Moxie, a Newsie? From the Broadway musical Newsies?
force of courage: still not ringing a bell
Grammatically Correct Lemon: “We’ll all be out there, carrying the banner man to man”?
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: shut up snicket we already know you’re a theatre kid
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: kjhsasdfgh tho literally the first thing i thought when i first met you was “why does his hat look like the newsie hat”
Grammatically Correct Lemon: Kellar, you don’t get to insult me for being a theatre kid when you’re clearly one too.
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: no it’s not me! my
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: uh
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: my sister
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: she had this big newsies phase when i was like ten
Grammatically Correct Lemon: Oh.
Grammatically Correct Lemon: Well, then, I apologize for making you bring up an uncomfortable topic.
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: hey it’s ok don’t worry
force of courage: dude jake and cleo are so cute come look at them
origaymi: is that a couple costume
shut up all of you: most couples who do couple costumes are not valid but i will make an exception
the Sane One: it is! im dinner she’s dessert
Better Than Any Of You: im ice cream
Better Than Any Of You: cookies and cream ice cream specifically because 1. it slaps 2. im the last knight in staind-by-the-sea i might as well preserve the color scheme
slightly larger fucker: you like cookies and cream ice cream? what is wrong with you
the Sane One: pip! hi!
slightly larger fucker: squeak says that oreos are great but cookies and cream ice cream is not
Better Than Any Of You: pip are you sitting on squeak’s shoulders he’s like eight is that a good idea
slightly larger fucker: squeak says he’s fine
smol fucker: im not fine
origaymi: so let me get this straight
origaymi: or as straight as we can make it in such a gay gc
origaymi: pip and squeak dressed up as
origaymi: a really tall guy in a trenchcoat
slightly larger fucker: yep!
smol fucker: pip smacked his head on the doorframe approximately 6 times
slightly larger fucker: no i did not
smol fucker: YES YOU DID
the Sane One: shut up i got the candy
Grammatically Correct Lemon: Do you have Milky Way?
the Sane One: yes we have milky way. we also have starburst, snickers, twix, lollipops, hershey’s, and tootsie rolls because ellington apparently likes them
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: YOU LIKE TOOTSIE ROLLS THEYRE DISGUSTING
shut up all of you: wdym they’re great
force of courage: yeah kellar tootsie rolls slap
Grammatically Correct Lemon: Moxie, I can’t believe we have to stop being friends.
force of courage: do you not like tootsie rolls?
Grammatically Correct Lemon: They taste like sadness and someone’s terrible recreation of chocolate that they had made without having ever tasted it. Why would I like them?
force of courage: why do you have ridiculously strong opinions on every food ever
force of courage: like i don’t like honeydew melons either but i don’t shout it to the rooftops every morning
Better Than Any Of You: ok everyone shut the fuck up we’re getting the cd for the movie
shut up all of you: oooh is it coraline please be coraline
origaymi: please don’t be coraline that movie gave me nightmares
force of courage: i personally hope its hocus pocus
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: oh hocus pocus is SO GOOD
the Sane One: it’s the grinch. the 2018 film to be exact
force of courage: WHAT
origaymi: NO
shut up all of you: I BROKE OUT OF JAIL FOR THIS
Grammatically Correct Lemon: Jake, it’s October! It’s not time for the socially-enforced capitalist version of Christmas spirit yet!
Better Than Any Of You: jhgfdsdfghjhgghj
the Sane One: im kidding im kidding! we’re watching the nightmare before christmas
force of courage: oh HELL YEAH
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: shut up shut up it’s starting
force of courage: okok
force of courage: boys and girls of every age
shut up all of you: wouldn’t you like to see something strange
origaymi: come with us and you will see
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: i thought i said shut up
Better Than Any Of You: this our town of halloween
force of courage: you shut up kellar
the Sane One: tHIS IS HALLOWEEN
Grammatically Correct Lemon: This is Halloween!
shut up all of you: PUMPKINS SCREAM IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT
origaymi: PUMPKINS SCREAM IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT
I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR: THIS IS HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY MAKE A SCENE
Better Than Any Of You: TRICK OR TREAT
force of courage: TILL THE NEIGHBORS COME AND DIE OF FRIGHT
force of courage: WOOOOOOOOOO