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For all that they’ve finally won once and for all, the victory feels hollow.
Sure, they’ve managed to get everyone back: Eileen, Bobby, Stevie, Charlie and all the rest, hell even Becky Rosen apparently (and isn’t that a wild kick from the past), but not… not the reason Dean’s even there to be seeing it in the first place.
He’s watching everyone greet each other joyfully from a distance, not wanting to bring the mood down. ‘Cas deserves to see this,’ he thinks to himself. Cas’ teary, smiling face flashes through his mind. He curses himself for the umpteenth time.
There wasn’t enough time to say anything, to even begin grasping all that Cas was dropping on him, but he should’ve said something, any of the thousand things he’s bit back over the years.
He’s not too deep in his wallowing to not notice when Jack suddenly hunches over a few feet away, hands to his head. They’re both far enough away from the small crowd that Dean’s the only one who’s noticed Jack’s reaction.
Dean starts scanning the crowd for Sam and Eileen as he hurries over to Jack. Amara said that she’d fixed Jack, and they’d believed her, so what was wrong now?
“Kid?” Dean says warily. When he reaches out for him, Jack stiffens up at the touch. “Talk to me. What’s wrong?”
Jack doesn’t respond. Still holding on tight to Jack’s shoulder, he searches the crowd more frantically. Just as he finally finds Sam, his brother notices him and the panicked expression on his face and starts making his way through the crowd.
Jack gasps and straightens up suddenly.
“Hey,” Dean says, moving to face him. “You okay? What was that?”
Jack ignores him, looking around for something or someone.
“Jack-”
Jack brightens up with a grin. “Cas! It worked!”
There’s a ringing in his head as he hears those words slip out of Jack’s mouth. He can’t have heard that right. There’s no way he heard that right. But then he catches sight of Sam again, looking in the same direction Jack’s grinning at and faltering, shock and surprise clear on his face.
So he turns too, half-expecting to be woken up from the dream he’s clearly in the middle of. His eyes land on Cas and he doesn’t wake up.
He makes his way to Cas on unsteady legs, not even looking at anything else except Cas’ face. If this is a dream, he’s holding onto the sight of that face till the very last second.
Cas is watching him right back, expression almost nervous as Dean stops in front of him. He doesn’t move when Dean reaches out and hesitantly grabs his shoulder.
Dean watches his hand make contact, feels the firm, familiar curve of it under his palm. A shaky breath escapes him as his eyes dart back to Cas’.
Whatever face he’s making has Cas smiling back, that little happy one that’s a punch to Dean’s heart. There’s love in that look now that Dean knows what to look for. He’s not sure how he’s missed it all this time.
“Hello, De-”
He’s cut off as Dean drags him into a hug, face pressed tightly into his shoulder, inhaling his familiar scent.
“You asshole,” Dean says wetly, only then realizing the tears dripping from his eyes and making damp patches on the trenchcoat. Cas’ arms come up and hold him back, gentle and warm.
“You actual asshole.” Dean sniffs, trying to rein himself in, before pulling back just enough to glare at Cas. “Don’t even think about trying to pull that shit again or I’ll kill you myself.”
Cas’ smile turns slightly apologetic but he doesn’t make any move to agree to Dean’s threat. Dean scowls at him before dropping his head back onto his shoulder, muttering, “And who told you I’m something you can’t have?”
Cas, who’d hardly moved after Dean had yanked him into a hug, goes still enough that he might as well be hugging a statue. “Dean…?” He says, uncertain.
Studiously ignoring the jackrabbit pace of his heart, he looks back up and meets Cas’ eyes, watching them widen as he leans in. He feels the press of Cas' eternally chapped lips and the shocked little exhale before he responds; it’s everything and nothing like Dean's imagined because it’s real.
“That clear enough for ya?” He asks, pulling back.
Cas’ smile widens, eyes practically sparkling. “Perfectly.”