Work Text:
Heaven was new. No more Empty. No more Purgatory. No more isolation.
Monsters, angels, and humans all went where they belonged based on who they were on Earth because, as Jack knew well, no one was born evil or good, they had to make their own choices. To perfect his vision, he even began working with Rowena to revise hell and make it a place of rehabilitation and second chances. No more torture, just cleansing souls and sending them back to Earth to try again.
When the walls of heaven came down, it was as if everyone had woken from a long dream or a coma. Families and friends were reunited, and the world suddenly grew so much bigger, spanning far from their doorsteps into an infinity of possibility. People were free to live again and to be with all of their loved ones.
In many ways it was another life, but a better one. The best kind of retirement.
After a long talk catching up on the bridge, Sam and Dean drove back to town and gathered their friends and family together, everyone they could find, and had a massive dinner in the bunker. They shared stories and goals, laughed over old jokes, played games, and just enjoyed each other’s company. The brothers hadn’t even realized just how big their family had gotten until they saw them all squeezed together around the table- old friends and new meeting for the first time, but chatting as if they’d known each other forever.
It felt almost perfect. But despite everything, there were still a few faces missing. One in particular kept tugging at Dean’s chest whenever he started to get comfortable. No matter how much he drank or tried to distract himself with the people around him, every now and then that hallow little ache would pull him away from it all. Unconsciously, in those moments, his eyes would wander to the door, lingering and waiting- growing more hopeless with each passing minute.
Castiel had to know they were there. He would come wouldn’t he? Maybe he’d just walk in like nothing had happened, probably carrying a pizza with Jack close behind him. The image warmed him momentarily, but the cold reality was that Cas never showed up.
Towards the end of the night, when people started to head home, Charlie took a seat next to Dean, her eyes lulled half shut from the alcohol, “So, where’s the hunky angel?”
Dean shrugged, “Beats me. Figured he woulda shown up by now.” The fact that he hadn’t could only mean one thing as far as Dean was concerned. Cas wasn’t coming. Either he couldn’t or didn’t want to.
I love you.
Dean’s grip on his beer tightened.
“He has been pretty busy rebuilding heaven,” Kevin mumbled, his head resting on his arms with his face planted against the table.
“You’re still awake?” Dean asked with a laugh and Kevin pulled his face up just enough to glare at him, “Hey, I’m Kevin freaking Solo,” he slurred indignantly, “Future first Asian-American president of Heaven. You bet your ass I’m awake,” he hiccupped and pointed somewhere in the generally vicinity of Dean and Charlie, “I may not be seeing straight, but I am definitely awake,” he planted his finger against the table in emphasis, only to have it slide haphazardly.
“You gonna need help getting home?” Charlie offered.
“Huh? Nah, I’ll go in the morning,” he hiccupped again, “Pretty sure my room’s still in here somewhere. Just need to…sit a little bit first.” Kevin’s voice was muffled as he nestled his face back against his arms.
“We’re heading out baby, you should come by tomorrow,” Mary said as she came up and kissed the top of Dean’s head.
“Sure thing, mom.”
“Stay outta trouble, son,” John teased, and Dean waved him off, “Yeah, yeah.”
“You still up for poker tomorrow night, Bobby?” John asked, clutching his friend’s shoulder and giving it a friendly shake.
“Not if you’re just gonna cheat.”
“I never cheated.”
“Yeah, those aces just magically appeared,” Ellen added with a laugh.
Their voices dimmed as the door shut behind them. Dean glanced over to where Sam was sitting with his wife. She had shown up just before desert and they’d been talking in hushed voices ever since- catching up on missed stories and making plans. Dean watched the way their hands held firm together until Charlie heaved a heavy sigh catching his attention.
“You can just…pray to him, you know?”
“Yeah, I know…just…thought he’d be here, you know?”
“Waiting for you?”
Dean shrugged and downed his beer, “Before he…died…he told me he loved me.”
Charlie’s eyes lit up and she smacked Dean’s arm on reflex, “Really? About time. You know, I always thought it would be you that would say it first. Go figure.”
“Of course, you knew.”
“Dean, everybody knew. Well, everybody but you two. It was hilarious at first. Then sad. Then really annoying actually. So, why don’t you get your sorry ass upstairs where it’s not full of passed out drunks and go pray to Cas.”
There had to be a reason Cas wasn’t here already. Maybe time in the Empty was weird too. What if he’d been stuck in there for centuries and regretted what he’d said? What if in his socially awkward angel-weirdness he hadn’t even meant what he said the way Dean had taken it? Or what if he was just too happy working on rebuilding heaven with Jack to be bothered for a visit? “Charlie, I…what if he doesn’t want to see me?”
“Are you being serious right now? Look around you, Dean. This whole new heaven thing? All of it, it’s you. Bringing angels and monsters and people together, breaking down walls? Do you really not see where that came from? He loves you, of course he wants to see you.” When Dean didn’t respond she rolled her eyes, “Dean Winchester, you march your butt upstairs and pray to him before I start praying to him myself!”
Charlie grabbed Dean’s shoulder and hauled him out of his chair and pushed him towards the hallway. “Go on! No more Mr. Sad sack. Go talk to him!”
Dean sighed and nodded in defeat before heading towards his room- taking more than a few detours and passing room after room of his friends, most of which were asleep. However, he did find Ash, Meg, Jo, Benny, and Andrea in his cave watching Star Wars. They were right at the part where Padme begged Anakin to run away with her and leave all the darkness behind, but Anakin was too far gone. He watched quietly from the doorway as Meg booed and threw popcorn at the screen and Ash shotgunned a beer, splashing half of it on Jo who was sharing one of the large armchairs with him.
“Dammit, Ash!” she brushed the beer from her arms, leaving sticky trails as she did so.
Ash burped his apology and grabbed a can from a cooler by his feet, “For the lovely lady?”
Jo rolled her eyes and took it, stabbing a hole in the bottom with a pocketknife and chugging it down. Ash cheered as she handed him the empty can with a teasingly arrogant look. “Not a drop spilled. Next?”
“Ohhh I think we got a challenge, anyone else in? Benny? Meg? Winner take all!”
“Winner takes all of what? Dean’s shitty DVD collection?” Meg asked.
“Hey!” Dean shouted from the doorway.
“Deano!”
“Hey, brother! Come join us.”
“It’s time we turn this party up!”
Dean shook his head, “Later. I uh, got something I gotta do. You guys have fun and don’t ruin my cave!” He heard them laugh as he walked away, and soon he was back in the oppressive silence of the hallway.
I love you.
For so long, he had truly believed that Cas, being an angel, could never love him like that. Hell, even if he could, he’d never believed he’d be worthy of it. But there at the end, Dean had finally been proud of his life. He had helped a lot of people, stood up to monsters, demons, gods, anything and everything that came at him. He had fought through it all, but Cas had been right. It wasn’t because he was trained for it. It was out of love. For his family, his friends, and Cas. Hell, it was for the love of helping. Of saving people. He was more than a weapon. He knew that now. He deserved a fresh start, a chance to live his own way, and if Cas still loved him…
Dean closed the door to his room and leaned against it, looking up, even though he was already in heaven, “Cas, I gotta believe you can hear me. I uh, I need to talk to you, buddy. I know you’ve got all this work to do-“
“Hello, Dean.”
The sound of Cas’ voice lifted a weight from Dean he hadn’t even been aware he’d been carrying. “Hey, Cas.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there when you got here…I wasn’t sure you’d want to see me.”
“What? Hey, of course I do. Are you kidding?”
Cas smiled, “I’m glad. Are you…enjoying your new home?”
Dean huffed uncomfortably and moved to sit on his bed, he knew this was going to be pulling teeth, “Yeah, it’s great. Look, Cas, sit down for a minute, will yah?”
Cas moved silently to sit beside him on the bed, leaving a clear space between them, “Dean, you don’t need to say anything. What I said, I meant it, but I know you don’t feel the same and that’s ok. We can just…be as we’ve always been. Nothing has to change.”
Dean shook his head and looked away, “Dammit, Cas, just, stop. You had your chance to say your piece, and now it’s my turn, alright?”
Cas folded his hands in his lap and gave a small nod, straightening himself as though expecting a storm. Dean’s mind ran a mile a minute, and the more he looked at Cas the harder it got. He couldn’t help himself, he found himself retreating like he always did. Old habits die hard.
“Cas, you know I tried the whole apple pie life, and it didn’t really work for me. I’m happiest when I’m helping. When I’m fighting evil and protecting people. All this, it’s great. Having everyone together? This is everything heaven should be, and you bet your feathery ass I will absolutely soak it the hell up, but I know myself. I won’t be able to stay this way forever, just drinking beer and playing scrabble. It’s not me. So, I was thinking, maybe Jack could give me a job or something.”
“I’m sure Jack would be happy to find something for you. I’ll speak to him about it.”
“Thanks, but uh, there is one more part to this plan…that is all up to you, Cas.” Keep going, keep going, no turning around, you got this. Even if it all falls to shit, at least you’ll have told him. Come on!
“Yes, Dean?”
“You. I uh, I need you. With me.”
Castiel took a moment to consider his words, the confusion was clear in the budding lines between his brows, “I see. You mean you would like me to assist you with whatever task Jack gives you because Sam may not wish to accompany you? Dean you know I am always going to be here whenever you need-”
“Jesus fucking Christ, Cas, just come here,” Dean pulled Cas’ face close and kissed him hard.
When they parted, the lines between Cas’ brow deepened. He tilted his head with a thousand questions, scanning Dean’s face for answers and seemingly finding none. It was an old move he hadn’t seen in a while and it made Dean smile which only seemed to make Castiel more confused- if not slightly affronted.
Dean rolled his eyes and leaned closer, “I mean I want you with me, with me. I love you, Cas. I should have said it a long time ago.”
Cas smiled brightly this time, his eyes meeting Dean’s in a mix of overflowing wonderment and love, “We both should have.”
Dean chucked and rested his forehead against Castiel’s, “I told you we were a couple of dumbasses.”
“In this case…you may have a point.”
Dean took Cas’ hand in his own, squeezed it experimentally, and then pulled him in for another kiss.
It was finally time for a new life. Dean wasn’t sure what all was waiting for him, but for once he had everything he needed. He knew who he was, he had purpose, his family and friends were finally safe and happy, and beside him was someone who truly knew him and loved him unconditionally. Someone who would never leave him. Someone who would fight beside him and still be there for the quiet moments in between the explosions. Together, he knew they could do anything, and he was so ready for it.