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Chaos. A murky weight compressing him. Trapping him. Muffled shouts. Explosions. Silence. And then Tokoyami is sprawled on the grimy floor of a dimly lit bar, staring cautiously up at the villains who just terrorized his classmates.
Tokoyami was not informed that their mission was also an extraction. Dark Shadow writhes inside him, angry, upset, frightened. They are both fully aware that they’re outmatched. One slip up could cost Tokoyami his life.
Or worse.
Dark Shadow curls tighter inside him as shadowed memories of their family rise to the surface, torn between lashing out and cowering.
Someone crouches beside him, grabs his arm, and hoists him to his feet. “Apologies for the lack of warning,” the masked villain says. “But we had to keep up appearances. Excellent work disposing of Moonfish, by the way, that man was so uncouth. Unbefitting an organization such as ours.”
Tokoyami nods stiffly, trying to brush aside images of blood splattered ground, severed limbs, Shouji crying out in pain. That doesn’t matter now. It never should have mattered in the first place.
A scuffle draws Tokoyami’s attention. Bakugou is being manhandled by a few of the villains. He catches sight of Tokoyami, hesitating just long enough for a reptilian villain to slide restraints on him, rendering his hands immobile. He struggles against his bonds, veins and muscles straining to break free.
“They got you too, Bird Brain? Why the hell are you just standing there? You scared or something? Don’t worry, once I get free I’m gonna kill all these scummy villains.”
The villain gripping Tokoyami’s arm squeezes. A warning. A reminder.
“It will be easier if you comply,” Tokoyami says.
“It will be easier if you comply,” the man with the scarred face says on the day his parents are taken from him. His hand rests heavy on Tokoyami’s shoulder. “Your parents wanted this, but if you do as I say, I can spare you from their fate.”
“Comply?” Bakugou says incredulously. “Comply? Fuck complying. Who the hell do you think you are, anyway? What kind of shitty wannabe hero-”
Bakugou is cut off by the heavily scarred villain who’d set the forest on fire holding a rag to his face. He tries to wriggle away but within seconds he slumps forward, eyes closed.
“Ugh, finally,” the villain says, dragging Bakugou’s body into a chair and strapping him in. “That brat did not know how to shut up.” He glances at the other villains. “Maybe the hand creep was right and he does fit right in with you lot.”
Tokoyami feels even more alone now that Bakugou is eerily quiet and still. Which is absurd, because he’s always been alone. After his parents decided power was more important than family, after “power” turned into bodies ripped apart and pieced back together, after “family” turned into his nearly unrecognizable father nearly killing All Might on a school trip.
Dark Shadow protests.
Alright, mostly alone, Tokoyami corrects. But that doesn’t change the fact that he’s standing in a crowd of people who already know each other, and who know who he is, but he knows nothing of them.
One of the villains slinks over to him. Chills roll down Tokoyami’s spine and the feathers on his head bristle. There is one villain here he knows.
Shigaraki Tomura. Who had led an army of villains to attack his classmates at the USJ, and who almost killed Tsuyu and Aizawa-sensei. The one who’d sent Tokoyami’s mutated father after All Might. The one who’d been hand picked as All for One’s successor. His eyes are narrowed behind the hand covering his face, examining Tokoyami like one would a specimen under a microscope.
“Sensei said you’re loyal but I won’t trust you until you convince me.”
Was feeding you intel on U.A not enough? Tokoyami thinks bitterly. Was threats against my personhood not enough?
Out loud, Tokoyami says, “Understandable. I hope that I will be able to prove my worth.”
“You can begin by helping convince Bakugou to cooperate.”
Tokoyami hesitates. He’s only known Bakugou for a few months, but he knows “cooperate” isn’t in the boy’s vocabulary.
“I’ll do my best,” Tokoyami says, because what other choice does he have? He eliminated all freedom of choice when he cooperated, agreeing to enroll in UA and spy on the heroes for All for One so that he wouldn’t meet the same end as his parents.
Shigaraki nods, then turns his gaze toward Bakugou. “Our new party member is useless until he wakes up. I’ll update Sensei on our success. You guys figure out watch duty.”
And then he’s gone, and though Tokoyami is still surrounded by villains, he feels less unsteady without Shigaraki’s unnerving presence.
The others delegate the first watch to him, then disappear to various rooms in the bar to rest before their own watch shifts.
Smart thinking. Bakugou will remain unconscious for a while, which means if I had defected to the hero side I’d be unable to conspire with him.
Tokoyami settles onto a barstool, unable to take his eyes off Bakugou. Unable to decide if he wants Bakugou to comply or not. As if either of them have a say in the matter.
If fate decreed that he must be a villain, that he must fight for a better world by tearing the old one down, then so be it. Hopefully Bakugou will come to understand too.
Tokoyami is so lost in thought that he doesn’t notice someone sneaking up behind him until their fingers are running across his scalp. He flies off his perch and turns around. Toga cocks her head as if she’s waiting for him to make the next move.
“What do you want?” he asks warily.
“I like birds,” Toga says simply, climbing catlike onto the bar. “I wanted to touch your feathers! We’re friends so I thought it would be okay!”
Something in Tokoyami’s chest twists painfully. “Friends?”
Toga nods excitedly and swings her legs over the side of the bar, kicking them like an excited child. “You’re friends with Izuku and Ochako and Tsu and I love them so that makes us friends too!”
For a brief second, Tokoyami almost corrects her. Almost says, only her friends are allowed to call her Tsu. But that means he shouldn’t call her that either, and for some reason, that thought stings.
Asui, who approached him one day after class and bluntly said, “we’re kind of similar. Did you get bullied too?”
Uraraka, who never shied away from Dark Shadow, who treated them like the separate beings they were.
Midoriya, who asked him to join their cavalry battle team, confident that Tokoyami had something of worth to offer.
Were they his friends? Or were they merely puppets that he manipulated for his own selfish desires?
In his distraction, Dark Shadow manages to pull away from him. Toga gasps, leaping off the counter and approaching them.
“Is that your quirk? It’s so cute!”
“Can you be my friend, too?” Dark Shadow asks before Tokoyami can get a word in otherwise.
“Can I stab you?”
“No!” Tokoyami says firmly.
Toga and Dark Shadow both pout, reminding him of the girls in his class. He pushes the memories away when something stirs in the corner of his vision.
“Oh!” Toga exclaims. “He’s waking up! I have to go get Tomura-kun! Stay here, Fumi-kun!”
Toga scampers away.
“I like her,” Dark Shadow says. “She seems nice.”
“You just like pretty things,” Tokoyami shoots back, rolling his eyes and retaking his seat at the bar as he watches Bakugou come to awareness. Dark Shadow hums happily, retreating back into Tokoyami and leaving him alone with the echo of Toga’s Fumi-kun wrapped tight around his heart.
Bakugou blinks blearily, groans, tries to move, then tenses when he realizes he can’t. His gaze swivels around the room before settling on Tokoyami.
“Feather Head? How’d you get free?” He rattles in his bonds, to no avail. “Break me out too! There’s a few villain skulls I’d like to smash in!”
Tokoyami says nothing.
“Hey, did you hear me? What the fuck do you think you’re - ” Bakugou freezes.
Tokoyami’s heart sinks as he watches Bakugou realize. Confusion turns to anger so palpable it nearly makes Tokoyami turn away in despair. It’s painfully clear that Bakugou will never join the villains.
“You sold us out.”
There’s no point in lying, so he doesn’t. He nods.
Bakugou is breathing heavily. “I’m gonna...I’m…” Bakugou snarls. “I’m gonna kill you.”
Toga is back at Tokoyami’s side before he can respond. “I’ll take it from here, Fumi-kun! You go get some rest, ‘kay?”
Tokoyami nods, eager to get away from Bakugou’s rage. In his haste, he bumps into someone in the hallway.
“Apologies,” he says reflexively. He looks up into the eyes of the flame villain. The scars are more menacing and more tragic up close.
“Watch where you’re going, bird boy.”
“My name is Tokoyami.”
“Thought it was Tsukuyomi,” the villain sneers.
Tokoyami lurches back at the sound of his hero name. “How…”
The villain laughs. “Saw you on TV, then heard you were interning for the number three. Pretty lofty dreams for someone who still hasn’t left the nest.”
The number three. Hawks. They’d only spent a brief time together, but he’d called Tokoyami “Bird Bro.” Like they were connected. Like they were equals. What would Hawks say now that his intern was consorting with villains? Would Tokoyami be taken down with the same efficient, clinical detachment Hawks reserved for villains, or would the betrayal be personal enough to shake Hawks’ confidence?
And why does he care? Isn’t Hawks just another symptom of society’s disease?
“Fuck off, Dabi,” a voice from behind him says. The lizard-like villain approaches from the other end of the hall, coming to stand between Dabi and Tokoyami.
Dabi rolls his eyes. “Whatever,” he says dismissively, then walks away.
The other villain turns to Tokoyami. “Name’s Spinner.”
“Tokoyami.”
Spinner laughs. “I know. Don’t mind Dabi, by the way. He’s an asshole to everyone.”
Tokoyami relaxes slightly, and Spinner seems to catch on. He places a friendly hand on Tokoyami’s shoulder. “People like us need to stick together, yeah?”
“Yes,” Tokoyami says. Spinner smiles and Tokoyami tries not to be reminded of Shouji, who’d fought so hard to earn his spot at UA, and who risked his own life to try and rescue Tokoyami, not knowing it was a fruitless endeavor. Not knowing that Tokoyami was already an enemy.
“People like us,” Shouji tells him one afternoon, “Don’t have the luxury of fighting back. It’s all too easy to paint us as villains. People will look at us and judge us, but if we become heroes, maybe we can change their minds.”
The next day passes in a blur. Everyone is on edge, feeding off each other’s restlessness. Tokoyami is not allowed to leave the premises, though the others come and go. Only Shigaraki is a constant, alternating between meetings with his elusive Sensei and watching Tokoyami warily. Every so often he draws him into a conversation about how rotten society is, as if gauging Tokoyami’s devotion to the cause.
Tokoyami knows the world’s flaws all too well. Knows them by the uncomfortable weight of strangers staring at him, by whispers behind his back, by his elementary school teachers telling him that Dark Shadow frightens his classmates, by his family being so desperate for power in a world that had stripped them of it that they’d signed their lives over to All for One.
At UA, Tokoyami had tasted the power that had been out of reach to his family. He learned what it was to be liked, to not be feared, to be seen as worthy of greatness. For a few glorious months, he’d known what life could be like, if only he’d been dealt a winning hand. If only society didn’t judge people on things they could not control. If only he’d been allowed to choose heroism freely instead of fighting for a spot he’d always known was a lie.
Tokoyami spends his time avoiding Bakugou and wondering what he’s supposed to do now that he can no longer act as the League’s inside man. He has yet to speak with All for One, yet to be given a new assignment, and he feels lost in the dark with no guiding light. They’d extracted him in case UA had caught onto the traitor in their midst, and because the longer he spent surrounded by heroes, the more conflicted he would become.
He would have been angry at their lack of trust in him, if only they weren’t right.
It should be a relief. That he no longer has to pretend, no longer has to lie. That he no longer has to worry about growing closer to his classmates and feeling like he belongs beside them.
Instead of relief it feels like he’s being torn apart.
When he joins Twice at the bar for his next shift of guard duty and faces down Bakugou’s hatred, regret and guilt roil inside him, threatening to spill over.
And when Twice asks about Dark Shadow and how Tokoyami copes with the extra voice in his skull, he feels conflicted. Because how is it possible that Twice is both a ruthless villain and also the most open and loving soul he has ever encountered? How can Tokoyami feel sympathy for both his classmate, and the people who kidnapped him?
“You’re thinking awfully hard over there, Feathers.”
Tokoyami blinks in surprise at Bakugou’s gravelly voice. Bakugou had been quiet for a while. The silence cuts deeper than any words his classmate could have thrown at him, and Bakugou knows it.
Tokoyami looks around the room. Besides Bakugou, still strapped tight to the chair and eying him with curious intensity, it is empty. “Where’s Twice?”
“You mean the one who can’t seem to make up his damn mind about anything? He ran off to the bathroom. It’s just you and me now.”
Tokoyami sighs in relief, leaning against the bar counter. Attempting to converse with Bakugou with Twice in the room would have been an ordeal.
“So did the villains bribe you to betray us or have you always been birdshit?”
With the dim lighting and the instability of his emotions, Dark Shadow nearly breaks free, nearly tears into Bakugou, nearly -
Tokoyami takes a deep breath. He’s trying to get a rise out of us. Remain calm.
Something glints in Bakugou’s eyes, and Tokoyami is reminded of the fact that Bakugou is one of the top students in their class. He purposely waited for Twice to leave before speaking. All that time he was silent, he wasn’t just seething with rage, he was thinking.
“Did I strike a nerve? Don’t like me calling you out like the villain you are?”
“I know what I am,” Tokoyami replies evenly. But in truth, he’s never been sure what he is. Is he one person or two? Is he a victim or a willing participant? Is he doomed or saved?
“You’re dead, is what you are,” Bakugou growls. “I swear if I wasn’t stuck in this chair you’d be fried chicken ten times over, traitor. I can’t wait to beat you to a pulp.”
“I don’t want to fight you. I want you to join us. The League. We-”
“Then why’d you fight so hard at the sports festival?” Bakugou interrupts.
Tokoyami stares, confused by the seemingly unrelated question. “What?”
“I know you don't have ears but I didn't think you were deaf. I fought against you, don’t play dumber than you are. Why did you try so hard to prove you could be a hero if you were just going to turn around and betray us?”
“I…” Tokoyami hesitates. Why does Bakugou even care? Tokoyami isn’t foolish enough to believe Bakugou is hurt by the betrayal.
Or is he?
Why did we fight so hard at the sports festival? Tokoyami asks Dark Shadow.
You know why, Dark Shadow responds.
Bakugou is eyeing him expectantly. Tokoyami reconsiders the question he’s been avoiding the last two days: Does he want Bakugou to join the villains?
If Bakugou doesn’t comply, the League will find some other use for him. There’d be no greater blow to UA than to see one of their own be twisted into the form of a monster. Either Bakugou will join the League or he will die. Or he will die and still serve the League anyway even after his death; his body and quirk ripped apart and pieced back together until all that is left is his explosive rage.
Tokoyami is no longer a hero in training, but he desperately wants to save Bakugou from that fate. Even though that would mean betraying the League and turning his back on people who had accepted and understood him. Even though he already turned his back on people who had accepted and understood him.
The heroes will never take him back. The villains won’t stand for betrayal.
“I am sorry,” he says, looking down at the floor. “I wish…”
I wish there weren’t two sides to this fight. I wish I didn’t have to pick between them. I wish I couldn’t see both sides so clearly. I wish our classmates had seen through my lies before it got this far. I wish the villains were easier to hate. I wish -
“If you want something you need to take it,” Bakugou says angrily. “Don’t let anything stand in your way. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t have it. No half-assing things. Don’t lay down and take the beating, fight back. You want to be a hero? Be one. And be the best. ”
Tokoyami looks up sharply, eyes wide. Bakugou grins in satisfaction. “Now get me out of these chains.”
Tokoyami complies.