Chapter Text
Dean felt the cold metal slide easily into his back. He didn’t move, barely breathed, for fear of it being his last. He wasn’t much of a doctor, but he was pretty sure this is what a punctured lung felt like. He couldn’t quite catch his breath.
Sam had walked over, tried to pull him off. He said no. If he moves now, he won’t get to say what he needs to say. It’s too late. He can already feel a cold numbness crawling up his legs.
His mouth was moving and words were coming out. One at a time, the great Final Speech he’d always thought he’d give one of these days. Who knew it would be so soon after everything .
His mind raced, still coming to terms with killing God, losing Jack, and…
Oh, Cas…
He’d never gotten the chance to find a way into the Empty. He told himself that he’d do it later, that he just needed a moment to rest and bask in his true free will. The truth was that he was afraid. The empty wasn’t an easy place to get into, and he was afraid of losing himself over not finding a way to get Cas back. He didn’t let himself think about it, of course, because he would end up spiraling. If he lost himself in that hole, then he would never climb back out. So he ate pie instead, hunted monsters, and apparently hung from a rusty nail in a barn.
Sam had started crying. Dean wasn’t sure when that had started thanks to his fading vision. He was trying to focus, trying to articulate himself in one direction while his mind followed a different path entirely. In between hitching breaths and broken words, he made a little prayer.
Cas, I don’t know if you can hear me, but I’m going to try anyway.
He felt the rod pushing against the inside of his chest.
It looks like this is it for me. Didn’t last too long, huh? So much for that open road, I guess.
Sam was telling him to hold on, but the cold had already grabbed his fingers.
There’s something I gotta tell you, Cas, before I go.
His breath hitched as he felt blood rise in his throat.
What you said to me in the dungeon, before you were… I hope you can hear me, Cas.
Sam’s hand was pressed against his own, telling him to rest. Damn, a nap sounded amazing right now, but he had to finish something first.
You have always been there for me, but I was never there when you needed me, and I’m so fucking sorry Cas. I should’ve found you before this. I should’ve told you then and there.
He felt his grip fading as a tear rolled down his cheek.
Cas, I love you too. Good bye.
Just as Dean felt himself slipping into nothingness, a crack of thunder shook the wooden structure. Despite his blurring vision, Dean’s eyes snapped open. He focused on Sam’s face, fear and pain evident as his eyes scanned the room. The barn doors blew open, wood splintering across the floor. Dean looked out of the corner of his eye, but his tunneling vision prevented him from properly seeing whatever was walking towards them. Sparks suddenly rained down as bulb after bulb blew over head. Sam took a few steps back, his mouth saying something that Dean couldn’t hear. The buzzing in his ears was oppressive, and all he wanted was to go to sleep. He couldn’t, of course, because Sam was still in danger.
Dean wasn’t stupid. He remembered the last time he witnessed an over-the-top entrance like this. This angelic douchebag had the nerve to walk in here just like Cas had more than a decade ago. To say Dean was pissed wouldn’t cover the half of it. He mustered all of his dwindling strength, trying to focus on the figure that was skirting the edges of his fading vision, and yelled out the best he could.
“Hey, Dickless, ya got a problem?”
He may not be able to do much, but Dean was absolutely going to be a distraction for Sam. He was dying anyway, so Sam might as well get a chance to run. His blurring vision found Sam again, and his brother was smiling. He looked relieved, almost, as he said something to the intruder who was still just out of sight.
Before he could even question his brother’s sudden mood shift, his vision filled with an ocean of blue. He felt a pressure on his chest as warmth and comfort flooded his entire being. Then he was coming off of the nail, steadily being pulled forward into someone’s arms. A hand found the hole in his back, warmth erupting there and coursing through his entire being as he felt it heal. Slowly, he brought his hands to the back of the being holding him. He found a familiar fabric. He blinked his vision clear and saw that it was the back of a person in a tan trench coat. The ringing in his ears finally quieted as the warmth dispersed throughout his body, slowly fading.
“Hello, Dean,” a gravelly voice whispered in his ear.
“Cas,” he breathed back, barely believing that this was happening. He pulled himself away, not entirely wanting to but instead needing to. He had to see him.
And there he was. Dark hair, twisted tie, and eyes that were the most beautiful blue he’d ever seen. Castiel was here . Castiel was alive!
Dean, barely able to hold himself back, dove back into the angel’s embrace. “Cas, man, I thought you were…” He didn’t want to finish the thought.
“With Jack being the new God, he was able to raise me from the Empty. They’d come to an understanding, I believe. He would repair the Empty’s realm in exchange for angels.”
It took all of Dean’s willpower to not laugh then and there. Their kid had done good.
“Say, Cas,” Dean pulled away, looking back into the angel’s eyes. “How’d you get down here so fast? Were you tailing us?”
“I was actually in Heaven, working on the new changes, when I heard your prayer." A small smile graced his lips as Dean's eyes widened. "In addition to reviving many of us, Jack gave us our wings back. I flew down here as quick as I could.”
Dean was blushing now. Cas had heard everything ? That he hadn’t expected. Then again, he also didn’t expect to be alive right now. “Then you know?”
“Yes, Dean, and you know how I feel.”
In that case… Dean leaned forward, easily pressing his lips to Cas’.
Somewhere he thought he heard Sam yell, “Fucking finally! ” Dean couldn’t worry about that now. He was here, kissing his angel, and finally free. Unquestionably free to do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted.
Whoever I wanted , he thought as he pulled away from Cas.
“Dean, that was--”
“Cas, hang on a minute. I got something I want-- need to say.” Just out of the corner of his eye, Dean saw Sam getting the two kids out of the barn. Even though it was obvious he had just been crying, Sam looked truly happy. Dean smiled to himself, trying to forget those few minutes he spent hanging.
“Cas, you are the most caring, selfless, loyal angel--being I know. You abandoned Heaven several times for me and Sam. You devoted your life, even when you were human, to trying to save this planet. And I, being the dumbass that I am, never thanked you enough for that. I may have changed you, but you let me see that I wasn’t just a killer. You are not just a soldier with a crack in your chassis. We can be anything we want to be. But, and this is the important part, we can be together . Castiel, angel of the lord, I love you! ”
Cas smiled, wide and bright and genuine. The last time Dean had seen him this happy, the Empty had ripped him away before Dean had any time to even process what he had heard.
Not this time. Not ever again.
Dean easily laced his fingers with Cas’. “So, after we get the kids somewhere safe, howzabout we head on home?”
“I would like that very much.”