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Obi-Wan sighed, as he looked for Anakin. When was he not looking for his incorrigible boy? He checked all the usual spots Anakin could be found at, but each time he hoped to find his padawan, his search turned up empty. His growing worry wasn’t helping, especially because the young one was so closed off in the force. Each futile attempt to find Anakin only reassured Obi-Wan’s worry that something was wrong. He tried to reach out into their bond best as he could, but as his search, the attempt was meaningless, Anakin had his shields sealed as tight as he possibly could. Obi-Wan was anxious but proud. But mostly anxious to find his padawan. Obi-Wan begged Anakin from their bond to let him in, to show him where he was, anything. There were very few times that Obi-Wan Kenobi, the famed Negotiator begged, but this was one of those times. Anakin seemed to acknowledge this fact, and almost revel in it, Obi-Wan couldn’t tell the exact feeling, but he was able to gather something.
Darkness, the smell of Obi-Wan, cold floor, quiet area.
It was puzzling, to say the least. Another fond sigh escaped his lips, what a truly peculiar padawan he had. He sat down in his room for a moment to think, when suddenly, his gaze landed on his tidy pile of books on the nightstand. His gaze lingered on the stack of books. He remembers going to the library with Anakin and picking out books with him, and oh how Anakin’s eyes lit up, and he couldn’t stop talking about the stories he loved, true the stories were for younger ones, but it didn’t matter to Anakin. That was a happy day and a beautiful memory. Anakin was so tired out from that day that when they got home, and finally sat down, Anakin fell asleep to Obi-Wan’s soft reading.
Then, it hit him. Of course. How could he be so stupid? Obi-Wan collected himself once more and went to find Anakin for the last time today.
As he entered the library, he knew the exact spot he’d find Anakin in. In a tiny little corner that only his small size could fit into. When Obi-Wan finally found his padawan, it wasn’t what he was expecting. He expected the bright, and cheerful padawan he had always known, but this was something else entirely. Anakin was silently sobbing into himself, making no sound whatsoever, as he cried into the palms of his hands. The sight surely shocked Obi-Wan.
“Anakin?” He called gently, as to not startle the boy. Anakin looked up at him with puffy eyes and quickly wiped away his tears, and fixed himself up, trying to put on a smile.
“Yes, Master?” He said with a sniffle, as he stood up and tried to fake his wellbeing.
Obi-Wan didn’t know how to approach the situation. Words didn’t exactly reach Anakin the way he’d like them to, the best way to reach him was by plain and simple affection. So, that’s what Obi-Wan turned to. He walked forward and bought Anakin into a hug, as he gently carded his fingers through Anakin’s hair. Anakin was still in his hold for a moment, before he broke down. Anakin’s hands wrapped tightly around Obi-Wan, as he cried into his chest. Obi-Wan brought them to the ground so that it was easier for Anakin to crowd himself in his space. Obi-Wan whispered sweet nothings, as he let his padawan cry. He could hear Anakin trying to speak, but it only dissolved into more cries. Obi-Wan calmed him further, now the only thing that came from Anakin now was soft hiccups.
“Anakin, what happened hm?” Obi-Wan tried.
After another sniffle, Anakin spoke. “I...I’m frustrated...and I’m tired of the nightmares. I just needed a quiet place to cry for a little while. There’s so much going on and I just...needed time. I’m sorry Master.” Anakin mumbles nervously, as his shields begin to slip ever so slightly, Obi-Wan can feel his Padawan’s anxiety seeping through, worried he’d be chided or scolded for his feelings and actions.
Obi-Wan prods a little more, and wills Anakin to drop his shields just a tad lower. Anakin is...scared? Scared of his judgment, worried he will never be good enough to stand by his Master’s side. Scared to lose him. Scared of many things, all having to do with him. He gets worried when Obi-Wan falls asleep on his desk, or when he doesn’t see him eating well enough, or even when they’re not around each other. Here, in this library they both loved so much, Obi-Wan learned the thing Anakin was most afraid of. His attachment. But Anakin will not let him see who. But Obi-Wan knows whoever this person is, Anakin cannot live without. Obi-Wan won’t be able to delve fully into his feelings, because he feels like he’s being enclosed in them. The strength of his attachment is unlike anything Obi-Wan has ever seen in his life. To say it shocks him is an understatement.
With so many different things plaguing Anakin’s mind, it’s no wonder why he would need time to just...let it all out. “Oh, Anakin…” He sighs fondly. “I’m sorry there’s so much going on in your mind, and I’m sorry I haven’t been able to help.” He says sadly, his hands coming to gently pet at Anakin’s hair without him even noticing This attachment you have...Who?” He whispers ever so softly, hoping Anakin won’t be able to hear him. Only after he whispers out the sentence, does he realize the bitter jealousy in his own voice, completely betraying his own mind’s will. Obi-Wan hears Anakin laughing, truly laughing, and it makes his heart light up.
Anakin backs away from his Master’s hold and wipes his tears from his face. “Oh, Master…” Anakin inches closer to Obi-Wan’s face, and Obi-Wan can feel his Padawan’s breath gently ghost over his lips. “You really are a fool.” He says with a giggle.
And then, Anakin’s lips are against Obi-Wan’s. Obi-Wan is more than surprised, but he doesn’t wish to fight it. He pulls Anakin impossibly closer, never wishing to let go of this boy he loves so much. Suddenly, everything seems to click. He feels foolish for missing the blind truth right in front of him. He was Anakin’s biggest attachment. With that knowledge coming to light, the rest of it floods in. Obi-Wan is taken aback by just how much Anakin feels for him, he doesn’t understand how he is the object of all these different feelings, worries, thoughts, dreams. Here in this library as he kisses the one he loves most, he’s more than happy to know that Anakin’s attachment matches his own. True, Obi-Wan has never seen attachment like Anakin’s attachment to him. But that doesn’t exclude his own attachment, a flurry of hundreds of emotions reserved for Anakin and Anakin alone, matching Anakin’s feelings beat for beat. They’ve always been so in tune with each other, he muses, and it seems their feelings aren’t an exception.
Anakin laughs into the kiss and locks eyes with Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan cherishes the sweet sound of his laughter. “So am I the attachment you so speak of?” Obi-Wan chuckles, watching as Anakin’s face scrunches up in laughter.
“You are such a fool. Of course, you are. Was that not clear by how I kissed you?” Anakin chuckles, reaching for his hand. Obi-Wan gladly tangles their hands together.
“I might have to kiss you again just to make sure.” Obi-Wan grins, surging forward to press a quick kiss on Anakin’s lips, in the back of his mind, he notes how he could get used to this. “Anakin...You don’t have to worry anymore, I’m sorry I didn’t see that you needed me. And I’m sorry if I was the cause of your worries.” He apologizes quietly, watching as Anakin shakes his head softly.
“You’re here now. You’re here holding me, and that’s all that matters to me now. Of course, I worry for you, I always will, just as you worry for me. But...I don’t regret the worries I have, I’m not ashamed of them, or plagued by them. I worry because…” Anakin steps closer, his voice but a vulnerable, quiet whisper. “Because I love you Obi-Wan. With all my heart.” He whispers, just for Obi-Wan’s ears to hear.
Obi-Wan can’t fathom the bright smile he feels forming on his face. He can’t help but kiss Anakin, pouring each and every ounce of his love for him into the tender kiss. Obi-Wan finally let himself want, finally let himself have the thing he wanted most. No Jedi rules in the way, no worries in the way, he just lets himself be in Anakin’s arms. He never wanted Anakin to come to this dusty old library to cry again, he longed for Anakin to come to him, to be able to cry in his arms, to be able to hush him to sleep when he’s plagued with nightmares. He would protect Anakin as he always had, he needed to be able to.
“Anakin, I love you too. So, so much dearheart, it makes me dizzy to think about how much love I have for you.” He chuckles breathlessly, nosing at Anakin’s temple. Obi-Wan is pleased to hear an ever so soft, happy sound bubble from Anakin’s lips.
“Master, can we go back to our room? It’s cold in here.” Anakin complains, huddling up and stealing his own warmth.
With a smile, Obi-Wan agrees. This precious boy who he so dearly loves will be the end of him. This boy will consume every inch of his very being, and Obi-Wan is perfectly content to accept that knowledge. Distantly, the ginger ponders if they would make a good love story...