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Back to where it all began, where they first met, is the perfect place for where it all ends.
The crisp refreshing sound of two cans opening fills the air of one fine autumn day as Jisung and Chenle raise up their drinks to do a quick cheers. Clinking their cans together, they each take a long sip as they look out towards the beautiful Han River.
Jisung sighs in satisfaction at the taste of his fizzy orange Fanta, basking in the beautiful warm hues of the sun that is shyly starting to hide behind the bridge.
As they watch the last few boats pass by, they simultaneously set down their drinks in the small space between them. Jisung looks at both cans side by side and pauses for a moment as he takes note of the difference between the two. His soda, next to Chenle’s beer.
Chenle had recently turned of age, and things were changing— too fast. The people in Jisung’s life were like the sounds of bikers cycling behind them, they would come and go. Most of his friends tend to be older than him. He assumes that he just gets along with them better. As he watches each of them grow up and find their soulmate after turning into an adult, he starts to feel abandoned. Moreso, probably forgotten.
It’s not like they would stop contacting or hanging out with him, but he just feels so...It’s just different when they find their other half. Jisung’s mind sometimes spirals down where he thinks his presence is intruding, perhaps even burdensome, when they already have someone else they can make memories with. He doesn’t know what it feels like to find your soulmate, but he assumes that he would probably want to spend every minute with them once he does.
As he slowly distanced himself from each friend and grew more lonely, he met Chenle. Jisung can’t still believe that it’s been five years since Renjun introduced him to Chenle at this park. Renjun had run off to run an errand, leaving the two boys together. Although Jisung was shy and felt like he wanted to hide in his shell, Chenle’s bright friendly energy was able to draw him out. They sat on a few steps and talked for hours on that day. From alien theories to video games, Jisung felt like he could talk about anything with him. Back then he felt like he could finally be at peace with finding a new best friend that was around his age, that wouldn’t leave him right away. In fact, they’re sitting on those very steps right now.
Jisung lifts his head and looks back out into the distance as he lets his thoughts continue to sail through his stream of consciousness. They were just two kids then, and now they’re getting ready to take on the new responsibilities of a young adult as they enter university next year. That’s not what’s making him distressed though. What’s troubling him is much worse, something that he wished he would never see the day come.
The sound of his name being called out snaps him out of it, making him turn to look at Chenle who was staring at him with slightly concerned eyes.
“Something’s on your mind. Spill it.”
Chenle always seems to be able to tell when something’s up with him. Jisung has always been someone that keeps to himself, but Chenle can spot a sad smile whenever he sees one.
Looking up to the sky thoughtfully, more like avoiding Chenle’s gaze, Jisung pulls his own knees to his chest. “So…” He begins, trying his best not to make his voice tremble. “You’re really leaving later on tonight, huh?”
Chenle nods, looking away as well. “Yeah, well more like tomorrow morning. My flight is at 3am.”
“And...is he going to meet you there? When you arrive at the airport in Beijing?” Jisung does his best to keep a smile plastered on his face, but he feels it falter. “He,” the reason why they have to say goodbye.
Chenle drops his head as he seems to hesitate on answering his question. “Yeah, he said he’s going to come pick me up when I get there.”
Jisung bites his lip and nods uncomfortably at the thought of it. “What was it like again? When you found out that he was your s…” He trails off, not having the strength to even say that word in front of him.
Picking up his beer, Chenle takes a sip as he shrugs almost nonchalantly. “I just heard a chime in my ears. And when I turned around to see what it was, it was as if the world around us slowed down and got hazy.”
Jisung recalls when Chenle called him right after it happened. Right after Chenle encountered his soulmate, who was a foreign exchange student, in the subway. The guy was going back to his hometown after the semester ended and asked if Chenle could go back with him so that they could get to know each other better. Jisung remembers the feeling of his heart dropping to the ground and the white noise buzzing in his ears upon hearing the news.
“How did you feel at the time?” Jisung asks, pretending to be curious to hide his true feelings.
“How did I feel?” Chenle repeats, as his expression grows serious like if he’s contemplating something. A gust of wind of the autumn breeze then flies by, blowing and tousling his hair. His bangs poke his eyes and he shakes his head to toss them aside. “Well, actually I…” He stops mid-sentence when Jisung instinctively reaches out to gently fix his hair for him.
Jisung is taken by surprise when Chenle doesn't try to stop him by pushing him away like he always does. Instead, he just sits there with closed eyes, and Jisung brushes the strands of hair away from his pretty eyes. This makes Jisung wonder if Chenle feels the same heaviness he feels right now. That moments like these might be their last.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to send you off?” He asks in a small quiet voice, trying to change the subject.
“Yeah...I think you being there would make it harder to leave.” Chenle’s eyes widen a bit as he catches himself and quickly adds, “Also, it’s too late of a flight. You already have a lack of sleep these days, so I wouldn’t do that to you…”
Jisung wants to refute, but he just nods. It’s probably for the best anyway. He prefers not to see him physically leave to someplace thousands of miles away, not knowing when or if he will come back. Feeling cold all of a sudden, he rubs his arms for warmth.
Chenle immediately notices and shakes off his own jacket before throwing it over Jisung’s shoulders, shushing him before Jisung can even try to convince him to take it back. “Just wear it. I’m not too cold.” With that, he lays his head on Jisung’s shoulder and Jisung relaxes against him as they sit there in comfortable silence.
They stay in that position for quite a while, occasionally bringing up old memories of going to the internet cafes and laughing about the times they ran for their lives because of some large bug. Jisung makes sure to record this moment in his mind to save and keep forever. A memory to use as where his “happy place” would be for whenever he has those dark days.
Minutes turn into hours and before they know it, night falls upon them. Jisung unconsciously glances at his watch and notices how late it’s getting, how his sheer will to make time freeze didn’t work so well. He doesn’t want to leave but, at the same time, he doesn’t want Chenle to miss his flight. With conflicted feelings, he brings it up with a heavy heart.
“Chenle, it’s getting late,” he says softly, glancing over to where Chenle laid on his shoulder. “Probably should get going soon.”
When Chenle remains still without responding, Jisung turns to look back up at the sky which is now a canvas of twinkling stars. A fleeting streak of light flies across the sky, catching Jisung’s eyes.
“A shooting star!” He exclaims excitedly, full of childlike wonder and joy. “Quick, make a wish!”
Jisung feels Chenle lift his head off his shoulder as he shuts his eyes tightly and folds his hands to make his own wish.
I wish for Zhong Chenle to be happy. Every waking day and every dreamy night.
When he opens them, he turns to look over at Chenle with eyes that sparkled like the stars. “What did you wish for?”
Chenle pauses for a moment again before replying softly, “This…”
Jisung doesn’t hear it as the loud engine of a plane flying by drowns it out. “Ahh, that…” He nods awkwardly, assuming that it must’ve been related to his soulmate. “Hope it comes true for you both.”
Chenle bites his lip but doesn’t try to reiterate what he actually said and meant. Instead, he grabs his backpack and digs through it.
A flash of recognition flies across Jisung’s eyes when Chenle pulls out a dirty old lunch box. “Is that..?”
Chenle nods, dusting off the dirt and dust off the top. “It is. Our time capsule.”
A few years ago, sentimental Jaemin had made their group of friends write letters to their soulmates after watching some Netflix movie. Everyone thought that it was super cringe, especially the two best friends, but Jisung and Chenle decided to make it their own thing by making it into a time capsule. Instead of digging a hole, they decided to just hide it behind this loose brick they found in the tunnel at Yeouido Park. Back then, they promised to only open it when one of them finds their soulmate.
“I almost forgot about it…” Jisung says, feeling the nostalgia just looking at the Stephen Curry lunch box. It’s starting to really hit him now that Chenle has found his other half. Time had slipped through his fingers just like that.
Chenle’s phone vibrates and he sees that it’s a text from his mother telling him that he should head back soon. He clicks open the lunch box only wide enough for him to spot his own letter and to stick his hand in to grab it.
“Here,” Chenle says, closing the box shut and handing it to Jisung. “You should keep it. Just for memories' sake.”
He gets up quickly as if prolonging the goodbye would make things harder, and Jisung scrambles up in surprise with the lunch box in his hands.
“It’s time? W-wait your jacket!”
Before Jisung can try to shake it off, Chenle stops him. “Just give it back to me next time,” he says with a pressed smile.
Next time...Jisung doesn’t know if there ever will be one. Even if there will be, things won’t be the same like how they are now.
They stand there in silence as if to bask in their last moment together. Jisung takes in every little detail as he takes one last good look at Chenle. His soft black hair blowing gently with the wind, the way his eyes looked back at him with a sense of longing and gratitude, and the way his name leaves his lips one last time.
“Park Jisung.”
Jisung doesn’t know how to say goodbye, but he’s grateful that at least he has a chance to say it.
Chenle seems to read his mind— he always does — and that’s something he’s going to miss. A whole lot...
“We don’t have to say goodbye,” Chenle begins. “Let’s just pretend that we will see each other soon, yeah? That we’ll see each other again next week.”
Jisung feels his eyes get teary as he nods and forces a smile. “I’d like that.” Doing a little wave, he says, “See you later, Big Head.”
The familiar nickname makes Chenle crack a smile. “See you later too, Big Head #2.”
It was unusual for them, but Jisung wants to hug Chenle one last time. He steps forward but tilts his head in hesitation.
“Come on. Let’s be men and hug.” Chenle says, opening his arms wide and motioning for Jisung to come close.
Jisung falls into Chenle’s arms and they embrace one another tightly, not ever wanting to let go or let life drift them apart. He will make sure to never forget the warmth of Chenle’s love.
Although he wants to say their last goodbyes with a smile, Jisung finally breaks down, and his body trembles as he buries his face down onto Chenle’s shoulder. “Thank you…” He sobs. “Thank you for everything.”
Jisung feels Chenle pull back and they look at each other as the streetlight illuminates their faces. Chenle was crying too, but staying strong for the both of them as always with a smile.
Chenle reaches up and pets Jisung’s head with the most endearing look in his eyes. “Grow up well, Jisung-ah. Let’s meet again another time.”
ﾟ+*:ꔫ:*﹤ 💌 ﹥*:ꔫ:*+ﾟ
Unlike what Chenle hoped for, Jisung ends up not being able to sleep that night. He stirs in bed, constantly adjusting his sleeping position, before finally deciding that he’ll just stay awake. Not wanting his parents to nag him, he just stays in bed with opened eyes—regretting not begging Chenle to stay. It seems like fate just enjoys slowly taking people away from his life and Chenle’s no exception. He cries his entire heart out, curling his body up and crumpling his blanket in his hands, before falling asleep.
When Jisung wakes, the sun is up and he decides that it’s late enough in the early morning for him to be up and about. He shuffles into the living room towards the coffee table where he left the lunch box last night. Wiping away sleep from his eyes with one hand, Jisung uses the other to click it open. Taking a deep breath, he throws the lid open and pulls out the first piece of paper he sees. He’s taken aback when he realizes it’s not his handwriting. This isn’t his letter? Did Chenle take the wrong one by accident?
Before he can stop himself, he starts reading what Chenle wrote.
Dear soulmate,
I’m sorry to say this, but I think I may have already found someone I would like to spend the rest of my life with. Although he’s a little childish and weird sometimes, I feel he just gets me. I’ve never met anyone like him. I know he’s probably not my soulmate, but he...
The letter ends there and Jisung looks back in the box in confusion. Inside, he finds post-it’s that he doesn’t recall seeing from when they first hid their letters. Jisung picks them up one by one, noticing that some look more brand new or recent than others.
“Makes it feel okay to be vulnerable with.”
“Makes me laugh over the littlest things.”
“Is someone who’s side I never want to leave even if the world is ending.”
“Is someone that I want to grow up with.”
As he continues on, teardrops start falling as Jisung breaks into the biggest smile. Chenle has been adding more notes over time without him knowing.
He hears the doorbell ring and he swings his head towards the door, his heart beating fast full of expectation. Jisung sprints over to unlock the front door and throws it open, ready to greet someone he’s been dying to see again.
His sunshine quickly gets clouded once more when he sees that it wasn’t him. Instead standing there is a delivery guy who is looking flustered from seeing how fast Jisung’s facial expression changed. His face falls so quickly that even the delivery guy even wishes he could be that person Jisung expected to see.
Jisung feels foolish for expecting such a drama-like scene to happen. Chenle’s gone and he has to live with that.
Thanking the delivery guy, he takes the package from him and notices something weird about it. There’s no label and there's no packaging tape? Jisung rips it open quickly and finds two red strings inside: one is cut and the other has a loop at each end. At the very bottom, he finds a message that reads out, “Fate may have chosen our soulmates, but I want to choose our own destiny.”
He hears a loud tap on the glass behind him, and when he turns around he sees his best friend waving at him in his backyard through the sliding door. He came back, he really did.
Jisung runs over immediately, sliding the door open and not even letting Chenle try to bring his suitcase in as he jumps into his arms.
Chenle chuckles as he rubs Jisung’s back reassuringly, to let him know that he’s real. “Yes, it’s me. It would’ve been too cliche if I was the one at your front door right?”
After a long embrace, they take a seat on Jisung’s couch as Jisung links arms with Chenle to make sure he’s not going anywhere anytime soon.
Chenle takes the string with two loops out of the box he had delivered and grabs Jisung’s hand. "When I found out you weren't my soulmate, my heart shattered but..." He loops a hoop onto Jisung's finger and the other one on his.
Jisung beams at this with the utmost joy, before his face flashes with worry. “What’s going to happen to you if you’re not with your soulmate?”
Chenle shrugs, tugging on their connected string which was firm. “I don’t know, but I’m not going to worry about that now. All that matters is here and now, I’m with you.”
Jisung scrunches up his nose, not used to the sweetness of Chenle’s words, and they laugh. It seems like both of their wishes will come true.