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Kurosawa hadn’t expected that he would end up at Adachi’s apartment that night. He hadn’t expected to see Adachi at all, really. When he came running toward him on the bridge, Kurosawa expected the worst. Although he wasn’t sure what the worst was, since Adachi had already appeared to have answered his feelings declaration with an emphatic “no.” Not much could be worse than that.
But apparently it took Adachi time to get up the courage to say what he felt. Kurosawa was beyond grateful that he did. Going forward, he would need to do what he could to make Adachi feel comfortable. He would need to give him time.
When he suggested they go back to Adachi’s place, he had expected another outburst. He had expected Adachi to stutter and startle. All he wanted was for Adachi to tell Kurosawa what he wanted. Well, maybe that wasn’t all he wanted, but it was what he would be satisfied with tonight.
And then Adachi surprised him again by saying “Ok.” It wasn’t much, but it was enough.
The taxi ride to his apartment was quiet. Adachi was fidgeting with his hands. Kurosawa looked over and said, “You’re making me nervous again.”
“Oh, sorry,” Adachi said, clasping his hands together tightly.
Kurosawa picked up his hand and hovered over Adachi’s where they were folded in his lap. “Can I?” He asked.
Adachi kind of jerked and sputtered, but then he took a deep breath and said, “Yes.”
Kurosawa placed his hand gently on Adachi’s, hoping it might ground him. Hoping it might help him relax. He had no expectations. He just wanted to be near Adachi. He just wanted to be with him, acknowledging these feelings between them, living in them, getting to feel them to their fullest, no longer hiding.
Adachi somehow relaxed at this. His body stopped moving. He turned to look at Kurosawa and gave him a shy smile. Good.
When they got to Adachi’s apartment, he started fidgeting again, cleaning up piles and rubbing his hair so that it was almost all standing on end. He was adorable. He bit his lip and pulled out his tie. Oh, and sexy too.
“Adachi, can we sit together?” He asked. He felt like he needed to make everything clear. He needed to ask. He didn’t want Adachi to startle, to run.
Adachi sat down on his bed and then moved over to make room for Kurosawa, an invitation. He knew it wasn’t that kind of invitation. He wasn’t foolish. But it was still something.
After he sat Kurosawa said, “I can sleep on the floor tonight.”
“Oh, I…” Adachi said, tripping over his words. “I just am not sure...”
Kurosawa turned toward Adachi. He needed to make his intentions crystal clear. “Adachi, I don’t want to sleep together tonight. I was maybe hoping we could spend some time together, talk and--”
Kurosawa was unable to finish because Adachi’s lips were firmly on his. He was completely taken by surprise. Adachi’s lips felt rigid, almost like he shocked himself. But as Kurosawa relaxed, so did Adachi, their lips moving slowly, carefully. Kissing Adachi felt like the sun shining down after a storm.
He just wanted to freeze this moment. He wanted to hold Adachi and keep kissing him. Of course, he wanted to do other things. He hoped he would get to be as close to Adachi as possible, but he knew that Adachi would need time.
“Adachi, I--” Kurosawa started to say again.
He smiled and said simply, “Yes.”
“Yes, what Adachi?” Kurosaw asked. It was as though there was a conversation happening, but somehow Kurosawa was not part of it.
“Oh uh, nothing. What did you want to say, Kurosawa?”
He lifted his hand up to Adachi’s face and brushed his wild hair out of it. He couldn't believe he got to do that. “I wanted you to know that we don’t have to do anything you aren’t ready to do.”
“Ok,” Adachi said.
“And, if you would like it, I would love to lay down and hold you and kiss you some more.”
“I...I would like that Kurosawa.”
Kurosawa leaned forward and gently pressed them both down on the bed. Adachi’s lips, hesitant before, had started to become more pliant, more responsive. Kurosawa liked kissing Adachi so much he could kiss him all night long, although he might have swollen lips in the morning.
Adachi laughed.
“What’s so funny?” He asked.
“Nothing, nothing,” Adachi said. “I like kissing you, too.”
They kissed some more and Adachi started moving his hands, touching Kurosawa’s shoulders, his face, his chest. It made him feel crazy. He loved every brush, every caress, every movement. He was getting very turned on. But he did not want it to scare Adachi. They were just feelings. Kurosawa would never push him. He would never pressure him.
Kurosawa could not help his body’s reaction. He wanted Adachi so very badly, his desires were open and sincere. But more than anything, he wanted Adachi to be able to feel how he cared for him, how he wanted to be close, how he wanted to be able to just feel together.
Adachi must have noticed. He must have discovered Kurosawa’s physical reaction to touching him because he said, “It’s ok, Kurosawa. I’m ok.” And then he pressed his body against Kurosawa’s and for a moment Kurosawa thought he lost his mind because he could feel Adachi too.
They kissed and touched and pressed their bodies together. It was more amazing than anything Kurosawa had ever experienced in his life. It was Adachi smiling, kissing Kurosawa breathless, and making humming noises of pleasure as they pressed against one another. Kurosawa was lost in it. He was floating in his feelings for Adachi and he wasn’t sure he could ever come back down.
At some point Kurosawa realized how late it had gotten, his eyelids getting heavy. Adachi’s lips felt slower, he then stopped to yawn. They had tired themselves out.
Kurosawa slid his arm under Adachi’s neck and pulled him in close, Kurosawa's body encircling his so that Adachi’s back was pressed against Kurosawa’s chest. His heart was beating so loudly he was certain Adachi could hear it. Almost as if in response, Adachi pulled Kurosawa’s hand that was resting on his hip and placed it firmly on his own chest. It was the steady, but certain beating of Adachi’s heart playing the same rhythm as Kurosawa's, lulling them to sleep in one another’s arms.