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Kakashi was standing outside in the cold morning breeze. He shivered as he took another drag from his cigarette. Frowning and thinking about things. Overthinking. His bad habit was getting the better of him once again.
He hated mornings. He hated cold. He hated cigarettes. He hated himself.
Frowning still, he took another drag as very warm hands touched his naked belly. The beautiful girl he met the other day was smiling upon him cutely and still sleepy sought his comfort. He flicked the cigarette from the balcony and turned around with a soft smile.
"Why are you up in this unholy hour half-naked?"
She spoke quietly. Still smiling, trailing her warm hands from his belly to his face. She stood up on her tippy toes to reach him and kissing his beauty mark.
"Are you planning on answering me Ka-ka-shi?"
She singsonged and laughed at his surprised face. He was struck like frightened baby deer.
And then.
Kakashi's smile was wiped off his face as if someone hit him hard with a fist. The girl shrieked in pain when Kakashi griped her wrist hard and with anger and hurt in his eyes frowned.
"Pack your things and leave. Get out and don't you dare to ever talk to me again."
He couldn't help himself. He is so mad. But she didn't know. He didn't tell her. He did not, right?
Scared and upset the girl ran on shaky legs inside searching for her things quickly. Minutes were ticking and Kakashi only heard the rustling of clothes and quiet sobs. Was it him or her?
His eyes were watery and his hands started to shake. Every time. Every time he nearly forgets it comes back. Stronger and stronger every time.
One more time and he is going to break.
Kakashi twitched at the loud bang of the doors. She was gone. Like everyone else he ever tried to bond with.
His fist hit the wall and tears started to flow. Is this some sick joke? Why. Why?
Every time. After so many years and he can still remember that heartbreak. How betrayed he felt. How painful it all was.
Why can't he just move on? Forget it all? So many beautiful people are there outside. But no, his heart after all the pain and that awful betrayal is still beating for that bastard.
More tears and loud sobs tore from his throat and he slid down the wall and kneeled, his forehead touching the wall. His fist once again connected with the wall painfully.
Why can't he leave him alone? He forgot. Just one more month or something and he would be free. He would find someone nice, maybe start a fucking family and seek therapy to get his shit together.
Obito and Rin took away everything from him once. He told himself he will never let them or anyone else do that to him again.
But just one single letter. He could've burned it, tear it to pieces. But no. He didn't do anything of that. He got drunk and wrote a reply for Obito, begging that motherfucker to come here and fuck him.
One last time. Just for the sake of being really good friends and a goodbye gift. He is going to get married, he can still enjoy something before he gets attached for a lifetime. Right?
Kakashi's heart skipped a beat when a reply came the next week. Obito told him he couldn't stop thinking about him. About his body, about how good it was to fuck him and be fucked by him.
That was everything that Kakashi was to Obito ever. Just someone to fuck with, let off steam. He loved Rin, he never truly thought of Kakashi as a lover. Rin was always better than him. Kakashi wished to be Rin.
Kakashi hated how his heart skipped a beat when he heard that gruff but still sweet voice.
"Ka-ka-shi. I am knocking for a whole minute now. Don't tell me you aren't home now?"
He hated himself as much as he hated that damned Uchiha and Nohara.
Uchiha Obito and soon to be Rin Uchiha. The dream pair that ruined Kakashi Hatake. His sanity, his heart, and his life.