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Bellamy knew that Gus was going to be the death of him, he just didn’t know in what way. His son was the best part of his life, don’t get him wrong, he loved the boy more than anything. He just didn’t expect his life to turn into what it has due to him being in it. He didn’t miss the one night stands or dating—though he missed sex.
Octavia thought he was crazy, doing it all on his own once Gina died, but Bellamy watched his mom struggle raising two kids on her own and Bellamy knew he would be able to handle raising his son alone.
Gus going to school was supposed to be a godsend. They had a plan from the start, Bellamy hired Gaia next door to watch him and help with homework after school until Bellamy got home at 5:30. Occasionally her mother would bring over dinner for them, thinking that Bellamy fed Gus Kids Cuisine or dinosaur nuggets every night. They started before school started so Gus would be accustomed to Bellamy not being around all the time. Gaia got paid a little more because preschool got out an hour earlier than elementary school but that was helping her pay for college.
The first day came and Bellamy sent Gus off to school on the bus at 8:10, a photo of him getting on the bus looking so cute, that Bellamy nearly dragged him off the bus to hug him one more time that morning.
The morning was good, Bellamy started work at 8:40, his boss knowing that he would be late every morning to get Gus in the bus. The day was going smoothly—or so he thought—until his phone rang in the middle of a meeting and it was the school.
“Sorry, it’s the first day of kindergarten, he’s probably a little nervous,” he tried explaining to his boss as he let his project partner take over as he stepped out to take the call. “Gus?”
“Mr. Blake, it’s Principal Kane. There’s been an incident at recess today and we need you to come in.”
Bellamy sighed. “Is Gus okay?”
“Everyone is fine now, we just need to speak with you.”
“I’ll be right there.” He hung up the phone and popped his head back in. “I’m sorry, I have to go.”
His boss nodded and thirty minutes later, Bellamy found himself sitting outside the principal’s office at twenty-nine years old, sitting next to a pretty blonde who was typing away on her phone like crazy. At least he wasn’t the only workaholic parent.
“Miss Griffin. Mr. Blake, come in,” Principal Kane said and the blonde locked her phone and put it in her purse before standing and heading into the office without even looking at him.
“What did she do?” The blonde asked the moment Principal Kane sat at his desk. Bellamy hadn’t even taken his seat yet.
“Madi technically did start the fight, Mis Griffin, but it was the way that Gus ended it that concerns us.”
“Then why am I here?”
“Because your daughter started the fight, Clarke. It’s the first day, so I’m trying to be lenient but if you have something better to do, you should have sent your mother.”
Clarke scoffed. “You’d have loved that, wouldn't you? Unfortunately for you, she’s in surgery.”
“Whatever personal issue the two of you have, I don’t care, where’s my son and what happened?”
“A girl made a comment about Madi’s scar and so Madi punched her. She knocked her to the ground and pinned her, punching her harder and harder… for a five year old. Your son, Mr. Blake, told her they were cool and the girl wasn’t worth Madi’s time so Gus helped Madi up and they went over to the swing set together like nothing had happened.”
“Wait, so Gus is in trouble for using his words instead of his fists?”
“It’s not normal five year old boy behavior,” Clarke quipped next to him, somehow back on her phone.
“And beating a girl up over words is appropriate five year old girl behavior?” Bellamy countered.
“Non-binary with female genitalia, going by ‘she/her’ until further notice. And she’s been through some shit, so Madi goes here because regardless of our ‘personal issues’, Principal Kane knows what Madi has been through in her short life.”
“Clarke, you know what Madi has been through isn’t reason enough for what she did. She’s lucky she didn’t cause any damage,” Kane stated.
“What’s the punishment?”
“It’s a warning. It’s the first day and everyone is a little nervous. The girl’s parents aren’t pressing charges, she’s just switching out of Vera’s class.”
“How is being your mother’s boss?” Clarke asked.
“Nerve wracking. Your children are next door playing.”
“Question: when you spoke to the girl’s parents, did you happen to mention that she was bullying Madi?”
“I did and they were very sorry. They took her home for the rest of the day.”
“I want an apology.”
“Is that really necessary? Your daughter beat her up in response, it’s fair.”
Clarke whipped her head at Bellamy with that statement. “Life isn’t fair,” she spat and stormed out of the room and Bellamy heard the crash of the door hitting the wall before hearing it again with the door next door.
“School’s nearly done for the day. Take him home, talk to him. Fresh start tomorrow,” Kane said to Bellamy in Clarke’s wake.
“Thank you.” Bellamy sighed and stepped out, and over to the next room to find Clarke watching Gus and who was probably her daughter playing with the big block legos.
“Gus, come on. Time to go home.”
“But Dad, we’re building a pirate ship!” Gus argued without even looking up.
“You can build a pirate ship tomorrow, it’s time to go home.”
“I just tried that,” Clarke sighed.
And that was the start of Gus and Madi’s friendship. They wanted to spend practically every moment together and for the most part they did, they had sleepovers every weekend and there were nights where Bellamy joined them for dinner at the Griffin house or Clarke joined at his.
Some nights after dinner when they kids were getting ready for bed and they had a little too much wine or scotch, they complained about their weeks. They spent all their time together because their kids were best friends and maybe it was the proximity but the summer after Kindergarten, they were all camping in the Griffin back yard, the kids sharing a tent and Bellamy and Clarke shared the other. They got a little too drunk and mouths collided and wandered and hands voyeured south and Bellamy came almost embarrassingly quickly considering he hadn’t gotten laid in six years.
They didn’t talk about it. They made pancakes with chocolate chips and leftover marshmallows from the hot chocolate the night before. It wasn’t an awkward silence as the kids ate next to them, but Bellamy could still smell her cum on his fingers and he hoped she could still taste him on her tongue.
Two years passed and it didn’t happen again, Clarke had a fling that didn’t like Bellamy being around even with explaining that they only spent so much time together because of the kids but it didn’t stop him from leaving and Bellamy couldn’t help comparing himself to the guy. They had the same build, though Bellamy was definitely taller. His hair was a little more well kept than Bellamy’s always letting it get too long and his stubble was always well polished and just enough whereas Bellamy couldn’t stay consistent with it. The kicker was that the guy was a doctor whereas Bellamy was in advertising and only out of necessity.
“Madi asked if we could go to the city this year,” Clarke said after her third glass of wine as she cuddled into his side after putting them to bed. They’d grown too comfortable together, Bellamy knew it but he didn’t stop it, he missed the casual touches that came with relationships.
“Yeah? When would you want to do that?”
“Well, I was looking into it.”
“The research queen,” he quipped, adjusting his arm around her and kissed her temple.
“Bryant Park has photos with Santa, Rockefeller Center isn’t too far away and then Radio City. I haven’t been since my dad died and I miss it, I know Madi sees the pictures every year and wants to do it too, so I thought take them out of school on a Friday, go to Santa in Bryant Park, see the Macy’s windows, grabbed an overpriced, bitter Starbucks hot chocolate before seeing the tree and then the Rockettes?”
“There are some issues with your little plan. First, how are the two of us going to get off work on the same afternoon? We are not that lucky. Secondly, what happened to thinking that all men who dress up as Santa are pedophiles? And lastly, those Rockette skirts are nonexistent and sexist.”
“Mm, anti-feminist, but good job. I figured we would be there for Santa so we can see what he’s doing and if he has an erection and this could be a prime teaching moment about feminism.”
“They’re going to hate that so much.”
“Too bad. Hey,” she said, pushing off him and turned to look at him. “Happy birthday.”
“Just remember, did you?”
“I didn’t forget, I was just thinking about Madi’s birthday in January and realized that we have nothing planned for yours.”
“It’s okay, I don’t need anything.”
“I know that you don’t need anything, Bellamy. You’re allowed to want something though. You give and give, you’re allowed to want something for a change.”
Bellamy dropped his head back against the couch. “I want Gus to be happy, I want his first heartbreak to not overwhelm him. I want his mom to see that he’s okay.”
Clarke didn’t say anything so Bellamy looked over at her, her eyes filled with unshed tears. “Madi… she’s not mine. Don’t get me wrong, I love her more than anything, I fought three years for her. I just… I don’t have what you have with Gus, she will never be mine and I thought I was okay with that. I’m her mom and she knows that, she loves me and sometimes I wonder if she would if she remembered that I’m not her mom, not really.”
“You are. Costia and Lexa and Gina are watching us right now, the best co-parenting partners in New York State and they’re happy that they’re children are happy, that they’re loved and cared for. They couldn’t be more proud of how loved their children are.”
“You heard yourself, right? You want Gina to know that Gus is okay and you just said she was looking down at us incredibly proud.”
“I just meant—“
“I know, but you know too. Our kids know we love them and sometimes I think they pity us too. They’re our entire lives and it’s a little pathetic.” She curled back into his side, her position a little different and he could feel her breath on his neck and that was too new and too close. He dampened his growing feelings for her after the little camping night they had two years ago, he accepted their friendship as just that and unsuccessfully moved on.
“What’s pathetic is thinking that our kids care about our lives. They definitely don’t unless it impacts their fun.”
“So does that mean you’re in for a Friday night in New York City with the little monsters?”
He felt her breath tickle his ear and his brain short circuited as he tried keeping his dick under control. They’re not like that, two years ago didn’t matter.
“Yeah, just pick a Friday and I’ll get a half day, Pike owes me. I should go, I have to get my car inspected in the morning and—“
“You’re not going to stay?”
“I have a meeting in the morning, I wouldn’t want to wake everyone up just for me to leave.”
“It’s just… you always stay and…”
“I always make breakfast? You have to admit that I know your kitchen better than you do.”
She huffed out a laugh against his jaw. “That’s definitely true.”
He kissed her hair. “I’ll bring doughnuts after my meeting, okay? Bribe them with eggs, they’re not hard if you keep an eye on them.”
“It’s like you don’t know me. I’m going to burn them anyway.”
“They better eat eggs before I get there or no doughnuts.”
“Okay, calm down.” She pushed off him. “I’ll make sure they each have an egg, you make me sound like a bad mom.”
“That’s not my intention, you’re a great mom.”
Bellamy stood, he knew if he stayed any longer, he’d stay the night and torture himself even more. Clarke stood too and they walked to the front door together.
“We like having you here,” she said softly and Bellamy turned to look at her.
“Gus and I like being here.”
“Good. I don’t think we’re getting rid of you anytime soon.”
Bellamy smiled and slipped his sneakers on. When he stood back up, Clarke hugged him tightly. He wasn’t unaccustomed to it, but the force behind the hug itself jolted him and it took him a minute to hug her back.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He didn’t have a meeting. He didn’t have anything going on and because he said a fucking meeting, he just paced the length of his living room from the time he woke up at six thirty in the morning, occasionally grabbing a cup of coffee when he needed it, checking his phone for any texts he might have missed from anyone. Anyone. A work text, his sister freaking out about some Christmas present that was already out of stock that her kids might want. From Clarke asking when he thought he was going to be back. His phone remained silent aside from a Facebook birthday notification for some guy he knew back in high school.
Other than that the day went by as normal, Bellamy and Clarke took their kids to the grocery store and did their normal weekend errands which somehow turned into going to the frozen yogurt place in town too. Doughnuts and frozen yogurt, their kids were spoiled.
Clarke couldn’t get out of work early until the Friday before Christmas, which just so happened to be the 22nd of December. Bellamy knew that the city was going to be packed so he decided that they would make a whole day out of it, they would take their time to do all the activities on their list. Clarke bought the Radio City Christmas Spectacular tickets starting at six in the evening and they were going to see the tree lighting after that before heading home. Which left them with the Macy’s windows and seeing Santa in Bryant Park before that which shouldn’t take hours but people were a little crazy during the holidays so Bellamy wasn’t too surprised when there was a three hour wait to see Santa and school didn’t even let out yet. He told Clarke to take them over skating while he stood in the too long line, he wasted his battery on his phone, winding up with fifty percent after two hours when he texted Clarke asking how they were holding up, Gis texted him back from her phone saying that they just grabbed some food and they’re bringing him fish tacos.
He smiled, leave it to Clarke to remember him wanting to eat healthier while they’re having a nice day out.
“Mm, fish tacos,” he deadpanned as Gus slammed into his thighs, smiling at Clarke who had three to go cups balanced on his travel container of tacos.
“Shrimp to be more specific and a hot cider.”
Bellamy’s eyes drifted down to Madi who was unnaturally quiet and found her blowing into the cup in her hands with a few shopping bags on her elbows.
“You went shopping too.”
“Little things. You know my Christmas ornament tradition.”
Bellamy smiled. He did know, it was cute and he loved how that much more special it made everything. They stayed in line, taking his ear off as he ate his delicious shrimp tacos. They two eight year olds ran off but still in sight as Clarke told him about what her mother wanted them to go down to Atlanta for Christmas even though she was likely going to be on call and would ditch them the moment the hospital called her.
“I know you feel guilty for saying no, but you knew it was going to be a waste of a trip and that you guys wouldn’t see her. It’s the same with Octavia, I love her and I miss her but when we’re together… I can’t seem to say anything right and then everyone’s miserable. We’ll FaceTime. And you can do the same with your mom.”
“Yeah, it just sucks, you know? She gets so many vacations a year and she goes off to Bali for the thousandth time or South America… she never once thought about coming to visit us.”
“She loves you, Clarke, she just doesn’t know how to show it. Octavia was like that and I think my mom loved a little too much and it consumed her. I think I follow in her footsteps like that.”
“Oh, yeah? Tell me, what’s it like to be loved by Bellamy Blake?” She quipped with a smile and Bellamy rolled his eyes.
“You tell me.”
“It’s kind of amazing. Sometimes I think I could ask you to bury a body with me and you would without question.”
“I’d want to know who it is.”
Clarke laughed, taking a sip of her coffee. She was allergic to apples and hot chocolate did nothing for her. She could eat an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie or pudding pie and be perfectly content but hot chocolate was not for her. “Of course, you would.”
“I mean, as long as they truly deserved it, I’ll be fine with it.”
They finally had two families ahead of them and Clarke went to get the kids. They were all bouncy and it made Bellamy wish he had more of a childhood. He wouldn’t trade Octavia for the world, but he realized in the last years while raising Gus that he missed out on a lot.
Once it was their turn Gus hopped up on Santa’s lap first and the woman took the photo with ease then Santa asked what he wanted for Christmas and Gus shrugged.
Shrugged! That boy had been begging for an Xbox for months and now when it’s Christmas and he’s talking to the big man himself, Gus shrugged!
Something was definitely off.
Madi joined him and they goin their picture and they practically shouted at Santa that they wanted Clarke and Bellamy to be together.
Fuck.
Bellamy looked over at Clarke who just kept her cool about the whole thing, asking Gus to let Madi get her a picture alone and then she asked for a bicycle as well and Santa nodded saying that he knew just the one and she hopped off his lap and skipped to her mother.
Bellamy realized they didn’t plan well, they went to Bryant Park first then headed south to Macy’s before going back uptown to Radio City. The only thing that made sense was Going to Rockefeller Center after Radio City, they were back to back.
By the time the night was over and they got to Grand Central to catch the train back home, Bellamy was exhausted. He couldn’t imagine how tired Gus and Madi were and he hoped they would sleep on the train so he and Clarke could talk about their Christmas wish. Once they got on the train it was like their second wave hit and Bellamy knew he and Clarke weren’t going to talk about it. Not for a while at least.
It was an odd sensation he woke up to Christmas morning, he felt content and yet he knew all the work he had to do to set up the tree for Gus and Madi. It wasn’t until he really felt the hand on his thigh that he really woke up, only to find Clarke sitting on the edge of her bed and there he was in boxers under the covers.
“They’re not up, right?”
“It’s four am, no.”
Bellamy sighed. “Good.”
Still too tired to function, Bellamy didn’t realize that Clarke was kissing him until she was pulling away since he definitely didn’t kiss her back.
“I’m sorry, I just—“
Bellamy sat up and pulled her into a deeper kiss, the one his brain short circuited while remembering from two years ago. He pulled her down on top of him and she maneuvered herself into straddling him, grinding herself against his confined hard cock.
“We should…” she started when they pulled away momentarily to catch their breath but Bellamy shook his head and pulled her back in. Their kids wouldn’t be up for hours and besides, this was their Christmas wish. (His too.)
“Clarke,” he said an hour later, nearly spent but couldn’t stop mouthing at her skin. “How awkward would it be if I admitted that I wanted this for years?”
“As awkward as me admitting the same. I thought that I was just a warm body that night we went camping. It was cold enough and we were both shivering.”
“We’re idiots.”
“I just… I know it was their Christmas wish, but can we keep this to ourselves? Just for a little while.”
“So we’re really doing this? Dating to make our kids happy?”
“Dating to make us happy and if that just so happens to make them happy too, added bonus.”
Bellamy smiled against her collarbone and nipped at it before looking her right in the eyes. “We should get everything set up and ready.”
“We’re those parents this year that we swore we would never be. We overdid it.”
“Yeah, but that’s just to hide this from them. We thought ahead well,” he teased.
Clarke laughed, trying to pull him up to kiss her but he fought back. “If you’re not going to kiss me at least get up so we can set all the presents up.”
Bellamy reluctantly got up, and pulled Clarke up with him and into a searing kiss.
They told their kids on Valentine’s Day, they were stupidly excited and kind of bummed that they weren’t told on Christmas. They explained that they didn’t want their relationship to get in the way of their kid’s friendship and that was a good enough answer for the near nine-year-olds as their parents went out on their technical first date that didn’t involve children. Clarke wore her hair up in a bun, she got paint in her hair at work and was trying her best to hide it, and a gorgeous free silk dress that Bellamy itched to rip off her.
He tried and failed to tame his curls.
Clarke said I love you first, only because Bellamy thought it was too early even though he’d loved her for years. He got too in his head about things like that and then winds up saying it second, but it really didn’t matter who said it first, just that the sex afterwards was incredible.
Christmas came around again and Bellamy had no idea what Clarke was thinking when she said she wanted to go to Atlanta to see her too busy mother. So they took a flight the day after school let out and Dr. Abigail Griffin greeted them at her house with open arms and what felt like empty promises of not working the entire week they were there.
They met Abby’s life partner Marcus who seemed nice enough to Bellamy but he and Clarke had a visibly strained relationship due to the fact that he was her father’s best friend.
The days leading up to Christmas were a little insane, there were too many gifts for them to bring back on the plane, Bellamy could tell that easily and Clarke tried calming him down about it saying her mother would have them shipped up to New York for them.
Christmas came and Bellamy rolled over in bed to find Clarke already watching him.
“You know how creepy that is?”
“You do it all the time.”
“That’s because I can’t believe that you’re mine. According to Miller I turned down a lot of women since meeting you and he’s glad I finally got my head out of my ass when it came to you.”
“I mean, I technically made the first move.”
“Shut up,” he laughed, pushing up to give her a kiss.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“No, I mean… I don’t know what I would do if I ever lost you.” Her voice sounded utterly broken, like she had that specific nightmare. They’ve been through enough together, what could they possibly go through to break them apart?
“We don’t have to worry about that. I’m fine, we’re fine.”
“I’m just scared, you know. Anything can happen, this world is going up in flames.”
“Is that why you dragged us all to Atlanta? The world has gone to shit, you need to see your mom before the apocalypse?”
“We should go out there and get breakfast started.”
Something was up with Clarke, she wasn’t usually this pessimistic about the world. But it was Christmas, if anyone had the right to be pessimistic, it was Clarke. Her dad died this time of year when she was a kid, she found out about Marcus the next Christmas and then her best friend was diagnosed with Leukemia during the winter break in college. Christmas wasn’t a good time of year for her, last year being the exception.
They helped Abby and Marcus cook breakfast as the little monsters slept, Bellamy and Marcus discussed the difference between the traditional Democracy in Athens versus the current warped American democracy, though they were on opposing sides, they both made good points in favor of their station.
The kids woke up and were like the Tasmanian devil cycloning through the living room and tearing open the presents with no restraint. They gave any adult their gifts as they stumbled upon them but a vast majority was for the two terrors. Bellamy froze around a box that could be confused as a jewelry box sitting in front of him and he grabbed it, seeing that it was from Clarke before going to tear it open. What the hell could it be?
Clarke’s hand on his wrist stopped him. “Wait. Not yet.” She took the gift from his hands and held it on her lap until it was the last one. He didn’t get his yearly ornament like she promised and that was a little troubling to him. Could that be what was in the box?
“So a year ago I told Bellamy that I wanted to be with him, I told him that I’ve wanted it since we met four years ago because our kids are rebels.” She smiled at the little joke, their kids were weird. “I just… I’m so grateful to whatever powers there may be that Augustus and Bellamy Blake are in my life. I don’t remember what my life was like before meeting you two, and I don’t want to. Bellamy open the present.”
She held the box out to him and shrunk into the couch next to him as he opened it. He looked at her warily before popping the lido find this year’s tree ornament that was a photo of an ultrasound. He stared at it for a moment, shocked and confused before he looked up at her.
“You’re…”
“Yeah.”
He stood and kissed her. “I love you,” he said, wiping the tears from her eyes.
“You’re happy?”
“Of course, I’m happy. Shit, I’m ecstatic!”
Clarke laughed. “Good. I just… about thirteen weeks.”
“Wait, really?”
“What’s going on?” Marcus asked.
“We’re pregnant.”
“Really?” Madi and Gus nearly screamed in unison.
“Yeah. I just wanted to be out of the first trimester, I know you struggled with having another while I grew up and I didn’t want to get my hopes up.”
“Oh, honey.” Abby sighed. “I wouldn’t hold it against you, I love you and I’m so excited for you and Bellamy. You two love these two and I know bringing a third child into your lives would be such a blessing and would be more love in your already beautiful family.”
“Congratulations,” Marcus said with a smile and Bellamy wondered if he ever regretted not being a father.
Later that day, Bellamy FaceTimed Octavia and held off telling her the news about Clarke, she was still a little bitter about not finding out about them dating until Gus’ birthday in June. She told him about her kids and what Lincoln got her, thanked him for the gift certificate to the spa in town.
“You let me go on and on about Lincoln and the kids when you had this massive news? Why didn’t you start off with that.”
“I didn’t think it’d matter, it’s not like you’ll meet him.”
“Why the hell not?!”
“Because of this, no matter what we do or the occasion of the phone call there’s always a fight. I don’t want to live a life with this phantom fear of a fight every time I see you!”
“Well then maybe don’t make stupid comments like I’m never going to see my nephew! God, Bellamy, I thought you having Gus would be a good thing. I thought, you’d stop trying to be my dad. I love you and I know you had it rough growing up and I appreciate everything you’ve done for us, but it’s past time to be my brother. Please.”
“How about spring break? We can meet somewhere, an AirBnB that could hold the eight of us.”
“Almost nine,” Octavia quipped and Bellamy smiled.
“Yeah. A house in Florida maybe? I don’t know. What do you think?”
“I think it’s about damn time you introduce me to your girlfriend.”
“Well, I was going to propose…”
“Spring break is the perfect time to do that.”
Over the course of the next year, while supporting Clarke in her pregnancy and raising their daughter, Estelle, together, Bellamy and Octavia worked on their relationship. It was tough going at first, one would say something that rubbed the other the wrong way and they’d fight but still talk it out.
The next Christmas they stayed close to home, renting a cabin that would hold everyone, Clarke and Bellamy got a room with Estelle. Abby took a week off from work and she and Marcus took a room. Gus and Madi shared a room with Octavia and Lincoln’s kids who were a little younger and Octavia and Lincoln had their own room.
Bellamy waited to propose to Clarke until Christmas, not to be mean and make her wait, but there were so many bad memories of Christmas that she had, he wanted to even them out with good memories. He proposed on Christmas Eve, Estelle in her arms and they looked out off the porch at their kids who were more than happy to call each other brother and sister. It was Christmas Eve and he couldn’t wait any longer and practically yelled it at her.
Of course she said yes.
And to think, they wouldn’t have gotten together if it weren’t for their meddling kids.