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Linda sighed as she checked her phone for the third time in ten minutes. Realizing that Becky probably got caught up at the hospital and forgot to tell her that she wasn’t going to be home in time for lunch. A small bitter part of Linda wondered if Becky even remembered they had plans; maybe Becky was eating lunch with the new doctor in St. Damien’s, Dr. Houston.
Linda glared at her half-eaten meal, hating the sight of the empty seat next to her at the table. This hadn’t been the first time Becky had stood her up because she was buried in work at the hospital. When they had first started dating, Becky had been the most thoughtful girlfriend that Linda had ever had, she planned wonderful dates that Linda would never forget. However, as time passed in their relationship, Becky stopped being so attentive, she grew distant and uninterested in the relationship and Linda felt like she was the only one putting in effort to the relationship.
She stared at the now cold pasta dish, hoping that it would solve all her issues. The tears had begun to flow freely down her face; she briefly wondered if this was why Gerald had left her years ago. Perhaps she was too clingy, too committed to have a long-lasting relationship. She was doomed to jump from relationship to relationship seeking the love and commitment she would never get; she would watch all her friends marry and create families while she wasted away staring at her pasta.
She stood up abruptly. She was not going to wallow in her sadness for a second longer; she was going to the hospital and she would tell Becky that either they married or she would leave. The fear of being alone would not scare her away from her feelings anymore. She quickly got in her car and drove to the hospital, vaguely noticing the dark clouds closing in on Hatchetfield. The sound of the only radio station in Hatchetfield filled the silence of her car as she focused on practicing what she would say to Becky. It was in moments like these that Linda cursed Becky’s ability to leave her speechless.
She bitterly remembered the dates that Becky would plan for her; the days where they went to the park to look at ducks—Linda remembered a goose stealing Becky’s sandwich out of her hand and Becky being too afraid to fight the goose for it—the dates they spent at the library, reading poetry to each other, at the aquarium where Becky asked Linda to move in with her. Linda gripped her steering wheel harder. She could always turn back and pretend that she didn’t feel lonely. She could keep living in the fantasy of their college years.
Linda turned the volume up on her radio. The voices of Dan and Donna pulled her from her thoughts. She couldn’t let herself suffer in silence for the rest of her life. She had tried to talk to Becky before and nothing changed. And she knew nothing would ever change, even if they married.
She sighed once again, parking her car in the almost empty parking lot of the hospital. So Becky just forgot, she thought angrily. She stormed into the hospital, not bothering to shield herself from the falling rain. She hoped that she was wrong, that Becky hadn’t forgotten, that she had gotten busy and couldn’t call her.
Those hopes were swiftly crushed by the sight of Becky eating lunch with Dr. Houston. Linda felt her heart drop to the floor. The pasta she ate earlier threatened to make its way onto the carpet outside of Becky’s office.
Becky saw Linda standing outside and waved her in with a smile. Linda could not bring herself to smile back.
“Becky,” Linda said, not caring to hide her anger, “I was waiting for you.”
Becky’s eyes widened, “Shit! I completely forgot. I was so busy with this kid who broke an arm. I’m so sorry, babe!”
Linda just stared at her, “I’m sure you were very busy.”
Becky stared at her in confusion, “Linda, are you okay?”
“Maybe I should go,” Dr. Houston said, standing up.
“No, stay here. I don’t want to interrupt you two.” Linda said, blocking the door.
Becky felt lost. She had felt bad for missing so many dates with Linda, but work had made it impossible to even sit down and eat. On most days, she just ate small snacks throughout the day to keep her going, but she still felt bad that she hadn’t even thought to call Linda.
Becky had also been busy trying to plan how she would propose to Linda. Tom had been helping her with ideas; they both thought proposing at the aquarium would be special for Linda. Unfortunately, that meant that she couldn’t tell Linda why she was with Tom so much. She hadn't thought it was so important to tell Linda that Tom was her best friend from high school or that his wife, Jane, had recently passed away in a car crash, but seeing Linda, who had clearly been crying, she realized that she should have been more clear about her friendship with Tom.
“Linda, can we talk alone?” Becky asked, hoping she could finally tell Linda the truth, even if it meant ruining the surprise.
“No, Becky, you’re going to listen to me for once,” Linda screamed, “I am tired of being alone all the time! I am tired of wondering if you’ll even show up to our dates or if you’ll ever actually pay attention.”
“I’m sorry.” Becky cried.
“I want to marry you. I want to start a family with you, but I never get to see you. I can’t just wait around for you to decide that you want to put effort into our relationship,” Linda said, her voice trembling, “When you get home, I won’t be there and I don’t know if I’ll ever come back.”
Linda stormed off and Becky stood, paralyzed by the horrible thought that Linda reminded her of when she was still with Stanley. She sobbed, realizing for the first time how much pain her negligence caused.
Tom stared at Becky unsure if he should comfort her or let her cry in peace. He hesitantly put an arm around her, awkwardly patting her back.
“Maybe you could go after her?” Tom suggested.
Becky’s eyes widened, “Tom, get your keys. I need to get there before she leaves.”
Tom scrambled to find his keys and quickly ran to his car, silently praying that they could get there in time. The rain had started to pour down on Hatchetfield, making the roads slippery and hard to see, still Becky paid no attention to it. Instead she stared at the engagement ring in her hand. She had kept it in her pocket to make sure that Linda would never find it. It was a dainty silver ring with a bright green emerald in the center and smaller stones around it; Becky had chosen not to buy a diamond ring because she remembered the way Linda would stare longingly at the emerald rings in jewelry stores, not even sparing a second glance at the diamond rings. She had chosen to engrave their names on the ring band as a way to always remember their love for each other, now the names taunted her.
Suddenly, harsh lights blinded her, pulling her focus away from the ring. She felt panic rise in her as she realized what it was. She knew there was no way for Tom to move out of the way of the incoming car; the roads in Hatchetfield were narrow and hard to maneuver even in broad daylight. She closed her eyes and braced herself, hoping that she would live to see Linda one more time.
Linda broke down when she got the call. She was about to walk out the door, when her phone rang. Becky had barely made it to the hospital, but she wouldn’t recover. Linda drove to the hospital again in silence. This time she didn’t feel angry, she was just numb. She hardly registered the tears falling down her face or the way her hands shook as she drove.
When she walked into the hospital she caught herself searching for Becky, hoping that she would appear from some room with the smile that Linda loved. She made it to the room Becky had been brought to, but the only things Becky left behind were a box and a napkin with writing all over it.
The doctor had explained to her that Becky’s injuries were too severe and she would not have made it even if they performed surgery. Linda had just nodded, not being able to comprehend the reality of the situation. She picked up the box and opened it.
She felt as though her legs would collapse under her. It was an engagement ring. An engagement ring that looked like something she had always dreamed about. She felt nauseous. Becky was going to propose. She carefully set the box down; she was unable to look at it anymore, to be reminded of a future she had just had ripped away from her. She picked up the napkin; it had the almost illegible writing that Linda immediately recognized. She could make out some words like “proposal” and “aquarium.” She felt her heart skip a beat as she realized that Becky had been planning a special day for them. Becky had been planning to marry her and to be with her for the rest of her life.
Linda cried again as the future that she could have had was stolen from her.