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The cold was really about to hit the world around her now - not that she could feel it. But over the centuries, she had developed a sense for the way the air around her would change, the way the clouds would taste when she broke through them, the way the wind smelled just ever so slightly different. The humans would start to wear their thick coats, heads covered in woolen hats and hands thrust deep into pockets. She wondered, as she watched them hurrying across the street underneath her, what it would be like. To actually feel the bite of the wind and the numbness of your fingers and toes, to be so cold that it made those funny red blotches appear that she often saw on the humans’ cheeks.
On her left, something flashed, and she turned her head to see the decorations strung over the street come to life. Stars flickered a warm golden, and their light was reflected in the red baubles strung up next to them. She smiled. For once, she was happy that the humans had gotten something wrong – she loved the Christmas lights, and they simply would never have looked as magical in April.
The quiet ringing of a small bell pulled her out of her thoughts, and she returned her attention to the little shop on the other side of the street. Her charge had been in there for quite a while, together with a work colleague. The two had spent the better part of an hour in a seemingly heated discussion inside the shop, occasionally grabbing something from one of the shelves, only for the other one to shake their head as soon as they saw it. According to her knowledge of human customs, the two were probably picking out a gift for someone. She dangled her feet over the edge of the building, humming quietly. Gifts were, arguably, the best thing about this season. Sometimes, she would fly through the city on Christmas, stopping in front of windows here and there to see the joy on people’s faces as they unwrapped their presents.
To her surprise, she felt an abrupt bout of sadness wash over her at the realisation that she wouldn’t be able to give Yasmin anything. The unfamiliarity of the thought made her frown, but before she could dwell on it any further, the door of the shop opened once again, and Yasmin stepped out into the street. She watched as the young woman immediately wrapped her coat tighter around herself. Her charge’s colleague followed a moment later, pulling a face as a cold bust of air hit his face. He carried a large bag with a gift-wrapped package inside.
Gently pushing herself off the roof she had been sitting on, she spread her wings, floating over the two humans as they began walking down the street.
“Thanks for your help, mate. I don’t think I’d be able to pick something for him on my own.”
“Sure thing. And you would have, you know. Found something. You know him better than you think.”
The young man frowned, awkwardly passing the bag over into his other hand. “It’s just weird, you know”, he said. “That it’s just the two of us now.”
Yasmin stopped to turn towards him, a sympathetic smile on her face. “I get it. But it’ll get easier, I’m sure. And he’s a good egg.”
“Yeah.”
The smile on Yasmin’s face suddenly turned into a mischievous grin, and she stepped closer towards her friend. “What about”, she began in a conspiratorial tone, “mulled wine?”
The dismayed look on the young man’s face instantly changed into a wide grin as his eyes lit up.
Drifting in the wind above them, she smiled.
“You bet”, he replied.
She found a comfortable spot on the top of one of the market stalls. Her legs crossed, she draped her wings around herself. It didn’t really change anything about the way she felt, but wrapping themselves up in something always seemed to make the humans happier during winter, so she figured she would give it a try. She fiddled with her feathers as the two humans underneath her ordered and received mugs filled with steaming liquid. The smell hit her nose, and she inhaled it, sighing. Another thing she liked about this time of year.
Technically, she didn’t have to be here right now. She knew that. Yasmin was safe – the young police woman was off duty – and she knew she would sense it if her charge was about to be in danger. But not for the first time in the last few months, she found herself reluctant to leave. Her cheeks filled with warmth as a memory suddenly flashed through her mind, of herself, in Yasmin’s bedroom, singing the young woman to sleep. Groaning, she let go of her feathers and buried her face in her hands. That kind of thing was not in the guardian angel rulebook. She had no idea why she kept doing it. A part of her wanted to ask her brother Michael about it, but she had a dreadful feeling that as soon as she would say this out loud, she would be assigned to a different charge faster than she could say heaven.
Suddenly, the sound of Yasmin’s laughter filled the air, and she peeked out from between her fingers. She drew her wings closer around herself – the humans were right, there was something comforting about this – and watched laughter tumble over Yasmin’s lips. The woman’s eyes were sparkling, and the sight warmed her heart. She let her eyes roam over Yasmin’s face – the line of her jaw, barely visible above the thick scarf she was wearing, her full lips, curved up into a smile, her eyes, dark and warm and full of untold stories, the stray strand of hair sticking out from underneath her hat.
She could never look away, no matter how hard she tried.
As she watched Yasmin put her mug down, she saw the woman shiver as she pushed her hands into the pockets of her coat. Worry flared up inside her instantly, and she bit her bottom lip. She leaned forward watching more closely as Yasmin buried her face deeper into her scarf.
Before she knew what she was doing, she was off the roof. Landing quietly on the ground behind Yasmin, she lifted her right hand, and exhaled softly against the skin of her palm. She was about to gently lay it against Yasmin’s back, when she stopped herself. Not entirely sure of what she was doing, she instead took a few steps, until she was facing her charge. Standing in between Yasmin and her friend, she lifted her hand once again.
Suddenly, she could feel her own heartbeat in her fingertips, and she reached out, slowly, tentatively, until her palm hovered next to Yasmin’s cheek. Holding her breath, she moved her fingers closer.
As soon as the tips of them touched her charge’s skin, Yasmin closed her eyes, letting out a small sigh.
She could hear her own blood rushing in her ears.
Then, without warning, Yasmin opened her eyes, looking straight into hers, and the world stopped.
For a moment, she was sure, so completely sure, that she could actually feel Yasmin’s skin under her fingertips. As her body was flooded with a wave of warmth unlike anything she had ever experienced, she felt every fibre of her body being drawn to the woman, as if somebody had sunk an invisible hook into her flesh.
“I think that mulled wine just hit your system.”
And with that, the spell was broken, and she remembered, not without embarrassment, that Yasmin’s friend was standing right behind her, that the woman had been looking at him, not her, and that there was no way in heaven or hell that she would be able to feel human skin.
She stepped away, feeling almost a bit dizzy.
“Yeah”, she heard Yasmin say behind her. “I think so, too.” A small laugh that somehow made her chest hurt. “I feel all fuzzy inside.”
Another laugh, the young man’s this time.
“I better get going I guess. It’s getting late, plus we’re on duty tomorrow morning.”
The young man sighed. “Yeah yeah, you’re right.”
They said their goodbyes, and she watched them hug out of the corner of her eye. Something ugly reared its head inside of her at that, but she pushed it away.
She walked Yasmin home, strolling over rooftops while always keeping an eye out for her charge. When they turned a corner, away from the busy streets of the Christmas market, she suddenly felt more like herself again. These streets were rather empty, and it was dark, and she had a purpose: keep Yasmin safe. She let herself fall sideways off the roof then, her wings catching the wind, and drifted down towards her charge. Humming an aimless melody to the rhythm of her wingbeats, she came to an abrupt halt as Yasmin stopped in the middle of the street, turning around with a frown on her face.
Her focus became razor-sharp in a matter of seconds. Landing next to Yasmin, she looked down the road. Had she missed something? Some sort of hidden danger that had made a quiet sound, lost to her because she had been humming to herself?
She closed her eyes, sending her senses out into the street, carefully brushing them over every corner, every doorway.
There was no one.
She let out a little breath, and turned back to Yasmin. Her charge had apparently come to the same conclusion, and was now staring up at the sky, a slight smile on her face as she took a deep breath.
“Man”, Yasmin murmured. “I can’t wait for snow.”
Suddenly there was an image in her mind, of Yasmin, her cheeks red, her eyes sparkling as she held a wrapped gift in her hands. “Thank you.” She could hear the words ringing in her head as the Yasmin in her vision lifted her head, looking her in the eyes as she smiled.
The image was gone as quickly as it had appeared, and she was left breathless, with an ineffably beautiful longing raging in her chest. For the second time today, she felt herself acting before she could properly think about what it was she wanted to do.
Pushing herself off the ground, she bolted into the sky above, her wings beating fast at her sides, until the first cloud came into view, and she reached out, energy pooling at her fingertips as she came closer, and with a final push, she broke through the cloud, the world around her erupting into white.
By the time she landed back at Yasmin’s side, the first flakes had started to fall.
The woman’s eyes went wide, and she pulled her hand out of her pocket, reaching out in front of her. When one of the small white crystals fell into her hands, her entire face lit up, erupting into a smile.
They stood there for quite a while, the two of them, one woman with her eyes closed and her face turned towards the sky, the other one unable to tear her gaze away from her.
“I love it”, Yasmin sighed, blinking her eyes open again, the smile still stretching across her face.
And happiness, so bright and warm and full and beautiful, opened inside her chest like a flower. It coursed through her body, making her hands tingle and her stomach flutter. Taking a step towards Yasmin, she lifted her hand, letting it rest against the woman’s cheek.
“You’re welcome”, she said.
Unbeknownst to her, a small snowflake landed on the back of her hand, melting slowly across her skin. And for the first time in her life – without fully noticing or understanding it – Sariel felt the cold.