Chapter Text
Winter was well on its way when Fluttershy found herself dawdling home from her animal sanctuary. Snow whispered its way from the clouds in short sprinklings of activity, and she wrapped her scarf more tightly around her neck. Every few minutes a sharp, cold wind lapped at the ends of it.
The shops in Ponyville were being decorated for Hearth’s Warming, with colorful wreaths and trees and festive garlands and swags festooned on every streetlamp and building.
“Fluttershy,” someone called, familiar, from behind her, and when she turned she found Rarity rushing to catch up to her. “Fine evening, isn’t it? Doing some Hearth’s Warming shopping?”
“Is it that time already?” Fluttershy sighed and hugged herself against the latest whip of wind. “I’m just going home.”
“Yes, it’s only two weeks away! I’ve been shopping for days, and I’m not even halfway done.”
“Oh, dear. I haven’t even thought about it yet.” Her face fell. “I’m so far behind.”
“I can help you, darling. Um, just not right now. Must run to the fabric store before it closes. I’ll see you later, Fluttershy.” She dashed away.
The sky grew darker and candles and twinkling lights lit up, making the cold a little cozier, but she kept her head down as she trudged home. She was so tired of being just friends. She couldn’t bring herself to just blurt it out, and she didn’t want to scare him, but if his feelings for her hadn’t changed after all these years, what else could she do? What if he said no? What if he didn’t want her that way at all? How could she face him again after knowing her heart and not wanting to share his?
She made it home, hardly realizing it, and went through the motions of feeding Angel and cooking dinner before collapsing into bed early. She tossed and turned, unable to sleep. I wonder what he’s like down there? She let her mind wander, but when she became too heated she sat up in bed and opened her window to let in the freezing air.
Oh, why can't he figure it out? She fell onto her belly, face smashed into her pillow. If only she were brave enough to make the first move. Even if he wasn't interested, he would never say it in a way that would cut her down. But how could she face him again? She would respect his decision, but the humiliation... how long might it last? How could she go on spending her days with him when he didn't care about her the way she cared about him?
It was selfish, she was sure, but she couldn't help her feelings. Every part of her wanted to be with him, but she did not want to tarnish the relationship they already had. At times, he seemed so loving and sure of himself. At times, she could swear he wanted her, too. But other times, they were on different planets, which, she considered, may be the truth. But there were no hints from him, no signals, and she wondered how he could be so attentive and so oblivious at the same time.
***
The next day at the animal sanctuary was almost torture; she and Discord had made plans to get together and wander the town to look at the holiday lights that evening, and the thought of inching her way through the ten-hour day was unbearable. There wasn't even that much to do, only an otter with a broken tail, two sick birds, and a baby marmoset that needed hourly care.
The minutes an hours crept on until dusk settled over them and she realized it was almost time to close up. She checked her watch every few minutes until it read five o'clock and immediately crossed the bridge returning to Ponyville. They had plans to meet outside Sugarcube Corner at fifteen past, and she made it in ten, but Discord did not show. He was so very punctual that even after seven minutes she began to worry.
The situation did not improve when twenty minutes passed and Pinkie Pie stuck her head out the shop window. "Waiting for Discord?"
Fluttershy, having been lost in thought, gasped at the voice. "Oh, Pinkie. You scared me."
"Need to order some Hearth's Warming cookies? Or cakes? Cupcakes? Teacakes? Puddings? Tarts?"
"No, thank you, Pinkie. You know my mother makes half of that, and she makes me help."
"You could treat you both by buying some!"
Fluttershy thought about it; it would give her more free time to spend with Discord, if they could manage it. She nodded. "Then I'll order two sets of cookies and one cake."
"Green? Red? Pink? White? Red and white? Pink and-"
"Um, red and green, please."
"And the cake?"
"Whatever you think would look best." She actually looked directly at Pinkie for the first time since their conversation began. "Thank you."
"You got it!" Pinkie retreated from the window, closing the shutters.
Where is he? Fluttershy paced in small circles, ignoring the festive atmosphere. She was about to run into a lamp post when Discord appeared, and she hugged him before he realized where he was.
He patted her head. "I'm late, am I? Got distracted."
"It's all right." She held out her red-mittened hand and he took it.
"Shall we?"
They had just begun walking when Rainbow skidded along in front of them, sending bits of snow flying all over their clothes.
"Hey, Fluttershy," Rainbow said, catching her breath. "Wanted to catch you before you head home... er, hey, Discord."
A top hat appeared on Discord's head and he took it off with a slight bow.
"Anyway, Applejack's having a crisis at the farm, and we could really use your help."
Fluttershy looked from her to Discord and back again. "Um. Now?"
"Yes, now. Antlers breaking! Fur flying! The animals have all gone berserk!"
With her next blink, Fluttershy found herself, Discord, and Rainbow at Sweet Apple Acres where all hell was breaking loose.
Farm and wild animals alike were wreaking havoc everywhere, from the barn to the house to the pig sty and snowy paddocks.
"Fluttershy," Applejack called out. "Over here!" She was teetering on top of the fence in front of the house and holding onto Apple Bloom.
Discord grabbed Fluttershy's arm and a second later they were also perched along the fence next to Applejack. Rainbow Dash zipped around, trying to save barrels of apples from being kicked apart by reindeer.
"I hate to think any of this has to do with a certain lord of chaos," Applejack whispered to her through clenched teeth.
"It wasn't me," Discord said.
"Where'd these reindeer come from?" Rainbow cried.
"I don't know!" Applejack jumped off the fence with Apple Bloom and began running around without direction, chasing terrified chickens. "Fluttershy, can't you use your stare or somethin'?"
Fluttershy was almost dizzy from all the movement. "But they aren't... well, I can try."
Seizing gray bunny mid-hop, she stared into its eyes, but nothing happened. She put the rabbit down the front of her coat to keep it still. "I don't think it worked."
Rainbow gave up on the barrels and started chasing a skunk.
"Just round 'em up," said Applejack, trying to lasso a reindeer.
"What's wrong with them?" Fluttershy asked, trying to keep her eyes focused.
"Everything just went plumb crazy tonight! Can you stop 'em?"
"Please, Fluttershy," said Apple Bloom, hugging her sister around the waist. "We're supposed to be making our Hearth's Warming apple cakes tonight."
"But I don't know what's wrong with them." Fluttershy's eyes followed a litter of piglets who were leaping in the air in curlicues. "Did they eat something bad, or did something frighten them?"
"Land sakes," cried Applejack. She glared at Big Mac, who was swiping at a buck with a broom from the front porch. "Big Mac, you did pick up all them old apples lying' out in the orchard, didn't you? After all this time?"
Big Mac dropped his broom after the buck got it caught in its antlers. "Uh..."
"Granny and I told you all week," she fumed. "What are you doin' out in the trees if you're not workin'?"
Big Mac blushed and scratched his head, grinning.
"Sweet Celestia," she muttered. "You're supposed to be hauling in apples, not rollin' in the snow!"
"What's wrong with them?" asked Fluttershy, eyes wide.
"They're drunk. But I still don't get why they're so crazy."
Applejack, Rainbow, and Discord looked at Fluttershy, who blushed. "I'm sure I don't know."
Applejack jumped onto the ground with her sister. "No sleep tonight, stars above..."
"Wasted animals behave this way?" Discord asked Fluttershy.
"I've never seen this before. I hope it won't hurt them."
"Don't worry about them," Applejack yelled from the barn door. "It's our farm that's gettin' trashed! We gotta catch these critters and lock 'em up or toss 'em out!"
Discord stepped onto the snow and held his hand out for Fluttershy, helping her down. She did her best to help the others corral the animals with her yelling, and her subsequent stares seemed to do a little good on some of them, but it was well over an hour when the last drunken reindeer stumbled away and the last hiccuping chicken found its way into its coop.
"I knew you could help us out," Applejack told her, hands on her thighs as she caught her breath. "Whew, am I tuckered out." She eyed Discord. "Magic all washed up?"
"It isn't right of me to interfere with woodland and farmland creatures."
"I'm glad I could help," Fluttershy said, not daring to look at the state of her clothes. She was sure she had several bruises, too, from butting deer and angry rodents. She returned the hugs from Applejack, Apple Bloom, and Granny Smith before returning her attention to Discord, who had collapsed into a rocking chair on the porch.
"Oh, I'm sorry," she told him as she reached him. "I don't know why every crisis happens when we have plans."
"Want to go home and change? Still time for a short stroll, I think."
She looked down and saw her fitted cream coat streaked with mud, runs in her tights, and a broken buckle on her left boot. "Yes. Please."
Before her next inhale, she was standing in the middle of her kitchen dripping mud and slush. Hiding her sigh, she stood over the sink and squeezed the mud from her hair and brushed off her coat with a hand towel as best she could before taking it off. "This needs professional cleaning."
She had no sooner finished her words when she heard the familiar snap of Discord's fingers and found her coat and hair pristine again. "Thank you," she told him, "but if you could do that, why'd we go home?"
He shrugged one shoulder. "Modesty?" He moved around the kitchen, looking at everything.
"I suppose I should change into something more festive, anyway," she said, holding her arms out. Her once white sweater was now off-white and worn around the sleeves, and her long wool skirt was faded and sprinkled with small holes where bats had once clung to her in fear.
"You look good in everything."
"It's worn out; I wear this all the time."
Discord snapped this fingers. "Then how about this?"
Fluttershy found herself in a pink and white sweater dress and thigh high boots; she looked like a pink and white candy cane. "Um..."
"No? This?"
With another snap, she was wearing a very short, sparkly black club dress with an ample keyhole neckline and glittering silver stilettos. Her hair was straightened and longer than ever. "Uh-"
"Or something like this?"
She was now corseted, wearing a wine-colored taffeta ballgown trimmed at the short sleeves with sprigs of holly. Her hair was pinned up in dramatic coils and cascaded down the center of her back. Shiny black button-up shoes and white satin gloves finished the ensemble.
"It suits you."
"Oh, um, it's lovely. But I'm not sure it's the best thing to wear out in the snow." She looked at herself in the hallway mirror and smiled. It was beautiful, and she rather liked being dressed up for him. "Perhaps I can wear it some other time."
Discord snapped his fingers and she was in her long skirt and sweater again. "I'll sit on the couch and wait."
Fluttershy slipped into her bedroom, taking longer than even she expected trying to find something new to wear. She hoped to find something slightly interesting or festive, but all she came up with was a white blouse and a red pinafore more suited to teaching than walking in the snow with the man she hoped would someday be her boyfriend. She tried it on anyway, but before she could look at herself in the mirror, a pair of red eyes shone from the darkness outside her window and she let out a tiny scream.
She heard two loud thumps just before Discord burst into her room, nearly tearing the door from its hinges. "What is it? What's wrong? Where? Where?"
Her throat couldn't quite get the words out in time, so she pointed at the window.
Discord jumped over her bed and threw the window open. "Show yourself, you little shit!" he roared into the night, but only silence followed. He pulled his head back in. "What did you see?"
"Two red eyes..." she whispered. "Th-there!" She pointed again when the eyes reappeared.
Discord did an elegant swan dive out the window and she waited, biting her thumbnail until a puffed out raccoon face popped up from the other side of the window with Discord following. He gripped it by its scruff before holding it like a baby. "Was it this little bastard?"
Fluttershy felt faint and sat on her bed. "Oh, dear," she said shakily. "I can't believe I was frightened by that. Come here, poor thing."
The raccoon hissed at her, but, once in her arms, it snuggled against her chest.
"Well," Discord said, one eyebrow slightly narrowed. "Is that all he was after?"
"What's wrong, little one?" she cooed, and the raccoon chittered at her. "You're hungry? Your family... is drunk? Why don't you stay with me tonight." She left Discord as she went to the kitchen to find the animal something to eat.
She was kneeling with a bowl of nuts and fruit from her Hearth's Warming display for the raccoon when she heard Discord clear his throat.
"Another adventurous day," he said, and winked at her when she looked up at him.
"Something's wrong with this place."
"It's fun, that's what. I had fun. But I think it's about time for me to call it a night."
She sat on her heels. "You... you could always stay. Later, I mean. I'm not working tomorrow."
His eyes shifted from left to right and her heart sank. He looked at the watch that had just appeared on his wrist. "I would love to; you know I would, but it's also getting late for me."
"You have a bedtime?"
"Everyone has a bedtime. Let's do something fun again tomorrow, shall we?"
"All right," she said, her voice barely reaching him. She stood and forced a smile, hiding her disappointment, and Discord hugged her before disappearing.
She spun on her heel and groaned, "Oh, what is wrong with me? Am I stupid? Why do I keep... what are you laughing at, Angel?" she added severely when she saw him rolling on the floor with mirthful squeaks.
Stalking to her room, she ripped off her clothes and put on her flannel nightdress before making herself a large mug of cocoa, complete with marshmallows and peppermint schnapps, and sulked before her roaring fire.
He's avoiding being with me, I know he is! I'm so sensitive, I do notice these things! She lightly punched a throw pillow before stuffing it at the small of her back. What is it about me he doesn't like?
Only when tears threatened to spill from her eyes did Angel hop into her lap and nuzzle her. "Do you think he understands? Does he even know what love is, or how to express it? Doesn't he want me?"
Angel sighed and rolled to his back so she could rub his tummy. She gulped her cocoa and schnapps until she felt some tension in her shoulders ease. "Maybe I'll have to show him. I showed him friendship, so maybe I can... show him the other things... that he's missing."
With one last gulp, she finished the cocoa and let her belly poke out. Angel rose slightly on it and briefly peeled one eyelid open before falling asleep.