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Peter could tell something was wrong.
He had hung out with Bucky before, and though the winter soldier was more reserved and quiet than his fellow Avengers, he’d always been quick with a smile and kind word. Today, he’d barely even looked at Peter.
Then he’d refused to train, which the two had been doing once a week in an effort to build a better relationship after Peter’s slight freak out when he’d discovered the truth about Siberia and Tony’s parents. He’d been making amends with both Steve and Bucky, and training had been a wonderful way for the two to bond and let off steam. Bucky had even taught Peter a few tricks he’d learned from his time with Hydra, secrets of the trade that would give Peter a leg up going against any of them.
Peter had then asked Bucky if he wanted to watch a movie and pop popcorn. Bucky liked the music in Beauty and the Beast, and that was a sure fire way to brighten the Winter Soldier’s mood. When he even refused that, Peter knew it really was a bad day. He’d have to try something else.
“Hey...Bucky?” Peter was still getting used to not calling the man “Mr. Winter Soldier White Wolf, sir.” so he hesitated a split second on the name. “Would you like to go to the park? I was planning on taking Tess there anyway, and would love the company.”
It was a little bit of a low blow, a very last resort. Bucky loved Peter’s dog, and Peter knew it. He also knew that Bucky wouldn’t be able to refuse Peter saying he wanted company. But it was for a good cause, right? Peter could tell Bucky was sad, and he just wanted to cheer him up.
“Sure, kid,” Bucky answered after a moment’s deliberation. “Anything for you.”
They donned their coats, Peter hooked Tess to her leash, and they braved the chilly November air and New York crowds to make their way to Central Park. Peter grabbed a frisbee before they left, and he and Bucky took turns throwing it for Tess once they were at the park. She kept bringing it to Bucky, liking that he could throw it farther with his metal arm.
“You know, I know what you’re doing,” Bucky said after a few minutes.
Peter shrugged, a small smile on his face. “Is it working?”
Bucky kneeled as Tess came running up, goofily loping towards the two. She went straight to the older hero, her tail wagging, and obediently dropped the frisbee at his feet. He scratched her ears for a moment, and she jumped up to lick his face. Bucky smiled, and stood to throw the frisbee again.
“Yeah, it is,” he finally admitted.
“Good. You know, it’s okay to be sad sometimes. Even if you don’t know the reason why.”
Bucky laughed humorlessly. “See, I do know why, though.”
Peter waited, the silence too heavy for Bucky to be done talking, so he held his tongue.
“Sometime it just seems like all I can see are the mistakes I’ve made, the people I’ve hurt, the things I’ve done wrong.”
“I blamed myself for the death of my uncle for a very long time,” Peter finally said. “And for Tony’s injuries after fighting Thanos, and for May needing to work so hard, and for Ned having panic attacks, and MJ checking her phone every five minutes because she wants to make sure I’m alright. The point is...you can blame yourself forever, but it’s not going to change anything. You’ll drive yourself crazy,” he smiled sadly.
“What do you do?” Bucky whispered.
“Well, sometimes I write down all my thoughts if my brain is being too loud. Getting them out on paper, or even just talking to someone, seems to help a lot of the time. Sometimes baking helps. I’ve been practicing the cookie recipe that Steve gave me a lot. Or drawing helps too, a little trick I learned from Wanda.” Peter shrugged. “Tessa helps the most, though. That’s why I figured you might like to come with me and play with her.”
Bucky smiled, small but genuine. “Thank you, Peter.”
They continued to throw the frisbee for Tessa. Like the energizer bunny, she never seemed to run out of energy. She could chase the ball or frisbee or stick- whatever object was being thrown- for hours upon hours. Peter learned the hard way he needed to cut her off before it became too difficult to get her to stop, so after a few more minutes, he decided to move on to phase two of mission “help Bucky feel better.”
Leading the way, he wound his way expertly through Central Park to a pond where some ducks who hadn’t yet flown south floated gracefully on the surface. He pulled out the bread he’d snuck in his backpack with the frisbee.
The ducks, used to humans, came swimming over immediately, quacking insistently. The two threw bread at the ducks, imitating their quacking noises and laughing together. Peter was grateful to hear such a light sound. It meant his plan was working!
Once they realized the bread was gone, the ducks sulked back to the other side of the lake and Peter and Bucky headed back to the tower.
“Thank you again,” Bucky said. “For listening, for wanting to help, for getting me out. It really did help.”
“Anytime, Bucky!”
They continued through the park, chatting. Peter’s eye caught on a particularly vibrant red tree, standing out in the middle of the mostly bare ones around the park. He pulled out his phone and gestured to Bucky to come closer, angling his camera so that he could get the two of them and the beautiful tree in the picture.
At the last second, Bucky picked Tess up, easily hefting her weight in his metal arm, so she could be in the picture as well. The dog kissed Peter, making the two laugh again and turning the photo into a very adorable candid shot.
Peter printed it out later that day and jokingly stuck it on Bucky’s arm with a magnet as they settled in to watch Beauty and the Beast.
“I thought it might make you smile!” He said, grinning, and Bucky didn’t need to say anything for Peter to know it meant a lot to him.
As the movie played, Bucky’s eyes kept wandering to the picture stuck to his arm. The beautiful red tree, the genuine smiles on everyone's face, the memory of Peter’s kindness and the fun at the park. It made him smile every time he looked at it, and he found himself planning where he would hang it up, and wishing he had more pictures.
Suddenly, it hit him.
He decided to ask Tony for a camera. He couldn’t draw, not like Steve or Tony or Peter. But maybe he could make art in a different way. He’d take pictures!
The picture of him and Tess and Peter was just the first of many. Soon a picture of Steve in an apron joined the mix, then a picture of Tess curled up in her dog bed, her eyes wide and adorable. Another candid picture- also courtesy of Peter- of him, Nat, and Wanda the day they laughed so hard about a joke in Russian that nobody else could understand, which only made them laugh harder joined the group as well. There were secret lakes he found when he’d go hiking, sunsets and flowers, and birds he caught mid flight thanks to the high quality of Tony’s tech.
Soon he had a wall full of happy things, so on days when he was sad, he could remember that those times don’t last forever, and hold on to the happier times until they came again.