Chapter Text
Reason #1 why today wouldn't be a good day- It is raining.
Tommy watched the rain drops trickle down the car window as Phil brought him to school. The car was completely silent if not for the soft acoustic guitar that played from the speakers. The silence wasn't heavy, but it was there, and Tommy felt obligated to fill it, so he didn't understand why he didn't try to. Tommy desperately wished to be back in his bed right now.
Phil waved to his youngest son as he stepped out of the car. He told him that he loved him and to have a great day and that he'd see him later, he watched as his son smiled and waved back, Phil sighed contently.
Tommy's been getting very good at forcing smiles.
The school day had gone by in a blur. Tommy never felt like he was actually there, just more or less a passenger in his own body, just watching as the day slowly crept along. When the final bell rang, Tommy gathered his things out of his locker and went to wait for his oldest brother, Techno to come pick him up. Normally, Techno would be at school with Tommy but Techno was suspended. Techno had anger issues, he was diagnosed. Techno needed more of Phil's attention than he did.
It was raining today. Tommy stood under the small overhang with a few other students, all waiting to be picked up. He listened to the rain drops hit the metal overhead as he watched cars pull up and students leave, and eventually, he was the only one left. He waited 30 minutes before texting Techno.
Toms: Are you picking me up today?
Tech: no sry, dad took my keys
Tommy stared blankly down at his phone. He could walk, that would be fine. He stuffed his phone into his back pocket and started on his journey.
The walk was less than a mile, but it was raining today. The rain seemed to come down harder as Tommy started walking, it was almost funny, but Tommy didn't laugh. He didn't like the way his wet shirt clung to his body and chaffed at his skin, he didn't like how his socks were now wet from the puddles he couldn't avoid, or the fact that it was raining today.
As Tommy reached his house, he opted to go in through the back door, not wanting to track water throughout the carpeted hallways and living room. His hand jiggled the doorknob, but it didn't move. It was locked. He pulled his phone out again and texted Techno,
Toms: Can you let me in
Toms: Back door's locked
He waited for a response but he didn't get one, Techno must be asleep or something. He'd try Wilbur,
Toms: Can you let me in? The back door's locked
Wilby: ask techno
Tommy stared down at his phone for 3 full minutes before Wilbur texted him again,
Wilby: u in yet?
Toms: no
There was nothing else Tommy could really do other than wait. So he waited until the back door finally opened to reveal a half asleep Techno who was still in the process of stretching. Tommy waited for Techno to step out of the way, but he paused when he became awake and aware enough to see the rain coming down.
"Shit, sorry, didn't know it was raining." He commented, quickly moving out of the way. Tommy slowly trudged in, shoes squelching with every step. Tommy let his backpack slide off of his shoulder, it fell onto the tiled floor with a shlop. He cringed slightly when he realized all of his notebooks and papers here definitely ruined at this point.
"You feelin' okay, Toms?" Techno asked, noticing the boys odd demeanor.
"Yeah, I think I'm just tired." Tommy replied. He didn't like how his voice was so empty,
"You can talk to me if you need to," Techno offered,
Tommy thought about it for a second and debated whether or not he should answer, "I feel really numb." He finally responded, "and I don't know why?" he didn't like how his last statement sounded more like a question that a statement. It made him sound weak. He knew he was only feeling this way because of the rain. If it was sunny his day would've been better, but everyone get s a little sad on rainy days. There was nothing wrong with Tommy and if there was it was nothing he couldn't deal with by himself.
"You should tell Phil when he gets home."
"No." It was a simple response, Techno seemed taken aback by it at first, but eventually just shrugged his shoulders, Tommy knew Techno liked having his emotions and wishes respected, and Tommy wasn't actively hurting himself or others, so Techno most likely wouldn't care.
"Alright, your choice. Wilbur's watching TV in the living room if you wanna join but if I were you I'd change out of the wet clothes first." Tommy suddenly became extremely aware of the wet cloth that was sticking to his skin as Techno walked out of the kitchen, leaving Tommy alone.
But Tommy never made it upstairs, he doesn't know when he sank down to the ground, but he's there now. Why did he feel so heavy? He stared down at his hands for so long that his clothes were almost completely dry and his hair was barely damp. He felt unbelievably tired, but even after having his eyes closed for what felt like hours, he never drifted off.
Phil walked in, eyes falling on Tommy who only stared back at him with glassy eyes, "Tommy?" Phil called worryingly. It was loud enough and just urgent enough to get the attention of both Wilbur and Techno, who quickly made their way into the kitchen.
Phil crouched down to get on Tommy's level, "Tommy, what happened? Are you alright?" He asked, waiting for a response,
"I can't get up." Tommy whispered, he could feel the tears welling in the corners of his eyes as well as the emptiness etching away only to be replaced with an overwhelming sense of sadness and dread and everything that the rain carried in it's clouds,
"You're hurt?" Phil asked, very alarmed. His hands hovered over Tommy's body, afraid to touch him as if he'd break at the slightest breeze.
"Why am I so sad?" Tommy said with a voice crack,
"Oh Tommy," Phil cooed, wrapping the small boy in his arms, placing Tommy's head under his chin and carding his fingers through Tommy's curly locks. Tommy could almost feel his father frown when Tommy didn't move an inch as Phil held him.
"Is he having an episode like what I sometimes have?" Wilbur offered as a suggestion,
Wilbur was depressed. He was diagnosed and clinically depressed. Tommy was fine if it weren't for the rain. Wilbur need Phil's love far more than Tommy did. Wilbur would forget he was loved if he wasn't reminded often or given lots of hugs. Wilbur didn't go to school today because he couldn't get out of bed. Wilbur needed this hug more than Tommy did, and if he could find the strength to push Phil away, he definitely would have but he didn't. He knew, realistically, he could very well move if he needed to. But this wasn't a life or death situation, and Tommy sat unmoving in Phil's arms as silent tears rolled down his cheeks.
"I want to go to bed." Tommy whispered,
"It'll help you feel better if you stay around people, trust me." Wilbur said, but Tommy didn't really care.
"Can I go to bed?" He asked, Phil nodded and helped Tommy stand up but Tommy stopped and the base of the staircase. Stairs seemed like too much for right now.
"Are stairs too much right now?" Phil asked calmly, as if reading Tommy's mind. Tommy nodded slightly, but it was enough for Phil to see and understand. So Phil pulled out the softest blanket they had and the emergency pillow they kept in the living room and help Tommy settle in, kissing his head and telling him he'd be a yell away if Tommy needed anything that night. The living room became off limits, much like it had been in the past when Wilbur was too deep into a depressive episode to make it up the stairs, but it felt weird for Tommy to be in his place.
If only it hadn't rained that day.