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“You can’t just keep going to Beacon Hills and dragging people back here!” Angel protested and Spike snorted. He must admit, he had his eye on a couple of other people back there – the Sheriff was already close to moving to Portland, which just left the Wailing Woman really. Although, that Chris Argent could be a bit of alright in a fight – might come in handy. “Spike – are you even listening to me?”
“No, not really.” He turned to Derek who was still stood in the doorway like a statue. Or a vampire awaiting an invitation. Sniggering to himself at the in-joke, Spike gestured Derek forward with his hand. “Come in – he won’t bite – not unless you ask him real nice.”
“Spike – “
“He’s in a bit of a snit – him and the Slayer have finally got their heads out of their arses and broken up for good, so you two should have a lovely time trying to figure out which of you has the shittest taste in women,” Spike continued, performing an athletic jump over the sofa to avoid Angel’s swipe in his direction.
“SPIKE!”
“What? I’m just saying – this one here fell in love with the woman who massacred his family, then fell under the spell of a Darach,” he said, pointing to Derek who appeared to be trying to stake Spike with his eyes. “Ugly bitches them lot are.” He shuddered dramatically. “And this one got himself bitten by the biggest whore of several centuries, turned one of the looniest vampires to ever exist and then fell in love with his nemesis and went to hell for her. Right – that’s introductions over and done with – got anything to eat?”
Ignoring the stunned silence behind him, Spike headed towards the kitchen.
“Don’t touch my blood!” Angel yelled behind him, and Spike turned around.
“Oh, he’s more of a raw steak kinda guy, aren’t ya Derek? That should sort out crap like being a considerate room-mate. You won’t have to put up with him burning perfectly good food the way Xander and Willow do. Drives me barmy the way they ruin steak, it does. So, yeah – don’t touch his hair products, don’t shed on the furniture and no humping his leg until he says it’s okay – we got rid of that fuckin’ stupid happiness clause so have at it otherwise!”
“I – “
“Spike! I’m sorry, Derek – he has no filter or brains – it makes for an embarrassing combination,” Angel said, grabbing Derek’s bag and leading him towards the spare bedroom. “You are, of course, completely welcome to stay here for as long as you need. It’s not much – “
“I lived in the burnt out ruins of my family home and then an abandoned train-car – I don’t think sharing an apartment with you will be a problem,” Derek replied.
Rubbing his hands together, Spike continued on his way to the kitchen – he and Stiles had a bet going as to who was the broodiest of these two. Game on.