Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

1.

Why did fighting in an intergalactic war against an alien race seem so much easier than falling asleep? Keith wonders, lying on his bed & staring up at the cold metal ceiling. He’s always been like this, felt like he always needed to be ready to drop everything & run the second that things went to shit in his life like they always seemed to do but no matter what, he knew it was impossible to out run his own demons that grew in aftermaths of his past, they followed him everywhere he went. Training usually distracted Keith enough though, it helped calm his nerves. It was easier to focus on just one simple thing, a moving practice target he could take everything out on as much as he wanted for hours on end until he passed out rather than to waste all that time alone with his thoughts that constantly left him confused after they slipped away but then came back again in cycles, so many centered around his long gone family, Shiro when he went missing during the Kerberos mission, leaving the Garrison to live in the desert, & now, his place on Voltron to save the entire universe but especially-

Feeling his heart start to race, he instantly shot up from bed and decided to head over to the training deck, no one should be up for the next few hours anyways since according to PST (Pidge’s Standard Time) it was around 2 in the morning. Still taking precaution as to not wake someone up, especially Shiro, Keith stealthily moved down the long hallways of the ship.

As much as the black paladin had advised him to take time to rest because, “It’d be good for you, Keith. Trust me. Making sure that the heart and mind are as in shape as your body is important.” Keith couldn’t help it, training was a way to prevent the nightmares but deep down he knew he was probably over doing it lately & it was worrying Shiro. Countless hours up to the point he couldn’t keep track of what day it was would go by without him noticing, he's missed their team dinners more frequently & Lance was usually the one that knocked on his door a little later to drop by with some leftovers.

Ugh, there was that one other thing he never tried to let himself think about. Lance.

As much as Keith had gotten good at pushing down everything else in his life that got to him, locked it all away in the back of his head, the one thing he couldn’t seem to get a grip on was how often the blue paladin had been on his mind since the start of this whole space lion robot journey.

He couldn’t pinpoint exactly when things started to feel different for him but maybe it was during that stupid bonding moment that Lance claims he doesn’t remember or maybe it was that one time Lance had placed his hand & forehead right against Keith’s to check if he had a fever on a day where he was acting “extra grumpy." The blue paladin was so close to him, he could feel the warmth of his breath against his face or maybe it was the time where Lance had successfully pinned him down during a sparring session for the first time & he had to look up at the blue eyed boy above him that had such a playful grin plastered on his stupid cute face or no, maybe it was the time where-

Fuck. Keith froze in place, realizing that he was doing it again.

Somehow, he made himself believe that this was Lance’s fault, it had to be Lance’s fault, it always was. Lance being able to get under his skin & get some sort of kick out of him even without actually being in the same room was just a new level of torture he had to have devised just to mess with him. Maybe it was Lance’s fault because of how annoying and loud he usually was around Keith in the first place. He was always making fun of his hair or his height, always flirting with every female looking alien on every planet that they visited, always snapping at Keith out of nowhere when he hadn’t been doing anything to rile him up, always talking about himself & his good looks & his skin care routine & always challenging him with these stupid made up contests that didn’t make any sense but had successfully goaded Keith enough to join in every time - the consistency of these piled up irritations rolled up into one person out of the only six he saw on a daily basis drove him insane but even so, Keith somehow found something constant in his life - Lance - & he never had anything quite as comforting or familiar as that before, even though he’d never admit that to the blue paladin or to anyone else ever.

After Lance had stubbornly broke into his defenses, he was tearing down the walls Keith had built up around his heart for years with every light hearted laugh, every kind smile, & even every little touch - just the brushing of their fingers in the hallways, the sudden placement of Lance’s hand on his shoulder, the way Lance would just-

FUCK. He catches himself again. God, what the fuck is wrong with me?

Keith is just glad he had built up as many walls as he did because Lance was breaking through, getting closer to worming himself permanently into Keith’s heart every second with ease & he didn’t even know.

Keith stood right in front of the training deck's doors, just about to place his hand on the scanning pad when he heard noise coming from the other side.

“& take... that! & some of this-!”

“C’mon, is that all you got!?”

Speak of the devil.

He knew whose voice that belonged to anywhere. Keith quietly entered and saw Lance with his back turned against the door. He hadn’t heard Keith come in & seemed focused on the training bot that was about to charge at him. Keith watched the blue paladin dash towards his opponent, bayard in hand. Just as the training bot was about to strike Lance down with his weapon, he had dodged it completely & strategically rolled further away from it on the floor as his bayard materialized into the riffle he used in battle. Lance pulled the trigger before the opponent even had time to turn its head towards him, the shot went straight through the training bot’s chest. Keith’s heart pounded as he watched Lance take down three more opponents that had been programmed to attack Lance on higher-level settings and held his breath when Lance finally took out the last training bot with a clean shot to the head. 

A strange sense of fondness for the blue paladin washed over him & Keith couldn’t help but let out a loud slow clap to show he was impressed.

Lance jolted at the sound & turned his head towards Keith at lightning speed, the pure focus on his face from training completely dissolved. “Jesus, Keith! Warn a guy next time!” Lance said flustered & out of breath, walking over to where Keith had been standing. His cheeks red as sweat trickled down his glowing tan skin. His brown hair was disheveled & Keith fought the urge to reach out & run his fingers through it. “You’re improving.” Keith smiled but then instantly regretted saying it out loud because Lance flashed him one of his signature cocky McClain smirks. “Wow, the Great Keith Kogane is so impressed, he’s actually complimenting me?” Keith let out a huff & rolled his eyes in response. “Careful, I might take it back.” He tried to glare but couldn’t quite cover up his amusement. “Plus, nobody would believe you if you told them.” He added looking back up at the taller boy. Lance smiled at him warmly, not taking the bait. “It’s late, what are you doing here, Keith?” He asked, softly. “Well, I guess the same as you.” Keith gestured towards the rest of the training deck. “Wanna spar?”

Lance laughed. “Uh, dude! C’mon! I know you just watched me take down like 15 training bots & break a new record, I’m beat! It would be a totally unfair advantage!” Keith raised an eyebrow at his answer. “I’m pretty sure you only took down 4 bots & even if you just got up from one of your beauty naps, you’d still find your shot against me pretty unfair.” Keith taunted, walking past him to get to the deck’s center. Lance’s demeanor suddenly flipped a whole 180 & now he had that competitive spark lit up, quickly dousing into flames that Keith had fallen in lo-

that Keith had gotten used to... and found annoying.

“Did you just-! Oh, no way! Come at me, bro!” Lance said, already charging towards Keith without warning while the red paladin’s back was still turned. Ugh, what a cheater. He smiled to himself. Guess hand to hand combat it was. Keith swiftly turned and dodged the upcoming attack before going in full force on his opponent. He had landed a solid punch into Lance’s stomach & a kick to his side that Lance was too slow to block before the blue paladin got in an actual hit. Every time Lance swung his arms up without any thought-out plan, Keith waited for the perfect moment to dodge and strike back while the taller boy’s defenses were low. After Lance had unsuccessfully blocked another one of Keith’s punches, Keith let out a laugh when he heard the boy’s gasp from the contact & squeaked.

“Wow, you really do enjoy beating the shit out of me, huh? Quit laughing, you asshole!” Lance growled and grabbed a hold of Keith, tackling him to the ground. Keith was still laughing as he was pinned down by the blue-eyed boy towering over him with red cheeks, frowning.

~

“Y-you...” Keith was losing his shit for no apparent reason. He tried to compose himself before meeting Lance’s eyes. “You’re just... so ridiculous.” Keith said under his breath, smiling. Their eyes were still locked together when he had said it. Lance was now aware of how hard his heart was pounding, unsure if it was just from all the late-night sparring or because the boy below him had just given him the softest smile that he’s ever seen in his life. Lance hadn’t noticed how his body had started to lean in closer to the smaller boy’s face on its own, slowly closing the distance between them. Keith’s annoyingly pretty eyelashes seemed to flutter, eyelids heavy & looking ready to shut. Their foreheads were touching now, they were so close that they could feel each other’s warm breath hit their face.

Lance’s hands seemed to tremble as he slowly undid his grip around Keith’s wrists & instead reached up to intertwine his fingers with the other boy’s smaller ones. Neither of them said anything, their eyes still locked on one another, never daring to break away from the gaze. It’s as if they both knew that even the slightest of movement would shatter the magic. Lance wanted to close the gap, he wanted to it so badly. He seemed so close to getting what he’s always wanted, so close to soothing the hidden aching in his chest that he had never shown the others for years, not like anyone would have noticed either way. Lance was so sure that no one was watching, so sure that no one paid him any attention, not enough to look past that thin wall of false bravado & cockiness he hid behind. Knowing that what people had seen of him from the surface level & at a glance were already too much, he never dared to let anything that was real bleed through. At least at first, that’s what he had thought until Keith Kogane came along & ruined his life.

Keith with his better-than-you attitude. Keith with his naturally gifted ability to be the best at everything he did without even trying. Keith with that stupidly soft looking STUPID mullet he never combed. Keith with his stupid fingerless gloves & his red cropped jacket that Lance had secretly tried on once that was surprisingly comfy. Keith who had flawless smooth skin but only used BAR SOAP. God, Lance couldn’t stand this guy.

He couldn’t stand how since the Garrison he had been nothing to his rival than a shadow who hadn’t even remembered his name when they reunited while saving Shiro after a year. He couldn’t stand the fact that Keith would beat him at every stupid challenge that HE made up himself & still lost. He couldn’t stand how soft Keith’s features actually were underneath all those death giving glares the one time he had seen when Keith accidentally fall asleep on the couch. He hated how indifferent Keith could be at times but he hated even more how every rare smile that appeared on Keith’s face for even just a second would make Lance’s stomach do backflips.

Past the rivalry he built up with the red paladin, past all the times that Keith seemed to piss him off when Lance knew he wasn’t even doing anything but still snapped at him anyways, past all the times he watched Keith leave & felt this deeply dug up hole in him grow, he had realized that he never actually hated Keith. Lance realized that it had always been just a stupid crush that he was so desperately trying to cover up like a middle schooler. Then, Keith basically ruined his life further when Lance realized it wasn’t just a stupid crush he had like on all the other alien & non-alien girls he met at all. Lance realized that after the hundreds of battles where Keith had always had his back, the thousands of times Keith was the first to greet him after waking up in a healing pod, & the countless number of times Keith had encouraged him that he was a vital member of the team & that he was so much more than he could ever see, Lance realized that he loved Keith.

As in, he was IN LOVE with Keith & like, a lot.

He was deeply in love with Keith Kogane & it was ruining his life & it was that stupid mullet’s fault for being so-

Lance blinked, bringing himself back into the present moment. The raven-haired boy was still looking up at him with that warm fuzzy expression on his face & a hint of smallest smile forming at the corners of his mouth.

Perfect.

Lance flinches at the thought & begins pulling himself together. He stood up, flustered but held his hand out to the red paladin who was still on the floor, arms propping him up & looking at Lance, hesitant before Keith let the taller boy help him up without saying anything. Lance had ruined the past midnight magic but didn’t want their night to end on an awkward note. “Hey, guess what?” Lance felt his smile growing as he invaded the red paladin’s space. “I win.” He whispers into Keith’s ear teasingly. Lance pulled away to look at the raven-haired boy who was now turning red. “You... cheated.” Keith mumbled, crossing his arms against his chest. “Hey! You laughing because you were having fun kicking my ass is not cheating!” Lance argued, his arms flailing. “So, you admit that I kicked your ass?” Keith retorted, amused. “Oh, nu-uh! I beat you fair and square, mullet head!” Lance screeched, gesturing to the training deck wildly.

~

Keith blamed the next laugh that escaped him after hearing the taller boy’s response on his lack of sleep this time. “Wha-Why are you so giggly tonight all of a sudden? What’s so funny?” The blue paladin squawked. Keith shook his head. “It’s nothing.” He replied but then Lance was suddenly invading his space. Before he realized what was going on, his shirt was being used as a towel to wipe sweat off the taller boy’s face. “Stop it!” Keith screeched, pushing the boy off him but then heard one of Lance‘s light hearted laughs.

Fuck. Keith felt another one of his inner walls completely crumble into the dust from it.

He looked up at Lance who still stood there, smiling & looking at Keith like he was the most amazing thing he’s ever discovered in the universe & knew he had to gay- uh, go.

Lance twisted the fabric of his own shirt to wring more sweat out but heard Keith’s footsteps grow further away. “Whoa, you’re actually leaving already?” Lance called out to him from the hallway. Why did mullet head always have to be so quick on his feet? “That’s the shortest amount of time I’ve seen you train!” Keith only turned his head briefly to look back at the boy while he stood by the doorway. Keith felt his heart swell and the weird ooey gooey mess inside of him appeared just like it always did when Lance was around.

“What can I say? Being around you wears me out.” Keith teased before he left, hoping he had gotten out in time before Lance noticed the deep shade of red rapidly spreading across his face was not just from exhaustion. If Lance had seen how hard Keith was blushing right now, he would have never let him live it down.

Chapter Text

2.

It was another sleepless night. Keith couldn’t help but replay the stupid scenes in his head he had with Lance a few nights ago over & over again. There was something very intimate about the way Lance had intertwined their fingers together, right? He wasn’t being crazy? Keith was never that good at making friends to begin with but even now, after getting Shiro back & bonding with his other team members, he never saw any of them hold hands. Keith never categorized hand holding into something only friends would do but then Lance & him had done it & he had to believe they were at least friends, right? I mean, yeah, he was pinned down to the ground during a sparring session but Lance had been the one that let go of Keith’s wrists to slide their fingers together so it was basically the same thing! Keith was stuck frantically trying to draw a conclusion. Ugh, this is exactly why he hated thinking about this kinda stuff! He knew that if he thought too much before he acted, he’d just freeze in place forever, unsure of whether or not something he wanted to do was really the right thing or the best thing to do and all that shit. He hated the fact that little things like what hand holding meant seemed so easy to understand for everyone else except him & he didn’t want to look stupid if he asked for help. Seriously, the way Keith handled problems was so much easier & straightforward. He used his instincts in every situation & they had never let him down. I mean, he was still alive & that was basically one of his only standards.

Anyways,

Yeah, the hand holding thing was weird, right? He meant that, um, not like it felt weird because he actually thought it felt nice but-! It was just weird because Lance did that with HIM.... yeah, that’s what was weird. Yeah.

Lance is weird.

Keith drew this as his final conclusion before getting up to go to the kitchen for a glass of water. His head had been pounding for most of the day, unsure if it was from all the hand holding related thoughts or from the fact that he had just gotten out of a healing pod a few hours ago after a Galra solider had slammed his head into the floor during a mission so hard that his skull had cracked. I mean, yeah, it’s probably just from that. He thought to himself as he reached the lounge that was along the way. His focus on trying to sort out his spiralling thoughts came instantly to a halt when he heard the faintest sound of sniffling coming from somewhere in the dark. Keith held his breath & scanned his surroundings & was quickly able to spot a small visible lump on the couch thanks to the stars outside that helped dimly illuminate the room. Keith stepped forward slowly & in complete silence to get closer to the couch & the soft muffled sounds coming from it made his heart break in two. It was Lance.

The boy was sitting up with his knees tucked into his chest & his head resting down on top of them. When Keith was closer, he noticed how much the usually boisterous boy’s whole body was shaking & thought about how hard Lance must’ve been biting down on his lip to hold in his sobs. How long has he been sitting here? Keith knew he was probably the last person Lance would want to talk to but he couldn’t just stand there & pretend he didn't noticed. He always noticed.

“Lance...?” Keith whispered, not wanting to alarm him. He heard Lance’s breath hitch. Keith stood in front of the couch now, unsure whether or not Lance wanted him to get closer or just leave because the boy’s head was still tucked & hidden away in the same position he’d been in since Keith found him. After a few seconds, Keith tried again. “Lance.” He whispered, kneeling in front of the couch to be more leveled with the other boy but felt himself jolt when the blue paladin’s head suddenly shot up to look at him. “Keith!” A wide smile plastered across his face which Keith didn't like because he knew it was fake. “Hi.” Keith replied, awkwardly gesturing towards the couch, asking if he could sit beside him. “Yeah, buddy, make yourself at home. There’s a lot of space out here!” Lance laughed but Keith had caught the hoarseness in his voice. “Get it? Space!” Lance pointed to the ship’s glass windows that surrounded a side of the room, still wearing that stupid fake smile on his face. It pissed Keith off because he wondered if Lance really thought he was stupid enough to buy it. As the red paladin sat down, Lance instantly started doing what he always did: talk. The blue eyed boy liked to rambled on about meaningless things during times like these as if it would be enough to distract Keith from whatever he had just suddenly walked in on. He sped through conversations about all the ships he took out during their missions or an alien girl he had somehow convinced himself he wooed over. This time Keith had watched as Lance had switched the topic three times in the last 10 seconds before saying anything else. Keith placed a hand on Lance’s knee & it instantly shut him up.

“Lance, look at me.” Keith softly pleaded when Lance’s eyes seemed to bounce around the room in every direction except Keith’s. The raven-haired boy rubbed his thumb in slow soothing circles against the knee he had placed his hand on. Lance still wouldn’t look at him but the fake smile had dropped from his face & he was no longer rambling. “Do you... Keith leaned in closer. “Want to talk about it?” He whispered. He caught something in Lance’s eyes flicker before dying out almost instantly. The blue paladin hummed softly. “I thought you were always telling me to shut up.” Keith winced when Lance recited his own words back to him.

~

Keith’s lack of response instantly worried Lance. Had he said something stupid again? He just wanted to lighten the mood & bring back the dumb banter they always had together to just get over the fact that Keith Kogane, Star pilot of the Garrison fighter class, his longtime rival & the boy he’s had a crush on for almost half his life had just walked in on him crying. Lance was already feeling pathetic & now he had to feel embarrassed too. He came here in the middle of the night to be alone. He didn’t want to bother anybody with his unbearable homesickness & self-deprecating thoughts. “Um, sorry I just meant- “

“I want you to talk to me.” Keith cut him off. Lance’s eyes widened with surprise, unsure if was he... kidding? That wouldn’t be funny, it would just be cruel. “Uh...” Lance couldn’t form a better response than that since he was torn between thanking the boy, accusing Keith of just messing with him or just making another joke out of all of this but when Lance finally met Keith’s eyes, it was nothing but full of sincerity. The raven-haired boy always seemed able to look right through him & Lance was too tired to pretend anymore so he turned his body towards Keith & placed his head into the crook of the smaller boy’s shoulder. There was an awkwardly large amount of space between their two bodies but he didn’t care, he just didn’t want Keith to see his face when the tears started to trickle down his cheeks again. He kept his eyes shut tight but felt when Keith had adjusted their positions by creating a small space between his legs then easily pulled Lance in closer for a better embrace. Lance hiccupped into his sobs as he felt Keith place a hand on his back & started to move it up & down in a slow gentle motion. “Keith...?” Lance heard the little crack in his voice. “Mm?” The smaller boy responded, quietly. He felt the red paladin begin tracing little patterns with his finger on his back, Keith’s head was also tucked into Lance’s shoulder & Lance’s heart stopped when he felt the other boy’s breath graze his ear. “I’m just... sad...” Lance tightened his grip on Keith’s shirt. “You know...? About my family... I just- they're so far away... & I miss them so much. I just wish... I just want to go home, Keith.” Lance choked out, not caring how selfish he might look to Keith but in reality, that couldn’t be further from the truth, Keith didn’t think he was selfish at all for missing his family, instead having Lance in his arms, vulnerable & fragile, just reminded Keith how much faster he wanted to win this war. He was going to make sure he’d bring Lance back home to his family. He was going to make sure that all of Lance’s smiles never made him second guess whether or not they were real because when the boy was finally home, he’d know Lance wouldn’t have anything to hurt over anymore to hide behind a fake one.

“I know you do... & it’s okay to miss them...” Keith tried to find comforting words, wondering what Shiro might say if he was the one talking. That was another thing Keith admired the older boy for. He also wished talking to other people came easier like it did for him, the skill would’ve really come in handy right now when the only boy who gave him dreams was wrapped around in his arms & worried that there wasn’t enough he could do to make the boy happy. He felt Lance weakly nod. Keith pulled their bodies apart so that he could face him and placed his hands on the sides of Lance’s face so he couldn’t look away. Keith wanted to make sure Lance, as wide eyed as he was right now, was listening. He took a deep breath.

“Lance, I promise. We are going to win this war & I’ll do it all on my own if I have to. I am going to bring you back home to your family. I am going to bring you back to the ocean you grew up by that you never shut up about & I promise that I’ll keep you safe until then, okay?” The determination in Keith’s assuring words never faltered, Lance needed to know he meant all of it. He saw the tears forming in the blue paladin’s eyes & hoped that they weren’t out of misunderstanding from Keith’s words so he continued. “I will always have your back whether it’s out there on the battlefield or not, it doesn’t matter because I’ll always...” Keith trailed off, his words were tightening in his throat when he noticed how Lance was looking at him so earnestly. Keith coughed & looked away. “I just wanted you to know... that’s how I um, ...felt.” He inwardly cringed at his awkwardly ended motivational speech & had forgotten his hands were still gripped on the sides of Lance’s face until he felt the other boy place his own hands on top of Keith’s & guided both their hands away from his face & onto the taller boy’s lap. Was this still a friend thing? Did friends do these things? Keith looked up & completely forgot about the complications of platonic hand holding when he saw the look on Lance’s face. He wasn’t sure if he had ever seen Lance look at him or anybody else like that before. His eyes seemed hazy but somehow solely focused onto Keith alone, as if there was nothing else in the universe except him. The smaller boy’s throat went dry underneath the blue paladin's gaze. A light shade of red spread across the boy’s cheeks. Lance’s smile was so kind & so blinding, Keith couldn't look away. The taller boy didn’t need to say anything in return. The red paladin already understood all the things Lance wanted to tell him but couldn’t possibly put into words with just that look on his face alone & Keith still couldn't believe he had been the one to put it there. While his heart raced with excitement, Keith felt like he somehow didn’t deserve it. The smaller boy felt the sudden loss of warmth from one of Lance’s hands on his but watched as Lance reached out to run his fingers through Keith’s hair instead. “Does your head still hurt?” Lance asked, softly. Keith leaned into the boy’s touch. “Mm, just a little.” Keith’s eyes shut from the contact, it actually felt really nice. “I was just gonna get some water.” He murmured. Lance pulled him back into another embrace & continued playing with the boy’s dark hair. Keith rested his head on Lance’s shoulders & slowly wrapped his arms around the taller boy’s waist. He knew they’ve never been this close before & he wasn’t ready for it to just go back to the constant bickering between them in the morning. He wished for a moment, that time would stop & he could be selfish.

~

“Hey,” Lance whispers to him. “Yeah?” Keith replies, this time Lance wouldn’t let the past midnight magic between them end just yet. “I know where Hunk stores the rest of those cookies the Almorites gave us the other day after we freed their planet.” Lance whispers back, knowing of Keith’s secret & disastrous sweet tooth. Keith gasped & pulled away from him and Lance caught the way the raven-haired boy’s eyes lit up after hearing the intel. “Lance, we need to go there like, right now.” He was looking at him dead in the eye & Lance let out a laugh. “What are we waiting for then?” Lance broke away & stood up. Keith looked up at him hesitantly from the couch. “Are you feeling any better?” Keith asked, quietly with a worried look on his face. “Much better.” Lance smiled & extended a hand towards the smaller boy. Keith took it to pull himself back onto his feet.

“& Keith,” Lance whispered to him as they made their way to the kitchen. The smaller boy turned his head to look at him. “Thank you.” The blue eyed boy smiled.

Their fingers were still intertwined.

Chapter Text

3.

“Oh good! You’re here on time!” Lance exclaimed; his door slid open after Keith’s first knock. He grabbed the smaller boy by the wrist and dragged him inside. “Mi casa, tu casa.” He gestured to the room in front of them. Its layout structure was similar to Keith’s but Lance’s shelves were full of tiny trinkets & souvenirs he brought back to the ship from all the planets they visited on past missions. He even had some little potted alien plant on his table as well as a few pictures taped to the wall. Seeing his own face in a photo surrounded by the whole team made Keith smile but it had quickly dropped when he spotted the line up of weird assorted bottles lying on top of Lance’s bed. The taller boy was already gesturing for him to get closer & told him to take a seat on the floor in front of him. Lance began to pull up & compare bottles by holding them out beside Keith’s face.

“Why am I letting you do this to me again...?” Keith mumbled, furrowing his brows. “You told me that you could eat more food goop than me in under 5 minutes & I won.” Lance chimed, seeming to finally settle on one of the bottles. The creamy liquid was held in a light blue container & when Lance pumped out some of its contents into his own hand, Keith seemed to appreciate the flowery scent. “Actually, you should probably pull your hair up. You don’t want some of this stuff to get stuck in your mullet.” Lance teased him, already leaning forward. Keith glared but obeyed, tying his hair up with a rubber band he kept on his wrist sometimes. Lance placed a hand to Keith’s chin to tilt his head up & saw Keith suddenly flinch. “You okay?” Lance watched as Keith relaxed then closed his eyes just like he instructed the boy to do earlier when he was explaining the process. “Is it... really not going to... um, hurt?” Keith asked, nervously under his breath. Lance let out a soft laugh & shook his head. “You are willing to single handedly take down a whole Galra ship on your own but you’re scared of a little face mask?” He saw Keith pout, still keeping his eyes closed. Cute. Lance thought to himself. “I promise it won’t hurt, okay?” He reassured Keith, applying the first thin layer of the blue substance to the smaller boy’s face.

While Keith’s eyes were closed, Lance shamelessly enjoyed the view in front of him. He giggled to himself every time he added another coat of face cream then gaged the other boy’s reaction. The first contact of the substance to Keith’s face caused him to squeeze his eyes tighter, Lance made sure to choose a bottle from his collection that would suit Keith’s skin type & this one had an extra cooling effect that guaranteed a smooth finish! After Lance had applied the cream to the base areas of the boy’s face, Keith seemed to have gotten used to the feeling & even leaned into Lance’s touch. “It smells nice.” Keith stated, quietly & Lance smiled. He was happy he was able to do something like this with Keith even though it was only because mullet head had lost a bet. It reminded him of sleepovers he had with his two older sisters that always used him as their test subject for new products or new make up looks they wanted to try after watching tutorials online. Lance wondered if he could somehow convince Keith to let him put make up on his face if he lost another bet. Lance looked at the boy in front of him again thoughtfully & wondered why the fuck he was able to still look so good with his bangs pushed back & the rest of it up in a messy ponytail.

~

Actually, Keith never lost that bet. He may have just... purposely chewed a bit slower when Lance declared that if he lost, Keith would have to come over to his room later that night & spend time with him. Well, those weren’t Lance’s exact words & he did mention having to wear a face mask somewhere in there but that wasn’t really the point. Keith had purposely lost because he wanted to spend time with Lance but knew it would be way too awkward to just approach him & ask so sue him. Heh, who’s the real winner here, sharpshooter? Keith smiled to himself but then felt another cold dab of the weird cream being rubbed onto his forehead. Keith wanted to ask how long it would take just to break the silence between them but just listening to Lance hum softly as he worked on the mask was quite comforting & Keith didn’t want to waste their bonding moment by forlornly counting down the minutes until it was over if he knew the answer. Maybe doing face masks like Lance instead of training would be a better distraction. Keith laughed softly at the thought.

“What’s so funny, Samurai?” Lance asked him & Keith felt the other boy’s hands pull away without returning. Keith didn’t respond, unsure if he was allowed to. “Oh yeah, you can actually open your eyes now by the way! & you can talk but don’t try to move your facial muscles around too much, we need the mask to dry first & then we gotta wait it out!” Lance said excitedly. Keith slowly opened his eyes, trying to readjust to the light in Lance’s room but then noticed that the other boy’s face was closer to him than he had thought. Keith gulped. The blue paladin had visibly lit up when their eyes met & there was a playful smile on his face. “How does it feel?” Lance asked him, softly. “Uh, weird?” Keith replied, trying not to furrow his brows. “But kind of okay.” Lance nodded & Keith watched him closely as the other boy turned to pick up a hand mirror & began applying some of the cream onto his own skin. Keith couldn’t really think of anything interesting to say but he was perfectly content with just watching Lance do his routine. He caught the taller boy staring at him through the mirror. “What?” He asked, turning back to look at Keith. “How do you know about all this stuff?” The raven haired boy gestured to the goop on their faces. Lance shrugged. “My sisters liked to test out stuff they saw in magazines on me when we’d hang out, it was fun!” He smiled, adding another layer of cream on his own nose bridge. “It does sound fun.” Keith gave him a small smile in return.

~

Lance flopped onto his bed after setting up a timer while Keith had helped him move all the other bottles off the bed & onto the table. He gestured for Keith to come join him when he saw the smaller boy about to sit back down on the floor. Seeing Keith here in his room in the closest thing he’s seen the boy wear to pajamas with his long hair pulled up & on top of that, a face mask that he had willingly let Lance apply on him, the taller boy thought he was going to combust. He’s had butterflies in his stomach the second he had pulled Keith into his room. He knew he answered the door way too quickly after he had heard Keith knock but he just never expected the boy to actually show up & spend time to do some skin care with him. He just didn’t want to spare the boy even a second to rethink his decision. Ugh, not smooth, Lance! Not smooth at all! He had really tried to play things off casually & was going to rely on their usual banter but Keith looked so completely out of his element but was trying so hard, Lance didn’t have the heart to poke fun at him. The best he could do was be patient with the other boy & explain all his routine’s steps to him. He knew Keith didn’t actually give a shit about the different effects of what skin products could do but he appreciated that Keith was here & that he was listening. It meant so much more to Lance than the raven haired boy would ever know.

Keith always made him feel so many things all at once, it was hard to explain. Keith having his back & telling him not to second guess himself had helped him build up confidence. Keith reminding Lance that he needed him made the blue paladin feel strong and determined in battle but most of all, Keith inspired him. Ever since their Garrison days, as much as he hated his stupid mullet & stuck up attitude, Lance just wanted to prove to the guy that he could beat him. He always just wanted to prove he could be worthy too. Worthy of fighter class, worthy of being a paladin of Voltron. He didn’t want to walk in Keith’s shadow forever, he wanted to prove that he was enough for them to be seen as equals. He wanted to walk beside Keith, he wanted Keith to look at him.

& now here they were in Lance’s room. The boy that Lance knew he would chase across the galaxy for was sitting on his bed that was in the middle of space in a magic castle space ship, looking at him with those unfairly striking iridescent eyes that had all the girls back at the Garrison swooning over.

God, why do even your eyelashes have to be so pretty?

“What?” Keith couldn’t help but raise his eyebrows through the hardening face mask. Oh shit, Lance had said that out loud, didn’t he? “Um,” Lance was internally screaming at himself to come up with something & quick. “I said that spending time with you isn’t that shitty.” Lance gasped at his own words as soon as they came tumbling out on their own, but Lance was actually left speechless after what happened next. Keith giggled. Tough Guy, Keith Touch-Me-And-I’ll-Kill-You Kogane, had fucking giggled. Oh my god, this is ten times better than that one time you asked Amanda Bryce in 4th grade if she wanted to be lab partners & she said yes. He watched Keith tuck a loose strand of hair behind his ear. “That was a pretty good save but,” Keith leaned into Lance’s space & the taller boy felt his back starting to get pressed against the wall. “I think you said something along the lines about my eyelashes being pretty?” Keith flashed him a shit eating smirk. God, that fucker had heard me.

The timer had gone off before Lance could say anything else, but Keith hadn’t moved away to get up. Lance was lying on the bed with his elbows propping him up but Keith hovered above him, his hands placed on either side by Lance’s torso while both their faces were still covered by the hardened masks. “Hey, Buddy?” Lance squeaked out. His heart was beating so fast, god, stupid mullet head was going to kill him. “Mm?” He murmured back, a sly small smile played on his lips. “The... uh, masks...” Lance laughed, nervously. Ugh, Keith had heard his stupid compliment & now he was never going to let him live it down but he watched the boy seem to snap out of the trance he was in & pull himself back. “Oh. Right.” Keith responded with a faint dust of red on his cheeks, as he got up & then awkwardly followed Lance to the bathroom.

~

“Okay, We actually have two options to take these masks off!” Lance informed him, excitedly. “The normal rinse & wipe way or... something a bit more... fun!” Both boys now stood beside each other in front of the bathroom sink & Keith couldn’t believe how effortlessly domestic they looked. As if they had been living together for years now & this was just part of their nightly routine before they headed to bed - their bed - which they shared & cuddled & kissed in & even-

Keith felt his cheeks burn & snapped himself out of it. “What do you mean...?” Keith asked, warily. Lance reached out & placed a hand on Keith’s cheek almost lovingly, this made his heart start to race all over again. “Like this.” The taller boy smiled too innocently before pinching a bit of the other boy’s mask peeling off on its own between his fingers & ripped it away hard. Keith screeched, completely caught off guard & Lance was laughing so hard he wheezed. “You said this wouldn’t hurt, you asshole! I trusted you!” The smaller boy shouted but the newly exposed area of Keith’s usually pale skin was bright red after the surprise tear away. “I know, buddy! I’m sorry!” Lance was still laughing, but then noticed the little tears that seemed to form in the corners of Keith’s eyes. Oh shit, maybe I took it too far. Lance tried to lean in to get a better look. “Oh man... Hey, I’m sorry it was just a harmless joke, I didn’t mean to-“ Lance’s apology was cut off by his own scream. Keith & his stupidly fast reflexes had given himself enough time to find a small patch from Lance’s mask that was easy to peel off too. Keith was the one laughing now as Lance rubbed the soreness around his exposed cheek. “You’re right, that is pretty funny.” The red paladin flashed him a boyish grin. “Ok, hotshot I admit I deserved that but hold still now.” Lance held both his hands up to surrender but Keith didn’t buy it & did his signature crossing of his arms against his chest that Lance wished he didn’t find so attractive. “Keith, seriously.” Lance began to run warm water from the tap. “As much as we both know I like to mess around, this stuff is pretty strong. I wouldn’t want to accidentally rip your eyebrows off, you know?” The smaller boy’s face went pale in shock. Keith brought down his guarded position but still suspicious. He had no idea that flowery scented face cream could harden so pressed into his face that removing it would be like ripping off duct tape. “Here, we can do it this way. I just couldn't let this golden opportunity to tease you go to waste!” Lance laughed, handing him one of the face towels he had in his hand. Lance guided Keith on how to painlessly remove the rest of the mask using warm water & dabbing their faces lightly with the towel to dry themselves up.

“Ta-da!” Lance said, doing jazz hands to Keith’s face while they still stood in front of the bathroom mirror. Keith honestly couldn’t see much of a difference in his physical appearance but he guessed that the mask had made his face feel a little softer when he touched it? He wasn’t sure but Lance was beaming and if this is what made the boy happy, then Keith was perfectly content with that. Keith smiled shyly, unsure of what they were going to do next or if he should leave. If it were up to him, he wanted to be with Lance a little longer... “Well, I guess that’s it for you! It was supposed to be a punishment after you lost our bet but I hope you enjoyed it... at least a little?” Lance asked him, laughing but obviously nervous. Keith nodded but watched as Lance grabbed another bottle from the desk that they hadn’t used. “Uh,” Keith uttered in confusion. “Wait, are you applying another mask after the one we just did?”

“Oh yeah! My um, routine is actually a little longer than just the mask we did together but I didn’t wanna overwhelm you, man.” Lance shrugged. “So I thought we could just settle for doing one of the steps. I wanted it to be a punishment for you, not a torture session.” He laughed again. Keith knew this was his chance! “Oh, um...” Keith responded. He was halfway there. “I actually thought it was nice. I wouldn’t mind if... uh...” Keith watched Lance’s eyes widened, worried he was overstepping or something. “You... want to do the rest of the skin care routine with me?” Lance’s jaw dropped in shock. “I mean, I get if you don’t want me to intrude on your... uh, what do you call it? Self love session?” Keith tried to shrug it off casually but Lance rapidly shook his head. “Nah, dude! This is gonna be fun!” He was grinning now, ear to ear. “C’mon, get your ass over here!” He gestured for Keith to sit beside him on the bed, already starting to add some of the new cream to his face. “This one is for tightening, like I said, the bottles are for all kinds of different effects and stuff on your skin!” Lance beamed as the boy took a seat on his bed & sat crossed legged in front of him. “Here, why don’t you actually dip your finger into it?” The taller boy laughed as he gently wrapped his hand around Keith's wrist to guide his finger to the bottle’s little nozzle & squirted a bit of the possibly vanilla scented cream out.

The raven haired boy looked at his now cream covered finger curiously, eyebrows all furrowed & Lance couldn’t help but think of how seriously cute Keith was. He had no idea while he talked avidly to the smaller boy about skin care and funny stories of him & Hunk during their Garrison days to conspiracy theories while they got their masks prepared that Keith felt exactly the same way about him.

Chapter Text

4.

Fire. It’s always fire.

Keith can feel the way it burns through his body, in his veins, all over his skin, not one inch left un-singed.

He’s running & short of breath,

the smoke fills his lungs, it’s suffocating, he tries to gasp for air but it’s a mistake, it’s just more smoke, now he falls to his knees, tears stinging in the corner of his eyes,

it’s too much, he’s coughing violently now

& he can’t get out, he’s trapped,

there’s no escape & he can’t see,

he can’t remember the last words his dad said before he never made it back

all he remembers is the foster care, & whispers & bloody noses & being scared

all he remembers is the pain

& it’s consuming him,

consuming him like these flames

& he thinks he hears his dad screaming for him, calling out his name but he can’t get up

he can’t get up, he’s not strong enough

he can’t do it

he sees the fuzzy outline of a figure appear in front of him, a hand reaching out to him...

Dad?

~

Keith jolts up from his sleep. Everything is still, silent, all he hears is the distant humming of the castle ship. He touches his forehead & feels sweat. The red paladin sits upright on the edge of his bed & uses his t-shirt to wipe his face. He still feels short of breath, just like in his dream. He hadn’t had one like that in a while. He’s had nightmares, sure. Ones about the war, the close calls, the casualties. They haunted him routinely, somehow had become bearable most nights but this was different. He hadn’t dreamt about that fire &... about his dad in so long. Keith closes his eyes & tries to take deep breaths. He sits there in the dark alone & it hurts. He hates when he’s like this, how it comes out of nowhere. He’s always tried to push everything down, he was fueled by rage or by passion sure, but everything else was pushed to the furthest corners of his mind because he just couldn’t let himself near it without feeling like he was being burned alive, even so at times, the memories ate him up from the distance anyways.

I can’t even remember what dad looks like anymore.

Keith trembles upon this realization & wraps his arms around himself. A pathetic attempt at a self given hug. Something is caught in his throat & he wants to cry but doesn't allows himself to just yet. Tonight, he just feels empty & tired & scared. Everyone thinks he has this weird “bad boy loner” rep & he’s always fucking hated it.

Loner.

As if Keith had chosen to be alone, to always fight tooth & nail for himself, that he was too good to have other emotions, as if other people didn’t make him feel lonely, as if other people didn’t make him feel unwanted & fuck, tonight was just one of those nights where he just couldn’t pretend they were right.

Unstable.

That was a good one. Keith chuckles to himself. Even Allura had said this about his own Lion during their first meeting & he’s never forgotten it since. He couldn’t help it. He relied on only his gut & his instincts, it’s what kept him alive for this long, even if it was by the skin of his teeth at times. Nothing could ever be as reliable. Words? They can always be lies. Promises? Easiest things in the world to break, easier than glass. Ok yes, obviously the misfit troubled orphan teen has abandonment and trust issues he had to work out, who could’ve guessed?

Keith tries to tell himself that things are different for him now. He isn’t just that scared little boy who was moved from foster family to foster family because no one wanted to keep him. He isn’t just a dropout from the Garrison academy after his disciplinary record finally caught up to him after punching Iverson in his stupid bastard face. He wasn’t stuck in the middle of nowhere, literally the dessert, trying to figure out if something was calling out to him or he was just finally going insane. He found Shiro. He had Voltron now. He had a team. He had people in his life that seemed to actually care about him for once & even showed it. He had Pidge & Hunk. He had Allura & Coran.

He had Lance.

Keith felt a heavy pang in his chest from the thought. He wouldn’t want to say that being suddenly thrown into space & into the middle of an intergalactic war to fight in a giant space robotic lion was the best thing that ever happened to him but... if that’s what it had taken to bring the bright, blue eyed boy into his life then he knew it was worth it.

But right now, surrounded by only four cold metal walls, Keith couldn’t hold back his tears any longer. Nightmares were one thing. Mostly just the fear of possibilities that could happen out on the battle field, just cruel fiction but this dream he had woken up sweating from, was nothing like that. It was a memory, it had all been real.

& Keith had locked these haunting memories away for years out of fear, out of not wanting to remember because it hurt but he realized that by doing this for so long, he now couldn’t remember his own father’s face anymore & he can’t-

Keith let out a strangled noise from his throat. He quickly placed his hand over his mouth to quietly sob into it. The tears that tricked down his face felt hot. He was shaking all over & he couldn’t seem to get himself to stop. He tried to take a deep breath but gasping for air only reminded him of the smoke that had once filled his lungs entirely to the point he had passed out & never got the chance to say goodbye. He wanted to scream. He didn’t know how to stop himself from feeling like this. He was trying to shut it off but it was too overwhelming. He slumped onto his bed again, he didn’t know what time it was but his heart was pounding so hard, it ached, as if they were going to leave bruises there by morning. Keith forced himself to still for the next moment.

He never knew how to rely on others, he was still learning how to trust & how to let people know when he needed help & that it was okay to ask for it.

Keith took another deep breath before deciding to get up from bed.

~

The distant sound of knocking brought Lance out of his sleep. He groggily opened his eyes & let his fuzzy surroundings take shape. It had to be way too early for breakfast or morning training. What was so important that it needed to interrupt his beauty sleep? He grumbled to himself, swinging his body off the bed & made his way to the door. He didn’t expect what he saw on the other side.

Keith.

The blue eyed boy took him in for a moment. Keith’s eyes looked puffy around the corners. His hair was disheveled, the long bangs stuck to his forehead from sweat. Keith looked so small. Lance had never seen such a vulnerable expression on that mullet’s pretty face before but even just looking at it hurt. He noticed how the boy had his arms against his chest, not crossed defensively like usual but as if he was trying to give himself a hug. Lance’s heart ached seeing him like that. The blue paladin looked back up to meet the boy’s misty eyes, wanting to pull him into a hug right then & there but was worried that any sudden movement or loud noise would scare the boy away. Keith’s bottom lip trembled as if he wanted to say something so Lance stood there patiently waiting but words never left his mouth.

“Hi.” Lance said softly, breaking the silence instead.

“Hi.” Keith whispered back, weakly.

They both knew nothing else needed to be said for now. Lance gave the boy a small smile & reached out to grab his hand, leading them gently both back into his room. As soon as the door shut, Keith stepped in forward, filling the remaining space between them. As the raven haired boy leaned his head onto Lance’s shoulder, the taller boy pulled him in closer for a tighter embrace. Lance felt the boy’s small smile, pressed in against his skin, grow. He began to gently rub the boy’s back to get him to relax. He felt Keith’s grip tighten between his pajama shirt & the smaller boy dug his face further into the crook of his neck. His breath was warm against Lance’s tan skin. It tickled.

Lance thought this might be some weird fever dream, that maybe he was still fast asleep because Keith had never let him hold him like this before.

During the past few weeks, they’ve grown closer. Their little moments of finding each other up late at night & then spending time together had become less of a coincidence and more of a routine. Of course, Lance really couldn’t hold in his stupid ooey gooey feelings to himself well enough for his friends not to obviously notice.

~

“Are you guys dating?” Pidge asked Lance, not even looking up from her screen. The sudden blunt question had Lance violently choking on his food goo. “Pidge!” Lance leaned forward trying to cover her mouth across the table dramatically. “Relax, Romeo. He’s not even here anymore.” She tilted her chair back to avoid his flailing long limbs. “He might still hear you somehow!” Lance turned his head to scan every door in the dining hall in sight.

“Aw. Buddy, you’re blushing!” Hunk plopped onto the seat beside him where Keith had just been during breakfast. “I-I’m not! What are you guys even talking about? Keith is just my-“

“If you say rival one more time, I’m going to stick you out of an air lock. You know I can. I will literally modify every single part of this ship to do so on command.” Pidge finally looks up at him & shuts her laptop.

Lance gasps in betrayal. “How could you just- Hunk! Help me!” The blue paladin throws himself into his best friend’s side. “Aw, cmon dude! It looks like you guys are getting along so much better recently, I bet something good happened.” Hunk grins, he really was just a big ball of humanized sunshine. “& I bet you want to talk about it so give us the details already!” He added, excitedly. Lance puffs his cheeks in response, knowing they were reddening by the second. Lance wanted to retort but he just sputters incoherently.

Pidge rolls her eyes. “Cmon, lover boy, you ALWAYS want to talk. We’ve heard you talk about your mullet head obsession for like centuries. I know we go by my standard time on the ship but man, I am telling you. It has been a centuries long time crush.” Lance hides his face in his own hands from this but Hunk nods. “Yeah dude, spill!” He slaps the blue paladin’s back as encouragement. Lance sighs & mumbled into his hands. “Is it really that obvious?”

“What? The fact that you guys literally can’t spend a second away from each other when you’re in the same room?” Pidge cocks an eyebrow.

“Finding silly little excuses to get into each other’s personal space?” Hunk interjected, happily.

“The sexual tension that replaced the former rage you guys had during all your recent and much more dumber bets?” Pidge continues.

“S-sexual ten-? Pidge! What the-“ Lance squawks.

“The way one of you are always looking at the other when they’re pre occupied & don’t notice? & with THAT look? Lance, I know what that look means!” Hunk adds.

“Keith literally does that signature hair tuck behind the ear gesture whenever you talk to him. Dude, that is like, the most obvious move known to mankind!” Pidge shakes her head.

“No way! Keith does not-“ Lance tried to argue.

“He does! He did it three times while we all ate breakfast together 30 minutes ago!” Hunk nods.

“We counted.” Pidge backs him up.

For the first time since 6th grade, Lance was left utterly speechless. “Buddy, you should go for it this time. Really.” Hunk gave him an encouraging smile.

Lance dared to hope.

~

Now, here in his arms, was the boy of his dreams, crying. Lance slowly pulls away for a brief moment to study Keith’s face. His eyes downcast, not meeting Lance’s. He was biting into his bottom lip so hard it looked like he was going to break skin. “Keith.” Lane said, gently tilting the smaller boy’s chin up. Keith stayed silent, but looked up to let Lance know that he was listening. “Do you want to talk about it?” The taller boy whispered. Keith didn’t respond but kept their eye contact. He looked him so earnestly with those beautiful wide eyes, iridescent and vulnerable. Lance tucked a loose tuff of hair behind his ear to get it out of his face. The taller boy felt his heart beat faster as he saw Keith’s eyelashes flutter slightly shut from the contact.

Lance gave him another small smile. “Let’s sit on the bed, it’s comfier.” He said softly & with their hands intertwining again, Lance lead them there. The blue paladin wasted no time to once again embrace the smaller boy, brushing his fingers through the jet black sea of hair. Keith instantly reciprocated the gesture & Lance’s heart was officially stuck in throat. He was just touched, that’s all. There have been a handful of nights where Lance had been the one to look for Keith, seeking comfort. The smaller boy somehow knew exactly what to say to make him feel better when Lance had his fair share of nightmares along side his homesickness. He had been grateful to Keith since the first time he had knocked on the red paladin’s door for company after waking up from an especially gruesome nightmare & Keith didn’t just laugh in his face & tell him to get out. Instead, Keith welcomed him to stay as long as he wanted & to not be scared to ask him to stay with him again whenever he needed.

“I mean, I might not be the best company but I’d gladly stay by your side when you’re feeling lonely, Lance.” Keith said, smiling shyly. “& don’t say you don’t want to be a burden. You’re a pain in my ass but I promise that you are never a burden to me or to the rest of the team.”

& those words had filled Lance’s heart with so much more warmth than the other boy could ever even imagine. Lance had offered Keith the same thing in return & he hoped that the red paladin would one day confide in him too. He wanted to show Keith that he could depend on him, he wanted the boy to know he’d do anything to make him feel safe, he’d do anything to make him happy.

“Lance?” Keith sounded so broken. “Yeah?” The blue paladin gave him his undivided attention. “I dreamt about... my... my dad.” He mumbled. Lance just gave him a small nod before Keith continued. He’s never told the blue paladin anything about his parents or the rest of his "mysterious bad boy" past before. “I just... it’s been a while since I have. It’s always about the... f-fire...” Keith’s voice was shaky & his hands were balled into fists in Lance’s shirt. “Fire?” Lance prodded, softly. “Y-yeah...” Keith gave him a nervous chuckle. “I, uh... I lost my dad in a fire...” Lance’s eyes widened, he still held the smaller boy in his arms. “I was ten.” Keith added, quietly. His body felt limp. A delicate silence hung in the air between them for just a moment.

“Keith... I-I’m so sorry...” Lance whispered back, feeling his own heart aching for the boy. Keith shook his head & sighed deeply. “No, uh, don’t be. I just- it was a long time ago but... it just hurts cause I never got to say goodbye...” Keith pulled back from their embrace to wipe the tears that had spilled over, he felt the dampness of his cheeks. “I was there too... because I ran in after him but the smoke was too much, I passed out. Keith looked down & kept his eyes on his hands, too uneasy to look at Lance while he continued talking. “When I woke up... he was already gone.” He smiled sadly & Lance’s heart cracked right down the middle. He leaned in to wrap his arms around the smaller boy’s frame again as if he could put Keith's heart back together if he could just hug him tight enough. He also felt like crying. “I’m so so so sorry, Keith.” He tightened his embrace further, all he could think of to help was to just hold him after seeing Keith try to do it to himself earlier at the door. The raven haired boy rested his head on Lance’s shoulder. “Yeah... thanks, sharpshooter.” Keith chuckled weakly. He felt tears about to spill again, he can’t remember the last time he had cried like this. He can’t even remember the last time time someone held him but it was nice. Lance felt warm, pressed against him. For once, Keith felt safe & he wished that time would still so they could just stay like this forever. Keith suddenly flushed at his own embarrassing thought.

~

After letting everything out, Keith felt better. Lance had just held him the whole time, not saying much but that was what Keith had wanted. Their silence made him feel so strangely secure. He had hidden his face in the crook of the other boy’s neck & Lance just combed his slender fingers through his hair knowingly. Keith hadn’t wanted Lance to watch him cry so the blue paladin just hummed softly, still looking away just so Keith knew he wasn’t alone.

“How are you feeling?” Lance asked him gently. They had pulled back from their embrace but Lance had kept his hold of Keith’s hands in between their laps as the two boys sat across each other. “Better than I have in… a really long time.” The smaller boy smiled at him. “Thank you, Lance.” The blue paladin just gave him a soft smile back in return. Lance reached out and cupped the side of Keith’s face to just admire how beautiful the other boy really was. The red paladin’s eyes seemed softer than Lance had ever seen before. He took it all in and savoured this moment, he just meant so much to him. I don’t think you’ll ever know how much. Lance stole a glance at Keith’s lips but quickly caught himself. When he looked back up at the raven-haired boy, he was smiling like Lance was the most breathtaking thing in the universe Keith had ever seen. Lance felt himself blush furiously, praying that the redness on his cheeks weren’t so obviously visible in the dim lighting of his room. “I… I’m glad.” Lance pushes himself to speak, still embarrassed. Keith hummed quietly before Lance continued. “I’m glad we’ve gotten closer… I really…” Lance felt like he was getting lost in his iridescent eyes again and didn’t mind one bit. “I really like you.” He finally said, breathlessly. “I like you a lot too, Lance.” Keith gave him the sweetest smile and the taller boy melted. “R-really?” Lance bit his lip. Keith nodded instantly, not giving the other boy a chance to doubt. “You’re not all that bad, I suppose.” Keith teased, tucking few strands of hair behind his ear but it had quickly fallen out of place and back in his face... Lance had noticed the gesture and grinned. “You know… you’re not half bad yourself.” Lance reached out to tuck the tuff of hair for him. “You and your outdated mullet.” Keith rolled his eyes. “It’s not a mullet…” He grumbled. “Wait! Did you just compliment my hair?!” Keith realised suddenly. “Psh. Even if you told anyone what I said, they wouldn’t believe you.” Lance shook his head and Keith laughed at that.

“I don’t think anyone would believe you either if I told you how pretty I think your eyes are.” Keith smirked slyly. Lance’s breath hitched. “W-wha, wait! Did you just say-!? You think my- ““Your eyes are pretty. Every time I stare at them, it’s like I’m looking into the ocean.” Keith laughed against his hand, shyly. “It’s nice… uh, even though I’ve actually never seen it before.” “WHAT?!” Lance shrieked. Keith raised his eyebrows at his reaction. “Lance, I literally lived out in the dessert for practically my whole life. There is literally no way I could’ve ever seen it.” “THEN WE HAVE TO GO TOGETHER!” Lance began to flail his arms out dramatically. “That settles it. I am bringing you back home with me when we get back to Earth. I will not take no for an answer, mullet!” Lance said, still in complete shock. “The beach in Cuba is amazing! It is literally the best! I promise you; I will give you the best first experience ever, Keith!” Lance gripped the smaller boy’s hands with his and pulled him nearer. Lance leaned in and now their two foreheads were touching, they stayed like this. “I promise.” Lance whispered. “Then, I’ll hold you to it.” Keith smiled. He liked the idea of Lance being home.

Chapter Text

5.

It was Keith’s fault & he knew it. He had snapped at Lance earlier after they had just gotten back from that mission instead of just telling the blue paladin how fucking scared Keith had been of losing him after he had pulled such a careless stunt. It had just been too close this time. Keith had felt so helpless just watching from his lion, too far away from where Lance was to protect him. Blue had taken a heavy hit that Keith wasn’t fast enough to push her out of the way from when he saw it coming. The lion & her blue eyed boy had begun to fall rapidly into the atmosphere of the planet below them, the team had tried to stay on their communicators with Lance but his connection suddenly cut off & the last thing Keith had heard was his horrified screaming. Keith charged in to follow him after that & when he got nearer to the ground, he had seen through his screen that Blue had crashed into the planet’s surface pretty hard. Her outer armor had been damaged & she had completely shut down. Keith felt a cold chill run up his spine at the sight & he knew that there were tears forming in the corner of his eyes. He rushed out of his lion to get to Blue’s cockpit, screaming the blue paladin’s name the entire time. Keith had never gotten back a response.

The lump in his throat was growing by the second, it was suffocating him. His heart was beating so fast, he almost forgot he had one. As selfish as it was, he wondered what was the point of saving the universe if the only reason he wanted to still be a part of it was gone? If Lance was.... God, his world would just end right here & he would never move on. He wouldn’t have been able to keep his promise. He wouldn’t have been able to bring the boy back home to his family; he wouldn’t have been able to bring him back to the beach. He wanted to bring him back to that beach so badly. He wanted to see him smile. Keith was playing back every moment he could where the boy had stood in front of him, making the team laugh around the dinner table, him strolling in wrapped in an altean bathrobe & a face mask he always applied every morning, the cocky smile on his face when he’d take down a galra solider before Keith could during their missions, all of the times Keith had comforted him in the most vulnerable moments of the night. These scenes rapidly repeated over & over again in his head while he tried to push off the debris blocking his entrance into Blue’s mouth. When he finally got in & saw the limp body in the pilot seat, he almost broke down right there at the sight. “Lance!” Keith screamed & rushed to the blue paladin’s side. He was unconscious but he was breathing.

Thank god, he’s breathing.

Lance had been carried back into Hunk’s lion which had more room inside & had woken up mid-trip home. He instantly joked about the whole situation & everybody tried to go along with it & laughed to keep the atmosphere up in the air. Everyone except Keith who had shut off his communicator, he didn’t want anyone to hear him crying overwhelmed with relief.

~

“What were you fucking thinking, you idiot?!” Keith screamed when they had landed back in the castle’s hanger. Lance froze, seeing the smaller boy storming towards him with swollen eyes & flushed wet cheeks. “Keith, buddy I-“ Lance tried to grin to break the tension but the red paladin cut him off. “Why do you always have to be so careless? Why do you always try to play hero?” Keith was livid & his breathing was heavy. Lance tried to place a hand on Keith’s shoulder but it was pushed away. “I swear, you always think you need to act so cool all the time, you’d even kill yourself over it!” Keith continued to scream, not caring that everyone else was watching the two boys in silence. Lance’s bottom lip trembled now; he knew he had scared Keith but he hadn’t done it on purpose. He knew that maybe Keith just sucked at showing he cared the right way but it didn’t excuse the fact that he was being a complete asshole right now & Lance didn’t have the energy to take this shit from him after almost literally dying. “Just shut your quiznack, Keith! You’re such a hypocrite! As if, you wouldn’t have done the same if you were in my position!” Lance yelled back & he instantly regretted it when Keith’s eyes widened with hurt. “I wouldn’t have done things so carelessly! I may rush into things before thinking but at least I have enough skill and wit to survive, you’re too stupid for that, Lance!” Keith growled out. Lance’s face fell after hearing the raven-haired boy’s words. Keith saw the evident pain he had just caused in Lance’s silence. The rest of the team had stood by awkwardly watching this exchange, unsure when to jump in & mediate the situation. Lance just gave Keith one last hard look before storming off. Hunk & Pidge chased after him, telling him to go to the med bay to get his injuries properly checked out.

Keith‘s jaw stayed clenched & his fingers were turning white, balled up so tightly into fists. He was still shaking when he had felt Shiro’s hand on his shoulder. The older paladin just gave him a sympathetic look, knowing that Keith had just been scared. Keith didn’t need a lecture right now; he knew what he had to do to make things right. He just needed a hug so Shiro took his younger brother into his arms & embraced him tightly, letting Keith silently cry into his shoulder.

~

After a few vargas, Keith had calmed down. Shiro stayed quiet & remained by his side until the red paladin started to recompose himself. He had offered the boy more privacy to talk & guided them back to his room earlier. Shiro gently placed a hand on Keith’s shoulder again while the younger boy held back a sniffle. “S-sorry... fuck...” Keith apologized, noww feeling embarrassed. Shiro just shook his head & laughed gently. “Keith, no. It’s good to let yourself be vulnerable & I know it can be difficult for you to do so. Don’t be sorry. I’m glad you talked to me.” Shiro smiled. Keith wanted to roll his eyes out of habit but stopped himself.

“Sooo, Lance huh?” Shiro treaded carefully. Keith looked away from the older boy as they sat side by side on the edge of the bed. “Yeah, I... I should go apologize, that was really messed up- I messed up, I mean.” Keith mumbled. “Well, of course that too. I knew you already understood your faults which is why I didn’t think a lecture was necessary.” The black paladin nodded. “It’s okay that you were scared, Keith. I was scared too, we all were but… he’s okay, he’s right here with all of us.” Shiro reassured him. Keith didn’t respond but he was listening. “Uh, besides today’s events though... has anything else been going on? You briefly mentioned a few things while you were getting stuff off your chest.” Shiro coughed into his fist. Oh fuck. Keith instantly looked back up at the older boy. “You can talk to me or ask questions about things you don’t understand if you’d like.” Shiro added, trying to sound casual but Keith knew his older brother well enough for him to know the black paladin was trying to stop himself from smiling, dying of curiosity to hear what’s been going on between him & Lance. Keith sighed. There was silence between the two paladins for just a moment.

“What does it mean to hold hands with someone?” Keith asked, in one rushed breath. Shiro gave him a knowing look. “Do you hold hands with Lance?” Keith instantly blushed, hearing it come out of Shiro’s mouth. Keith stayed silent for another moment then began to nod his head frantically, realizing how desperate he actually was to talk about this with someone. “& do you like holding his hand?” Shiro pressed on. Keith nodded again. “Then?” Shiro raised an eyebrow. “I just- do you think, uh, it means anything?” Keith pouted. “Anything special?” He added. Shiro gave him a ridiculously fond look. “I think the answer is kind of obvious, don’t you think, Keith?” Keith awkwardly shrugged. “I’m just worried I’m misunderstanding, Shiro. I know I’m not the best at- look, I just don’t want to look stupid.” Keith mumbled, crossing his arms against his chest. Shiro laughed light heartedly. “You’re not stupid, Keith. I’ve noticed how vulnerable Lance makes you & I think that it’s a good thing. It’s nice to see you finally let down your walls for someone for once.” Shiro replied. “Are you sure it’s not just a friend thing? Don’t friends hold hands? I mean, how do I know if it’s special?” Keith rambled. “Trust me, you’d know.” Shiro smiled. The black paladin stood up in front of the boy and extended his hand towards him. Keith looked at the hand then up at Shiro, confused. “Oh my god, Keith.” Shiro let out an exasperated sigh. “I’m asking you to hold my hand.” Keith furrowed his eyebrows even more. “What? Why?”

“God, I’m just trying to make a point. Look, Keith just take it.” Shiro grabbed Keith by his wrist using his robot arm & pulled him up. The two boys just awkwardly stood there, hands pressed against each other, not exactly intertwined. Keith stared at the attached limbs intensely for a passing moment. “Uh, ok so how is it?” Shiro asked, awkwardly. This seemed like a better idea in his head before they had executed it. “Weird.” Keith answered, simply. “Does it feel weird when it’s with Lance?” Shiro prodded, patiently. Keith shook his head. “No, it’s way nicer.” “Wow, you’re blunt, huh?” Shiro stated, amused. Keith rolled his eyes. “Do you think Lance might think that holding your hand is nice too?” The older paladin asked. Keith pouted, pulling his hand away from Shiro’s. “I don’t know! I mean, I think he does but maybe I’m just reading it all wrong & it’s still some weird friend thing cause Lance is always weird or maybe it’s all just a prank because he still hates me even though he said he liked me but maybe he meant as a friend & I just don’t-“

“Keith.” Shiro cut him off. Keith shut up and looked up at the black paladin again, nervously. Shiro placed a firm grip on both of the smaller boy’s shoulders. “I know that certain gestures between others might seem complicated to you at times but this one is quite simple.” Shiro smiled softly at the red paladin. Keith could feel his cheeks start to burn as his self-doubt about the situation finally began to fizzle out.

“I know you like Lance &... Lance seems to like you too, like... you know, what you said. That’s why you hold hands & that’s why it feels nice.” Shiro said this slowly, the same way people would to a 5-year-old child. The gears in Keith’s mind started to turn, all the walls he had built around his heart had bitten the dust so long ago before this moment because of the blue paladin, god who was he even kidding anymore? “I wouldn’t say this if I wasn’t completely sure & you know I’d never lie to you, Keith.” Shiro added.

“Oh.” Keith simply stated.

OH.

~

Unable to find Lance right after his talk with Shiro, Keith now laid wide awake in bed, thinking about the mission again & how he thought he had lost Lance, thought he had lost Lance before he could even tell him how he felt. Then when he was overcome with relief that he was okay; he hadn’t even shown any concern for the boy’s injuries. Instead, Keith blew up again like he always did because he just didn’t know how to care about someone properly. He didn’t know how to show Lance how much he couldn’t stand to be without him & instead of just saying that he fucking screamed at the blue paladin. He said things that stung, things that he knew Lance felt insecure about & confided in him with, God, he might actually hate me for real now. Keith's stomach was just a black pit of nerves at this point. He knew he had to talk to Lance, no matter how scared he was of actually losing the boy from his own cowardliness and not the battlefield . He stood up from his bed & tried to build up his courage to make things right with every step he took until he was in front of Lance’s door.

Keith knocked but there was no answer. “Lance?” Keith called out to the blue paladin from his side of the door. Still no response, Keith felt something start to tighten in his chest. He tried to reason with himself because it was the middle of the night & Lance was probably already fast asleep & he was disturbing him by trying to wake him up but god, Keith couldn’t help it, he would fall apart if he didn’t see the blue paladin’s face in the next second, if he didn’t see that he was alive & was really still with them. “Lance, please...” Keith had started to feel the wetness on his cheeks & violently wiped the tears away. He was knocking on Lance’s door without stopping now, desperate. “Please talk to me, Lance. I’m sorry about earlier, I was just... I was just so scared...” Keith’s voice was breaking. He placed his forehead against the door, feeling stupid for probably ruining things between them like this already. He contemplated on just waiting outside Lance’s room all night, he had to come out by morning & Keith would beg him to just look at him then. Keith sniffled & wiped his nose using the sleeve of his jacket.

“Keith?” A soft voice called out to him from behind. Keith had turned his head back at lightning speed & saw Lance standing in front of him, his beautiful blue eyes filled with worry. He was in his space pajamas & holding a toothbrush in one hand. Keith was going to start bawling at the sight. “Lance?” Keith hiccupped into a sob. Keith instantly reached out the taller boy, pulling him into a tight embrace, hiding his face in the crook of his shoulder so Lance couldn’t see him cry. Keith felt like he couldn’t breathe & gripped onto the fabric of Lance’s shirt so tight, worried that the boy would suddenly disappear into thin air if he let go. Lance could feel Keith’s whole body shaking & instantly placed a hand on the smaller boy’s back to rub it up & down in a soft soothing motion, imitating how Keith would always do it when he was the one comforting Lance. The taller boy tried to shush softly & hum into Keith’s hair. “I’m okay, Keith. I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here.” Lance reassured him, pressing their foreheads together now. Keith took deep breaths to try to calm himself down & when his crying had toned down, Lance rubbed away the wetness on his cheeks. The taller boy hadn’t realized that he had been crying a little himself.

“Do you wanna come inside?” Lance murmured into Keith’s hair, slightly tilting his head to gesture to the room in front of them. Keith nodded weakly. Without properly separating, they made it onto Lance’s bed, still holding each other. “God, Lance...” Keith’s voice was hoarse. He still clung tightly to the other boy, hiding his face into the crook of his shoulder again. Lance just hummed softly, liking the warmth he could feel between their bodies. “I was so scared...” Keith said, so quietly Lance almost didn’t hear him. “Scared of what, Keith?” Lance asked. Silence hung in the air for a few moments.

“Losing you.” Keith finally spoke up, pulling away to look at the other boy properly. Lance’s eyes widen & a strong shade of red began to grow on his cheeks. “Keith...” Lance broke into a small smile. “You will never lose me.”

Those words broke Keith into a sobbing mess again. Lance still looked at him with that soft expression on his face & Keith did his best to keep eye contact with the blue eyes boy as he continued to speak. “I’m really sorry about all those things I said earlier, Lance. I didn’t mean any of it, you’re not stupid & I don’t think you’re stupid.” Keith babbled. Lance just giggled, hugging the smaller boy even tighter. “I actually think you’re pretty cool!” Keith wailed & Lance couldn’t hold in his laugh. “It’s not funny, you asshole!” Keith cried harder, but his sounds were muffled in the taller boy’s shoulder. “I know, I...” Lance pulled him back and looked into the other boy’s iridescent eyes, wide and filled with so much raw emotion, Lance always thought they were beautiful. “I’m sorry for scaring you, Keith.” Lance pulled back to take Keith’s hands into his, feeling the warmth against his own palms from them. Tears were still running down Keith’s cheeks and the blue paladin felt a bit bad for thinking about how cute the boy looked with snot coming out of his nose.

Lance thought about how much he loved Keith in this moment & every other moment they’ve ever spent together, even when they were still constantly fighting, even in Garrison when the boy hadn’t even known his name. The sight of Keith in front of him, crying over how much Lance meant to him warmed his heart all over. He couldn’t hold it back any longer. When he was crashing down to the surface of some unknown planet during their mission earlier today, not knowing if he was going to make it, he thought about Keith. He thought about the boy’s smile, the way his eyes softened and crinkled at the corners, the faint sound of his humming when he slept, & how he might have never gotten to tell him how he felt. Though he had miraculously gotten out of that crash with only minor injuries, Lance felt like he was given a second chance at life & he was not going to waste it keeping his feelings swallowed up inside anymore.

“Keith, I love you.” The words had come out so easily, so naturally it felt like they were always meant to be said.

~

Keith’s heart stopped. Was he dreaming? He couldn’t be, his dreams were never this perfect, never this kind to him. Had he heard Lance correctly? Maybe he meant he loved Keith like a friend, like he loved Hunk. Lance couldn’t possibly have the same feelings as him, he couldn’t have loved him the way he... Keith didn’t understand, couldn’t wrap his head around it. Friends tell each other they love them, right? He couldn’t have possibly meant it the way Keith wanted him to, the way Keith had always wanted him to. He was so caught up in short circuiting his brain, he didn’t realize he hadn’t responded.

Lance stayed silent, his blue yes longer meeting Keith's. The smaller boy was screaming at himself to do something! This was the moment where he could finally say it back right? Keith had always sucked at understanding other people but he wanted to believe that he had an actual connection with Lance, a special bond that could never be broken. “Um,” Keith uttered, nervously. “You don’t have to say it back! You actually don’t have to say anything at all!” Lance interrupted, waving his arms frantically in the air. “I just... I needed to tell you how I felt.” Keith absorbed his words, still trying to cautiously analyze the conversation. He was so scared of messing things up if he got things wrong & slipped into saying things that Lance didn’t want to hear. If he told Lance he loved him in the way he did, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from pouring everything else out he’s wanted to say for years. But if he had gotten it all wrong & Lance laughed in his face, what then? He gulped.

No.

I am not going to miss this chance again; he needs to know.

I need him to know.

~

“Lance.” The blue-eyed boy shuddered when he heard Keith say his name with so much conviction. “Y-yeah...?” The taller boy responded, his cheeks on fire. “We hold hands.” Keith stated, he was looking back at him now. “Yeah, we do.” Lance cracked him a small smile. He thought this was going better than he ever expected so far since the other boy hadn’t just laughed in his face. Yes, his standards were pathetically low, don’t comment. “What does it mean?” Keith asked him, so earnestly, Lance felt his heart squeeze. “Well, what do you want it to mean?” Lance teased; he couldn’t help it. He was nervous. The smaller boy furrowed his eyebrows, looking like he was in deep concentration. God, I swear I am going to kiss him so hard, he’s gonna pass out.

“Love! Keith exclaimed. “I mean- yeah, I want it to mean love b-because… because I love you too.” Keith said, breathlessly, finally able to get the words out after all this time. “I, uh... I have for a while now.” The smile that grew on Lance’s face was so blinding, the raven-haired boy thought he was going to melt. “Oh, thank god!” Lance said dramatically, flinging his arms & wrapping them around Keith’s neck. “I really hoped that I wasn’t the only one falling in love here.” He whispered, still smiling. Keith huffed fondly, wiping away at the remaining wetness on his cheeks from earlier. “Also, I bet that I’ve been in love with you for way longer.” Lance added, pulling back again to look at the other boy’s face, keeping his hands placed on his shoulders. Keith shook his head, letting out a small laugh. “I don’t know about that. I’ve loved you since our first bonding moment, you were actually really cute.” Keith gushed, who still couldn’t believe what the fuck was happening right now.

“Dude! I was literally unconscious for the majority of that.” Lance gawked but he was blushing. Keith shrugged then smiled, recalling the memory. “I don’t know your babbling while I carried you to the med bay was pretty endearing. Sue me.” Keith placed Lance’s hands into his lap and intertwined their fingers. “& then right before I closed the pod, you looked up at me with these puppy dog eyes.” Keith laughed. “& you told me you didn’t want me to go.” Lance was flustered. “W-what other things did I say when you were um, when I was babbling?!” “You complimented me a lot.” Keith teased. “Wow, you’re a narcissist.” Lance said, deadpanned but Keith just laughed again. “You told me you thought that I was actually really cool. You even said you liked my bike & my fingerless gloves.” Lance felt his face heat up as Keith shot him a devious smirk. “You even said I was better at flying than you & that you wanted to wear my jacket." He added, softly. “No fucking way! You are definitely making that part up!” Lance exclaimed, flailing around again. Keith shook his head & chuckled. “No, I’m serious, sharpshooter.” Keith placed his hands on Lance’s shoulders. “But you know, it was during that confession I realized you never actually hated me & well... I also realized that all the times you tried to pick on me was just your lame attempts of trying to get my attention, I guess it’s cute.” Keith grinned, shamelessly. Lance scoffed. “Y-you are just- whatever! Sure, my secret’s been exposed but it doesn’t matter because I definitely loved you first, you can’t beat me at that.” Lance crossed his arms against his chest, classic Keith style. The smaller boy just hummed. “Then when, lover boy?”

“I’ve loved you since we were 15.” Lance confessed, easily. Keith’s jaw dropped. “I’ve loved you since the Garrison.” Lance sighed, fondly as he cupped both sides of Keith’s face in his hands. The way he looked at him gave the smaller boy goosebumps. “Wait, I... No way!” Keith retorted, shocked. “Uh, yeah way.” Lance cocked his head. “You did that fucking backflip during our first real flying exercise just to spite Iverson. God, I fucking hated your guts.” Keith snorted. “I can’t believe you remember that!” “Well, you’re pretty hard to forget, mullet head.” Lance grinned at him warmly while watching as Keith blushed furiously. The taller boy leaned in so that their foreheads were touching again, hands still on the sides of Keith’s face. Keith placed his own hands on top of them. The smaller boy had this hazy amused look on his face & Lance found it irresistible.

“God, I really wanna kiss you.” Lance whispered.

“Then do it already.” Keith replied, playfully.

Lance pulled the smaller boy in closer & filled the space between them. Keith’s lips felt soft against his, he tasted surprisingly sweet & Lance thought he could just get drunk off the feeling of kissing Keith forever. After so many years of pining, after all that’s happened between them, all Lance had ever wanted was for Keith to look at him but now, he had lucked out on something that was a thousand times better.

Holy shit, I’m kissing Keith Kogane!

~

Holy shit, I’m kissing Lance McClain!

Keith could feel the heat pooling in his stomach when the taller boy dug his fingers into his hair & deepened the kiss. Keith moved his hands to Lance’s waist, playfully dipping his fingers underneath the hem of his shirt to feel the soft warm surface of skin. He wanted to run his hands down every inch of the boy’s body that he could reach. Kissing Lance like this was addicting, he tasted like citrus & honey. Keith moved in closer to sit on top of Lance’s lap & wrapped his arms around the boy’s neck.

~

Lance eagerly pulled him in & reveled in the little mewling sounds Keith wasn’t aware he was making as he dipped his tongue in & shortly, felt Keith reciprocate the movement. He still couldn’t believe this was happening, that Keith had said he loved him back & he was going to make sure the boy knew how much Lance loved him every single day for the rest of his fucking life. His heart felt fuzzy and warm and god, he was just so happy. He was happier than he had been in a long time.

He pulled back for a moment to just look at Keith. The other boy’s face was flushed in the deepest shade of red against his pale skin, lips slightly swollen from the kissing. His hair disheveled from Lance running his fingers through it the whole time but his favorite part was the look on the boy’s face. He was grinning widely back at Lance & that smile reached his eyes. His iridescent orbs held wonder & warmth for him and Lance thought his heart would flat line. He was just so… beautiful. “Keith.” He called out, softly. “Mmh?” The other boy kept his hazy gaze on the other boy. “I love you.” Lance whispered like they were the only ones in the universe, like Keith was his whole universe. Keith giggled. “God, I love you too.” He replied, pulling Lance back in for another kiss. He craved this warmth, he had wanted this boy for so long & all this time, he had already been his.  Keith could feel Lance’s smile against his mouth while they kissed, he liked the feeling of Lance’s hands around his waist. He loved the warmth that radiated off of the other boy’s skin as he ran his fingers gently down Lance’s back and was pleased with the sudden hitch of breath that came out of the taller boy’s mouth. Lance suddenly bent down, pushing Keith onto his back on the bed to change their positions. The raven-haired boy who was held in place underneath him looked ethereal. His ridiculously long hair splayed out like a little halo. His pale stomach slightly exposed from his shirt being ridden up from the sudden shift. The way he was looking at Lance was downright sinful. Lance couldn’t help but let out a small nervous laugh. “W-what?!” Keith pouted, averting Lance’s eyes now out of sudden embarrassment. “No, hey!” Lance said, grinning while placing a hand on the side of Keith’s face to make him look back up at him. “You’re just… you’re so amazing, Keith.” Keith’s eyes widened but then broke into a shy smile, god this boy was going to be the death of him. The smaller boy reached up to wrap his arms around Lance’s neck to pull him in closer. “Hey, Lance?” He whispered. “Y-yeah?” The other boy replied. God, Keith knew he was about to say something so cliché and embarrassing but it was all pouring out now but then he realized he didn’t want to stop himself anyways. “Lance.” Keith smiled, looking up lovingly at the beautiful blue-eyed boy. “Can you be mine?”

~

Lance instantly leaned in and began kissing him hard, desperately trying to convey what he had bottled up away for so long. Yes. Yes. Yes! “Keith, I’m yours.” Lance leaned in for another kiss. Keith sighed contently. “I’ve always been yours.” He kissed Keith on the cheek but slowly made his way down, trailing his kisses on every other inch of skin. Keith turned his head slightly, exposing more of his neck. Lance’s heart skipped at the invitation. He felt the raven-haired boy shudder at the first contact of Lance’s mouth on the new area of skin. Keith’s little breathy pants that brushed up against Lance’s ear just urged him on more. “Mmh...” Keith tried to hold in his noise, but it was becoming really difficult when Lance was making him feel this good. Only Lance could do this to him. Only Lance’s touch could make him feel like he was burning up, make him so pliant, desperate for more. Keith bit his lower lip to hide a particular embarrassing sound when Lance began to suck on another sensitive area of skin. Keith pulled the other boy’s body closer. He wanted to be surrounded in Lance’s warmth. Keith dug his face into Lance’s shoulder and took in how sweet he smelled. God, he’s never been in love before but this had to be it because it just felt so right. Being with Lance felt so right and he just hoped that this wasn’t all just a dream, that he would wake up in his bed, staring up at the ceiling, the space beside him, empty and cold.

He softly gasped at the sensation of Lance’s hot mouth trailing over his skin. It was too good to be more than a dream but here he was. There they were, as Lance ran his hands down every inch of his skin, letting himself slowly believe that he really was awake, that this amazing thing was actually happening. He really had Lance and Lance loved him. He couldn’t wait to reciprocate, he wanted to make Lance feel as good as he felt too. Lance came up to plant a deep slow kiss on his lips before sitting back up. Still straddling Keith, he had an amused look on his face. “What?” Keith cocked his brow. “You may want to wear a turtle neck… or zip your jacket up to the collar for a couple of days. Lance gave him a shit eating grin. Keith huffed, pushing the other boy off and on his back. Keith quickly pinned him down by the wrists. Lance just looked at him fondly. “You know, I always found it really hot when you would pin me down during our sparring sessions.” He cocked his head before leaning closer to Keith’s ear. “That’s why I always let you win our matches.” He whispered, teasingly. Keith let out a laugh. “Say whatever you want to make yourself feel better. We both know I always kick your ass fair and square.” Lance pouted and Keith closed the space between them once again. Both eagerly melted into the kiss, Lance gripping his hands around Keith’s waist as he heard the raven haired boy softly sigh into his mouth. After midnight magic, be damned. They knew that what they had was for forever.

Chapter Text

+1

“What are you looking at?” Keith grins, walking into his room after taking a shower. Lance was already wrapped up in the sheets peering at him through the covers so only his bright blue eyes & his tousled brown hair peeked out. Keith could tell he was smiling & the sight of the brown-haired boy in Keith’s bed warmed his heart every single time. There was no way he was ever going to get used to this. “What? I can’t be excited to spend a romantic & passionate night with my super-hot boyfriend?” Lance lifted the sheets up, gesturing for Keith to get under them to fill the empty space beside him already. The smaller boy shook his head & laughed. “You’re ridiculous!” Lance groaned but Keith made his way to the bed after placing the wet towel hanging from his shoulders on the back of his desk chair. As Keith dipped forward, Lance wasted no time to wrap his arms around the other boy’s neck to pull him in. He longed for the warmth, craved it every second Keith was away, even if it was to just get a glass of water in the middle of the night. Sometimes, he thought he was getting too greedy or maybe he was being too much but when he’d see that soft smile form on Keith’s face whenever he looked at Lance just made all those worries disappear. Keith said he liked the way Lance made him feel wanted & quiznack, Keith is all Lance has & ever will want his entire life. He still couldn’t believe his luck. Who knew he could have something like this? Someone this amazing, someone so beautiful? After Keith had made himself comfortable on the bed, he pressed his body against the other boy as Lance wrapped an arm around his waist & scooted closer. Their faces remained only a few inches away from each other, debating between desperately wanting to close the space between them or getting lost in each other’s eyes. A beautiful blue ocean meets an iridescent sky, an endless love each & every time. The flush of red across Keith’s cheeks was obvious against his pale skin as Lance reached out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind his ear before kissing his forehead. He smiled softly at the gesture but then quickly flashed the taller boy a worried look when he noticed how Lance suddenly pulled away & let out a deep sigh. “Wha-“

“God, can you stop being so fucking cute for like, at least one second? Jesus, this is so unfair, Keith!” Lance’s dramatics are just another part of the boy that Keith had ended up falling in love with. Keith’s eyes seemed to sparkle before a goofy grin broke out onto his face. The smaller boy placed both of his hands on either side of Lance’s face & sat up to straddle him. “Keith, what are you-“ Lance broke out in laughter as Keith began to pepper light kisses all over his face. He held the taller boy down by his wrists & continued his mission, making sure to cover every inch of tanned skin was kissed. Countless on each cheek, more on his forehead, some on his nose, & finally, he planted a deeper & more passionate kiss on Lance’s lips like he wanted. He heard Lance sigh fondly as he melted into it as he wrapped his arms around the smaller boy’s neck. Keith liked the feeling of Lance’s fingers running through his dark hair but when the other boy had gripped a handful of it and tugged gently as they kissed, Keith couldn’t hold in a soft needy moan.

~

The sweet sounds Keith began to make only made Lance bolder. It had only been a little over a week since they had confessed to each other in the blue paladin’s room but it felt like another lifetime ago to the both of them. Everything just felt so right, so natural between them. Their lips slotted against each other perfectly as well as their bodies when they pulled each other into an embrace. They still bickered over stupid things, keeping the flame of their rivalry perfectly intact but getting ready for bed had become the favorite part of their day. After feeling beat from training, battles, & everything else in between, the boys always anticipated finally falling into bed together every night.

Keith knew his nightmares would never permanently disappear & Lance knew this didn’t cure his homesickness completely but waking up beside the love of your life in the morning really made things more bearable, made things feel like they were really going to be okay.

“I love you.”

They both said to each other, whole heartedly. Their eyes widened when they realized that they had said it at the same time. Lance let out a small laugh & Keith just softly hummed as he leaned in so they could share another sweet kiss. “Thank you, Lance.” Keith smiled & god, Lance would just keep falling in love with this boy every single time he smiled, wouldn’t he “W-what are you thanking me for?” Lance blushed, as he felt his heart squeeze. “For being here... and loving me.” Keith continued shyly then kissed the other boy’s forehead. God, Lance knew his cheeks were on fire. “I know I’m not always the best with words but I really wanted you to know. You deserve to know how much you are loved, Lance.” There’s that soft smile again. Lance couldn’t take it anymore, he finally snapped. He surged forward to kiss Keith passionately & with purpose. He knew that actions spoke louder than words for Keith & even though he vowed to tell the boy he loved him every day, he never wanted to waste a chance to prove it to him either. “I.“ He planted a kiss on Keith’s cheek. “Love.” Another peck closer to Keith’s nose bridge. “You.” One more peck on the opposite cheek. “Too.” Keith giggled as he kissed his blue-eyed boy over & over again, he never wanted to stop.