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Amanda stopped outside Lee's apartment door, glancing at the mirror in the hallway for one last hair and makeup check. She couldn't help starting to laugh at the giddy smile she saw on her own face. Tonight was her first date with Lee, her first honest-to-goodness proper date with him - not an apology dinner, not a friendly dinner, and not a dinner of takeout over case notes - and she couldn't wait. She lifted her fingers to touch her lips lightly, remembering their kiss the day before in the Q Bureau; it had taken them both so long to arrive at that moment and she felt like Lee had been as startled as she had at how right it had felt.
Because that kiss was lingering in her mind as she knocked, Lee opened the door to find Amanda gazing at him with a dreamy smile and a faint blush on her cheek that made her look lovelier than he'd ever seen her. Already smiling, his face lit up even more at the sight of her.
"Hi," he greeted her.
"Hi," she answered softly, suddenly feeling oddly shy. Even after all these years, the force of that smile turned her into mush, and when he was dressed to the nines in that navy suit she loved, she couldn't help that flutter of anticipation.
"You look… great," Lee said, stepping closer to kiss her. Amanda lifted her face, expecting another electrifying kiss on the lips, but instead, after an odd stuttered hesitation, and to her disappointment, Lee kissed her lightly on the cheek.
"I'm sorry I couldn't pick you up at home like a normal person," he said, "but you know…"
Yes, I know," she replied with a humorous eye roll. "Mother. But honestly, it's fine - this way I get you all to myself for a while longer."
To her surprise, Lee didn't react to the bait in that line. "Are you ready to go?" he asked, "I got us a reservation at Jefferson's."
"Oh. How nice," she answered. "I've heard it's wonderful."
Secretly she was a little disappointed that Lee had opted for dinner out instead of an intimate dinner at home, but as soon as the thought occurred, she dismissed it. It was obvious he was excited to take her out properly for their first date and it really didn't matter to her as long as they were together. She reached for his hand as they walked down the hallway to the elevator, but just as she did, his hand slid to the small of her back, then almost immediately dropped back to his side. She glanced up at his profile and he turned to give her a smile.
"I think you'll really like this place. It's very romantic and the layout means you can have a lot of privacy for-" he stopped short, looking guilty - "for enjoying the food. Great food, really great food."
"Are you okay?" she asked as the elevator door opened and they stepped in. "You seem distracted."
"Me? No, I'm fine. Just, uh, well, you know - I want everything to be perfect for you tonight."
"Of course, it will be," she chided him. "You know I always say you know how to show a girl a good time."
"Well, I'll do my best," he promised. And then said nothing else: again, no jokes, no teasing, none of the things Lee would normally do when she set him up with a straight line.
Amanda stared at him in disbelief. Why on earth was he acting so oddly? Lee was standing with his hands behind his back now, whistling softly and staring at the ceiling. Her eyes followed his gaze until she saw the security camera. Ah, maybe he doesn't want anyone to know about us yet, she realized. I'm sure it will be better when we're alone at the restaurant.
Those hopes were dashed when it definitely did not get better at the restaurant. From the moment she sat down in the chair Lee had so attentively pulled out, the evening felt strangely off.
"Oh my gosh," she murmured when she opened the menu. "This does all look wonderful." She studied it for a moment, then leaned across the table. "Lee, it doesn't have prices listed."
Lee looked up and smiled. "Don't worry about it," he whispered back. "The ladies' menus never do. Just pick whatever you like."
His smile broadened when he saw her brows go up. "Amanda? Please just relax and have anything you like."
She sat back with a nod. "Well, thank you," she acquiesced. "Although I think ladies' menus seem a bit sexist," she muttered under her breath, just barely catching Lee's smothered laugh. She looked up to find him gazing at her, his eyes twinkling as he leaned in to say something. She leaned in too, only to see Lee's smile freeze and then his face went oddly blank.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"Wrong? Nothing's wrong," he answered too quickly. "What are you thinking about having? The wine list here is excellent. There's a really nice Burgundy…"
"What would go best with Lobster Thermidor?" she couldn't resist asking.
Lee's eyes dropped to the menu and widened perceptibly as he took in the price. "Um, the Chardonnay would probably be good," he said in a strangled tone.
"But you know, I think I'll just have the chicken," she mused, glancing up in time to catch his look of relief. "Lee, I was just teasing you!" she exclaimed.
"No, no, I said have whatever you want," he replied, visibly bracing himself. "If you want the lobster…"
"I want the chicken," she said, firmly.
"Are you sure?" and now there was a note of anxiety in his voice. "I want tonight to be perfect."
She put down the menu and stretched her hand out across the table. "It's already perfect because I'm with you."
She fully expected him to take her hand as he always did but instead Lee stared at her, then glanced down at her hand, then back up.
"If you're sure..." he said.
Amanda sighed and pulled her hand back. "I'm sure," she sighed.
Matters didn't improve from there. Lee was so stiff and polite that she was forcibly reminded of the evenings they spent having dinner with his uncle. She loved that he was trying but he was trying so hard that, far from making it perfect, it was actually ruining the evening. It was as if the Lee who'd kissed her yesterday didn't exist - or worse, had changed his mind. She found herself staring at his hand, willing him to reach across the table to take hers, to make any of those little touches or caresses she had learned to crave. But Lee remained so aloof and distant that she has restrained herself from reaching out to him either, completely off kilter by his attitude.
Eventually the maitre d' came by with dessert menus and inquired if they would like a coffee or a nightcap.
Lee cocked an eye at her. "What would you like, Amanda?"
"Oh, I think I've had enough for now," she said with an edge to the sweetness in her voice. She reached to place her hand on his where it rested on the table. "Why don't we have a nightcap back at your place instead?" she purred, trying to sound as sexy as Lee usually did when he was flirting. "That way we won't get interrupted the way we usually do."
Lee's eyes widened and his face split into a grin. Just for a split second, she thought he was finally going to act like his normal self but instead his face suddenly went blank; he swallowed visibly and turned to the waiter. "Just the check please," he said hoarsely.
"Right away, m'sieur" murmured the waiter with a smile he couldn't quite hide.
Lee paid the check and immediately stood up to help her from her seat, then followed her out to the car, once again with his hand hovering in the small of her back.
They were both quiet in the car on the way back to his apartment, although Lee did look over to give her a smile from time to time. He helped her from the car as usual, and they walked, still virtually silent, into the building and up to his apartment door.
Lee pulled out his keys, and unlocked it, ushering her in with a somewhat-too-hearty "Well, here we are!"
She stepped in, still trying to discern what was going on with him, and Lee followed her. He turned in the middle of the living room and rubbed his hands together. "So," he said, "what can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Me? I mean, m-m-maybe a liqueur?"
It was that sudden shift, that confirmation that he'd started to say one thing and changed his mind that made her realize what it was about his voice that was bothering her. He was using his "cover voice", the one that was a little too loud, a little too effusive, and a lot too annoying when it was aimed at her.
"Aren't you coming any further than that?" he asked, noticing she was still standing close to the door.
"You know, I'm not sure I am," she answered, slowly.
"What's the matter?" he asked, with obvious concern.
"That's what I want to know," she replied. "Why are you acting so weird?"
"Weird?" he repeated, flushing slightly. "What do you mean?"
"I mean all the hot and cold you've been blowing all night. I came out for an evening with Lee and I think I just spent the last two hours with Scarecrow. That's what I mean." Her hands had clenched into fists at her side. "If you've changed your mind about this, about me, you just had to say so, you didn't need to pretend to want to go out tonight and waste your money buying me an expensive dinner!"
Lee's expression turned to one of horror, and he strode forward to grab her hand. "No, Amanda! That's not true! I did want to go out with you tonight - more than anything. I'm sorry I was an idiot, but-" He stopped dead, using his free hand to run it through his hair in frustration. "It's not you, it's me - I don't know how to do this," he groaned.
"Don't know how to do what? Let me down gently?" she responded. "Because you're right, it's-not-you-it's-me is a terrible way to do that!" She turned to head for the door.
"No! Please don't go!" He hadn't let go of her hand and now he was tugging her back into the room. "Give me another chance!"
Amanda sighed and pulled her hand free, but didn't try and leave again. "Fine," she said. "Explain why everything felt wrong tonight."
Lee stared at her, swallowed nervously and then stared at his feet for a moment, before taking a deep breath and lifting his head again to meet her eyes. "I don't know how to date you," he confessed.
Amanda stared at him, stunned. "You what?"
Lee threw his hands up. "I don't know how to date you!" he burst out again. "I only know how to fake date you!"
"Fake date me?" she said, feeling completely at a loss. "What does that even mean?"
Lee began to pace in front of her, too wound up to stand still. "I've fake dated you for years! I've been fake married to you a dozen times for covers! I even had a fake wedding with you!" He stopped and turned to look at her with an expression of complete confusion. "But tonight, I opened the door and there you were, looking so beautiful and I opened my mouth to say something like I normally do... you know, to the girls I used to date… and I realized I didn't want to treat you like them. You're special."
"Ok-a-a-y," said Amanda. "And I'm so special you treat me like a leper?"
Lee gave her an exasperated eyeroll. "I did not treat you like a leper! I just - ugh!" He began to pace again.
Amanda had to bite her lip to stop herself from smiling at his agitation. "You just what?" she enquired, her voice squeaking slightly as she tried to keep from laughing.
"When we're doing a cover, and we're supposed to be dating or married, you know what I'm like… I flirt when we're in front of other people. I hold your hand and I kiss you and it's so easy and then tonight, I couldn't do it."
"I could tell," she commented, still trying to keep her voice light. "But why?"
Lee just looked at her miserably. "I'd go to compliment you and I'd think 'she's going to think I'm just being ridiculous and that I don't mean it because I do that when we're acting married' and then I'd think about how much I wanted to pick up your hand and kiss your fingers or your wrist and I'd think 'I bet she hates it when I do that on a cover' and then I'd just freeze up. And the more I did, the more the conversation got stilted and by the end you were barely talking to me and all I ever wanted to do was finally have a proper romantic evening with you and I blew it!"
There was a moment of silence where he looked at her with a hangdog expression and she stared back, processing what he'd said.
"I see," she said at last. "So all the things you do when we're dating on a cover are things you don't want to do with me on a real date?"
"Yes! I mean, no!," he said. "Oh hell, what do I mean?" He took a deep breath. "I wanted tonight to be special. I wanted it to be fun and romantic and I wanted to show you that I thought you were special and I wanted it to be about us, Lee and Amanda, and instead, I just acted like an idiot. At least when you're fake-dating Scarecrow, you have more fun."
"Until the bullets start flying," she couldn't help herself, but the stricken look on Lee's face wiped the smile off hers.
"See? You keep saying I need to be more like regular people but how am I supposed to be regular when you expect every date to end like a James Bond movie?" he asked plaintively.
"I know you were so worried about making tonight perfect," said Amanda. stepping towards him. "But I really meant it when I said any night I get to spend with you is perfect, whether we're on a cover or just being us. I like spending time with you, Lee."
"Not tonight, you didn't," he shot back.
"That's true," she admitted. "But that's because you weren't yourself."
"And now I've ruined our first real date by being an idiot," he sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "It's obvious you had a terrible time. I ruined it and I wouldn't even blame you if you just gave up and went home."
Amanda was silent for a moment, then said "You may be right," before turning on her heel and walking out the door.
It took the sound of the door closing behind her to wake Lee up to what a terrible mistake he'd made.
"Amanda! Don't go!" he called out, striding to the door. Just as he reached it, he heard a rapping knock and threw the door open. "Amanda, I didn't mean it! Please don't-"
Amanda was standing there, the same bright smile on her face that she'd had when he'd opened the door a few hours earlier.
"Oh good," she said. "You're still up." She pushed past him into the apartment and turned to face him as he stared at her, bewilderment written all over his face. "I'm sorry I'm late, Sweetheart, but better late than never, right?"
Lee shook his head as if that would clear his confusion. "What?"
Amanda's smile got brighter and she stepped closer. "Don't I get a proper hello?" She lifted her hands to his face, gazed into his eyes for a moment, then pulled him down into a kiss.
It took Lee a moment to get with the program, but he felt Amanda's mouth curve into a smile under his as he began to kiss her back. Her hands slid down and under his jacket as his hands found their way to their natural resting place around her waist. All the electricity that had been missing earlier prickled along his skin, and it was with real regret that he eventually pulled away to breathe, resting his forehead against hers.
"Hello," he whispered, and felt her shake with laughter under his hands. "What were you saying about being late?"
"Well, that's quite the story," she said. "I was just out on an awful date - you know the kind? Where the conversation is terrible and you wonder why they even invited you out at all?"
Lee's lips quirked up. "That does sound like an awful date."
"Well, the guy was kinda cute, so it wasn't all bad," Amanda said demurely. "But I finally got rid of him and I thought maybe you'd like to have a nightcap with me? Or maybe dessert?" she suggested.
"I - I, uh, I might have something," he answered faintly. "But, I hate to disappoint you, so maybe give me a hint about what you like on a date?"
Amanda snuggled in close and kissed him again. "Oh, I'm pretty easy to please, I think. I like a man who smiles when he sees me, who opens car doors for me and holds my hand when we walk, a man who says and does ridiculous things like kiss my wrist and my fingertips just to make me laugh."
"And this guy didn't do anything like that?" Lee asked, dimples starting to dance as he nuzzled her cheek.
"Nope, he was dull as a stick," said Amanda, now sounding quite breathless as Lee's lips moved down her cheek to her neck. "And even though he offered to buy me Lobster Thermidor, I'm pretty sure I won't be seeing him again."
"No, I don't think you will," murmured Lee. "I think-"
Amanda pulled away and cupped his face. "Please don't think, Scarecrow. That's what got you in trouble in the first place," she teased him, dark eyes twinkling.
"No, being Scarecrow is what got me in trouble in the first place," he corrected her with a grin. "No, what I think you should do, is forget all about that other guy and let me take it from here."
"Take what from here?" she asked, waggling her eyebrows at him.
"Anything you're offering," he replied, ducking in for another light kiss.
"Well then," she said, pulling him in close again. "In that case, we could be here a very long time."