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JJ wakes up with a start, halfway to her door before realizing she had even been asleep. She had just meant to lay down for a minute, not even stopping to pull her pajamas out of her go-bag. Not that it mattered now, the knock sounding from the other side of the door probably meaning the team was being called back into the precinct they had been working out of.
“What’s u–“ JJ stops as she pulls open the door to find Emily in sweats and holding a bottle of scotch. “Oh.”
“What, am I not who you were expecting?” Emily jokes, pushing past JJ and into the room.
“Not exactly. I though you were coming to tell me we had to go back in.” JJ shuts the door and leans against it, not quite sure to do with Emily in her room.
“Highly unlikely with this case. So, drinks?” She asks, waving the scotch in the air.
“I would love to but,” JJ hesitates. She had been about to say she was too tired, but then she notices the way Emily is holding that bottle like a lifeline. The woman hasn’t stopped pacing since her arrival, and clearly is thinking about more than just killing time in another shitty small-town hotel.
“But...” Emily prompts.
“But nothing. Let’s drink.” JJ smiles.
———•———•———
Half the bottle is gone before JJ finally works up the nerve to ask. “Emily?”
“Yeah?” She’s still laughing at the joke JJ had just cracked.
“Why did you come here tonight?”
“I, uh...” Emily swallows hard. “I wanted to... I mean this case is...”
“It’s not the case.”
“No, it’s not.” A heavy silence falls. “I don’t know it’s just... I feel like I’m getting my heart broken?”
“Heart broken? By who?” This is the last place JJ thought this conversation was headed.
“By you.” There it is.
“Emily, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” JJ feels herself start to panic, to shut down, run away.
“I think you do.” Emily is right, and that’s what’s so scary. JJ had noticed the lingering looks, the joking flirting, the subtle digs at Will when he had still been around.
“I can’t.” JJ gets up from the crappy desk chair she had been sitting in. She starts to head for the door but then remembers that this is her room. So she just stands there, frozen. A deer in headlights.
“Why?” Emily looks up at her with those big eyes and JJ’s heart melts like it has a thousand times before. “Please, JJ, just talk to me.”
Those big eyes keep looking at her. Fuck it. JJ knocks back the rest of her drink and sits back down.
“It starts– just, picture high school me, ok? Straight hair, straight A’s, straight forward. Straight path. I don’t cut corners. I make a point to be on time. Head of the student council. I don’t black out at parties, I jam to Paul McCartney. If you ask me how I’m doing I’ll say– well. Hmm.
“My parents spoil me rotten. Often, I ask myself ‘what did I do?’ To get as far as I’ve gotten. A pretty girl walks by my locker. My heart gives a flutter but I don’t dare utter a word, ‘cause that would be absurd behavior for little miss perfect. I can’t risk falling off my throne. Love is something I don’t even know.” JJ stops, and pours herself another drink. She’s a little worried that Emily will start to respond, but the brunette just keeps looking at her, listening.
“One night, my friend stayed over. We laughed, and drank, and ordered... Something about her drew me in.”
“Jayje—“
“What? It’s totally platonic.”
“Yeah.”
“That night was so exciting, her smirks were so enticing, hours speed by like seconds. Then what happens is iconic. She takes a sip, I bite my lip, she makes a joke, I nearly choke. She braids my hair... I sit there blacking out for the first time. Next thing I know, I lose control. I finally kiss her but– I see a face in my window. Then my brain starts to go ‘no! You can’t risk falling off your throne. Love is something you don’t even know.’”
“What did you do?”
“Rewind, induce amnesia. Deny the truth, that’s easier. I’m just confused... believe her when she says there’s nothing there. It’s never worth it when you’re little miss perfect.” By the time she finishes, JJ is crying. Emily is too, as far as she can tell.
“I–“ Emily starts after awhile. “I– JJ, you think I don’t know what that’s like? I’m a goddamn Ambassador’s daughter, for crying out loud! But I think that this, you... us, I think we’re worth it.
For the second time tonight, JJ knows Emily is right. There’s nothing left to lose, so she leans forward. And finally, she kisses her.