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Scowling, Himiko crossed her arms and tapped her foot. It’s five minutes to showtime. Where are you, Kokichi? The mage stood on Hope’s Peak gym stage. Red velvet curtains hung before Himiko. Behind the curtains she could hear the murmurs of her classmates in the audience. A large tree mural covered the stage’s back wall. Himiko muttered, “Nyeeeh! It was so stupid of me to take good-for-nothing Kokichi on as an apprentice… What was I thinking?”
During the first few weeks of school in their first year, Kokichi often dropped by Himiko’s research lab to pester her. Himiko insisted that if Kokichi was going to keep bugging her, he might as well learn some spells. And learn to respect her and magecraft, too. Ever since the two had become the Magic Mayhem duo. Although Kokichi often goofed off during practice and skipped out on them, he had never played hooky for a performance like today.
Himiko bit her lip. Only two more minutes… I guess he’s not coming. I’ll have to perform without him. That darn Kokichi! Where is he? What could he be doing that’s more important than this? When I find him, I’m going to give him a piece of my m– “Mmgh!”
From behind a hand pressed a cloth to her mouth, smothering her. Someone pinned her arms. Grunting, Himiko struggled and kicked. But darkness crept into her vision. Everything went black.
Groaning, Himiko cracked open her eyes. After a few moments, her eyes adjusted to the darkness. She was tied up with ropes and a big red bow to a chair. Her hat had vanished, probably fallen off somewhere. Beside her lay a double bed, its sheets untouched; a nightstand and dresser. A window in the back had its curtains tightly drawn. Himiko narrowed her eyes. There’s barely any furniture. Is this some hotel room or new apartment? Why am I here? Who brought me here?
A shadow stirred. Himiko flinched. Rising up, several shadows loomed over her. The faint light from the window reflected off their faces. Nearly a dozen clown masks grinned at her. Eyes wide, Himiko shrank back. “Clowns, aaahhh! Anything but clowns!”
A clown tilted their head to the side.
Knees knocking, Himiko blathered, “I-I-I mean I love clowns! Really! I think clowns are unfairly discriminated against. Not all clowns are sewer dwelling serial killers with a hockey stick, right? Right? Or was that a chainsaw…?”
The clown mimed holding up a chainsaw and revving it.
Himiko screamed, “AAHHH! Don’t hurt me!!”
Someone elbowed the mime. Muttered, “Quit fooling around, you’re scaring her. We–” A text message alert. “The boss is here.”
Tittering, the clowns repeated the message.
“Leader’s back.”
“He’s coming.”
“We have to get ready.”
B-boss? Himiko whimpered. I want my mommy!
Someone opened the door. One after the other the clowns slipped out the door. In the light of the partially open doorway, Himiko glimpsed their white uniforms. She frowned. Wait, that kinda looks familiar…
Voices sounded behind the closed door. “You’re here! We got you a surprise birthday present.”
A deep but silky voice answered. “A present? For me?”
Himiko stilled. That voice… It can’t be.
“Awww, you shouldn’t have! But I won’t accept any present unless it’s as cute as your adorable leader.”
Someone snickered. “Bet you think so.”
“So, so? What is it? A new RC helicopter drone? An autographed Batman movie poster? Convertible?”
“You’ll see,” a voice right outside the door said. “It’s right through here. Now we put a lot of effort into this, so we hope you appreciate it.”
“I’m sure I’ll love it.” The door opened. Himiko locked eyes with Kokichi. Kokichi froze. Choked. He slammed the door closed.
Kokichi slammed the door closed. “What the hell, guys?! Why would you do this?”
The nine Dice members stood in a semi-circle around the leader. Behind them the apartment’s kitchenette stood to the left and the living room on the right. A colorful banner read, “Happy Birthday Boss!” Balloons of every color bobbled in the air. A long dinner table had a crown patterned tablecloth on it. Presents with large red bows were stacked on the floor beside the table. At the center of the table sat a cake with 17 candles on it.
Little John, a giant DICE member with a red afro, crossed his arms. “We just wanted you to enjoy your birthday. You have a soft spot for her, don’t you?”
Lucius, a man with long bangs covering the one side of his face, nodded enthusiastically. Miming, he made the shape of a heart with his hands. Giggled behind a hand.
Kokichi pressed the heels of hands to temples. “No, I don’t like her! And why would you risk exposing the organization by kidnapping her? After all I’ve done to keep you guys a secret, all the lies I’ve told, this is how you repay me?”
The voluptuous Frenchwoman, Marie, tapped her clown mask. “We were wearing our masks. Wasn’t seen by anyone at Hope’s Peak. And besides…” Behind the mask she smirked. “You’re going to make her a DICE member once she graduates, non?”
Grinning behind the mask, Lucius pretended to put a crown on his head. Blew a kiss.
“I am not!! And I swear to God, stop miming!”
Lucious ran a finger down his face, mimicking a tear.
Kokichi covered his face with a hand. “I can’t believe you’ve done this. I can’t believe you’ve done this!”
Punk, a man with blond hair that stood straight up, cackled. “Oh man, someone’s embarrassed…!” Laughter rippled through the members.
Kokichi scowled. “You think this is a really funny joke, well ha, ha! Joke’s on you!” Pointing, he gestured to all of them. “You’re all on the top of my shit list! The very top! And that’s impressive because there’s a lot of people on it, like people who burp in your ear and Rebecca Black.”
Phantom, the sole Spanish member, held his chin. “Yes, yes, you’re a big, scary leader. But even supreme leaders enjoy birthday treats, you know.”
“She is not–!!”
A new voice asked, “What birthday treat?”
Jumping, Kokichi whirled around. Himiko stood behind him, freed from her ropes thanks to her escapism skills. “H-Himiko!” Frowning, Kokichi noted how the mage had fastened the red bow to the back of her head. Why did she keep the bow? Does she think she’s some cute anime waifu now? She’s so weird. Kokichi flushed. It’s definitely not cute at all. Nuh uh.
Little John patted Kokichi’s back. “We’ll be in the next room. Give you guys some alone time.”
Growling, Kokichi rounded on them. “You…!” Snickering, the DICE members filed out the room. “N-no! Wait! Get back here; I’m not finished with you!” The door slammed shut. “The nerve of them…!”
Himiko looked around at the birthday decorations. “What’s all this? Oh yeah, your birthday in a few days. Is that why you skipped out on our magic show? Your illustrations master was waiting for you! It’s very rude for an apprentice to stand up your master, no matter the reason. Unless those clowns kidnapped you, too. Nyeh, who are they?”
Scowling, Kokichi held his forehead. “They’re imbeciles.”
“Are they leaders of your organization?”
Kokichi tsked. Raising his voice, Kokichi glared at the door. “No, they’re JANITORS who scrub TOILETS with their TONGUE! In Siberia where it’s so cold that they have to cut off their tongue.”
Himiko tapped her chin. “Oh, so that’s why the one was miming. He can’t speak without a tongue.”
Kokichi facepalmed.
The mage wandered over to the table. An array of meats, soups, and desserts were spread on the table. Their sweet aroma filled the room. “But of all our classmates why would they kidnap me to attend your birthday party? Why only me?”
Face red, Kokichi held up his hands. “You weren’t invited! I didn’t want this! Why would I care if you came or not?”
Frowning, Himiko murmured, “Am I special in some way? Special to you?”
“Wh-wh-what? No! You’re the, uh, entertainment!”
Brow raised, Himiko turned to face him, hands on her hips. “Entertainment? You mean my magic shows? I could do that at school. We were just about to do one! Nyeh, they went through the trouble of bringing me here for another reason…” Himiko gasped. “Is it because you like me? Is that why I was invited? Nii hee! No one can resist my charms–”
Face burning, Kokichi blurted, “No, you’re the stripper!”
Himiko went still. Blinked.
Kokichi internally screamed, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
Humming, Himiko narrowed her eyes. “You’re acting suspicious… I should strip you butt naked with my magic.”
Kokichi’s stomach fell through the floor. He squeaked, “Eh?”
Exhaling, Himiko fingered the bow in her hair. She muttered, “I’m getting nowhere with him. He’s slower than a person who I used my you-will-only-get-red-lights-in-traffic spell on. Maybe there are clues somewhere around here…” Frowning, she turned around. Spied the stack of presents all bearing the same red bow. Eyes narrowed, Himiko looked over her shoulder at Kokichi. “So I was kidnapped to be your entertainment, strip, and then be a present to you.”
Face beet red, Kokichi clutched his head. “NO, IT’S NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL!”
Sighing, Himiko hung her head. “Nyeeeh, whatever. I give up. I’m here and that’s that. And I’m hungry.” Himiko picked up a knife and started slicing the birthday cake. “Since I’m already here, I’m not leaving until the party is over. It’s the least you can do for having your goons kidnap me.”
“What? No! You’re leaving!”
Himiko ate a forkful of cake. Swallowed. “I’ll tell everyone at school about your clown organization. That you invited me to your birthday party because you like me.”
Kokichi went, “Tch. B-but no one would believe…!”
Cheering, DICE emerged through the door. Smiling and laughing, they huddled around Himiko. Kokichi held out a hand, objecting, “Where did you–? Stop, leave her alone. She’s leaving…” But DICE continued to talk with Himiko.
“So glad you’re gonna stay! Believe it or not, the cap’n has the biiigest crush on you.”
“We made sure to include your favorite desserts, too. They’re over here…”
“So what’s the boss like at school?”
Kokichi’s outstretched hand lowered. This can’t be happening…
Little John clamped a hand on his shoulder. “We recorded your whole exchange with Himiko from four different angles and uploaded it to 37 servers across the world. There’s no deleting it. The footage shall be laughed at and enjoyed every year on your birthday.”
Groaning, Kokichi covered his face with his hands. He felt like a prisoner on death row. “This is the worst birthday ever…”
“What’s Kokichi like at school?” repeated Himiko. “Oh, he’s always doing something stupid. Once he disguised onions as candied apples to give to me later. But then he forgot what they were and ate one himself.”
“And the boss performs magic with you, right? What’s that like?”
Himiko picked an ear. “Nyeeeh, he’s such a pain. He teases and distracts me and never takes practice seriously. But whenever I upstage him in a complicated spell, he works twice as hard to master it and he gets this look of concentration on his face… He’s so expressive. I could watch him all day,” Himiko mumbled, face warm. “We were going to put on a magic show today actually, but… Oh, hey, Kokichi! After dinner, do you wanna do a magic show together?” Himiko smiled, her cheeks and tip of her petite nose pink. The light set her red hair and ivory skin glowing. “It’ll be fun!”
“No, you’re supposed to leave– I… Ugh, fine whatever. I don’t care anymore.”
“Yay!” cheered Himiko, pumping a fist in the air. “It’ll be the bestest show ever! You’ll see.” Laughing and chatting, Himiko and the DICE members served themselves food.
A ghost of a smile lingered over Kokichi’s lips. Well, maybe this isn’t so bad of a birthday. At the very least, it isn’t boring.
Punk asked, “Hey, can you saw the boss in half? That’ll be lit!”
Himiko laughed. “Sure! I can do the meat spell. I can also do the spell where you put a victim – I mean, volunteer – into a box and stab them with swords.” DICE members whooped and clapped.
“Hey!” Kokichi raced to join. “No way! You’re not doing any such thing! I am your leader and I demand the proper respect. Hey, are you listening to me...?”