Chapter Text
His back got slammed against the cold wall behind him while he shamelessly kissed the blonde haired guy, Jack, with whom he had an argument with just a second before they decided to make out. Jack grabbed Carl's thigh thightly around his hand and pushed him up against the wall, so the kiss grew into something less awkward, now that they were around the same height. Carl wrapped his leg around Jack's waist to deepen the kiss, not sure why exactly he was doing this and why this felt so fucking right. He just knew that he is for sure enjoying the big hand, which is almost covering his whole cheek, and the warm embrace from the taller boy.
His lips felt rough, teeths were touching and everything went by faster and rougher than he is used to. Girls lips were soft and more slippery and normally he was the one who dominates the other but it felt refreshing to be lead by someone else for once.
A soft moan slipped out of his lips and Jack took the chance to put his tongue inside the other's mouth which made Carl shiver in lust. They continued to kiss aggressively, totally forgetting in which kind of situation they were in a few minutes ago while they couldn't care less that this wasn't supposed to happen.
Jack grabbed gently onto the soft dark hair, deepening the kiss even more before letting go to catch his breath.
And now they stood there - the coldness of the room suddenly hitting them both and their forehead were resting on the one infront of them.
They breathed against each other's lips for a few seconds, both out of breath.
The room went quiet, their breathing was the only thing to be heard and slowly Carl realised what he was actually doing. Not only was he kissing a guy, something he has never done before, but he also got aroused by it. His dick is hard and he is sure if Jack would have touched it just slightly he would definitely cream his pants.
Carl could not believe it - the fact that Jack's a dude isn't really that big of a problem though. He is in no way a homophobe but he didn't expect to like the sensation of making out with one that much. Carl's sure that he likes girls, always did, and that this, whatever it is, doesn't change that fact. Does it?
Regardless of anything, making out with Jack wasn't on his schedule. It happened out of the blue.
A few minutes ago the pair were in class before they got kicked out because of an argument they had and now, instead of sorting everything out or at least yelling at each other like they did in the classroom, they were making out in a cold small room somewhere at school.
He opened his eyes in shock and pushed Jack away from him, who seemed to be confused by the whole situation as well. Carl looked up and down, checking the guy out. Short dirty blonde hair, light freckles surroundering his whole face and the intense deer brown eyes weren't the only handsome traits the other had. He started to look down to his hands and the huge hard-on between his legs. Not that he would ever admit it to himself or to anyone else, ever.
Instead he muttered, "I cannot do this." through his teeths quietly and left, leaving a confused Jack all alone inside a cold room. Carl tried to hide his smirk, kinda happy that he made a guy hard. He was confused what to think, what to make out of it, but he knew that he had it in him to make, whoever it is, hot for him. That was a good knowledge to have about himself.
"Fuck." Jack whispered before going through his light hair. Then he followed Carl who went back to the classroom.
"Wait." Jack said, grabbing the shoulder of the shorter boy and holding him back against the wall. "You can't go back inside while looking like this."
"Why?" Carl asked with furrowed eyebrows.
Carl was a whole mess. Saliva was still dripping down the corner of his lips and his hair looked like he had the night of his life. And not only did Carl have a visible hard-on, Jack had it as well.
"How about we finish our business and then we go back together?" Jack whispered.
Carl took a step back, confused at first, but within seconds he realised what he was hinting at. "No." he said, rising his voice. "Don't tell me what I can't do, asshole. Leave me alone." he pushed him away again and ran to the next bathroom, alone.
Carl didn't even dare to look back. He was not sure what to feel. On one side he wasn't sure how, why and, again, how it happened but on the other side he is actually happy, quiet proud actually, that he made a guy hard simply by kissing him. But no, it is too much. It is unknown territory.
This time Carl actually decided to think about his feelings; in one way or another. Carl tried to think since when he became such a fucking pussy. He just ran away like one, as if that'd solve all his problems in one go.
But Jack was right. If he'd go back to the classroom, looking the way he did, people would start to look at him funny. Maybe he was a little too mean to Jack, but he didn't know what else to do. Never had he thought that he, of all people, would swing that way.
At first he didn't think much of it, it's just kissing, a mouth is a mouth, not that big of a deal at all, right? Right. He made a guy hard and that was fun, nice to know that he's able to not only turn girls on, but he himself was ready to risk it all back there, doing more, damn, he wanted to suck Jack's dick so bad. Where did that energy come from? He never thought that he'd be into dudes.
He wasn't supposed to care. Carl cleaned his face and looked into the mirror. Carl then looked down, not able to keep his own gaze. He fixed his hair aggressively and waited until his dick calmed down. Jack did that. Made him feel this way.
*
He didn't go back to class. He went home and thank god no one saw him enter. It was unusually quiet, maybe even too quiet, but Carl couldn't care less and he definitely didn't complain.
He stumbled across his room and he is now laying on the dirty ground; he really had to start to clean his room like he promised Fiona a year ago. But for now he didn't move, too lazy to do anything, really. All he could do was to look up the ceiling, sorting his thoughts.
His brother Ian is gay and Carl doesn't see anything wrong with it, same goes to the whole family. No one bat an eye. Maybe he should talk with Ian about everything. Or maybe he shouldn't. He wasn't sure what to do. Carl couldn't imagine to talk about fucking feelings with his brother.
He grabbed his phone. He recieved some messages, one of them being Jack's which he ignored. He wanted to talk but he can't deal with him right now.
Does he like him? Was he even capable to like him? All he knows is that his heart beat like crazy as Jack touched his back, as he cupped his cheek into his big hands and as their eyes met. He was proud as he saw that Jack felt good and he wanted to finish their business. He wanted to kiss more, feel him, but at the same time he wasn't sure what to do, what to think.
He definitely needs to talk with someone. Not with Jack and he also won't talk with Ian.
Suddenly someone knocked on the door. He stood up and slowly opened it.
Jack stood there. "Gallagher," he said serious. "we need to talk." he entered the house fast before Carl could even think about closing the door.
"About what?" Carl tried to sound clueless, which didn't work.
Jack took Carl's wrist and went to the living room to sit on the couch.