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The group has broken into three distinct cells, each of them having their own exclusive soirée. One group is seated watching one of their own pluck a guitar. Every so often, someone sings along and Phil’s stomach twists into knots from second hand nerves. Fortunately, the sound is mostly drowned out by party number two: Ten, maybe twelve guys, drinking beer, and making a lot of noise. They shove and tackle and paw at one another. They touch each other a lot actually and it might be interesting to watch if they didn’t punctuate every joke with a fart noise or a slur. He knows some of these guys and individually, they’re okay. All together though, they’re Phil’s worst nightmare. Then there are the couples, no less than six of them, huddled together. The girlfriends all chat with each other while the boyfriends laugh and drop in commentary, holding their partners close for warmth.
Some part of him thought this dynamic wouldn’t extend into adulthood but here he is, on his own. He’s stood off to the side, hands in his pockets, but the sky is full of stars and he thinks he can make out a few constellations. That’s what he’ll do. He’ll sit by the fire and watch the stars and that will justify this whole stupid trip.
The office Phil works at fancies itself progressive. They have protein bars in the kitchen and tacos catered on Tuesdays. They have standing desks or you can sit on one of those exercise balls if you want to. And they do quarterly, team building trips. Technically, the trips are required but it’s not hard to get out of them. Phil had to see his sick grandma the weekend they went zip lining and oh no, he twisted his ankle just before the yoga retreat. They should be thanking him. It doesn’t look good when an employee falls to his death during a trust building exercise. He’s saving them scandal and embarrassment. It’s selfless, really.
Camping sounded good though. Phil used to go camping with his family as a kid. He’d roast marshmallows late into the night and listen to his brother tell ghost stories until he was too scared to sleep. He’d help his mum make breakfast while his dad and brother were out catching fish for lunch. And they’d play board games and do puzzles, all day long. This trip though, he’s not seen one marshmallow. What is wrong with these people?
Phil is going to need a blanket if he’s going to realize his stargazing fantasies. No one says a word when he walks away, toward the cabin. When he returns, sleeping bag in arms, he scans for an opening on one of the logs serving as seating. There’s only one available. Someone sits alone in the center of a log. He’s not taking up much space but he’s positioned himself just right so there isn’t quite enough room for a whole person on either side of him. Still, Phil doesn’t really have another option.
“Hey, mind if i sit?”
The guy looks up at Phil before scooching to one side. He’s got one arm wrapped around his chest and a bottle of something in his hand. His eyes are fixed in the general direction of the dirt at his feet. Phil sits, unzips the sleeping bag, and pulls it over himself.
“You don’t look like you're having fun,” Phil says.
He tilts his head just enough for Phil to make out the side eye he’s giving him. “I’m kind of an indoors type of person”
“Same,” Phil says, “So why did you come?”
“I don’t know, free drinks?” He shrugs. “I guess I didn’t know I had a choice.”
Turns out the bottle in his hand is Malibu coconut rum. He holds it out in offering and Phil takes it, hesitating before putting his mouth where this stranger's was just moments ago. The flavor is harsh and sweet and he can’t help the way his face screws up. At least it earns him a laugh.
“So why did you come?” The guy says once Phil has handed the bottle back.
“I was promised s’mores,” Phil says, casting a disgusted look across the fire. “They have sticks, like long, telescoping forks that they brought to roast things over the fire. I saw those guys pulling them out. I dug through every food bag and cooler and there is not one bag of marshmallows. Who doesn’t bring marshmallows on a camping trip? You know what they were roasting on those sticks?”
The guy raises his brows.
“Sausages,” Phil knows he sounds overly exasperated by all this.
The guy is wearing a tiny smile when he says, “You don’t like sausages?”
“No I do, I like a sausage in the evening as much as the next guy.” Phil can hear the nervous laugh in his own voice and clears his throat.
Another laugh, this time it’s full and loud and makes Phil feel like he really accomplished something making this guy laugh. He hadn’t noticed his brown eyes till they crinkled up and opened again to flash in the firelight.
“You’re shivering,” Phil says, knowing he’s about to take a shot he won’t be able to take back. He holds the sleeping bag up in invitation. “Do you want to share?” The stranger looks up warily at Phil. “I don’t bite,” he says with a small smile.
He gives Phil a small smile and gets slightly closer to him, “Are you sure there’s enough space?” His actions betray him however as he presses himself right against Phil.
Phil pretends he doesn’t notice and tosses the sleeping bag over both of them. “Yeah, of course.”
They sit there in silence for about a minute before Phil sits up with a start, “My name’s Phil, by the way.”
The stranger jumps beside him with the suddenness of this statement but quickly devolves into giggles and Phil can see an adorable dimple denting his cheek. “Dan.”
It seems Dan is content with them sitting in silence but Phil really can’t sit still. He needs to talk about something or he’s gonna explode. “You know, it’s kind of weird that we’ve never met. Considering we work at the same company and all.”
Phil knows it’s not that weird. He’s in the editing bay all day by himself and rarely sees any co-workers, especially none that don’t work in editing. Occasionally a reporter will meander in to check on the edit but not usually. Phil even eats alone at his desk. But he doesn’t really know what to say. Phil hopes that has nothing to do with how attractive he finds Dan.
Dan lets out a small laugh. “I guess. Do you work on the floor?”
“No. I work in the editing bays.”
Dan takes another swig from his Malibu bottle and hands it over to Phil. “Well, that makes sense. I literally never go there. I’m a floor director so I’m usually on the sets.”
“Yeah makes sense.” Phil could feel the silence between them get awkward. “Besides the ‘free drinks’ as you put it, what else were you trying to do tonight?”
Dan looks up suddenly with a quizzical look on his face. Phil looks back not knowing why Dan is looking at him like that as amusement grows on Dan’s face when it suddenly hits him.
“NOT LIKE THAT. I just meant that couldn’t have been the only reason why you came to this. Have you ever been camping before? Maybe?” Of course Phil would mess up this quickly. He looks up to try to see what he expects to be a look of horror or at the very least awkwardness on Dan’s face but instead he sees those same sparkling eyes as before.
Dan lets out a loud cackle that catches them both off guard but Phil manages to laugh along with him.
“Never like this, no. I’ve camped before when I went with some people from school to Reading Festival or something but this is way more legit than I expected.”
“Me too! I thought this was going to be all fancy camping with wooden cabins or something. I didn’t expect to sleep on the ground in an actual sleeping bag in a tent, you know.”
Dan rolls his eyes and takes another long pull from the malibu bottle. “I know, it’s horrible. Did you know we’re expected to share?”
Phil feels his blood go cold. “What?”
“Yeah, I almost fainted too.” Dan gives him a quick up and down before handing him the Malibu again. “You need this more than I do right now.”
This time, Phil doesn’t hesitate. He takes the bottle and pulls on it for a few second. He can hear Dan chuckling besides him and he can’t help but giggle on his end leading to a bit of malibu dribbling down his chin and on to his shirt.
Dan is positively cackling now. “Oh my god, Phil! Don’t waste it!” The impact his words could have is cut down by how utterly delighted he looks.
“I can’t!” Phil also can’t stop laughing. It seems they may have a case of the giggles. How much alcohol have they drunk? “Oh god.”
Dan takes back his bottle hesitantly and while looking straight ahead at the fire burning before them asks, “Do you think you have anyone you can ask.”
Phil starts laughing again before the previous fit has even completely died down.
“Are you joking? Oh yeah, let me ask my invisible friend that I was hanging out with before I decided to sit down with a total stranger.” He gets up and walks a few paces in front of Dan and sticks his hand out to an invisible person, “Hey man! Can’t believe they’re making us share tents! Do you wanna bunk with me?” A beat. “Great!” He mimes shaking a hand while Dan softly chuckles and shakes his head at his little performance.
“I had to ask! I also have no one to bunk with,” he says as Phil sits down next to him again. “I mean who am I meant to ask! Clearly everyone has friends already. You’d think the cliques would have died in secondary school but nope there they are, before our very eyes.”
“I know what you mean. Like how am I meant to incorporate myself with any of them? I’m clearly not pretentious enough for those with the guitar-”
“Oh my god, yes. I literally was cringing so hard. Like do you think he actually knows how to play that thing?”
“Well, I think I’ve heard Wonderwall a couple of times so.”
They both devolved into giggles again. Dan had a soft look on his face when Phil looked at him.
“Guess that just leaves us.” Dan looked at Phil shyly through his eyelashes and Phil swears he melted right there.
“What do you say? Should we go Brokeback?” And he’s ruined it.
Luckily it seems as though Dan finds everything he says hilarious. Dan is laughing so hard he actually falls off the log and onto his back behind them.
“Oh my god! Are you okay?”
Dan has his face screwed up in embarrassment and doesn’t open his eyes as he says, “As long as you still want to go Brokeback.”
Phil laughs and decides to meet him where he is. They’re both laying down on the dirt with their gangly legs hanging off the log in front of them. Phil looks over and sees Dan already staring at him.
“Decided to join me?”
“Um, yeah. Thought the cold, hard dirt could be good for my back.”
Dan smiles and the crinkles by his eyes appear and Phil notices two dimples for the first time. He doesn’t know how much time passes before Dan looks up at the sky and he lets out a gasp.
Phil looks up and lets out an involuntary gasp too. He’s never seen so many stars in his life.
“Wow.” He hears Dan murmur beside him. Phil looks away to look at Dan’s profile. Phil thinks he can see every star reflected in Dan’s eyes. It’s a testament to how beautiful Dan looks that he doesn’t go back to his stargazing.
Phil can’t believe this is the first time they’ve met. The fact that they’ve been walking around the same building for who knows how long and have never even crossed paths is a travesty.
Dan turns his head and looks back at Phil. He seems to have known that Phil was looking at him because he just smirks and asks him, “What?”
“Nothing.” Phil gives him the widest grin he can muster and looks back up at the stars. He won’t tell Dan everything he’s thinking yet. They’ve got time.