Chapter Text
Atsumu drags himself sluggishly into his room of the shared apartment complex with the rest of the team. For now, he was alone the team went off for a team dinner, Sakusa naturally declined but didn’t return to the complex.
He could finally drop the façade he keeps up around the team, he drops he duffel next to his bed complementing if he should change or just drop into the bed with what he’s currently wearing. Going with the latter, he faceplants.
He lets his drooping eyes close with the promise of sleep after a grueling practice. Except, sleep doesn’t come. It hangs over him like a thirsty man trying to drain out the last few drops of water in the bottle before giving up on it.
And that’s exactly what Atsumu did, he gave up on trying to sleep. He rolls over despite his protesting joints, to stare blankly up at the ceiling.
With nothing to do, countless thoughts drown him, suffocate him until he can’t breathe. His vision blurs, something wet crawls down his cheek but does nothing.
He has done countless attempts to regulate his breathing and, tamp down his thoughts into a cell to keep them trapped until the already bursting cell burst open from the attempts of the thoughts trying to get out.
He eventually does fall asleep but not without tear stained cheeks and, an uneven breathing pattern.
Atsumu has also been a cheerful kid throughout his childhood. He was loud, happy, a bit arrogant, but appreciated everyone around him at the same time.
He found his love for volleyball in middle school, watching the two teams playing against each other and was star struck. Osamu was almost as equally star struck as his twin. After, they wormed their way into the volleyball team in 7th grade after practicing for a whole summer.
The coaches told them both that they could go far if they would only stop bickering and fighting all the darn time. Atsumu had a gleam in his eye soaking up the coaches’ compliment, smiling brightly he laughs while putting Osamu into a headlock that ended up as a brawl between the two. Right in front of their coach (They got suspended for a week because of that).
Admittedly everything was going well until they hit the first couple months of their freshman year.
The twins have had a glow up since their middle school days, all the girls and some of the guys claimed them the hottest guys in the school. With that Atsumu became more of narcissist and an arrogant brat.
Everybody thought he was just joking, merely playing around, but jokes don’t last for three months straight.
To make matters worse everybody was falling for Osamu which, angered Atsumu greatly. He was supposed to be the better twin! He was quietly seething at the door way of the school while waiting for Osamu to finish telling yet another girl that he wasn’t interested. Suddenly a girl walked up to him with a shy blush on her face. He smiles charmingly that only makes the girl’s blush darken. “M-Miya?” Oh, she’s a stutter. The grin falters a bit but still remains, “Would you like to go out w-with m-e?” He winks and laughs haughtily, “Sure, I mean who wouldn’ want ta’ go out with me? I’m hot!” The blush erases its existents from her face, shyness gone, and no trace of happiness of when he said yes. “Oh,” she replies coldly. “Your Miya Atsumu, I meant Miya Osamu. Not you. You’re to self-absorbed with yourself not to mention a brat.” She finishes off with a glare. To be honest, that stung. A lot, yet he smiles waves her off and tells her Osamu is inside.
The smile drops as soon as she goes inside. ‘This is what happens when you close yerself off from people, they don’t actually get to know you. They just go off by what they see. Not bothering ta’ check if it’s fake or not. Samu’ was right I should stop closin’ up.’ He scrubs at the tears harshly that pricked his eyes.
His twin was still inside he decides to start walking to their house.
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The amount of confessions he gets that were meant for his brother is a great amount. The amount of insults he gets is a staggering amount, the insults slowly chips away at the façade he has started to put up and suddenly he finds himself with sleepless nights and plans to reform his personality.
The next morning, he wakes up from a restless night of tosses and turns. Grabbing a pair of shorts and a sweat shirt he heads the bathroom before pausing at the mirror. The bags that were only slight crescent moons were darker and more noticeable. Throwing the clothes on, he now makes it his mission to buy some concealer to hide the growing bags.
---
“Hey Tsumu’?” “Hm,” he hums as a reply taking this as a chance to test out the new personality he chose (along to see if Samu’ can see he’s wearing concealer).
“What’s wrong with ya?” Atsumu pulls up a long list of what’s wrong with him, but decides to go for the clueless response. “What do ya mean Samu’?” His voice is lower, tone less arrogant, and lacking any bite in his words.
He scrunches up his nose at how his (Slightly) older twin is acting, “This! This is what I mean you fucking idiot!”
Atsumu winces when his brother raises his voice (Ignoring how the comment) he never raises his voice. “Samu’,” He starts cautiously. “I really don’t know what you mean by ‘this’.” He laughs softly, it sounds fake to him but everybody complained about his laugh being too loud and annoying.
Osamu glares at him trying to figure out just what the hell is wrong with him. Atsumu shoots him a small (fake) smile before jogging up to the school they have suddenly approached.
Everybody glares immediately at Atsumu but then turns to Osamu then their glares melt into confusion. It seems that neither are acting how Atsumu would act when he enters the courtyard. Now Osamu is getting angry (well angrier than before). Why is everybody trying to glare at Tsumu’? Why did he never notice before?
A group of girls plague him taking a close look at his eyes (his and Atsumu’s eye colors are slightly different) they point at him with a thumbs up, with that confirmation everybody turns their glares towards the back of Atsumu entering the double doors.
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Atsumu walks around humming to the point where it was almost silent, and wringing his hands in a nervous manner eyes darting the left and right.
At volleyball everybody is perplexed by Atsumu’s new personality. Nobody comments on it since his setting was still as good as always.
At the end Osamu drags Atsumu home throwing him on the ground demanding an explanation. He gave a soft but slightly sad smile, shrugging he said, “Thought it was time for a change.” Picking himself off from the ground he goes into the house leaving a dumbstruck Osamu.
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The next day Atsumu and Osamu leave the house with newly dyed hair (and their bathroom a mess).