Chapter Text
It was over. Chuck was defeated, humanity restored, and everyone was free to write their own stories. But Dean couldn’t help but feel incomplete, couldn’t help but wonder, ‘What now?’. He tried to enjoy the freedom. No one is pulling the strings anymore, they’re free to make their own ending. Just him and Sam against the world… that’s what he’s always wanted. But why did it make him feel so empty, so deeply unsatisfied?
Every night, as he closed his eyes, he kept seeing the same thing burned into his memory: Castiel. Meeting him for the first time in the barn, fixing his tie, holding that damn badge upside down, hearing his gravelly voice say ‘Hello, Dean.’… Cas’s deep blue eyes piercing his soul, Dean wishing desperately that he had the courage to make a move. And more than anything else, eternally replaying, Cas’s last moments. Cas looking at him tenderly as he expressed his love, then being immediately absorbed by the Empty. His smile as he was surrounded by the ooze. Dean had never seen him so happy. So free. And then he was just… gone. And Dean was left, frozen, sobbing, too late to say anything back. Too late to tell Cas that maybe, just maybe, he loves him too. Too late to do anything but sit and watch as his closest friend, possibly more, was taken away.
It haunted him. They won, they beat Chuck, but at what cost? Was it really worth it, a life free, but a life alone? Sure, Dean had Sam, but it wasn’t the same. And Sam had Eileen. He didn’t say it, but Dean knew it was only a matter of time before he’d leave the bunker to go settle down in a suburb, start a family with Eileen, and live a good, normal, apple pie life. And Dean was happy for him, he knew that Sam was finally at peace and able to enjoy himself, but part of him dreaded it. Once Sam left, he’d be fully alone. Jack already left, off to rule the universe or whatever, and everyone else.. they were able to be at peace as well.
Dean had asked Jack once, if he could bring Cas back. He pleaded, tears in his eyes, voice cracking. But Jack only smiled sadly.
“Dean, you know I’m hands-off. I can’t get involved, I can’t make the same mistakes as Chuck. I can’t bring him back.”
“But Jack… he raised you. He saved you, multiple times. And you can’t just bring him back? He’s only in there from a deal he made to save you.”
“I’m sorry, Dean. I wish I could bring him back. But I can’t. What’s gone is gone.”
Then Jack left, accompanied by the familiar sound of flapping wings. Dean could only collapse to the ground, defeated.
So that wasn’t an option. Dean hadn’t talked with Jack since.
But another day, another time to put on a good face and try and be happy for his brother. Dean rose from his bed, trying to focus on the positives. Today they were going to go on a picnic with Jody and her girls.
He went into the kitchen, making his normal breakfast and sat down to eat it. He stared blankly at the chair across from him… Cas should’ve been there. He shook his head. He can’t think about that, it’s too early, too hard. Instead, he stared into his coffee and tried to enjoy it.