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The air was filled with that end of term buzz, all of the students of Arkadia University impatiently awaiting the winter break.
Well, all except one.
Raven Reyes had never liked the holidays. They were cold, boring, and lonely. Thanksgiving had already come and gone - this year featured a mother who was too drunk to pick up her phone and a cheating ex-boyfriend who gave her a pity invite to his family gathering.
If there was anything she was thankful for, it was Finn. No matter how sour things had gotten between them, he felt like family. However, she knew he wasn’t really her family, and so when she was invited to Hawaii for Christmas, she had to respectfully decline.
All she had to look forward to until the start of next term was an empty dorm, microwave dinners, and probably drinking her sorrows with far too many cups of hot chocolate.
So as it stands, it’s no surprise that she was the only student still paying attention in the dreary lecture hall at this point in November. The other students all attached to their cell phones, excitedly counting down their days until freedom. Today, even more so than usual - and it even has Raven intrigued.
A phone buzzed to life on a desk to her right.
Another was retrieved from a hoodie pocket to her left.
In front of her, a tablet was passed around by a group of friends.
On principle alone, Raven never checked her notifications in class. She was there to learn, not to mindlessly scroll through the latest selfies and countless hashtags. She was there on scholarship, and she wasn’t about to waste that. Sure, she could probably pass this Advanced Analog Electronics and Instrumentation class in her sleep. And yes, Professor Jaha had been preaching about his (alleged) cult for the past ten minutes instead of actually helping them review for the final...
Okay , she wagered, maybe a quick look at her phone wouldn’t hurt anyone .
AU Updates Tweeted:
BREAKING NEWS! Let’s just say the cost of living at the Polis dorms has… inflated. 🎈
Packing up her books in a hurry, paying no mind to all the eyes on her, Raven bolted from the lecture hall with one mission: Kill. John. Murphy.
John Murphy. The name filled her entire being with rage. She likes to think of herself as a pretty level-headed and strong-willed person, but something about the asshole got under her skin.
Maybe it’s because you find him so attractive , her brain helpfully supplied - but no amount of flaunting his endearingly floppy hair, twinkling blue eyes, or cute ass can cover up the demon that lived within the man.
He was everything that Raven hated: privileged, irresponsible, and rude.
She’d heard from her friend Miller that he grew up going to prep schools, and she wouldn't doubt it with the way he flaunts his money. Always offering to foot the bill for drinks at the parties they both attended, always showing up on campus with the latest technology and fashion.
It’s for that reason that it annoys Raven so much that he’s a Resident Assistant, just like she was. She took the job because she thought it would be a good way to help out, sure, but mainly because she could use the extra cash. In her eyes, John Murphy was taking away an opportunity for someone else who could actually use the money.
Not to mention, he was totally awful at this job. From what she’d seen, he was the RA equivalent of a fun uncle, not the responsible guardian the younger students needed.
Thankfully, they didn't have to live in the same building though. Not-so-thankfully, they were working for rival dorms.
Raven worked at Polis, the newer building near all the STEM buildings on campus. She liked her single room and her quiet common area, filled with quirky and kind residents like Monty and Jasper.
John Murphy was an RA for the Sanctum dorm, normally filled with loud and obnoxious Business students like himself. They threw parties almost every week, and Raven had no clue how they ever got any school work done.
Traditionally, the two dorms engaged in a bit of competition during Welcome Week; just for a bit of team building and fun. However, since John Murphy was added into the mix, it had been a term-long prank war.
To name a few: sprinklers have been set off, toilet paper has been thrown, Google Homes have been hacked, doors have been stolen, but mostly, more than a few choice words have been exchanged.
Raven was gearing up to chew John Murphy out some more, racing across campus in record time, the autumn chill hardly registering.
Making a bee-line for Eligus, Raven’s campus coffee spot of choice, she quickly entered and exited through the back door - not before drawing attention from the surly shop owner.
“Hey, Ponytail! Buy something next time!”
Normally, Raven would feel guilty about that, but today was not a normal situation.
Darting up the short steps to Polis, Raven opened the door.
She tried to open the door. There was a weird resistance, and she couldn’t see anything through the window. Pushing on the door harder, it swung open and she heard a symphony of popping.
Floor to ceiling, the front lobby of the dorm was filled with balloons. Reds and greens and blues and yellows started spilling out and down the steps, deflating in the cold.
Sighing, she noticed some of her residents coming back from class and she pulled out her keys.
“Okay guys, find something sharp and get popping… I guess.”
Raven heard a snicker from behind her.
“Careful Reyes, you never know what balloons might be filled with, could be poison.”
Turning around to level the human cockroach with a death glare, “I wish , then I’d never have to see your ugly mug again.” Raven spat.
She had to work fast, but she was going to get him back before the winter break if it was the last thing she did.
❋❋❋
It was a genius idea - of course it was, she’s Raven Fucking Reyes.
Unfortunately, the keyword in that sentence is was . It turns out, John Murphy decided to stay at the dorms for the winter break. So, when Raven dropped off a cheerfully gift wrapped container of cockroaches to be opened at his house , they were instead released into Sanctum . Leave it to Murphy to be too much of a jackass to return home to eat from his silver spoon, and instead render the entire dorm to be unlivable while the exterminators worked. Which in turn meant that Murphy, and the last few stragglers, had to temporarily move into the Polis building.
Okay, maybe it’s Raven’s fault, but her karma is having to live with Murphy, even if it’s just for a few weeks.
She’d already had to see him half-naked and glistening after a shower intheir communal bathroom (which did not help her traitorous internal dialogue) but he had yet to do anything truly heinous.
In fact, it had been downright boring so far. Raven had even started to get a little stir crazy, and so she decided to throw on a fleece jacket and fuzzy touque and head over to Eliguis for the first of many hot chocolates. She was grateful that they’re staying open during the holiday break despite most of the students being finished finals and on their way home.
Entering the store, she was surprised to not see anyone working at the counter. Normally, if not the rather scary owner, it’s Octavia Blake - a freshman from Murphy’s dorm.
“Hello? Are you open?” She called out.
“At your service,” a voice announced from the closed-off employee's only area, “Sorry I’m a little latte.”
Raven’s mouth threatened to betray her and smile at the lame excuse of a joke, but when she saw who the comedian is, she frowned.
“What the fuck Murphy?”
“Language, Reyes,” Murphy chided, tying an apron around his waist, “This is a school facility.”
“Why the hell are you behind the counter? Is this a hostile takeover? Should I call the cops?”
Maybe she was a little dramatic in the way she slams her hand down on the counter because Murphy holds up his hands to appease her.
“Look, I’m just filling in for a few hours. Diyoza’s daughter has a Christmas concert but Octavia has the day off and is going to Bellamy’s. No one else is still in town, so I figured, how hard can it be?”
“Diyoza? Bellamy? What?” Raven wished she could sound a little more intelligent, but she felt as though she’d stepped into a strange dimension where everyone speaks the language but her and John Murphy works at a cafe.
“Diyoza owns the shop, how do you not know her name? You're always here,” Murphy shrugged and brushed off some invisible dust on his apron, “Bellamy is Octavia’s older brother.”
“How do you know I’m here all the time? Stalker, much?” Raven tried to deflect.
“Because unlike you, I actually pay attention to people. I don’t just have my nose in a book all the time.”
“Whatever. Can you make me a drink or what?”
“One hot chocolate, coming up.”
“How did you...?”
“I pay attention to people, remember?”
Murphy set to getting Raven her hot chocolate, and the quiet in the coffee shop was unnerving her.
“So how much money are you scamming?”
“What?” Murphy replies distractedly, he doesn’t seem to know how to work the big machine well.
“How much money is Diyoza giving you?”
“None? Like I said, it’s just a couple of hours, no big deal, you’re the first customer I’ve had.”
Raven didn't know how to give a response to that, and Murphy didn't seem to want one.
Finally, Murphy hands over her drink - he even included the special marshmallows that Eliguis’ offers in the winter months.
“Did you poison this?”
“I thought about it, but I figured I have plenty of time to get back at you for the roaches.”
She let out a loud laugh at that, and he looks almost proud.
“I’d tip you, but,” she says, handing over some change, “I don’t really think you need it.”
Murphy laughs again in response, wiping down the counter, “See you around, roomie.”
Raven nods and makes her way out of the store, but something stops her before she fully gets outside.
“Murphy? Thanks.”
❋❋❋
Raven thought that the coffee shop would be a write off; Murphy being a decent human one day, but he would be back to his asshole ways in no time.
That is until she woke up one afternoon after taking a nap and found what had to be an alien in Murphy’s body.
She’s never seen the small communal kitchen so full, groceries were covering the counter.
As she woke up some more she noticed that a bulk of it was baking ingredients, but before she could really comprehend anything, Monty, Jasper, and Murphy came into the room.
“Hey Raven! You joining us?” Jasper cheerily said. Raven loved him, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to be making any baked goods with him or Monty. Murphy too, but for other reasons.
“Joining you for… what?”
“We’re making cookies,” Monty supplied, “Don’t worry though, just regular cookies.”
“Oh,” Raven laughed, “Okay but why?”
Monty shrugged, “Murphy said his dad’s recipe is really good, and we’ve got nothing else to do.”
That piqued Raven’s interest. If Murphy was fond enough of his father to use his recipes, why wouldn’t he just go home to see him? It was really none of her business though, so she said nothing.
“Well, okay then.” Putting her hair in a ponytail so it didn’t get in the way of baking, her eyes met Murphy’s.
“I like your hair down, it looks… nice.” He said sincerely; Raven wasn’t sure what his play was.
“Thanks, Murphy.”
He laughed at the suspicious tone she gave him and launched into explaining the recipe.
Apparently, he knew it so well that he didn’t even have it written down anywhere, so a lot of the process was just listening to and watching Murphy.
Monty and Jasper were different, endearingly so in Raven’s opinion. Not everyone understood their humour or liked to be around them, but Murphy seemed to be taking to them just fine. Genuinely laughing at their jokes, and asking them about their interests. He surprised her when he even asked Monty about his thesis on algae and didn’t even complain when he got a ten-minute explanation.
She learned that Monty had planned to stay at the school for the break because his parents were overseas on a research trip. Jasper could have gone home, but since Monty couldn’t afford to buy a plane ticket to go with him, he decided to stay as well. That both warmed her heart and broke it because she wondered if she’d ever find anyone who would love her that much, anyone to be her family.
When Jasper put on a Christmas playlist, Raven groaned and assumed that Murphy would be a scrooge just like her, but he just smiled and said he liked the music and that it reminded him of home.
“Okay, so you’re going to want to crack two eggs, but separate the whites from the yolk - do you think you can do that, Reyes?”
“Roger that. Nothing I can’t handle.” She said confidently, and then promptly broke the yolk.
Her cheeks got warm as the three boys laughed at her, Murphy the loudest. So, she did the most logical thing and dumped the remainder of the egg on his head.
She looked down at his face and saw a smirk growing there, that twinkling in his eyes again.
“You’ve done it now.” He growled at her, but it came out with more of a laugh than anything.
He reached into the bowl of dry ingredients and threw a shower of flour at her, coating her face and making her cough.
She blindly tried to do the same to him but instead hit both Jasper and Monty.
Pandemonium set off, drawing the attention of Octavia, Fox, and some of the other students still at the dorm.
Raven couldn't help but sneak glances at Murphy. She’d seen him laugh before, often at her expense after a prank, but this is different. He had crinkles in the corners of his eyes, and he was nearly bent in half in his laugh induced stupor. His hair was a mess, his clothes were filthy, but he’d never looked so handsome to her.
Eventually, the war died down, and the cookie dough finally got made and was safely in the oven. Murphy and Raven, the only RAs left, were the last two in the kitchen cleaning up - typical.
“I didn’t know you were a chef.” She said to him, toying with the rag she was holding.
“It’s nothing special, just wanted to do something fun with Monty and Jasper.”
“Why?”
He avoided her eyes, almost like he was embarrassed.
“I know what it's like to have to feel alone during the holidays, I just wanted to help.”
Raven has felt speechless way too many times these last few days. Again, she wanted to ask about his family situation, but she didn’t want to pry. She had to wonder: was the sarcasm and snark just a cover for him actually being a decent person, not the annoying douche she’d come to know? Did she have things wrong about John Murphy?
“Anyway, you have stuff all over your face. Go shower, you filthy gremlin.” He said suddenly and twisted a kitchen towel up and snapped it at her butt.
Okay, so, maybe she didn’t.
❋❋❋
Then again, maybe she did.
She’d been going back and forth between the conflicting thoughts for days now. Every time she’d had a genuine moment with Murphy, he’d ruin it with some teasing or annoying behaviour. They’ve gone for walks around campus, played board games, even just talked - but it was always fleeting, and asshole Murphy always returned.
She was currently pretending to watch a crappy Hallmark movie, but really she was just watching Murphy. He was sitting on the floor trying to solve a puzzle on the coffee table in front of her.
He seemed… soft. He normally has this bravado and grandiosity about him - more often than not to impress his gang of idiot friends, it seemed. But here, sitting in a dorm softly laughing at the protagonist on tv being so stupid, and trying to put together a picture of a puppy wearing a Santa hat, he was different.
Raven betrayed herself and let out a content sigh, and those blue eyes met hers and the smile he gave her was so bright it made butterflies take flight in her stomach.
Just as she was about to say something, Fox came in the front door sobbing.
Sharing an alarmed look with Murphy while the young girl stomped away into her room, Raven felt frozen.
She had never been good with emotions. Hell, maybe it runs in the family seeing as she doesn’t even think her mom knows who her father really is - or cares.
“I don’t-,” She starts, “Should we talk to her?”
Murphy must see the panic in her eyes because she gives her a pitying look.
“Just don’t mess up my puzzle while I’m gone.” He said, pushing himself up off the floor.
Fox opened the door shortly after his knock, and Murphy was ushered into the room, giving one last fleeting look at Raven, and then she was left with silence.
What seems like an eternity later, but is probably closer to twenty minutes, Murphy emerged with an slightly happier looking Fox coming out after.
“We’re having a party, bitches!” Murphy yelled and ignored Raven’s questioning look.
“Reyes, we’ll be back in a bit after we get some provisions. I’m inviting a few more people over, okay?”
She wasn’t sure if it was Fox’s hopeful face or the fact that he actually seemed to be asking permission, but Raven found herself nodding.
Once the pair got their things and left, Raven wandered back to her own room and looked in the mirror.
The joggers and sweatshirt she was wearing had pretty much become her uniform over the break; but, maybe she could dress up a bit if they’re having some company.
After applying a bit of makeup and putting on a pair of jeans and a bright red sweater, she looked herself over again. For some reason, she even decided to take her hair out of her signature ponytail - although she refused to analyze that decision any further.
When Murphy and Fox finally got back to the dorm, people already started arriving. It was a small crowd, but still odd to see more than a handful of people around.
Octavia Blake showed up, along with a man sporting a displeased look who had to be her brother. She saw Fox and quickly pulled her into a crushing hug before dragging her away to get a drink.
Raven herself made herself useful and started putting out some snacks, while Murphy and some of the boys set up the table to act as a makeshift beer pong game.
Pouring herself a drink of spiced (To be festive, Jasper had supplied) rum and coke, and settled down on the couch to watch the festivities over her shoulder. Which included a shy Fox being dragged into a game of beer pong, along with an exasperated Bellamy.
“Does she seem okay?” Murphy appeared on the couch beside her, beer in hand.
“I think so… but what even happened?”
“She’s been staying on campus so she and her boyfriend can catch the same flight home since he was still finishing finals,” He took a sip and shook his head, “The bastard dumped her today, so she’s been here for no reason.”
“And what? You thought a party was a reason to be here?” She questioned.
“Eh, maybe more of a distraction, but I just didn’t want her to feel sad and alone until she could get home.”
She turned to face Murphy more firmly, wobbling slightly in the process. She didn’t party much during the school year, and her drink was hitting her faster than she thought it would. Murphy steadied her, and she wasn’t sure if it was her imagination, or if his hand lingered on her arm for longer than necessary.
“Do you have a complex about that or something?”
He hummed in response, raising an eyebrow.
“Being alone - you mention it a lot.”
“No one wants to be alone.” He murmured.
He had that look on his face again, the soft one, and it made her walls fall down.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” She agreed, and held out her hand, “Truce? At least for now?”
He took her hand, and she was surprised how natural it felt - almost like finding a matching puzzle piece.
“Truce.”
Neither of them let go of each other’s hand for a moment, but Murphy was the one to put an end to it.
“I’m going to get another drink, you want another?”
“Sure Murph.” She smiled.
The night flew by after that, with the help of more drinks than she can count.
She eventually found herself making her way back to the couch, this time Murphy beating her there.
Gracelessly, she fell onto the cushions, nearly ending up in his lap. He said nothing, just pulled her close and started singing along to the song that was playing. She giggled, leaning her head against his shoulder, and she didn’t know the last time she had felt so warm .
Wanting to savour the moment, she decided to close her eyes, just for a moment.
❋❋❋
Raven opened her eyes up with a start, and her first thought was that she was going to be late for class.
After a moment, she remembered there was no school, they had thrown a party, and she was still on the common room couch.
The next thing she noticed was her position. Her neck was craned at an uncomfortable angle on someone’s shoulder, and there was an arm around her shoulders holding her close. Despite everything, she felt safe and secure.
Still, she started to pry herself from the position, trying to be careful not to wake the other person.
Wait - it was… Murphy?
She must have let out a gasp because his eyes opened and he had a moment of confusion until he spotted Raven.
“Morning Raven.” He smiled at her, and it destroyed any desire to escape the situation.
“Hi Murphy.” She whispered back, noticing all the other students laying around them.
Murphy checked his watch (a fucking Apple watch) and looked back at her.
“Wanna go get a coffee?”
“Sure.” She pulled him up off the couch, and they crept around the unconscious bodies until they gathered coats, boots, and keys.
“So…” Murphy breathed out.
“So.”
“Think our truce will last a little longer? Or should I start planning my next attack? Mbege had such a good idea the other day, you’d hate it. I can’t wait until he gets back and we can make your life hell again.”
Something about the smirk on his face struck her as wrong . She didn’t know why, but she could feel him closing in on himself, shutting out that soft side of him once again.
It hit her - this was all just meaningless to him. Helping out Diyoza, being nice to Jasper and Monty, trying to distract Fox, and everything with Raven herself. He was doing it all because he was bored . He just didn’t want to be alone , and he was too much of an idiot to just go home to the people he actually cared about.
When January comes around, and school is back in session, he’s never going to spare any of those people any attention - and she’s not going to be heartbroken about it. She was not going to let him lead her on, so she decided to put a stop to it now.
Stopping on the snowy path, he immediately noticed and turned to question her.
“No,” She interrupts, “I get to talk.”
He looked confused, and maybe a little sad at her tone, but waved at her to continue.
“Why didn’t you just go home for the holidays? Are you really that much of an asshole that you can’t go home to your Mommy and Daddy, who clearly give you everything? You don't know how lucky you are. But instead, you just stay here, and you… you toy with people! You preach about not wanting anyone to be alone when it’s you Murphy - it’s you you’re worried about. You’re a leech Murphy, you’re only nice to people when you want something from them.”
“What the fuck Raven?”
“Tell me I’m wrong then - tell me you really care about me, about all of us!”
She expected him to yell back, to get mad and try to get even like every other time.
Instead, all he did was look at her like a kicked puppy and mutter, “You don’t know anything about me.”
Too stunned to stop him, Raven watched him as Murphy walked back to the dorm, and without anywhere else to go, she headed towards Eliguius.
Entering the shop, she was greeted by Diyoza.
“Oh look! It’s Ponytail - without the ponytail. Are you going to buy anything this time?”
“Just a black coffee please.”
“Ooh, she means business today.” Replied Diyoza, before setting to work.
“I’m not in the mood, Diyoza.”
That caught the woman’s attention, Diyoza stopped what she was doing with Raven’s order and coming over to the counter.
“Who do I have to kill for telling you my name?”
“Murphy - John Murphy,” Raven admitted with a sigh, “But don’t bother him about it.”
Diyoza raised an eyebrow at that before a look of realization came over her face.
“You’re not Raven, are you?”
“Yes I am, how did you know that?”
Diyoza let out a laugh before replying.
“That little devil talks about you all the time,” She placed her hands on the counter, “It’s a little sappy for my taste, but he’s pretty cute about it.”
Raven hits her hand on her forehead, stomach sinking to her feet.
“Shit shit shit! I messed up so bad,” She aggressively smoothed back her hair, “He’s never going to talk to me ever again.”
“Why do you care?”
“Excuse me?”
“Why do you care if he never talks to you again?”
Raven chews her lip and stares at her feet, deliberating on her answer.
“I like his stupid hair and his stupid eyes and stupid smile. He makes me laugh with his stupid jokes. He listens to me. I like watching him solve his stupid puzzles. He… he makes me feel warm.”
When Raven looked up, she could see Diyoza looking at her with a hint of a smile.
“Ponytail? I think you’re stupid in love with him.”
“Oh fuck me.”
❋❋❋
Taking a deep breath, Raven rang the doorbell in front of her.
It was Christmas Eve, and after her forced moment of clarity, Diyoza had invited her over for a holiday celebration for her staff and some other students who weren't going home that Murphy was also attending.
Diyoza opened the door and appraised Raven’s outfit; she was wearing a dark green sweater dress and has her hair loose, but held back with a pair of rhinestone reindeer antlers.
It’s not something she’d normally wear, but she had called Fox when she was at the mall and had asked for help picking out an outfit - and Murphy seemed to like the holiday spirit, so she leaned into it.
“Merry Whatever,” Raven greeted, thrusting a bottle of wine into Diyoza’s hand, “Is Murphy here yet?”
“He’s in the living room.” The older woman pointed down the hallway towards a room with an open arch doorway.
Raven nodded her head and waved off the wish of luck that was sent her way.
After all - she was Raven Reyes, she didn't need luck.
Although her confidence wavered when she entered the living room, first seeing Octavia and her brother, and even Jasper and Monty. A little girl was playing with Octavia - Diyoza’s daughter who she had learned was named Hope.
Then she saw Murphy. Sipping on a beer in the corner and dressed in all black, it just felt wrong .
Murphy was Christmas music and Hallmark movies. He was making you laugh even when you didn't think you could. He was happiness, plain and simple.
She walked over to him, but he was silent and she didn’t know how to start the conversation; so she just held out the gift bag she had brought for him and said a simple “Sorry.”
“Reyes, it’s fine,” He tried to brush her off, “I won’t bother you anymore, don’t worry.”
“Murphy… This is not your fault. I was an asshole. I talked to Diyoza and she said I was being a judgemental bitch. So, I’m sorry - I really am.”
“I wouldn’t go that far, but I did mean it when I said you know nothing about me, that's on purpose,” Murphy started, and Raven took a chance by sitting down next to him, “I don’t have parents Raven, not anymore. All of the money I have? It’s an inheritance. I’ve never attended prep school, it was a boarding school for kids in the foster system. Everything people say about me, I just kind of let them. I don’t want to be looked at as the poor little orphan.”
“What, like me?”
Murphy looks at Raven with a questioning glance.
“Well, my mom is still alive, but isn’t ever sober enough to count as a person… But that doesn’t matter, what does matter is that I hurt you. I judged you and pushed you away just because I was scared of losing the one person who made me feel happy.”
“You make me feel happy too, Ray,” Murphy said softly, and it made the butterflies in her stomach go crazy again, "I like your antlers."
Nervously, she reached into the gift bag, “Anyway, I brought you some things, as a peace offering. I made some cookies, I tried to remember your recipe but I think I used too much salt - they kind of taste like Play-Doh. Then I bought a puzzle, this one has a cat on it, but I thought it was close enough. I also bought you-”
Raven was cut off by a hand on her jaw, pulling her face to look up.
“I don’t need gifts, or apologies, Raven,” He murmured, inching his face close to hers, “I just need you.”
With that - he kissed her, soft and gentle and nothing like she imagined it would be like.
Growing up, she never really ever felt like she belonged, her mother was never the stability she needed - but sitting in a (surprisingly) kind woman’s house, surrounded by friends who understood her and a warm fire, Raven had never felt more at home. She always thought that a family meant what the Collins’ have, and she wouldn’t be happy until she had that for herself - but with a hand running through her hair and a pair of lips on her own, she’d never felt more ecstatic.
Maybe Raven Reyes didn’t have to be alone for the holidays after all. Maybe she didn't have to be alone ever again. She was home.