Chapter Text
It wasn’t unheard-of for dual cultivation to result in a pregnancy, even when the pregnancy should have been physically impossible for anyone but a cultivator. However, the bearer of the pregnancy usually had to reach the highest levels of cultivation before it was possible. Couples had failed to produce any children even after engaging in dual cultivation for decades. Wei Wuxian’s golden core should have been too weak to allow for such an event. So it wasn’t complete foolishness on his Lan Wangji’s part to not have used any form of protection.
Or so Wei Wuxian tried to persuade himself as he sat in the rabbit meadow in the lotus pose, eyes closed as he felt out the tiny duet in the flow of his spiritual energy. He’d taken the precaution of discretely reading every book in Cloud Recesses regarding this topic. He was almost sure that he was pregnant. And yet.
Wei Wuxian sighed and opened his eyes. “I wish Wen Qing were here,” he told the nearest rabbit.
It hopped away when it realized he was once again paying enough attention to his surroundings to be a menace.
He groaned and threw himself into a sprawl with an arm over his eyes. Wen Qing was the best healer of the Qishan-Wen Sect, and the woman he had come to regard as a sister. Her brusque manner and impatience for his nonsense had made it very satisfying to whine at her. Not to mention, she would be able to give him a diagnosis. He smiled as he imagined Wen Qing’s reaction to his priorities. But these days she was far too busy founding a school in Qinghe to visit him.
And of course he thought of Shijie. He thought about how happy she’d been when she found out that she was pregnant with Jin Ling. How excited she was at the prospect of meeting her child and watching them grow. Jin Zixuan, too, had spent his last breaths telling Wei Wuxian how excited Jiang Yanli was to have Wei Wuxian see their new family.
He shut his eyes harder and tried to steer his thoughts in another direction.
When Lan Wangji joined Wei Wuxian in the rabbit meadow, he found his husband holding a fat rabbit captive and interrogating it.
“Look at you! You’re such a good rabbit! How many babies have you had?”
“None,” Lan Wangji answered.
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian said happily. He released the rabbit to meet Lan Wangji in an embrace.
“How did the meeting go?”
“It went well. Xiongzhang conducted most of it in the end.”
“Zewu-Jun spoke with Sec Leader Nie?”
“Mn.”
Wei Wuxian shook his head. “Zewu-Jun really is gracious. It’s not that I don’t understand Sect Leader Nie’s actions, but if he owes an apology to anyone after all these years, it’s to Zewu-Jun.”
Lan Wangji hesitated. Wei Wuxian knew that while he truly felt empathy for his brother’s pain, Lan Wangji bore no ill-will toward Nie Huaisang.
“Brother understands Sect Leader Nie’s actions as well. He, too, mourns Chifeng-Zun.”
After a moment, Wei Wuxian nodded. He could not help comparing Nie Huaisang’s rage to the rage that had driven Jiang Wanyin all these years. Wei Wuxian and Jiang Wanyin, too, had once called each other ‘brother,’ and now they could hardly bear to be in the same room. Perhaps Lan Xichen, knowing the role he had played in Nie Mingjue’s death, could not blame Nie Huaisang for avenging him anymore than Wei Wuxian could blame Jiang Wanyin for avenging Jiang Yanli. Perhaps Lan Xichen, too, welcomed the justice that the universe itself had not created.
Lan Wangji lifted Wei Wuxian’s chin as Wei Wuxian considered the matter.
“You have been crying.”
Wei Wuxian flinched out his gentle hold and hid his face against Lan Wangji’s chest. Lan Wangji stroked his back while Wei Wuxian let the wave of guilt and shame wash over him. He knew Lan Wangji would not press him to explain his tears. He also knew that he would worry if Wei Wuxian did not tell him.
“Shijie,” he said simply.
Wei Wuxian had not told Lan Wangji about the steady flicker near his golden core yet. He had read enough to know that dual cultivation pregnancy was very fragile in the early stages. Regular pregnancies were risky enough- those that relied on a steady and generous flow of spiritual energy were even less stable. It was strange that his body had managed it at all.
Wei Wuxian was determinedly not thinking about justice, with regard to his right to be a parent. He only reminded himself not to trust his luck, that the Heavens had done enough in granting him A-Yuan’s survival and his own return to Lan Wangji’s little family. It hurt to know he had missed so much of Lan Sizhui’s life. It hurt even more to know he had torn Jiang Yanli from Jin Ling’s life entirely. Wei Wuxian did not deserve this. However, Wei Wuxian was fiercely certain that Lan Wangji deserved better. Lan Wangji had lost his mother and father, had seen his home burnt, had mourned his soulmate for thirteen years, and had watched his brother go through deep grief. He deserved the chance to be a father. As much as Wei Wuxian wished to give this to him, he was determined to keep his little duet a secret. Just until its fate had been decided.
Lan Wangji knew nothing of the struggle within Wei Wuxian. Still, his arms tightened around him and his lips dropped to Wei Wuxian’s hair. The rabbits drew closer and closer as the silence between them stretched onward.
“Why are you so sure that rabbit doesn’t have any babies?” Wei Wuxian asked once he was sure he had composed himself, pulling away from Lan Wangji to try to find the particularly fat rabbit again. “They all look so similar.”
Lan Wangji was used to Wei Wuxian’s coping mechanisms after their years of marriage. He let Wei Wuxian go and didn’t let any lingering concern show on his face.
“All of the rabbits in this meadow are male.”
“There’s another rabbit meadow?”
Lan Wangji smiled at Wei Wuxian’s excitement and curiosity.
“Not in Cloud Recesses.”
“Then how do you have so many?”
“Every year, the juniors disciples pick a rabbit to pair off with a visiting female. We keep the male kits. The owner of the female rabbit keeps the female kits.”
He made a face that Wei Wuxian recognized as his decision-making face. Wei Wuxian grinned in anticipation, knowing he was about to share something absurd.
“There is an annual contest in Gusu to pick this visiting female.”
Wei Wuxian laughed with as much amusement as Lan Wangji had likely feared.
“Have you had dinner yet?”
It was a paltry attempt to change the subject, and Wei Wuxian did not dignify it with any acknowledgement. He sat down and patted the space next to him in invitation. Lan Wangji sat down with apparent reluctance: He knew it was story-time now.
“Hanguang-Jun! Your rabbit meadow must be famous in Gusu. Who picks the female? Who picks the male? Such an important engagement-”
“It was Xiongzhang’s idea to begin with,” Lan Wangji said, and then hesitated.
Wei Wuxian smirked. He could tell that Lan Wangji did not know whether he was shirking responsibility or awarding credit.
“The rabbits of Cloud Recesses are all descendants of those you gave me. Xiongzhang knew I worried about their longevity, and he knew we had to be prudent in managing the size of the herd. So he proposed this solution.”
“Mn,” Wei Wuxian said, restraining himself in the hopes of hearing more.
“It was not-” Lan Wangji began, and then cut himself off to lower his gaze and exhale softly in his version of a sigh.
Wei Wuxian sensed he’d given up on a feeble excuse. “It was very Lan for a few years, I imagine. And then?”
Lan Wangji shot him a look over the ‘very Lan’ comment, but he continued. “Sizhui-”
Wei Wuxian laughed again. The only thing this story had needed was adorable baby A-Yuan. And then the scene actually played out in his mind and he gasped. “Is this how he learned where babies come from? Baby bunnies?”
“…”
Wei Wuxian attacked him with the most pleading look he could manage, hoping for the story of Baby A-Yuan and baby bunnies. Then he noticed how pink the tips of Lan Wangji’s ears were. This was not in response to Wei Wuxian’s pleading look. Wei Wuxian had cultivated an entire armory of pleading looks designed to elicit specific reactions from Lan Wangji, and this wasn’t his pin-me-down-in-the-meadow-er-gege pleading look.
“Lan Zhan…?” he coaxed, intrigued.
“Wei Ying.”
There was a touch of coolness to the way he said his name, so Wei Wuxian knew he was hiding something.
“Please.” Wei Ying grabbed one of his hands in both of his own. “Please tell me you were the one who sat down with Sizhui and explained sex.”
“I had to do so, eventually,” Lan Wangji granted. “I needed to correct some misconceptions.”
Wei Wuxian clapped his hands in front of his face, nearly overwhelmed with delight at the prospect of hearing about Lan Sizhui’s embarrassing childhood ideas. Lan Wangji looked at him coolly and maintained his silence.
When Wei Wuxian could no longer stand the suspense, he prompted “Yes? Misconceptions about what?”
“Radish farming…”
Wei Wuxian lowered his hands in confusion.
“…and the similarities to child-rearing.”
It took a moment to connect the subtle accusation to a memory, and then Wei Wuxian collapsed into peals of laughter, rolling in the grass. Lan Wangji indulged him by letting him laugh for quite a while before he leaned over and covered Wei Wuxian’s body with his own.
“Noise is forbidden,” he reminded him.
This was distracting enough that Wei Wuxian managed to stop laughing, but he could not stop grinning. He grabbed at the front of Lan Wangji’s robes to keep him there.
“Lan Zhan!” he exclaimed in admiration. The way he’d kept a straight face throughout!
“Mn.” He seemed pleased.
Wei Wuxian wanted to match him somehow. He gathered himself with a great deal of effort and tried to look like a man having an epiphany. “Lan Zhan, have you considered…? Bunnies like to burrow in the ground often, and they have lots of babies. Maybe we’re doing it wrong.”
He playfully wriggled his hips against Lan Wangji’s to clarify his meaning. Lan Wangji’s gaze flickered on Wei Wuxian’s but he otherwise maintained his composure. He looked thoughtful as he considered Wei Wuxian’s question.
“No, that cannot be. You told me you gave birth to A-Yuan. Was I not right to trust you?”
Wei Wuxian lost it again. After a moment of victory, Lan Wangji graced him with a laugh of his own and Wei Wuxian had no choice but to push off the ground and kiss him to relieve the wave of adoration engulfing him. One kiss wasn’t enough. He kissed him again, and then dragged his husband down because he decided he wasn’t done kissing him. Lan Wangji let him take the lead. Wei Wuxian enjoyed the chance to peck at his lips and the tip of his nose and then to cheekily swipe his tongue over and then past Lan Wangji’s lips. Lan Wangji turned his head then and deepened the kiss and Wei Wuxian sighed in contentment. He felt Lan Wangji smile against his lips before pulling away, and then he was smiling down at Wei Wuxian so warmly that Wei Wuxian could only keep teasing him.
“And then what? That can’t be the end of the rabbit matchmaking story. You almost distracted me.”
Lan Wangji sat up and pulled Wei Wuxian into a more decent sitting position with him. Wei Wuxian almost felt a twinge of guilt for attacking his husband in a public area, again, before he remembered it had been Hanguang-Jun who had pinned him down.
“And then all the juniors who help care for the rabbits took interest in this task of Sizhui’s.”
Wei Wuxian could easily imagine the dutiful, focused faces of the Lan Sect juniors as they approached this task. He grinned. Little terrors.
“And they established protocol and order, as any good Lan Sect cultivator would. Now that I think of it, this Lan discipline has the potential to be a terrifying force, if properly misdirected.”
Lan Wangji gave him a little sideways look. The kind that meant Wei Wuxian was being dense in some way. Ah well, Wei Wuxian thought. He would tell him if it ended up being important.
“Mn.”
“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan,” he sighed. “I can’t believe it took you this long to tell me-”
The words stumbled on their way out. He remembered why he’d been in the rabbit meadow to begin with, and the secret he was keeping from his husband. He scrambled to continue before Lan Wangji noticed anything odd.
“Is it too late to invite Sizhui to dinner with us? He can tell me more about this rabbit matchmaking business.”
“Now?”
“If you’re hungry.”
Lan Wangji pulled both of them to their feet. Wei Wuxian got a sudden burst of inspiration.
“I was also thinking- Sizhui and I have not visited Wen Qing and Wen Ning in a long time. Maybe it’s time for a trip.”
“Mn.”
The two walked back to the Jingshi.
.*.*.*.*.*.
Wen Qing touched two fingers to Wei Wuxian's belly, send a stream of spiritual energy, and confirmed he was pregnant. This took all of two minutes.
“We can’t know for sure yet whether it will develop,” she murmured as if half to herself. "However- Congratulations. It takes exceptional cultivation to achieve this. Especially with your particular body.”
A pause as Wei Wuxian heard that and then tried to absorb it and believe it and all that it meant. He lifted a hand to that spot Wen Qing had touched.
“I think this is the longest silence you have ever held,” she noted, frowning at him. "Let’s have some tea.”
She sat him down and walked away. He heard quiet voices. When he looked up an eternity later, Wen Qing was seated across from him and there was a tea service between them.
“Sorry, I-“ he exhaled. “It’s a mix of feelings."
He gripped his teacup more for the heat of it in his hands than out of an intention to drink it.
“Do you want this pregnancy?”
He glanced up. “Yes. What can I do?”
She hesitated. “I should not be both your healer and your friend.”
“Who else is qualified to help me? I trust you.”
He waited. Trust was the important word there. He knew Wen Qing could hear the tremble in his voice, and the silent plea.
Wen Qing sighed. “You are so persuasive about bad ideas.”
She went to a drawer and retrieved a writing set. Wei Wuxian breathed out in relief now that he knew he would have Wen Qing on his side.
“Okay, I need to take some notes. Maybe write a prescription. First of all, you need to keep up with your cultivation in ways that do not endanger your body. You want to gather spiritual energy, not waste it healing. This means,” and here she stopped to smile “I can finally say I’ve developed a way to stop you from drinking."
He gave her a pouting frown and sipped at his tea obediently. “I knew that much. How can you claim credit? If anyone deserves the credit, it is Lan Zhan.”
She ignored that. “No demonic cultivation. Try to sleep regularly. Avoid risky food.”
She wrote out the list as she continued verbally, describing the risks to both Wei Wuxian and the little potential-baby.
“And, finally, try to meditate every day. It’s a good way to keep track of Little Sparky over there,” she said, pointing.
He snorted at her nickname. “How long do I have to keep doing this?”
“If you’re lucky, about seven more months.”
“Oh, right. You mentioned the birth…What exactly will that involve?”
She smiled. “Knives.”
“Of course,” he said, and let her see him shiver as she went into ghastly detail. He waited until the end to ask the question that made him afraid. “When will I know?"
“It gets significantly more safe about three months in. You already made it through the most dangerous time, but you still have a month to go.”
He nodded. They drank tea in silence for a few minutes. Then he looked up and smiled at her.
“Lady Wen. This is some nice tea.”
He left it at that. She could choose whether to pick up the subject or not. The door was already closed because of their previous discussion.
“Sect Leader Nie has been generous,” she said. There was a small smile on her face. “He is considering a marriage to me. For practical reasons, of course.”
“I don’t understand,” he admitted.
She snorted. “All you sword cultivators think about is military considerations. Maybe heirs and the treasury.”
As if she weren’t an accomplished sword cultivator herself.
“No, I never think about those things.”
It wasn’t entirely true, as she knew due to their joint leadership on Burial Mounds, but it was true enough to make her quirk her lips.
“Sect Leader Nie is looking for a respectable way to move his Nie Sect away from saber cultivation. None of the other sects can give him that. The remnants of Qishan-Wen can, because his sect can absorb ours instead of sharing a legacy with another major sect. We had the most sophisticated medicine and liberal arts before the Sunshot Campaign. Now his sect can acquire our knowledge through alliance, and claim it for Nie Sect’s future generations.”
“Mn,” he said with a nod.
It made sense for Nie Huaisang on a personal level too. He loved collecting fine things. He appreciated sophistication, craft, art, and beauty. Of course he would want to add these traditions to his sect.
“As for what we get out of it…” Wen Qing stared out into space, but her chin came up proudly “Qishan-Wen Sect is practically extinct. I wish to preserve the knowledge I’ve worked for all my life. I want our people to be remembered by more than the atrocities that led to the Sunshot Campaign.”
He smiled at the intensity of her purpose, the fire in her eyes.
“Wen Qing,” he said in wonder. “You really are worthy of your Sun motif.”
She came back to herself with a little smile. “If he asks, I’m going to accept. The only inconvenient thing is that we must produce heirs for his sect.”
“Well, I was going to ask if you needed an alternative-”
She smacked his arm.
He yelped. “I meant an alternative to producing heirs! Like, stealing one."
“I don’t need to steal one. I’ll just take that one,” she said, pointing at his midriff.
He drew back as dramatically as he knew how, shielding his potential-baby, his precious little spritual-energy-duet, with his arms. “Wen Qing! How is that not stealing?”
“It’s a fair trade for A-Yuan,” she joked. “Didn’t he make first place on the list of young masters?”
“Yes, he did,” Wei Wuxian said.
They exchanged a proud smile.
“Alright, I’ve given you enough attention. Where is A-Yuan?”
They left the room to find Lan Sizhui together.
.*.*.*.*.*.
Lan Wangji was on his feet before his jade token had finished its notice of an authorized high-level arrival. Wei Wuxian and Lan Sizhui were finally back from their trip.
He got to the main entrance before they did, though Wei Wuxian was running at full speed.
Lan Sizhui was attempting not to shout or break into a run as he called “Senior Wei! Senior Wei!”
Wei Wuxian flipped in the air to use up the momentum and landed at a standstill before Lan Wangji, just outside the gate to Cloud Recesses.
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian said, and landed a kiss -to the side of his lips- before pulling away, hands behind his back.
He then tilted his head at Lan Wangji with laughing eyes that asked ‘What are you going to do about it?’
As Wei Wuxian’s hands were behind him in an oh so demure pose, Lan Wangji grabbed the front of his robes and pulled him the last few steps into the wards of Cloud Recesses.
They didn’t have time for anything too satisfying. Lan Wangji nipped at his bottom lip before releasing him. Wei Wuxian smugly smoothed his robes and Lan Wangji tried to smooth his expression into disapproval at Wei Wuxian as Lan Sizhui’s footsteps approached.
Lan Sizhui bowed when he passed the gate, pink-cheeked and hair in a disarray. The disarray looked more like a product of Wei Wuxian’s affection than a result of reckless flying.
“I won,” Wei Wuxian told Lan Sizhui.
“Hanguang-Jun,” Lan Sizhui greeted.
“How was your trip?”
“It was great. We ate some really good food,” Lan Sizhui said.
“Did you learn anything?”
“Aunt Wen taught me some healing techniques I can use during a night hunt.”
“He also taught a little,” Wei Wuxian boasted on his behalf.
Lan Wangji turned to Lan Sizhui for the rest of the story.
“There were a few young students at Aunt Wen’s school, and they were curious about my guqin. So I told them a little about its history.”
“They were very impressed with your disciple,” Wei Wuxian said.
Lan Wangji understood what he meant: They were just as impressed by his kindness and patience as they were with his skills and knowledge.
“You did well,” Lan Wangji told him.
Lan Sizhui smiled. Now that Wei Wuxian was back in his life, Lan Sizhui’s smiles were brighter. Warmer. As if he’d learned a deeper form of joy from watching him. Lan Wangji smiled back at him and felt grateful for his family.
“Why do you say that? I outran him. I’m the one who did well.”
Lan Sizhui tried unsuccessfully to dodge Wei Wuxian’s hand on his hair again. Lan Wangji noticed that Lan Sizhui had not tried very hard to get away.
He waited until they were alone to ask.
“Did you speak to Wen Qing?”
Wei Wuxian’s smile turned careful. His eyes lightly assessed Lan Wangji.
“Ah, Lan Zhan. You notice everything.”
“You stopped drinking,” he noted as an explanation.
This had been the most dramatic of the changes, but it was not the only change. They had gone on a night-hunt recently where Wei Wuxian had fought in a new style. He had performed no demonic cultivation and had been noticeably careful to avoid danger. He was also sleeping and eating on a more regular schedule.
Wei Wuxian pouted. “I wanted to be subtle about it.”
Lan Wangji had also noticed the attempts at subtlety. Mostly they involved serving himself tea in wine cups and conspicuously leaving empty wine bottles in the Jingshi.
“Why?”
“I didn’t want to worry you,” Wei Wuxian said, as expected. “I want to try to be healthier. It ought to help my cultivation, right?”
He flicked a finger against Chenqing’s tassel to watch the silk dance.
“Are you well?”
“Of course I’m well,” Wei Wuxian said with an easy smile. “Lan Zhan, you know Wen Qing wouldn’t have let me go if I weren’t.”
“Mn,” Lan Wangji agreed.
Wen Qing knew and loved Wei Wuxian. She would not let him be hurt if she could prevent it, and it was a good sign that Wei Wuxian had gone to her. Lan Wangji still worried. He had noticed that Wei Wuxian tired more easily during night-hunts, recently. He was quieter at mealtimes and ate without much interest in his food even if Lan Wangji brought him his favorite dishes.
He let the matter rest, however, until the third time Wei Wuxian woke up looking ill. Lan Wangji had woken up at his usual time, gone through his morning duties, and returned to the Jingshi with breakfast for Wei Wuxian. He found Wei Wuxian already awake but sitting on the ground by their bed wrapped in a bedsheet.
“Wei Ying,” he said in concern.
He put the tray of food on the table and rushed over to help Wei Wuxian up.
“Ah, thank you Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian said, and he sighed before tucking his face into the crook of Lan Wangji’s neck. “You smell nice.”
Lan Wangji rubbed his back until Wei Wuxian lifted his head.
“Is it okay if I don’t eat right away? I’m not hungry right now.”
“You might feel better once you have eaten,” Lan Wangji told him.
Wei Wuxian looked pale and his breathing was a little irregular. He shook his head.
“I’ll get ready for the day first.”
He stepped away in the direction of the water-basin where he could wash his face.
“Wei Ying.”
Wei Wuxian paused and looked at him over his shoulder. Lan Wangji caught his breath, and Wei Wuxian’s eyes lit up with amusement. He was beautiful. In the morning light, with his hair hanging down his back and his eyes unfocused from the remnants of sleep, he was beautiful. But his lips were tight and his shoulders hunched in discomfort.
Lan Wangji stepped closer to him and placed a hand on Wei Wuxian’s cheek. There was a light layer of sweat over his cool skin.
“Would you prefer to eat something else?”
Wei Wuxian smiled at him fondly. “No, this is a good breakfast you’ve gotten me, er-gege. I just need to get my hair under control.”
“Wei Ying,” he coaxed as gently as he could.
Wei Wuxian’s gaze dropped. He sighed. “Lan Zhan, you’re so…” he smiled “so attentive. And caring. My er-gege.”
He gave Lan Wangji a quick kiss.
“I’m feeling fine,” he confirmed before Lan Wangji could ask again. “My stomach’s a bit unsettled. I think it was that snack I tried before bedtime.”
Lan Wangji nodded. He did remember Wei Wuxian eating out of a small paper bag the night before. It was probably a snack the juniors had brought in from the town to share with him. He considered asking the juniors to be more careful, but he didn’t think Wei Wuxian would appreciate that. He was as adventurous when it came to food as he was with regard to so many things.
Wei Wuxian smiled and turned away once Lan Wangji nodded.
Lan Wangji still paid anxious attention to the changes Wei Wuxian made. He had been working hard on cultivating his golden core since the beginning, but after his visit with Wen Qing, he developed a solemn edge to his efforts. Meditation had always been Wei Wuxian’s least favorite cultivation method. Now he practiced it with dedication every day. He became more careful in his sword-fighting practice and very selective about his sparring partners.
None of these changes were bad, but Lan Wangji sensed that there was something Wei Wuxian wasn’t telling him.
.*.*.*.*.*.
Wei Wuxian was certain that he was growing a Lan inside him. Aside from being unable to eat anything but the flavorless Lan Sect food, he was now struggling to stay awake past haishi. It was humiliating. Not only that, but the evening exhaustion was making him too quiet for Lan Wangji’s comfort. Wei Wuxian tried to cover for his silences by becoming very studious after dinner.
It was not bad. Lan Wangji played his guqin while Wei Wuxian read texts that Wen Qing recommended on the topics of pregnancy and dual cultivation. He disguised them using the skills he’d originally developed to hide porn, so that Lan Wangji would not be suspicious. This reading strategy was not always successful, however.
“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji said softly one night.
“Mn,” Wei Wuxian responded on instinct, and then jerked awake, shaking his head to try to rattle some alertness out of wherever it was hiding.
He had apparently fallen asleep reading a medical text, because Lan Wangji was kneeling in front of him instead of sitting at his guqin.
“Go rest if you are tired.”
“It’s not haishi yet. I’m not tired.”
“Those two statements are not related.”
Wei Wuxian pouted and hugged the book to his chest defensively. “It’s just that this text is so boring.”
Lan Wangji gave the title a glance. “I did not know you were interested in biographies.”
The title tonight was “the most accomplished cultivators known to history.”
“You say that as if I hadn’t just proven you right,” Wei Wuxian noted. “The title seemed promising.”
“Are you worrying about your progress in cultivation?”
Wei Wuxian didn’t know how to respond. The answer was both yes and no. He was worried. He knew he was doing a poor job of hiding it. But he couldn’t tell Lan Wangji that he wasn’t worried about cultivation for its own sake. Wei Wuxian wanted very much to speak openly to his husband and relieve his worry. But if he told him the truth, he would not be relieving Lan Wangji’s worry. He would just transfer it to someone tiny and fragile and Wei Wuxian had already subjected Lan Wangji to thirteen years of grief.
In the end, he reluctantly said, “It used to come so easily to me. Both the cultivation and the patience. I think I’m…impatient. And I’m annoyed at myself for being impatient.”
He frowned at the floor instead of meeting Lan Wangji’s eyes. He had not exactly lied. Mo Xuanyu’s golden core was not on the same level as his original core. It didn’t help that Mo Xuanyu had trained it in the Jin Sect style while Wei Wuxian was a Yunmeng-Jiang disciple, and moreover one unable to practice with other Yunmeng-Jiang disciples.
“You are advancing quickly,” Lan Wangji argued. “Over-exhausting yourself will not help.”
Wei Wuxian thought about that and nodded. It was one thing to tire himself out in the name of cultivating. It was another thing to refuse to rest out of sheer stubbornness. Besides, if Lan Wangji told him he was cultivating quickly, then he believed him. Lan Wangji would not lie for the sake of giving him false comfort.
“I’ll be more careful. But Hanguang-Jun,” he added, shifting into a more teasing tone, “I think you’re a little biased.”
“How?”
“You’ve been at the top for so long, you’ve forgotten how hard you had to work to get to that point. Your body and your golden core are simply accustomed to that level of cultivation,” Wei Wuxian said, running a finger pointedly past Lan Wangji’s wrist and over the curve of his well-sculpted bicep. Then he stopped and met Lan Wangji’s eyes with a raised eyebrow. “Am I pushing myself any harder than Sizhui?”
“Yes. Sizhui does not invent talismans for fun.”
Wei Wuxian laughed. “You said it yourself- that’s for fun!”
Lan Wangji’s eyes softened and he looked at Wei Wuxian thoughtfully.
“Maybe I think of you in the same way you think of me, and so it is difficult to understand why you need to push yourself so hard.”
Wei Wuxian snorted. “Now I understand how you ended up in my clutches. Ridiculous.”
Then he smiled ruefully because he’d accidentally stolen Lan Wangji’s admonishment. Lan Wangji let a corner of his lips turn up. Wei Wuxian’s heart gave an almost painful throb from the sheer affection in Lan Wangji’s eyes. Here he was, kneeling before his silly husband, to try convince him to do the logical thing and sleep. And he did not seem to mind one bit.
“Will you go rest?” he asked gently.
Wei Wuxian tossed the book aside so he could throw his arms around his beautiful husband.
“If you want to make sure I go to bed, then you should take me to bed, er-gege.”
.*.*.*.*.*.